A/N: Heeeeeey People :) Next chappy, more of the vid. Sorry about so much monologue, wanted to wrap up a bit about Lauren..Karen... erm... the docs past. It's more an information dump I have the feeling... hmmm.. Well.. again thanks for your kind reviews guys. You make me continue this and make me smile every time I read them. I'm sorry that the chapters are a little short at the moment, but they'll become longer again. Promise.

Chapter 10

„Guille wins" boomed out of the TV.

„That's 22:4 in favor to me" Ivy grinned, doing a little victory dance still sitting on the couch.

„Not fair, I don't know how, buuuut you are cheating girl. Big time." huffed Kenzi, throwing the controller onto the couch.

„When you have to stay inside all the time, can't do sports or just run around the woods like the other kids you have to find something else to do in your free time... Lori gave me a SNES for christmas many years ago. That was when my gaming „career" started." her smile was sad, remembering all the times she envied the other kids, being able to play outside, to have a normal childhood, while she just couldn't. Her sister tried her best to keep her company, to make her feel normal, but still...

"Don't play the pity card with me. That doesn't work. I lived on the streets so I don't have so much experience, since a homeless person usually doesn't have a TV or something..." Kenzi looked sad.

"I'm sorry Kenzi.. I didn't..." Before Ivy could continue Kenzi grinned.

"See sickgirl? It just makes feel bad when you start telling you sad stories..."

They were sitting in silence for a few minutes until Kenzi asked: „So you have any idea what's on that DVD?"

Ivy shook her head. „No. I didn't watch it and if I have to guess? Well... I don't know any person that is as secretive as my sister. She's not really predictable... Sometimes I wonder what's going on in that big brain of hers." she let out a big sigh.

„I know what you mean... Urm... Are you allright? I know we had quite the workout in the game, but you are sweating for real and.. look kinda pale." Kenzi looked with concerned eyes at her newfound friend.

„Ivy?, Hotpants Jr.?" she waved her hand infront of Ivys eyes, but the brunette clutched at her chest, her breathing was labored. Sweat trickling down her forehead.

„Pills... above the sink. Kitchen" she muttered, visibly in pain. The attacks were always sudden, but usually not as painful like this.

Kenzi didn't waste any time and sprinted in the kitchen, fetching the pills and some water. Hopefully it would help.

Ivys vision was blurry, her heart felt like it was about to explode into a million pieces. The pain spread through her body, crawling along her arms, hurting like a thousand needles were injecting themselves into her skin. Fingers became numb.

It had taken Bo a pretty long time to put herself enough together to continue watching only to crumble again when Lauren started to talk about her father. She was full of adoration, but the pain flickered all knowingly in her eyes. The blond was partially breaking down recalling the day her father had died. It was painful to watch. The stoic doctor who always held her strong façade, looked like a tiny and lost girl missing her father. She must have bottled up the feelings or the outbreak after all these years wouldn't have been so heart wrenching.

She finally had started to talk about her recruitment

„I was young... stupid... naïve... idealistic. I never thought about the repercussions then. All I saw was the potential, the potential to change the world into something better, the potential to help millions of sick people. I thought... I thought that we were making a difference. I had been so blind. The chance to maybe cure my sister... My wonderful babysister... made me oblivious to everything else... God Ivy... please tell her how sorry I am... I promised, but I wasn't good enough...Take care of her. It's all I'm asking. She is wonderful, but... don't tell her this, but I know how alone she always feels... You'd like her... I guess she and Kenzi would get along pretty well..." Bo had to smile how right Lauren was with her assumption. Lauren returned to her first topic.

„The first year was amazing. I just finished my residency and then so much still to learn, to research. They always said it was for the greater good. It was for freedom... Everything was harmless at the beginning, but then they looked for voluntaries. It was ok... we never tested anything we weren't sure about it would work. We made incredible progress in medicine. We almost found the holy grail so to say...

And then... then we started to experiment on... on creatures. Animals I've never seen before, gigantic and small, sometime with incredible abilities... It turned out we were experimenting on underfae... I just recently put the pieces together. Stupid... So fucking stupid. No wonder we were wanted criminals and that one researcher after another seemingly disappeared. They were hunted. I've been hunted by Fae, I just didn't know by then. Since I'm working for Hale I had more freedom to look deeper into it. Apparently not all who disappeared were killed. Some promising ‚humans' were recruited by the Fae.

I never knew the head of HFF, nobody really seemed to know, but... but I have a suspicion.

They changed a lot over the time. Someday they were looking for people to infiltrate research labs, politics and military. I've done work in some companies I'm not proud of today, did this I wasn't aware of since shortly. I have to make this right...

„I gave up everything I stood for the moment I joined HFF, the worst thing is that I wasn't aware of it until it was to late. My military career was long over when I fully committed to HFF. I've managed to work both for a long time, but... my mind was so engrossed with the possible breakthroughs, eventually healing Ivy that I forgot every caution, every rational thought... It was too late and I was too deep into it when I came to my senses. colleagues were disappearing and I knew I had to go. Healers Freedom Front may have sound stupid, but... Well... 2 days ago I found out what it really stood for... Human Front against Fae... Still a very stupid name but... They knew Bo... the knew about the Fae then, but I didnt...

I ran away, leaving everything behind. Changing my names, personalities, looks like some dirty pants. Always on the edge, afraid to be caught someday, to not be fast enough once. It was exciting for some time, but most of the time it was tiresome. Sleep was rare, housing sparse... Well.. you of all people should know how it is to on the run, to not trust anyone, to... to be disgusting by yourself... You just acted because of your nature, but me? I chose to be monster... I've hurt without knowing, people died because of my research... It can not be excused... god..." Was that really how she felt? A monster?

„Oh Lauren... you are no monster... You're not perfect, you made mistakes, but you are no monster for doing what you believed in..." Bo whispered against the screen. She knew it was stupid, she knew Lauren couldn't hear her, but she couldn't help herself.

„I've ventured along the Amazonas for some time. Helping the people as best as I could, but I felt hollow inside. Numb. I've broke many hearts but I didn't care. Fucked every pretty girl I saw just to feel anything. Wasn't really working...I was so pathetic..." She closed her eyes for a moment, pinching her nose before she continued talking, her hands doing her usual nervous explaining.

„The first chance I had, I landed in Afghanistan. Certain to help the troops. It was the reason I signed up for actually and I neglected, kicked my heritage with feet. My father wouldn't be proud of me. Not after what I did. I wanted at least to do something good, something to ease his anger. It was unexpectedly easy for me to get there under a wrong identity. But I was a certified military doctor. I trained for years. They didn't asked, so I just landed there.

Before I reached camp... An attack... Car bomb. Don't remember much just... just the loud boom. Pain... then darkness." Lauren gulped, nervously playing with her top, not looking into the camera.

„I woke up in a clinique. Alone, sore, but relatively unhurt. I thought they'd patched me up, that I've been far enough away from the explosion. I was surprised, but didn't ask much because I was just... happy? I remember a black, stoic man sitting beside my bed when I woke up. He didn't say much only.. only that Karen Beattie was declared dead and that it should stay that way. I didn't really understand, but agreed. Staging my death would set me free, I was able to live a life... Just..It wasn't... It wasn't staged. God... How do you say something like this?" her voice was wavering. Bo had a bad feeling.

„Oh god.. please don't... don't say..." Bo begged.

„I... I died...Was dead... I found out a year ago... The bomb ripped me into pieces.. I.. I saw.. saw the pictures in.. in the Ashs archives... I don't know how or why but... They... they revived me. ME...That was why the Ash was there, I didn't know.. I" Bo could see how hard it was for her to talk about it and all she wanted to do was to wrap the blond in her arms, cooing sweat words into her ear.

Bo was crying. Lauren had died...Had actually, really, totally been dead... That was big...Much...

„I never told anyone... Who would even believe that story? I'm still not really believing it myself..." She looked at her watch sighing.

„Time is fleeting... Dammit... I stayed in Afghanistan. The Ash must have arranged something for me to return to the camp. At least I think so, because there weren't any questions who I was or where I was coming from. From that day on I was Lauren Lewis... Why I chose that name you may ask... Lauren... Lauren was my grams name and my middle name. Probably the reason why Ivy is calling me Lori to this day on. I always liked my middle name... And Lewis... Because of my father. Major Louis Bradford Beattie..." the blond smiled sadly.

„Ivy I've got..." Kenzi stopped for a second in her tracks looking at the spasming form of Ivy.

„Oh shit... shit shit shit shit..." Kenzi was muttering under breath. She didn't know what she should do. Throwing the pills in? no she would choke on it or wouldn't she?

Ivys body stopped moving and a cold chill went through Kenzis spine. An ambulance wouldn't be fast enough. Kenzi felt for a pulse.

„Oh fucking shit..." Her hands were shaking. She needed help, pronto.

With all her force she started to yell „BOOOOOOOO!" she only hoped the succubus was able to bring her back.