Disclaimer: I DO NOT OWN DEVIL MAY CRY OR IT'S CHARACTERS! JUST MY OC'S.

Recap: Once we got into the house though, those plans went down the fucking drain. Cause there was Claude sitting at the kitchen table with his hands weaving tunes around the Theremin, a sad nostalgic smile on his face. "Ah Josslyn, so glad you could come." He said with a wide closed mouth smile.

Okay, that last sentence made no sense, but I'm sure scattering Claude's face onto the walls with Samh will. I had the shotgun devil arm out and pointed at his face as Dee appeared beside him with Hallow in hand. Claude paused in mild shock at Dee and then back at me. "I knew that you were turned into a half demon, but I didn't know you had this power." He waved his hands around the Theremin to make a few dramatic wavy noises. "A whole bodied doppelganger, quite… interesting."

Dee raised the corner of his mouth in annoyance and disgust. "Doppelganger my ass, I'm the real deal bitch." He growled darkly and started pulling the trigger. Claude stared at him wide eyed and stopped moving his hands. Dee smiled wildly as I started to inch towards the hallway. "Now then, where's the old lady?"

I turned to go down the hallway and head for my room when Claude was standing in front of me. I twisted and brought Samh up in an attempt to cut him, but he wasn't there anymore. "Well my, my." He said, I turned to see him back at the table looking at Dee as he attempted to touch him more. "An actual sentient doppelganger with it's own personality." Claude turned to me and nodded approvingly. "You are indeed a special case."

Was that a compliment or am I just being slow enough to take it as an insult? "Dee, mid-"

"No need to activate any other power." Claude said from behind me. I turned and slashed at him, but he stopped the blade with a single finger. "I'm actually here with a definite offer to help you."

"STAY AWAY FROM THE MIRRORS!" Dee shouts as he attempts to smash the one on the opposite wall above the bar. The kitchen layout was odd, there was a passage way in the middle of a dividing wall that separated the front door entrance for a short bit. On the other side of the entrance is a large bar/storage area/extra seating space. On either side of that wall was a mirror of different sizes, because the sunlight would come in and reflect into the kitchen. Wait, if Claude could travel through mirrors.

"DON'T BREAK IT THEN DUMBASS!" I yelled back and jumped away from the demon at hand. Dee paused in mid swing and stumbled slightly into the bar, demon or not physics applied, I think. Lot of impossible shit has happened, so you never know. "Multiple points of entry and exit, besides he could just use reflections instead of mirrors."

"Oh no, I require mirrors." Claude announced as he leaned up against the wall behind him, guarding the hallway to my room. "After all, mirrors are key tools to illusions, and that dear Josslyn, is my ability. But I am not here for a fight."

Dee was the one to snort, I simply rolled my eyes. "Right, and I'm straight as an arrow." I retort as Dee launches forward with a manic smile as he attempts to cut Claude to pieces.

"You seem to forget that arrows bend, even if to the slightest degree." Claude said as he simply disappeared and reappeared in front of the fireplace. Okay, mental note of mirrors…. Too many to count. "I am here to offer up my services to you both."

I looked at Dee and he simply shrugged his shoulders. "Go get Grandpa's joke." He nodded and in a flash he was back holding the trisecting holsters by the leather straps.

Claude chuckled. "Oh yes, Love, War and the unbeatable Fair. Quite the joke Step-" I shot him in the foot to shut him up, he stumbled as the appendage disappeared and seemed slightly pained.

"You shut the fuck up about my family. You came here to talk, talk." I growled as I tossed Dee Samh and he tossed me the holsters.

"Oh, I seem to have struck a cord." Claude joked dryly. I only glared as I adjusted the harness to my body, it actually felt comfortable in some weird way. The way you wear it is weird, War and Love go up underneath your armpits, but in a way that's like a regular gun holster. Reach up under your arms to grab the handles. Fair's handle was downward at an angle to where I reach up underneath my shirt to grab it at my back. When you pull off the holsters, they go back to that whole X,Y,Z axis positions.

"I don't know, why not ask Robert that question." Dee remarked as he leveled Samh and Hallow at Claude's head. I had Love and War out in no time and were pointed down at the floor.

"Ah, so you found the letter." He remarked calmly as he sat down on the hearth. "Yes, I took him from the market. But no, I did not kill him. That would be my… employers." He said the word with a twisted look and filled with malice.

"Doesn't matter." I told him soullessly as I raised War. "Sixty seconds, clock starts now."

"Very well then. My abilities are menial among my kin, for I am only capable of illusion and travel with mirrors." So that's how he grabbed Robert so fast, there's a mirror at McAlley's supercenter around the deli and bakery sections, those fish eyeball ones that allow you see down the next aisle. "Therefore since I wasn't much of power, I was bargained off to Aron and Debbie Pelt in order for their services to my father."

"Boo fucking hoo, thirty seconds." Dee said.

Claude merely scoffed at him. "I grow tired of just being some plaything that will bend to whatever whim they desire." He smiled devilishly. "So, I wish to pay them back for a few decades worth of work. Why not use their perfectly crafted lamb to destroy them." Lamb? Crafted?

The blades of War where in his face without me thinking. Stupid, fucking stupid. Never get close to the bad guy, those idiots always die or get taken down first. "What the fuck do you mean?" I growled darkly.

Claude raised a finger and wagged it. "Quid pro quo Clarice." Oh great, a Hannibal Lector fan. "But this quo is only for my deal, no other. I will loan you my abilities in order for you to return to the Pelts home tonight and to enact the world's most joyous massacre upon them and their guests." His eye's where sparkling, he was ecstatic at the image inside his twisted little mind.

"You say temporarily loan us your powers, that means you'll still be alive and waiting for us to be done." Dee replied cautiously. "What's to say we just kill you and take your powers as our own."

Claude laughed and within in instant he had my glasses in hand. "Because I am leaving you only one ability, when you're both done, it will disappear." His hands glowed as I swung War and then he was gone. My glasses clattered down onto the hearth and I heard Dee swear as Claude snapped his fingers. "Your glasses now temporarily contain my ability of illusion. Just wear them and they will allow you to turn your form into anyone or thing you desire to look like. I recommend myself for your infiltration. For now, I await the news of your success. Good luck dear Josslyn, you innocent lamb. I am counting on you."

"Dee, is he still in the house?" I looked down at my glasses and simply ignored them as I went down the hall. Chances are, Grandma locked herself inside Grandpa's cellar/hidey-hole.

"80 percent sure he's not." He replied with a Gaelic shrug as he set Samh on the floor and picked up my glasses. "Huh, your glasses now say Rose on the side."

I snorted as I stopped at my room and hit the dresser. After a minute of Velma acting I found my last pair of spares. "Viewing the world through a pair of rose colored glasses, why is everything a joke these days?" My current pair of glasses that are now semi possessed had black trimming that was about half an inch thick on the arms and was basically all acrylic almost. This pair was my set with large wide lenses like that my neighbor Carl, who's 88 with cataracts wears. Grandpa glasses. Putting them on was fun, going from a higher grade prescription to a lower one was always a freaking headache.

Grandma was indeed inhabiting the hidey-hole, and she looked worse for wear. Eye's red, mild puffiness in her cheeks and sniffing slightly while rubbing her arm on her sleeve. A picture of Grandpa with a little child standing next to him beaming as he was holding a large bass in hand. "Josslyn?" she asked in a slightly choked tone of voice.

"Is that Robert?" I ask pointing to the picture as I finished walking into the large cavern. Laying in a large metal rack next to the desk she was sitting at was an old Chicago typewriter, AKA the Thompson Submachine gun. Drum magazine in place with plenty of stick ones littered among the desk with bottles of holy water scattered among them. "Wow, didn't know we had this bad boy."

Grandma smirked and pulled the gun up from the rack in a large swift dash and had it pointed at me. "It's a girl actually, Ethel. Now, answer this question. How did you break you arm?"

"I didn't break my arm, it was my left leg at Wild River Rapids water park because Mickey pushed me into the vortex slide when Tony went down and I tumbled down the tube. Six places on Katie's birthday, July 22nd." And guess who had to take care of me during my summer of broken leggedness? That's right, my cousins as payment. Tony had grabbed my leg and Mickey had pushed. Why the hell had I even bothered to get in between those two assholes and be directly behind Tony in the waiting pool, I will never know. At least Tony got a black eye.

She visibly relaxed the gun down and put it on the desk after picking up the photo. "Yes, this is Robert… he looks a little like you." She said holding up the picture to where she could compare it with me. She paused when she looked at my face. "Where are you glasses at?"

"Here they be." Dee exclaimed. I turned to find Betty White standing behind me. "And they seem to do exactly what Claude said." Reaching up to his/her face, my glasses appeared and Dee was standing in place while pulling them off. "Just think of the image before you put Rose on, and voila. By the way, I believe you neighbor wants his glasses back."

"Oh my god, you even joke like Stephan." Grandma groaned aloud as she stood up and brought Ethel along. "I swear, if you are somehow some incarnate version of my husband, I will warn you of very unspeakable things." We both shuddered at the thought. "So, what did Claude do exactly?"

"Apparently he left us an opening to kill off the Pelts at the expense of his power, temporarily of course." Dee said with an eye roll as he handed me Rose. "I believe I have a plan."

"I have one as well, Grandma, I need to know where the old walkie talkies are. And then I need you to purchase two 25 pound bags of potting soil and two large plastic tubs, lids included. By the way, is the insurance on the PT Cruiser still intact?"

-Some time later- (At the Pelts.)

Have to say, the Pelts sure have it nice. A large roman revival like plantation house in the middle of wisteria tree's out in the middle of nowhere. I didn't even know there was a house like this out here if it shows you how much it's a shock. Vines creeped up the columns, and a fine gravel driveway led up to it. There were cars parked along the u shaped driveway, fancy ones. Rolls Royce, Mercedes, other fancy cars that aren't exactly lambo's or Ferraris but scream expensive. Non-descriptive I know, but I only know classics and a few at that.

My large rolling suitcase bumped on the gravel repeatedly and nearly tipped over, sorry Dee. I had to lug it up the stairs, and then was met with a few tuxedo clad men with ribbon ties that are obviously the help. A slight hair raising sensation on the back of my neck told me that they are in fact demons.

"Claude, what are you doing with such a deplorable section of luggage?" One asked in a mocking tone.

"Indeed, and what is the ghastly smell?" They seemed to have fun ribbing me, but beneath their gaze I saw anger. What are the chances they are in the same situation as Claude? People stopped from inside the house, a glance through the open French doors showed it was in full gala style ball. Everyone in attendance was decked out in old school Hollywood style clothing to what'd you think of high class ballroom wear.

Think of the vampires at the ball in Van Hellsing or high end Masquerade, minus the masks. Everyone there seemed to be others who stood out as servants, men or women in their human form. Maybe some where human. And in the middle stood Aron and Debbie Pelt. Debbie was wearing a simply black Old School Hollywood dress that clung in a graceful manner without being to clingy. A black silk scarf completed the outfit while accompanying black elbow length gloves with a small pearl pendant around her neck. Aron was dressed in black as well, but more english in manner with a deep red cravat and his black hair slicked back. They looked ready for the red carpet in this small town, but the plastic like nature of their faces destroyed the ultimate image of beauty.

"Claude?" Debbie called out with an outstretched arm. "Is Miriam here?"

I shook my head no and walked forward, pulling the suitcase behind me. "Unfortunately madam, no. It would seem that she was poisoned against us by Josslyn. He awaited me along with her and attempted to kill me, but they failed."

Debbie's face loss all of what little life it held and she pursed her lips. "Did you kill Miriam?" Aron asked.

"No, for Josslyn acquired a pocket dimension somehow and pushed her inside before our battle ensued. He would not open it for me to retrieve her." Aron's face twisted slightly before becoming perfectly stone like.

"No bother, we will retrieve her later. Now then, what indeed is inside that suitcase?" It's amazing how dignified they sound as soon as they drop the fake accents.

I pulled the suitcase forward and allowed it to dip onto the floor. Everyone crowded around us as I bent down. I didn't see Marta anywhere. "Unfortunately, I didn't have the necessary energy left to travel fully with him my usual methods. So I resorted to this method. Allow me to introduce our guest of honor." With a flourish I unzipped the suitcase and grabbed ahold of Dee's hair and pulled him to his knees. The tug on the back of my scalp hurt like hell, but a small price to pay. "Josslyn Tritell Franco."

Dee had altered his appearance to look exactly like me, spare glasses and all. Thank god for Drama class, cause I was damn good at painting on bruises and cuts. With his hands and legs zip tied behind him and his mouth duct taped closed, he looked incredibly pissed. Everyone gasped in amused manners as their eyes went wide. Then Debbie smiled widely and spun in a circle and laughed. "Well Ladies and Gentlemen, why not give our guest a proper welcome!" she exclaimed in jubilee.

Everyone cheered aloud and laughed and danced. I pulled Dee to his feet and felt him smirk under the tape. "Bring out the chosen!" Someone exclaimed in a joyous tone. Chorus of replies that where similar. Debbie turns around swiftly, a gun in her hand and pointed at my face.

"Oh chosen one!" she says in a high pitched sing song like manner as she cocks the hammer. "Do take off that horrid disguise, it's quite unbecoming."

Everyone else pulls out guns as well as blades hidden within their persons. The more demonic servants revealed wicked looking blades and weaponry. "Excuse me madam?" I ask in a cool manner. Best laid plans and all that jazz, but luckily I thought of a contingency plan.

"Do you really expect us to believe that Claude defeated you?" Aron asks with a large smirk. "Especially after all the lovely stories we've been hearing about you? Oh, that Arkam sure is a talkative one when he's angry."

I sighed and looked down at Dee, he could only shrug. "Destroy the doppelganger, it will not help you." Someone behind us says and I feel the presence of a guns barrel on the back of my head. "And get rid of the disguise."

I looked at Dee and raised up my hand slowly and snapped my fingers. A black pool opened up underneath him and he was gone like that. Midnight world, special delivery coming up. "As to the disguise, I believe I will pass on that option. I would rather like to see what is going to come along."

The little look of confusion on everyone's faces told it all. I smirked as small ripples in the area around me. "THE DOPPLEGANGER!" Aron shouted aloud in fear. I jumped up as the PT Cruiser appeared and came back down on the top of the car. Dee honked the horn and smiled through the windshield.

"Aron, Debbie, guest, allow for me to introduce Dee the inner demon. Dee, say hello."

He stuck Samh out the window and cranked the lever to switch to buckshot. "Hello fuck face." The back seat of the car had a large plastic bin about a foot and a half deep, same width, but three feet long. Packed with three fourths of the way with potting soil and sprinkled with kerosene mixed with gas and a little left over moonshine, courtesy of Uncle Monty's gift from Grandpa's funeral. There's two extended open ended wires hooked into an old walkie talkie, specifically the circuit that responds to incoming calls. The trunk and floor boards were packed full of sharp and point objects, same for in between the doors. Kinda like putting phone books in the excess space to do a poor mans bullet proofing job, just instead of the yellowpages it's nails and bits of scrap metal liberated from the school's shop class and recycle bin down at the scrap yard. We drove the Cruiser into the midnight world, left it there and traveled into town and liberated the places aforementioned. For extra explosion I also borrowed a few sticks of dynamite that Kerry made as well as leftover nitroglycerin inside a very cushioned box.

In a flash Dee was standing on the room with me and I was pulling out a holy water star from my pocket. Clothes seemed to become real with Rose's disguise. Everyone's eye's grew wide as Dee smirked and winked out of this dimension and I dropped the star and stepped on it. The mansion literally screamed in pain, not just the occupants, but the building itself as if it were alive. Dee popped back into existence and we both jumped over the crowd of kneeling demons and confused looking humans to land on the grand staircase and run up to the top.

I turned around and pulled out the walkie talkie that was our triggering device. "See you all in hell." I said with a sarcastic twang as I hit the call button. Nothing happened. "Mother of pearl." I exclaimed as I hit the button a few more times.

"Come on Heath Ledger." Dee urged as a few demons stood up. Debbie and Aron turned to us and Debbie fired her gun at me, it missed by a wide margin.

"You'll find that electricity doesn't work here unless we allow it." She said smugly. I looked at Dee and he only rolled his eyes.

"And Grandma said that keeping the dynamite in the front seat was a bad idea." I remarked. He only barked a laugh as he cocked the lever on Hallow.

Aron barked an order in some kinda language while the others were looking at us like we were stupid. I quickly pulled out Love and then Dee and I fired in unison at the front passenger seat. A large explosion took place, followed by a few more chained together with seconds of separation. You know the physics of a blast radius usually isn't that large unless it's like a twenty pound bag of explosives. Well, I think we got something around that cause the two of us where blown off our feet and into the wall behind us. The house groaned again and the cream and white colors began to peel and chip as it faded to a bleaker grey color.

"Told you we should have used more nitroglycerin." Dee says as I pulls himself out of the Dee shaped hole in the plaster wall. "Bigger boom."

"Whatever." I say as I step out of my hole and dust off the black jacket. Shockingly, the guise was still in effect. I pulled out War and smiled at him. "Now then, shall we treat ourselves to the festivities?" his eyes glowed dark and fiery red as his fingers became claws around the butts of the devil arms.

"It is time to bath in their blood." He said in a darkly demonic voice.

Oh my god, I am so sorry to anyone who reads any of my stories. There really is no excuse to why any of my updates are extremely late. But I'll try to dig my way out of it anyway, I've thought about every single one of my stories. Plot wise, descriptions, those private moments I'm sure everyone wants more of. Unfortunately, I just haven't had the drive to put fingers to keys. And it sucks like hell. Though I have gotten the start on a few other stories as a way to get the inspiration, but still, it sucks. Sorry to everyone and anyone, I hope to god I didn't piss you all off. Reality Meet Devil May Cry will be updated soon, I promise.