Disclaimer: As always I don't own anything… Not The Secretary and not Twilight… they belong to their respective writers… I just own a fucked up thought process…

AN: A very special Thank you For my Pre-reader Ginnie and my Beta PrettyKittyArtist… that even going against both of their advice I left some filler in… Sorry ladies I have a special reason for having it… Part of this reason is because the people that make a cameo in this chapter are special to me and I wanted them to know it. And also I wanted you all to understand what Esme went through to try and help our boy Edward. Get a little understanding on how demanding and difficult he really can be.

I know I have been an epic fail at replying to your reviews… Believe me I do read them and appreciate them very much… but things have been crazy for me the last few weeks. I also appreciate every single one of you who have fav'd, or alerted the story. First lots happened at work and secondly I ended up getting really sick… which is why this update is late… my humblest of apologies. Really… I was doing a Will Smith in Hitch impression for a few days. Im actually still pretty swollen. Docs haven't figured out what I am reacting to but I have picked up some kind of allergy. Anyway I hope you are all ok with it. Some have asked if I have a posting schedule and I hope to be able to post every other week. But I make no for sure promises as I am still trying to settle down with RL stuff. Please bear with me while I figure it all out. Thanks everyone.

And now the chapter you are all anxious for….

~~~~~TCBS~~~~~

Walking into her bedroom after so many months away was hard on Bella. The temptation to cut herself was stronger since she kept her stash of blades hidden in there. The top right corner of her bed, between the mattress and box spring. She went over to look and just as she remembered, there sat the little black cosmetic bag. Peeking in, she found the Exacto knife, box cutter, pocket knife, and shaving blades lined up just the way she'd left them the last time she put them away. Running her fingers over the handles of the knives and box cutter, she remembered the feel of the cold, sharp blade as it stung, making the gouge in her skin. The memory of the feeling made her body shiver in need, pleasure, pain and desire. Thankful for the knock on the door that helped push the desire out of her mind, she stashed her cosmetic bag back in its hiding spot before letting her visitor inside.

"Hey, little sis, how are you feeling?" Leah asked her step-sister as she walked passed her into the room. She kept her voice soft, much the same as you would with a wild animal. She didn't think of her sister as a wild animal, but she was unsure of how to treat Bella. So much had changed since finding out about what she did to herself. Leah was still not privy to the details, but she knew enough to understand something major was behind it.

Trying to be as honest as she could, Bella answered, "Strange. It feels weird being back in this room. It's been so long since I've been here, so long since I was in that place." A big part of her missed the rehab center now that she was back home, but it wasn't enough where she would want to go back.

"I'm sure it is, but I'm so glad you're back. There is so much that still needs to be done before the wedding. The main being that we need to get you fitted for the dress." Leah wasn't trying to be insensitive to her sister or her needs, but there really was only six weeks left until the wedding. There was still so much that needed to be taken care of, and if helping with the wedding helped Bella focus on something other than hurting herself, then it was a plus.

"Jake's already been fitted for his tuxedo, the cake's been ordered, the flowers chosen, and the minister confirmed. As you can see, mom and I have been very busy while you were gone, so all that is really pending is just you getting fitted."

"But I was already fitted before I went into the clinic." Bella was confused why she would have to be fitted again when they already took care of it.

Leah tried to figure out how to say what she needed to say politely, but decided to go with the direct approach. "Yeah, Bella, I know you were already fitted, but that was before you went to the clinic, and before you filled in."

Bella scoffed at that, where had she filled in. Her sister must need glasses if she thought she'd gained any weight. "Leah I have not filled in anywhere. My clothes feel exactly the same as they did before I left, actually, I think I might have lost a little."

"Um... Bella, you haven't lost any weight, but you have filled in. Your... um... chest area... um, it's a little bigger and uh... your hips are wider." Leah pointed at the areas as she explained how Bella's body was different. She wasn't sure why telling her sister these things made her feel so nervous, but they did. Trying to find a way to make a quick exit to avoid having to continue on with the awkward conversation, Leah played with her phone, making it seem as if she was reading a text. "I gotta go, I just got a text from Seth and he has a question about his tux."

Trying not to put too much thought into her sister's strange behavior, Bella called Ms. Cope. She was thankful that Ms. Cope went above and beyond by giving Bella her personal cell phone number in case she needed it. "Ms. Cope, I don't know if I can do this. I don't know if being in this house right now will be good for me, that it will help keep the temptations at bay."

"Oh, child, everything will be okay. We will work together to remind you of your coping exercises. The first day is always the most overwhelming, especially with all that's going on in your house right now. The pressure of a wedding added to it. It will be fine, I promise you." Ms. Cope prayed that her small words were enough to help her favorite former patient get past the need.

"Breathing and chanting a prayer isn't going to be enough to keep me from the desire. Just walking into my bedroom was overwhelming." The desperation was seeping through her words.

"Tell me, what is it that is making you want to cut right now?" Ms. Cope hoped that if she could get Bella to talk through what was tempting her most, she could get her over the desire.

"I'm sitting in this room; the room that I first started cutting myself in, the room that holds all the memories of what it feels like." Bella explained, looking around at her room.

"Well, how about if you go out and take a walk someplace, get away from that room for a little while. Maybe if you get away from there it will help you push the temptations away, or you could ask your father and step-mom to change the room."

Sighing and thinking it was best to listen to Ms. Cope's advice, Bella agreed. Thanking her counselor for the help, Bella quickly ended the call.

~~~~~TCBS~~~~~

"How was your walk, Bella?" Sue asked her step-daughter the moment she walked back into the house.

"It was refreshing and very much needed." Bella didn't want Sue to know exactly how important that walk really was. During the walk, she decided she didn't want to change rooms; she would stay in her room. She just needed to learn how to deal with things without having to cut herself.

Sue could hear something in Bella's voice, but was unsure of what caused it, so she decided to not push too much at the time. Sue really didn't want to overwhelm her step-daughter with a lot on her first night back. At the same time, Sue was afraid that things might get too hectic with the wedding and the focus on the fact that Bella just got back from the center could be lost in the rush.

"Your dad went to get a few things at the grocery store that we still need for dinner, but he should be back soon. Is there anything you want or need before dinner?"

"No. Thank you, Sue. I think I'm going to go up to my room and freshen up a little before dinner, if that is all right." Bella began to walk out of the kitchen before turning back and giving Sue a tight hug. She learned how important it was to show those around her how much she loved them while she was at the clinic.

Taken aback by Bella's actions, it took Sue a moment to fully return the hug, but she made sure that she poured all her love into it. She wanted her to know with the hug that she loved her as if she were her own daughter. With that, Bella turned and walked out of the kitchen, leaving Sue to remember that first night when they dropped her off at the rehab center.

"Please don't do this to me. Please, I don't need any help. I'm fine, really, I promise you, I will stop. There is no need to do this. Please don't just leave me here. Please." Sue heard her daughter cry, beg, and plead, breaking Sue's heart. If it were only up to her, she would take her home and try to help Bella herself, but it wasn't up to her. This was all up to Charlie, he was Bella's father.

Holding on to her father's arm, Bella cried. She knew there wasn't anything she could say that would change her father's mind about what he was doing. She recognized the look in his eyes- it was the same look she got in hers when she wasn't going to let anyone deter her from what she wanted to do.

Charlie's heart broke looking into his little girl's red and swollen eyes, but he loved her too much to watch her hurt herself the way she was. With a final hug and kiss to the top of his daughter's head, Charlie pried her fingers from the tight grip she had on him, turned toward Sue, and walked out the centers doors. He could still hear Bella's pleas and cries as they made their way to the car.

The ride back to their home was a quiet one. Sue let her husband deal with the pain she was sure he was feeling. Squeezing his right thigh in a show of support, she said, "It's for the best. We had to do it. She needs the help, and we can't help her ourselves if we don't know what is causing it."

Charlie sighed, before replying, "I know, but it's still so hard. How long has she been doing this right under our noses?" The self depredation was clear in his tone. He hated the fact that his little girl was hurting for so long and he had not seen it.

"Stop that, she was very good at hiding it. There was no way for us to know what she was doing, so you need to stop it. Do you understand me?" Hearing the pain and self hate in her husband's voice caused Sue to become angry. Even if they'd been watching Bella for any signs of what she was doing, there wasn't anything they could have done.

Charlie didn't say anything else, not wanting to add to the stress of the night by fighting with his wife.

Charlie walked up behind his wife and wrapped his arms around her. He felt her stiffen for a second before she relaxed against his chest, letting him wrap his arms around her even tighter.

"You scared the shit out of me Charlie," she yelled at him as she playfully hit his arm.

"I'm sorry, baby," he chuckled softly into her ear.

Seth walked into the kitchen completely unprepared to see what was going on between his parents. "Ugh... that's just gross. Come on Mom. We eat here."

"Oh, stop it Seth. Charlie and I have been married for years. We can show our love and affection toward each other.

"I know that, mom, but a kid doesn't want to see his parents being all lovey dovey toward each other... Especially not when it's your step-dad and mom." The disgust was etched on Seth's face.

Charlie gave Sue another quick kiss before he released her and walked over to Seth. "You're not a kid anymore, Seth. Come on, I walked in on you and Bailey practically going at it on the couch the other night." Charlie smirked after reminding his son of what he saw only three nights ago.

Seth turned red at the reminder of being caught by his step-dad during a particularly heavy make-out session a few days prior. Not wanting to be outed anymore, Seth only nodded and walked back out of the kitchen.

Taking his seat at the table in the kitchen, Charlie asked Sue about his daughter Bella. He hadn't seen much of her since they'd returned from the rehab center. He worried that she still held anger and hurt towards him.

"She went to freshen up after her walk." Sue answered him.

"She left the house?" Charlie was amazed that his daughter ventured out of her room, much less the house. That was something she never used to do. She was such a home body, never one to make her presence known. She didn't know anyone outside of Sue's children, and Jake. The only reason she knew Jake was because he was practically family.

"Yeah, apparently one of the things that her counselor at the rehab center told her to do when she was feeling a little overwhelmed, was to get out of the area that was making her have those feeling. I guess being home for the first time in so long was getting to her, so we took a nice long walk," Sue explained, but seeing the look of concern on Charlie's face, she added, "Don't worry, I made sure she didn't have anything sharp with her when she left."

Relief flooded Charlie at hearing his wife's reassurance. He still wasn't completely sure what all her triggers were -as they called it at the center- But, he knew it had something to do with what happened before she came to live with him all those years ago.

"Well, dinner is almost ready. Do you mind going up and getting all the kids?"

"No problem, baby, I'll head on up and wash up myself.

~~~~TCBS~~~~

Looking at all the women sitting in the waiting room, Esme sighed. None of the ladies would do. They may have fit the physical requirements; they were all very pretty, fair skinned, light eyes, large breasts, and round perky butts, but they were all too headstrong and determined. Any woman that was going to work for her son would have to have a subdued personality.

She thanked all the women who came in and told them that if Mr. Cullen found any of their resumes to his liking she would call them in for an interview with him. Then, as soon as the ladies would walk out of the office she would quickly ditch the resumes of the ladies she knew for a fact would not make it more than a week with Edward. By the end of three hours, she was left with only two resumes.

The first was that of Laura Jameson, she had very good references, the experience and looks that Edward required, hadn't worked in years, so Esme knew she would be a little more willing to put up with almost anything to keep her job, but she made it clear that she wasn't a pushover. Raising four children pretty much proved that to Esme.

The second, was JD Oatis, she was everything Esme was looking for physically and on paper, she had excellent grammar and writing skills, she was beautiful, very soft spoken almost perfect for Edward, almost. The one thing that JD lacked was need and motivation; she was a rising book editor, and worked from home editing stories. She wanted the job to get her out of the house for a while because after spending ten years being a work from home mom, she now had both children in school and wasn't needed as much.

Edward walked into the office after spending the morning visiting a potential new client to see his mother to see his mother, brows furrowed, deep in concentration. Not wanting to startle her too much, he made sure to make his presence known. "Mom?" hearing her son's voice, she looked up and put a forced smile on her face. "What's wrong? Did no one show up for an interview?" he asked her.

"No, Edward, the interviews went well. I had quite a large number of women come in," Esme replied.

"But?" He knew there was more to the story than what his mom was telling him.

Sighing for what felt like the hundredth time that day, Esme explained, "But I only found two that would meet your standards."

This worried Edward a little. He never thought that his mother would have so much trouble finding someone. I mean they didn't have to do that much, so how difficult could it be really?

"I know that look on your face, Edward, and yes, it is harder than you might think. You are a very demanding person and expect perfection." She raised her hand to stop her son from interrupting her thoughts. "I really don't think any of the women that came in today would suffice. I see you getting into one of your fits and the person running out the door in less than a month."

"A month! Is that all you think they can handle of me. I mean come on, am I really that bad mom?" Edward scoffed.

"Edward, you're my son and I love you, but you're a Dom first and foremost. Your dominating personality is always showing itself, even if you aren't with one of your submissives."

Edward let his mother's words' settle into his mind for a moment before saying anything. "I guess I've never noticed it before. Why don't we try something different then?"

"What do you mean? What did you have in mind?" Esme's curiosity was piqued.

"How about instead of looking for a female secretary, you try and see if you can hire a man." He was determined not to let his mother spend anymore unnecessary time in his office. He wanted her to be able to go back to her own office to work. He'd already put enough of an imposition on her as it was.

Thinking her son might be on something, Esme agreed and called the paper to change the ad to specify that they were looking for a man with secretarial experience. She knew that the number of men that did that type of work was limited, but she was willing to try.

Two days later, Esme sat in the reception area with the only four men that answered the ad. Even though there were only four of them, she felt better than she did when she was with a room full of women. She was a lot more hopeful since the requirements were different than those she had to adhere to for the women. Edward still required that they present themselves professionally, but he didn't care what they looked like. For all he cared, they could've been beat with the ugly stick. Esme silently snickered remembering when he made that statement, since it was so unlike him to make a comment like that.

The first man she interviewed was a fat, older balding man, with dark, almost black eyes behind his red horn-rimmed glasses. She quickly discarded him when he spent the majority of the interview staring at her boobs, and not looking at her directly. If he gives me the willys, there is no telling what a potential client will say about him. A cold shiver ran down Esme's back with that thought. Her son would probably have a fit, and the man would last about fifteen seconds before he tossed the guy on his ass.

Next was the former Marine, who even thought he interviewed very well, was attractive, made eye contact, and didn't make Esme feel like a cheap piece of meat. She knew wouldn't last too long either. Edward's strong commanding nature would clash with the former Marine who was tired of taking orders.

Then there was the way too young punk, with his long hair, that looked unkempt and earrings. Those things wouldn't normally bother Esme, or Edward for that matter, were it not for his overall appearance. He looked as if he put on the suit just because of the interview. He hadn't even bothered to iron it.

The final interviewee was Hamilton; a perfect match in her opinion. He wore an obviously tailored charcoal suit, grey, black and white striped tie, and a white button down dress shirt. His hair was slicked back with either gel or hairspray. He spoke somewhat softly but with confidence. He was currently studying to be a lawyer so she felt confident it would be a beneficial learning environment for him as well.

So after finishing the interviews Esme walked into Edward's office- where he'd been hiding out until the meetings were complete- and handed him the resumes for the three people she hoped he would interview himself. She told him who her preference was, but also what each brought to the table. Edward nodded his head and agreed to speak to each of them himself in the next few days.

"I called Alice this morning while you were busy," he hedged a bit, hesitantly. Angling her head to the left, Esme waited for her son to elaborate. "I asked her to see if she could come and work for a few days. I hate that you've spent so much time out of your own office, so she agreed to come and help me until I found a more suitable replacement for Tanya."

Esme appreciated her son's gesture and quickly agreed to return to her own work the next day. She knew that if none of the candidates worked out, at least Alice could put Edward in his place and keep him in line. She then returned to the reception desk to finish typing up the documents Edward dictated the previous day and set up the second interviews.

The following week, Edward interviewed the three people Esme set up for him. While they all qualified in many areas, he was just not comfortable with any of them. He thanked them for coming in, and sent them all on their way. He couldn't figure out what exactly it was about them that he was uncomfortable with, but he was.

After the third interview, Alice walked into Edward's office with that look in her eye. He knew she was about to set him into place, but he wasn't sure for what.

"Edward Anthony Cullen, what in heaven's name was wrong with that one?" she asked him with her hands on her hips.

Breathing deeply to contain his irritation, Edward explained through clenched teeth. "He is a law student, Alice. He doesn't have the time to really dedicate himself to the job. I did offer him a job after he get out."

He tried to give her his dazzling smirk, but it didn't work on her. Scoffing, she informed him that she was going to hire someone on her own, and he would have to shut up and accept it. He tried to argue with her about it being his business, not hers, but she quickly shot him down.

"It might be your business, but it's my time you're fucking with. You know damn well I have shit to do and sitting around here isn't it." With that, she walked back to the front, leaving Edward staring at his office door. He wondered what Alice could be thinking. He was also a little scared of what kind of person she would send his way. Knowing Alice the way he did, it wouldn't be someone he would normally think of hiring.

~~~~~TCBS~~~~~

AN: Last but not least I wanted you all to know that I have chapter 3 written and will be sending it off to the pre-reader and beta this week so hopefully I can dedicate this weekend to review replies from chapter 1 and chapter 2 also I will send you a little tease… Just as a small token of appreciation and apology for my epic fail from before.