Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight or the movie The Secretary. I just wanted to play with the characters and put my own twist to it.
A huge thank you to Ginnie for her pre-reading and suggestions, and to Prettykittyartist for her wonderful beta work. Without her this would be full of run-on sentences and a lack of commas.
I know I promise this to you all a week ago… RL got busy and I didn't get a chance to send it off the pre-reader and beta in time to get this done earlier.
Also I want to thank each and every one of you who are fav/alert/reviewing. I get a giddy little feeling each time I see it in my inbox. Even if I don't always get around to thank you I do appreciate it.
On with the chapter more on the bottom.
~~~TCBS~~~
The weeks passed quickly and, Bella struggled to keep from cutting herself. She would pull out her little cosmetic bag every day and run her fingers over the handles the same way she did her first night home. Everyone was busy with wedding planning and as the weeks passed, the desire to cut herself increased. The day before the wedding was the worst one up to that point. She still hadn't spoken to Jake and she refused to see him whenever he came by the house. Seeing or talking to him would be unavoidable at the wedding. She wasn't sure if she'd forgiven him yet and that made her nervous about how things would go at the wedding.
That night the stress got to be too much for Bella, and she finally broke down in the middle of the night. Grabbing her trusty little black bag, she picked up the Exacto knife and let just the tip of the knife make contact with the inside of her left thigh. She felt the euphoria that came with the sting as the blade broke the skin; that euphoria of having something else to focus her attention on other then the thoughts that plagued her mind at every turn. The sight of the small red drops on her pale flesh caused her breathing to pick up, her face to flush, and her heart to race. She grabbed the black rag that was neatly folded into the inside pocket and wiped the drops from her view she was never comfortable with the site of the blood. Even though she loved the feel of the sting that cutting left behind.
Once everything was cleaned up and put away, Bella felt the need to alleviate the ache at the juncture of her thighs that the cutting had left behind. She didn't quite understand why the cutting made her need another type of release, but she knew that once she had an orgasm, she would finally be able to get some rest, so she let her mind wander. She conjured up memories of the only erotic movie she'd ever seen while she lay down on her bed. Picturing herself as the main actress, she imagined being forced to kneel in front of the delivery man while he pulled his large cock out of his brown work shorts. He pushed the head up to her pursed lips, causing her to open up and allow his member to enter her mouth. She could feel the pull on her hair as the delivery man wove his fingers into it to set the rhythm. By the time the man in her fantasy was moaning in pleasure, her fingers were circling frantically around her clit, causing her writhe and cum on her own fingers. Once her breathing slowed and her body came down from the natural high from the orgasm, she was finally able to drift to sleep.
The next morning she woke up to the frenzy of everyone preparing for the wedding. There were caterers setting up the buffet tables and chafing dishes, party supply employees setting up chairs, tents, and tables, and florists arranging flowers everywhere. Watching everything that was going on around her, Bella wanted to run back to her bedroom and hide underneath the blankets. Her chance of doing just that was cut short by the sound of her sister's voice.
"Bella, there you are. The manicurist is here to do your nails and mom is waiting to do your hair and make-up."
"Yeah, can I just grab something quick to eat first?" Bella's stomach grumbled right at that moment, indicating exactly how hungry she really was.
Leah chuckled at the noises her sister's body made and walked back up the stairs, allowing Bella to continue on to the kitchen to grab something to eat. She quickly inhaled a bagel with cream cheese and a coffee, and then made her way back up to Leah's room where all the women were gathered.
As Sue worked on blow drying and styling her long tresses into a loose updo, the manicurist painted her long nails in a French manicure style.
Once everyone was made up and pretty, Sue ushered everyone out of the room to get dressed. Bella sat in her room just staring at the dress in front of her, her little cosmetic bag in hand. Can I do this? Do I want to do this? Am I strong enough to do the right thing? All those questions played on a loop over and over in her mind.
She must have sat there longer then she thought because soon, Sue knocked on her door. Her face showed her disappointment in Bella's lack of proper attire.
"Is there something wrong with the dress? I thought you went to the fitting when you got back." Sue asked. She was frantic. There was less than a half an hour before the family and bridal pictures were supposed to be taken.
Bella felt guilty that she let her thoughts get away from her, especially seeing how frazzled her step-mom was getting.
"No. No, everything is fine. I was just sitting here thinking about how I'm going to see Jake again after so long. I don't know how I can look him in the eye again, how I let so much hold me back for so long, or why I couldn't just let the anger go sooner. Do you think he'll forgive me?"
"Awe, Bella, baby, Jake loves you, he's always loved you. All he cares about is that you forgive him and that you are there." Sue sat next to Bella, patting her hand lovingly and tried to assure her daughter, hoping that her words would sink in.
Bella gave Sue a weak smile and then got up from the bed and quickly put on her dress to finish getting ready.
When Bella was dressed, Sue hugged her once more and then headed out to check on Leah and Emily.
~~~TCBS~~~
All the pre-wedding pictures and gifts were done and they were now ready to walk down the aisle. The music began and Emily walked in first. Bella looked around as she waited for her turn to head for the alter. Finally, she was given the go ahead and took a tentative step. When she looked up, she saw a happy smile on Jake's face that seemed to brighten when he saw her. Her own smile grew and her steps grew in confidence as she made her way down the path toward him.
She clutched her bouquet of red lilies closely as she walked up next to Jake, whispering a very emotional, "I'm Sorry."
"It's okay, B, thanks for forgiving me, and for being here," he replied, equally as quiet. He was so happy that his best friend was able to put her anger and hurt aside and stand next to him on his wedding day.
After giving Bella a hug, Jake turned his attention back toward the other end of the aisle to await the love of his life. His breath caught in his chest as he looked upon her in a white Empire waist sweetheart dress, her hair styled in a messy updo, and a bouquet of some of the brightest red roses he'd ever seen.
Bella beamed brighter with the look on her best friend's face. She loved Jake dearly, and to see that look of complete bliss on his face made her feel as if she made the right choice. Bella knew that if she still wasn't over her feelings of betrayal, Leah would have found someone to replace her in the wedding and would not have made her come, but now Bella was glad that she made the choice that she'd made.
The rest of the ceremony passed pretty quickly without much of Bella's notice, but then again, she wasn't really even paying attention to what was happening in front of her. Her mind was focused on getting out of the dress that was completely out of her norm to wear. The orange sleeveless dress really wasn't that bad, but the fact that it was knee length and had no sleeves made Bella very self conscious. She was afraid that some of her scars would be visible. When she first started cutting, the lines were crude, jagged, and anywhere she could reach, unlike now where she could put them in non-visible locations. The most dramatic one was just above the hem line of the dress- that being her first cut ever. Since she was such a clumsy kid, no one ever suspected that it was a self-induced injury. Lost in her thoughts and memories, Bella almost missed her cue to follow her sister and new brother away from the alter.
The reception was in full swing, but all Bella could think about was her little black bag; the sight of so many people around was making her nervous. She felt the urge to relieve the tension. She was still daydreaming about the bag when someone walked up behind her, unnoticed, Bella didn't notice when someone walked up behind her. The Mans' arms wound themselves around her waist, making her tense.
Unbeknownst to the gentleman holding her, she began to panic- flashes of her past, of a different pair of arms winding themselves around her, arms that that she never welcomed around her waist.
"You're not pretty enough to be dressed in a dress like this, your body doesn't even fit it properly," he sneered in her ear, all the while rubbing his disgusting erection against her ass.
His fingers travel down and cup her private areas. They were alone on the patio and that was the only reason he was taking the chance to touch her this way. He wanted to possess her body, to feel her and hear her screaming as he finally took her innocence. She knew this, he told her often about the vial things he wanted to do to her.
"Bella! Bella! Please, baby, please come back to us."
Bella heard the desperate cries of her father, but she couldn't calm herself enough to let go of the memories. The images continued to flash through her head; seeing him touch her, hearing hearing him tell her how much she sucked at being a human being and how stupid and worthless she was. That was all that would register in her mind, not the cries of her family who were trying to help her. She couldn't hear the words of apology from her best friend, or the fact that he just wanted to hug her and thank her for being there for him, getting help when she needed it and how proud he was of her for her strength.
No, none of that would bring her back. It all stayed the same until she felt the prick on her arm- that was followed by darkness.
~~~TCBS~~~
Day after day, Alice looked for the perfect secretary for Edward, anywhere she could find someone. She looked at the girl in the checkout lane at the grocery story, or the young man behind the desk at her gym. The one place she didn't look was at the people who continued to come in from Esme's ad. All those who answered it would never work for Edward, they were too strong willed, greedy, and not needy enough.
Alice felt like she was getting nowhere after five weeks of doing the same thing. She finally made a phone call that she'd hoped she would never have to make. She picked up the phone, hoping that her old friend would be able to recommend someone without severe issues.
"Thank you for calling Midnight Sun Rehabilitation Center, this is Ms. Cope, how may I help you?" Alice's mentors sweet voice answered.
"Ms. Cope, it's Alice Whitlock. How are you?" Ms. Cope smiled at hearing Alice's' voice after such a long time.
"Oh, Alice honey, how are you doing? And how can I help you?"
"I'm good, I was calling to see if you could help me with something."
"Anything, my dear."
"Well, a friend of mine is in need of a secretary. I've been trying to help him, but none of the applicants I've seen are right for him." Alice wondered if Ms. Cope was picking up on the silent meaning in the description.
"Alice, who is this for?" Alice could hear the true question in Ms. Cope's carefully worded phrase.
Sighing, Alice answered, "It's for Edward Cullen. Why, does it matter?"
Before Ms. Cope replied, she thought over what she knew of Edward Cullen in the recent months. "Is he still without a submissive?" Ms. Cope was Alice's mentor, and a long time pillar in the lifestyle and community.
"As far as I know. He claims to want to stay away from anything to do with the lifestyle for a while. Jane really did a number on him when she left." Alice's voice was a bit sad for her friend and former mentee.
"Hmmm, I think I might have the perfect person for him, but I warn you Alice, this girl has really been through a lot in her life. He needs to tread carefully with the way he talks to her. We both know how brash he can be." Ms. Cope thought Isabella would be perfect for Edward. She hoped that if he treated her correctly, he might actually be exactly what she needed.
"Really? Are you sure about this because I don't know if he can handle being led astray again." Alice knew that Ms. Cope was talking about more than just a secretary for Edward. She picked it up in Ms. Copes voice; after all the years they'd known each other it was impossible not to.
"Trust me, Alice, Isabella is perfect for Edward. I think she will be harder on herself than anyone can be on her, but she still needs to be treated delicately." The warning was clear in her voice.
Ms. Cope and Alice spoke for a little longer, discussing the details on when Isabella should be sent over to meet with Edward. They also caught up on when the next party was going to be hosted and whose home or club it would be hosted at.
Edward walked into the office and saw Alice on the phone, chatting up about some parties going on, so he quickly made his way past her to his own office, not wanting to listen in to the conversation.
Edward's head was down as if he was looking at some papers when Alice walked into the office. "I've got someone for you to meet later this week," Alice told him, not really looking up at him.
Sighing heavily, Edward explained, "Alice I told you I don't want to meet another sub right now. I am going to leave the lifestyle alone for a little bit."
Alice scoffed before explaining, "I am not looking for a new submissive for you, Edward, I'm trying to find you a new secretary. I called a friend of mine and she recommended someone. She's coming in next week."
Edward sighed in relief and got all the details from Alice. He quickly went back to working on the papers in front of him, and dismissed Alice from his presence.
Before Alice left, she stopped and decided to inform Edward about what Mrs. Cope told her, "You need to make sure you're not a douche to this girl, Edward because there is no other way to find you a suitable secretary if this one quits."
Completely dismissing what Alice said, Edward went back to working on the papers he would need for court the next day. After a few hours Edward, noticed that the office was completely silent; no trace of Alice, and the phone hadn't rung in a while. He looked up, thinking that maybe he completely missed that it was past work hours. He was surprised to see that the clock only registered three in the afternoon. Edward got up to investigate why it was so quiet, only to find the front desk empty, and the phone off the hook. Anger welled up inside him, how dare Alice abandon the office this way, he seethed.
Picking up his cell, he quickly dialed Alice's cell phone. "Where the hell are you?" He asked before she could even say hello.
"Edward, I'm sorry, but there was an emergency and I had to leave." Alice's voice hinted at how sorry she really was, but she was too focused on what needed to be done to care.
Edward knew that he was borrowing Alice- for all intent and purposes- and couldn't really chastise her if she needed to leave to do something for her own job, so all he said was, "could you at least let me know you're leaving next time."
"Yeah, Edward, I will... but I really need to go now. I'm so sorry," Alice stated before hanging the phone up.
Edward decided to just close up for the day and go home, knowing that he wouldn't be able to work in his office without knowing what could be going on in the front if he was busy in his own office.
After warming up a frozen dinner- since Edward didn't really feel like cooking a whole meal just for himself- he sat staring, at the key to the playroom, flashbacks of the last time he'd been in there playing in his head.
"You like how hard I fuck your little mouth, don't you my pet," Edward panted between clenched teeth.
Jane couldn't answer. Besides, she knew he didn't want her to answer. Edward required complete silence from his submissives; he didn't want to hear them unless he commanded them to speak. Jane knew he preferred hearing the sounds of his own panting, or the sound of skin slapping against skin when he fucked them. She admitted that it was so much more arousing to hear his sounds then her own.
"You're doing so well my pet, look how you swallow all of what I give you. Now, don't spill a drop," he snickered as he emptied himself into Jane's mouth. When she first became his sub, she'd gag each time he came down her throat, so she was doing so much better now.
Jane swallowed the mouth full of cum her master gave her, grimacing internally. She hated the taste of hot cum; her body revolted at having to swallow something that was the same temperature as her own body. After swallowing, she ran her tongue around the head to make sure she'd picked up each and every drop, and then sat back into her waiting position.
Edward could tell something was bothering Jane; she hadn't been as enthusiastic as she'd been for previous encounters. Hoping that it was something temporary, Edward continued on with the playtime. He would make sure to address what was wrong after they were done. Besides, if something was really wrong, he knew she would safe word.
Edward was taken out of his memories by the chirp of his cell phone, advising him of a new text message.
I need to see you tonight- Alice
Curious, Edward quickly replied.
At home, what's up? come on over- Ed
Alice's response was just as fast.
On my way, we will talk when I arrive- Alice
Edward went to wait for Alice in the living room, trying to dispel the memories that begged to come to the forefront of his mind.
Alice was frazzled from what she'd seen that day. She knew that Bella would be perfect for Edward, but she really needed to warn Edward about how careful his words had to be toward her. It took Alice almost an hour to bring Bella out of her panic attack, even with the shot of Diazepam that she'd been given before Alice arrived.
Alice had just returned to the reception desk when her phone started to go off. Seeing Mrs. Cope's number just after she'd hung up with her made her a bit nervous. Alice quickly answered the phone, "Ms. Cope, what's going on?"
"Oh, Alice dear, I'm stuck at the center and I just received a panicked phone call from Isabella's family. I thought since she will be working with Edward, you can meet her first and see what I am talking about," Ms. Cope explained with worry lacing her tone.
"Ms. Cope, you know I don't see patients anymore. I quit once Jasper and I got married."
"Please, Alice, I'm really worried. Bella hasn't had an incident since she first arrived here. I'm really worried about what she might do once she comes out of this episode."
"Okay, Mrs. Cope, I will see what I can do. Where do I need to go, and what other information do I need to have about Isabella." Alice resigned herself to help the girl, especially if she would be working with Edward in the near future.
"Alice, Isabella just left the program six weeks ago. She's a cutter, so look for signs of self-induced injury. When she left she, claimed to not have any more desire, but I don't know if she's still feeling that way. Also, she's got a tough story, but I can't divulge any more about it. Her parents tell me she experienced a severe panic attack when her best friend hugged her. It was his wedding to her step-sister. Alice, her father said they can't get her to wake up and they had to give her a shot. I'm really worried about her -she's one of my favorites." Mrs. Cope updated Alice on what she knew. The emotions she was trying to hold back came out in the softness of her speech.
Alice took down all the information that Mrs. Cope gave her, including Isabella's address, and quickly ran out of the office. She was worried that she wouldn't be much help, considering it'd been about five years since Alice saw a patient.
Alice pulled up in Edward's driveway and quickly let herself into the house. She noticed him sitting, waiting for her in the living room, and quickly made her way over toward him. "Hey."
"Oh, hey, Alice..." Edward trailed off, seeing the look on Alice's face. The stress was clearly written all over her face. Edward instantly worried that something had happened to Jasper. "Alice, is everything okay with Jasper?"
Waving her hand dismissively, Alice answered, "Yeah, Jazz is fine. I was actually seeing a patient."
Edward was completely shocked at what he heard. Alice hadn't been a counselor in years. "A patient, Alice?"
"Yeah, Mrs. Cope called me with an emergency and I couldn't ignore her need." Alice didn't elaborate further, knowing that it really wasn't much of Edward's concern as to why she did what she did.
Seeing the strict face Alice shot him, Edward quickly dropped the conversation and directed it toward why Alice was visiting him at home instead of waiting until the next day at the office.
"Edward, Isabella is coming in to meet you tomorrow instead of next week, but before she does, there are a few things you should be aware of," Alice explained.
"Okay... Like what?" Edward asked in a skeptical voice.
"Well, first of all, the way you need to treat her will have to be stern and direct. Bring your Dominant personality out with her, but never say anything derogatory or rude. Be friendly and cordial with her whenever you can; She is soft spoken, so try and get her to come out of her shell a bit. But please, whatever you do, Do. Not. Ever. sneak up on her." Alice made sure to emphasize the last part of her instructions.
Edward nodded his head, but wondered why Alice was giving him all these instructions, so he asked, "Why the emphasis on all this?"
"The patient I went to see today, Edward, is Isabella. She had a severe panic attack caused by a flashback. Even though she is going to be perfect for you, I don't want to get a call from you later if she happens to have one. It's kind of a forewarning of sorts." Alice easily explained.
Edward took in everything that Alice just explained to him, and wondered if it was really worth it to have someone working for him that he wasn't sure he could handle.
Reading his face, Alice quickly added, "Edward, trust me when I say she is perfect for you and for this office. She knows what she is doing, is probably going to be harder on herself then you could ever be, and she's just the type of personality you need around you. Oh, and Edward, don't worry too much about the way she dresses, I will do something about it."
Edward smiled seeing Alice's face light up with her last comment. They'd known each other too many years for Edward not to enjoy seeing his friend so happy.
Alice bid her goodbye to Edward, promised him that she would be in the office the next day to do the introductions between him and Isabella, and promptly left to see Jasper.
Edward sat in his lounge chair for a few minutes before heading up to bed himself. All that Alice had told him played over in his mind. Tomorrow would be an interesting day, and Isabella sounded like an intriguing woman.
~~~TCBS~~~
AN: Just so you know, I have most of the next chapter written but it might be a few weeks before I get it posted. I am going to try and work on it this week and have off to the pre-reader and beta as quickly as possible. Oh and just so you know Edward and Bella will finally meet next chapter… That is for you impatient readers who want them together at last…lol (looking at Ginnie ;))
I have a question for you all… Would you rather have longer chapters with more of a wait time to post or shorter chapters closer together? I don't have anymore pre-written chapters so it will take a little longer for long chapters. Let me know what you would prefer and I will go with the most popular choice.
Also I have a couple of OS's to do in the next few weeks one is for breath-of-twilight Countdown to 2012. There are a lot of great stories already posted on there for the Halloween part of it. I am writing for the Christmas part of it, so if you can go check out the stories I suggest it.
Then over at TFA we are going to be doing a secret Santa OS, if you want to sign up for it check out the FB group Twilight Fanfiction Advocacy or our blog… tfadvocacy (.) blogspot (.) com (take out the parenthesis and spaces) for details on it.
I think that is it for now… I look forward to hearing what you all think of this chapter and of the story. Thanks have a great week.
Love OOEG