A/N: Sorry if Nudge is OOC in the beginning. I do not own Maximum Ride, Harry Potter or Forever 21. Spoilers for Prisoner of Azkaban and Order of the Phoenix.
"We're going to the mall!" Nudge said. I looked up from the TV. Fang and Iggy were watching (or listening) mindlessly too, barely aware that the screen was blaring. Iggy was listening half-heartedly to a jingle about pizza. Fang had one arm around me, and I was waiting for the Harry Potter marathon to come on.
I looked at Nudge with stinging eyes watering from the screen. "Why do you think that?" I asked her.
She giggled maniacally. She held up Fang's laptop, my only decent hoodie, and Iggy's iPod. In one hand she had a lighter. She grinned wider. Nudge can be serial killer creepy when she wants new clothes.
"She has your iPod and a lighter," I whispered to Iggy. He tensed, like a tiger ready to pounce. I gulped.
"Hey, I guess we are going to the mall," I laughed weakly. She smiled charmingly and put the lighter away. I really needed to break these kids out of their blackmailing habits.
I jumped to my knees, gave everyone back their belongings, and turned back to Nudge. "Anyone other than me you want to take?" She motioned to the boys who were still on the couch making sure their precious electronics were okay.
"Guys," I said. "You're coming too." They groaned but followed me, scared for their possessions.
Half an hour later, we all landed softly at the mall, folding our wings in again. We walked in the front door and stood around awkwardly. "FOREVER 21!" Nudge shrieked. It strange she shopped there, since she was nowhere near twenty-one, but we all followed her in anyway.
She picked up this frilly pile of pink, and a bunch of limp clothes. She stacked on a belt, a shapeless hat, and flats. I stood patiently outside while she tried everything on. "I want to go to Sears," Iggy announced randomly while we were checking out. I looked at him weirdly then agreed.
I paid for Nudge's clothes and we headed over to Sears. Iggy picked seemingly innocent items: two alarm clocks, a radio, a small lighter, and a toaster. He could make an explosion or a big fire with every one of those things. I was pretty sure he really needed the toaster, because he had been complaining for a while about how Mom's toasted more on one side than on the other. I sighed and paid, because arguably he wasn't buying anything for evil purposes. But I knew better.
"Anyone else?" I asked. No one answered. I headed over to buy food. I let everyone pick, so we ended up with waffles, bacon, fish sticks, five tubs of ice cream, frozen pizza, juice boxes, and pop tarts. I have to admit I picked quite a few of those. I paid again with my magical bottomless Max card.
We left the mall heavier, carrying bags of purchases. Fang hadn't asked for anything. We arrived home, and as I opened the door I heard an explosion.
"GAZZY!" Iggy yelled. "I told you to wait for me before making that bombs! He felt around the mangled remains of pieces of the TV's remote and random alarms clocks. "Did you connect the gold wires with the A/C adaptor and the power source?"
"Yes?" Gazzy said guiltily. Iggy frowned. "You need an insulator for the wires, and the A/C transformer has to take the current the other way, or else the batteries fry and blow up the wires connecting it to the timer."
As you could guess, I understood nothing of that whole speech. All I knew was that we definitely had no TV remote anymore. "Clean it up," I told Gazzy, putting away the groceries in the fridge.
I finished and plopped back onto the couch, turning the TV on just in time to catch the middle of Prisoner of Azkaban. I heard two sounds on either side of me, and without looking I knew Iggy and Fang had sat next to me. Fang pulled me closer to him with one arm and I leaned my head back onto his chest.
We watched for a second. "What does Sirius look like?" Iggy asked. I looked at him. "He has long, wavy brown hair, and a mustache," I said.
Iggy nodded. I admit, I wasn't a poet, but I did my best. Angel suddenly bounded in and jumped on the couch, separating me from Fang. She sat on my lap as we watched Harry walk through infinite hallways. "When does he die?" Angel asked me.
"You just ruined the movie!" Iggy said. Angel rolled her eyes, having read my mind and known he would die. Iggy stormed off and Angel took his place.
"There, now you can sit with Fang," Angel said. I wasn't sure whether to say thank you or not. I turned my attention back to TV. They were finally, finally going in to the Shack-
"Dinner!" Mom shouted across the house. I looked for the remote to turn the TV off, then I remembered it was part of the now ruined bomb Gazzy had made. I walked up to the TV and pressed the power button. I went over to the table to see the flock and Ella already there.
I sat down. We were having spicy Mexican food, in bird-kid quantities. Pure bliss. I served myself a pile of beans and six overstuffed tacos and started chomping my way through dinner happily.
"So, what did you do today?" Mom asked.
"Went to the mall!" Nudge squealed.
"As hostages," Fang muttered.
"Got my best prototype blown up," Iggy added bitterly.
"Sorry," Gazzy said.
"Watched a movie," Angel announced happily.
Everyone turned to me. I thought about my day. "All of the above," I answered. "Except for the prototype thing."
Everyone nodded through scary mouthfuls of food. We all smiled, a good day. When I finally went to bed, I wanted to just sleep and relax. Those words just aren't part of my vocabulary. Fang was in his room, but I hadn't seen the flock in a while. I decided to go look for them, when Angel appeared.
"I had a vision," she said quietly. I looked at her, concerned. "What was it, sweetie?"
She looked up at me solemnly. "I see…in the near future…water." Before I had time to think, the flock popped up with water guns.
They all sprayed me at the same time as I ran for cover into the bathroom. I closed the door, and tried to hold it close while finding the lock to keep them out.
Fang forced the door open, and came in. He helped me lock the door. I opened the shower curtain. We had one of those shower heads that detached. I nodded at him and took it off the hook. I got close to the door while he got ready to turn on the water.
I yanked the door open and the flock was blasted with freezing water. They shrieked and screamed, dropping their water guns. Fang turned off the water.
Mom popped up right then. Bad timing. The floor was soaked and so were we. She started screaming. "MAX! FANG!"
"But—" I started. She wasn't done. "IGGY GAZZY NUDGE ANGEL! GO TO YOUR ROOMS NOW, ALL OF YOU!"
We scampered away, and as I closed my door, I noticed Fang was in there with me. I hated when he snuck up on me. "You heard her, go to your room," I muttered.
"Nope," he said, and plopped onto my bed. Well, two could play at that game. I ran out, and got into Fang's bed. He didn't follow me. Whatever.
I woke up the next morning in a place I didn't recognize. What? Where? It was Fang's room. He was sleeping next to me, breathing regularly. Stubborn Fang. Well, I might as well go back to sleep now, I thought. I buried my face back into Fang's pillow, now mine, and tried for a little more sleep. If only.
"Morning," Fang muttered. I made a sound somewhere between a moan and a howl, so he assumed I didn't want to be bothered. Wise choice. He just hugged me closer, and I tried going back to sleep against Fang's warmth. But no.
Gazzy and Nudge burst into the room. "EW!" Gazzy screamed. Nudge's eyes widened and she almost dropped the camera. The camera? "DELETE THAT!" I shrieked.
I didn't want anyone getting ideas. She just giggled. "I'm sure this will interest your mom," she said slyly.
"How much?" I asked. "Sixty bucks," Nudge chirped. She turned towards Gazzy and told him they'd split fifty-fifty.
"Fine," I groaned. "Just let me sleep."
"With Fang," Nudge added. She was way overdoing it, but I'm really not that vengeful in the morning. Gazzy still looked freaked out, his mouth was forming the word "ew" over and over again, but no sound came out.
Just to freak them out some more, Fang pecked my once on the lips. They left the room quickly, obviously not wanting to see any more.
Finally, I could sleep. I would deal with life later.