A/N Yes, I am alive, and here is the sixth chapter. Many thanks to all who supported. It means a lot to me.

And Kyla, thank you so much for everything. You are the best.

Fenris

Fenris didn't know. He didn't know why he agreed to do these lessons. He didn't know why learning to read was harder than he imagined. He didn't know why he was sweating all the time or why it felt warmer near her. He also didn't know how she could smell that divine.

More than anything, though, he didn't know why he was happy. Like a fool. Maybe it was the weather. Maybe he was really sick. Or maybe it was that damned dress. His face was burning all the time, and all he was doing was focusing on a word like "wardrobe". He must be looking like an idiot.

"Again with the puppy eyes," his teacher said as though nothing could be worse."Fenris, you are on your fourth day of reading. It's only natural to do mistakes."

Her sweet voice. Always caring, always near.

His only answer was an animalistic groan.

Bethany smiled and read the sentence from the beginning.. As all he focused was her lips.

She is a mage.

His brain was warning him. For the twelfth time this day.

"Fenris?" she was looking at him.

"Wardrobe," was the only reply he came up with. It felt convenient at first. Then she started laughing.

"I think that's enough for today."

Just when he did become an idiot?

Fenris hated mornings. When he was a slave, he had to wake up before sun arose, go to Danarius' room and wait for him to wake up. Danarius was never an early riser, but he wanted his wolf to be at his side every single morning. That bastard had always emerged from bed early to urinate to the pot positioned near Fenris and looked at him to find any sign of displeasure. Control was his only shield back then. His master would give him that filthy grin and go back to bed afterwards.

After his escape, mornings became his unique sleeping time. As a way of compensating for his old days, Fenris would not be awake before sun set, unless, of course, Hawke required his assistance. That was before Bethany came to the mansion. For whatever reason, the duty of protecting her was stimulating his guardian instincts. However, it wasn't the same with her. While protecting Danarius, he didn't care if his master was injured, bleeding to death or simply died. That was no longer the case. Since the reading lessons started, every morning, he had woken early to secretly go to her room and listen to her breathing. He couldn't dare to move or to blink as the first hint of dawn filtered into the room and her sleeping form appeared. He listened to her soft breaths until bright light streamed through the window. Why was he doing this was another mystery to him, yet he continued anyway. When he heard her waking, he would sneak out and return to his room. Then, he would be all ears as Bethany's laughing voice filled the house as she prepared breakfast.

This day didn't seem different at first. Another sleepless night. Another early rise. Another covert venture to her room. He couldn't see her as she was sleeping face-down. Her breathing became uneven, and involuntarily he turned to leave. He was closing the door when a voice interrupted him;

"Look who is up," the insufferable elf said cheerily, "I'm glad you finally showed your face, my friend, but you choose a very interesting time and very intriguing place to appear."

Fenris grabbed the elf and brought him downstairs after he controlled his urge to take his heart out. On the other hand, Alfredo was laughing.

"Fenris, my dear friend. You are, ah what was the word, let me think," he said as he started pacing, "Doomed?" he looked at him for approval, "No, it must hold more meaning" he returned his thinking "Screwed?" the headache asked to himself. "No, I can do better," he said. Then suddenly he whirled to him,

"I found it! You are in the soup, my friend."

Not just killing. Torturing first. Then slowly killing.

"You know what? In Antiva, I had a friend just like you. His name was Francisco. He was a good fellow, but he had a thing against lemon. He believed that a dessert is better without lemon. Can you believe it? Anyhow, one day, I made him a carrot cake with walnut and lemon peels in it. He said that was the best thing he had ever eaten. Then, when I informed him about the lemon, he couldn't believe it and refused to eat the cake afterwards. Then I met the mage and agreed to work for him, which leaded me out of Antiva. A year later, I got a letter from Francisco saying that all he could think of was the cake, and he did not want the recipe because, he wrote, 'I don't deserve that cake.' I was sending him the recipe anyway when I got eight legs and… you know the rest of the story. You see, without lemon a desert is simple, but with lemon, it is pure happiness." Fenris was losing his patience, yet Alfredo continued, "without lemon, summers are pointless, ice cream is lonely, the feeling is insufficient, With lemon, however, the taste becomes divine."

What he had done to deserve this?

"Without lemon, life is dull, mi amigo, and rejecting to eat a cake simply because it includes lemon is idiocy beyond measures," Alfredo said. " Lemon is not a flaw, it completes the cake."

Fenris was going to hit him before he heard familiar footsteps approaching.

"Good morning," Bethany said cheerily, "Fenris, you finally joined us! Alfredo, what are we doing for this occasion?"

"I think my special carrot cake recipe would suffice, my bella." he said while winking at Fenris.

"I think that won't be necessary." Fenris said as he turned to go to his room. Then a hand grabbed his wrist. He felt his markings activate, yet the hand was still holding him. Still glowing, he slowly turned to the hand's owner, "What are you doing?"

"I want you to join us for breakfast," she simply stated. Her eyes was fixed on his, waiting for an answer. Interestingly, "wardrobe" seemed better of an answer than the empty groans sounding in his head now. Before he could say anything, his body did the bidding as his stomach gave one of the strangest sounds in his lifetime. Bethany smiled at him, and he cursed under his breath as she dragged him to kitchen.

This day didn't seem different at first, then Bethany started singing.

As days passed by, the lessons continued. He started to read without Bethany's help, which was an accomplishment since his brain wasn't at its best these days. Bethany was a patient teacher, however. In face of every grumble, she would smile and correct his mistakes without any sign of frustration. On their fifteenth lesson she gave him the green book she wanted him to read at the beginning, "There is nothing more I can teach you," she said, "You are a great student. I didn't think we could finish before Garret's return, but you proved me wrong."

Hawke's return. How could he have forgotten? It had been over thirty days since Bethany had arrived. Hawke must be on the road back to Kirkwall.

She was going to leave.

And everything would go back to normal. He would not have to protect her or wake up early or have breakfast with that headache. Finally, he would be at ease. He would be…

Alone.

"We should celebrate this," he heard her saying. "Alfredo may prepare something for dinner."

"I know a better option," he said, "Wait for me here."

He went to the cellar and took one of the wines he was saving. He was returning to the room when he heard a voice,

"Aggregio, hmm. I was wondering when you will drink that divine thing." the headache said. "What are we celebrating?"

The elf had a talent to try his patience on daily basis. However, Fenris didn't want to play his game anymore.

"I can…read now" he simply said.

"That's a great thing, my friend! Congratulations."

Fenris felt his face redden.

"Then, tell her I was sleeping." Alfredo said, "And enjoy you evening, mi amigo."

Fenris stood speechless as the elf walked away. Maybe he wasn't that insufferable after all.

Bethany was making a fire when he finally entered the room. He felt her magic through his markings. When he cleared his throat, she immediately ended her spell.

"I am sorry."

She seemed scared. Still, after all this time. This must be his talent.

"No need." he said, "the headac…Alfredo was sleeping," he opened the wine, "Last bottle of the Aggregio. I have been saving it for special occasion. "

Then they started drinking. It had a strong taste which caused Bethany to become red in seconds. They remained silent while watching the fire. Bethany spoke first.

"You never told me how you escaped from Danarius."

It was inevitable, wasn't it?

"You never asked." he said with a hope of drifting away.

"I didn't think you would share that with me."

You are the only person I can share anything, he thought, yet he didn't speak those words. Instead, he simply said, "It is a long story."

"It is a long night." she countered with a smile. He chuckled at that.

Then he told her about Seheron and the Qunari fight. He told her how he managed to save Danarius and how he got left behind in the end. And then came the hard part;

"There were rebels in Seheron's jungle called the Fog Warriors. They found me and took me in. Nursed me back to health. With time, I grew fond of the rebels. They bow to no master and fought for their freedom. It was beyond my experience. I stayed with them until Danarius finally came for me."

He took a deep breath.

She is going to hate me, he thought. He continued anyway.

"When Danarius came, they refuse to let him take me. He ordered me to kill them, so I did." His vision became blurred. Their faces swam in his mind's eye. "I killed them all."

Silence was his punishment. He couldn't look at her , and all he could hear was the crackling fire.

"You were a slave. It wasn't your choice."

He looked at her, then. Her knees pulled up to her chest and she rested her chin on them. Her expression was unreadable. He felt his blood rising;

"I should have fought for them. I should have been stronger. It was my fault. I was…I am a monster."

A tear rolled down her cheek. But why was she crying?

"Carver died because of me." she finally said, her voice cracking."I was born to be a healer, yet I couldn't cast even the simplest healing spell. I should have worked harder. I should have been stronger. My brother was brutally killed before my eyes, and all I could do was watching." She was looking at him now, "You can't be monster, you see. If you are, what that would make me?"

The sorrow in her eyes…Could words have power enough to erase it?

"You are not a monster," he managed to say.

Bethany turned to fire as she dashed away her tears. He barely heard her whisper above the snapping of the fire.

"Neither are you."

Control was his only hope as all he wanted to do was to kiss her.