AN: Thanks always to Cecile for her prereading awesomeness... Also thanks to Ginnie (so happy your back bb) for being my second prereader. This chapter is not beta'd as my poor J'me is ill and was unable to get to this. So all errors are mine.
I also want to thank everyone who takes the time to rec, review, alert or fav this story. If you see it rec'd somewhere please let me know where so I can thank the appropriate people. Thank you again. I am humbled by your response to this story.
I know I am a week late with this but I have a very good excuse. I got the flu and didn't touch my computer for two weeks. So even though many of you got your teasers weeks ago, I just didn't have the energy to get this done earlier.
Disclaimer: I dont own Twilight or Secretary I just own the plot bunny that manifested itself and decided that I should combine the two.
I hope you all enjoy!
****TCBS***
Edward was livid at what he'd just heard Isabella tell him. How could someone be so sick and disgusting to go into a child's bed at night with nefarious intentions? Then, to sit back and make the child feel like she was worthless, especially at such a young age. He knew enough about human development to know that what a child experienced during adolescence could affect them throughout the rest of their lives. It was no wonder that Isabella had turned to self-mutilation when she failed to learn the proper way to escape her emotional hell. It was also a great indicator of why she could speak of her past, but show no emotional reaction outwardly. He now understood Charlie's need to call and check on Isabella's behavior. He could plainly see with his own eyes that she checked out emotionally when having to deal with her past. He'd seen it before to an extent but not to what he was currently witnessing.
The other thing that caught his attention was the fact that Isabella's hand was slightly twitching and her fingers were digging into her own skin. "Isabella, stop that."
"Stop what, Mr. Cullen?" Bella couldn't understand what it was that he was asking her to stop doing since she wasn't doing anything but sitting in his office at the moment.
"Stop digging your nails into your palms," he explained.
Bella looked down at her hands not even realizing that she'd balled them so tightly. Slowly releasing her fingers she looked up at Edward.
There was grief and pleading in Isabella's eyes that Edward had never seen before. She was begging him to not make her stop. To let her release the pain she was feeling deep down in the recesses of her mind. Even though he knew she wasn't really ready for the next part of their relationship, he knew he could give her something to allow that emotional release.
"Get up and stand by the desk Isabella," he ordered.
Doing as he asked Bella went and stood in front of Edward's desk. She wondered what it could be that he'd want her to do at his desk if he was still standing behind her.
"Put your hands on the desk and bend until your elbows rest flat on the edge." Again Bella did as he asked quickly. The position left her bent over with her ass straight in his direction.
"Now, hold still and repeat these words over and over until I tell you to stop." Bella went to look over her shoulder to find out what it was he was doing behind her when he yelled, "Eyes forward, Isabella. And repeat... I am beautiful, I am smart, and I am worth it."
Bella scuffed and all that provided was to anger Edward some more. "I said "repeat"! Now start!"
"I am beautiful," A hard hand slapped across Bella's left buttocks, making her slide forward slightly. She quickly adjusted herself again and continued. "I am smart." Another slap this one on her right cheek. "I am worth it." The spanks alternated with each phrase she repeated. She must have repeated herself at least three times before the shock of what was happening wore off and she began to feel the ache of need grow in her belly.
Seeing Isabella bent over his desk that way, hearing her quiet moans -that he didn't think she even knew she was releasing them- was making Edward painfully hard, but this wasn't about his need right now, it was about hers. He would worry about relieving himself after she left. The moment he was able to smell her arousal, he knew it was time to stop. He wouldn't be able to hold himself back if he felt her moisture against his hand.
Edward stepped away from Isabella. "You may stand up now Isabella. Before you leave, I want you to tell me how you feel."
"Um... relieved?" Bella questioned. She wasn't sure what answer Mr. Cullen was looking for. She just knew that her normal need, itch to cause herself for pain- to cut- was not present. She was also relishing in the ache that presented itself on her posterior. The only thing she was disappointed with was that now she'd have to go to the bathroom and relieve the desire between her legs.
"Are you asking me or are you telling me?" Edward teased good naturedly. He was ready for Isabella to leave his office so he could take care of the problem that spanking her had caused him. But first, he wanted to make sure that she was going to be able to refocus on the tasks that were waiting her.
"No, I'm telling you. Thank you Sir, you don't understand how much I needed that." Bella blushed furiously and refused to look up at him.
"You're welcome Isabella, and believe me I understand completely. Go type up the letters I dictated and then take the rest of the day off." By assigning Bella to do some work before she left, he was making sure that her head was clear of any bad thought and she wouldn't be tempted to do something that could cause her harm on the way home.
No sooner was Isabella out of his office, Edward walked to the en-suite bathroom to take control of his raging hard-on. Edward imagined what Isabella would look like bent over his desk naked, red-assed, wearing only a blind fold, handcuffs and a collar. The little moans and whimpers she'd been making as he spanked her echoed in his mind. Stroking a few more times, pictured himself pounding into Isabella from behind, Edward came hard.
****TCBS****
Bella walked out of Edward's office unable to stop thinking about the euphoria she was feeling. Her body was literately vibrating with need and desire. As she walked into the bathroom to straighten her clothing out, she decided to look at what her derriere looked like. What she saw in the mirror reminded her of an image she came across on one of the sites when she was doing her research. It was of a woman bent over a desk with only a garter belt and thigh high stockings on. A man with a tie, button down shirt, and work slacks on, in his hand he had a thin stick that she later found out was a cane. The woman's ass was red from where he'd whipped her with it. That was exactly what her own ass looked like, but from Edwards hand alone. She wished she had a phone or camera to take a picture of it, so that she could refer to it later when she was home alone.
Her panties were completely soaked, so removing them was her only option. She hoped that what she needed to type up was not too much so that she could go home and alleviate her aching crotch.
Luckily Edward had only dictated three letters to have sent out, so Bella was able to finish quickly. She left the office and walked her new route home. She enjoyed walking through the park, even if it was a longer way. She liked seeing the sprouting of new leaves and flowers on the trees, it gave her hope that with the changing of the season came the changing of her own life. Her past would forever haunt her, and she wouldn't ever know what could trigger a flashback, but she now knew that Edward could help her.
****TCBS****
Bella walked into her house to find not only Sue, but Seth as well sitting in the kitchen talking. "Oh my God, Seth. I haven't seen you since the wedding. What are you doing home?" Bella squealed, jumping and hugging her stepbrother tightly. Seth had been away at college for the last few years, and wasn't expected to be home for at least one more semester.
"Hey, big sis. I was actually able to change a few classes to do them online and will be finishing school from home."
The smile that spread across Bella's face was so bright it made Sue smile even bigger to know that Bella loved having Seth around so much. "What are you doing home so early? Did something happen at work?"
A look that neither Sue nor Seth could figure out passed over Bella's face momentarily before she answered. "No, nothing happened. Mr. Cullen just didn't have much for me to do today and told me I could go home." Both Sue and Seth could see that Bella was lying; she'd never really been a good liar, just good at hiding things.
"Are you sure everything is okay?" Sue asked again, still not convinced that everything was fine with Bella.
"Yeah, Sue, everything is fine."
"Come sit with me, Bella. I was just going to tell mom about the girl I am trying to ask out," Seth suggested.
Just as Bella was going to sit she remembered the bruises and soreness on her ass. "Actually Seth, come on up to my room later and you'll tell me everything. I want to take a few minutes to shower and get out of these work clothes."
"Yeah sure Bells, I will come up so we can catch up in about an hour. Is that enough time?" Seth replied, not completely convinced that Bella wasn't hiding something. Maybe she was back to hurting herself.
With that Bella turned out of the kitchen towards the stairs and up to her bedroom.
****TCBS****
Once Edward knew that Isabella had left the office for the day he quickly called Alice. Without any preamble Edward demanded, "Alice I need you to come by my house now. I'm leaving the office. I will wait for you in the kitchen." He hung up without giving Alice a chance to reply.
Less than twenty minutes later Edward sat in his kitchen, top button undone and tie pulled completely off his neck. His knees bounced and he drummed his fingers as if that would make Alice get there faster.
"You better have a good fucking reason for the way you demanded I come over. I have a fucking life Edward and have shit to do. I'm not your submissive to speak to like that and expect me to jump," Alice ranted, the second she walked into Edward's kitchen.
Ignoring Alice's bitching Edward asked, "What the hell is Marcus' full name? I want his fucking ass thrown in prison for the shit he pulled with Isabella."
Alice sat down staring at Edward. She wondered how the hell he got Isabella to tell him about Marcus. "How much did Isabella tell you?"
"Not enough, but I know that he is a sick bastard, that is most likely the cause for Isabella's issues." Edward went on to explain what happened earlier that day, so that Alice knew everything in case she'd need it to treat Isabella later.
Sighing, Alice addressed Edward's question. "Bella has never given me anything other than a first name. I know that he was the reason she finally left Arizona and came to live with her dad. I also know that Renee ended the relationship with him not long after Bella left."
"Well that is enough information to give to Jenks so that he can track this lowlife down."
"Edward, do you think that is something you should be doing? Have you thought that maybe this will be too much for Bella to deal with?"
"Alice, knowing that he will no longer be a threat to her is the only way to ensure that Isabella will begin to truly heal. I have to do something to make her safe. I can't stand to see the blank stare on her face or listen to this detached voice. She spoke of it like she wasn't even there."
"I know Edward, believe me, I know. I have been working with her for a few months now and you have to understand that she has made huge improvements. It was so much worse the first time, she even told me about being abused. That is when I knew that working for you was the best thing I could do for her." He knew she'd warned him that first night, but he never expected things to be that bad.
"I need something else from you, and I know this might be difficult to answer without breaking small parts of the doctor/ patient confidentiality, but what are her triggers. I need to know so that I can try to avoid doing them."
"I wish I could tell you Edward, and not just because of the confidentiality issue, but because I don't know them. They come to light as things happen, but at this point I don't think that even she knows. The first time I met her, she'd been lost in thought at her step-sister's wedding and her best friend went to hug her from behind causing Bella to completely lose it." The sadness was plain on Alice's face and Edward knew that if she could give him information she really would.
Edward and Alice spoke a little longer about what they would do if something caused Bella to have a flashback. Then, they made a plan on how they would help her get passed it once she did. Alice encouraged Edward to continue to spank Bella when she needed the pain, but to also push to help her find other ways to deal with the stress. Positive ways that will eventually get her away from needing pain to relieve herself, so that their D/s relationship could become something done out of pleasurable need and not emotional need.
****TCBS****
After Alice left, Edward drummed up the courage to do something he hadn't done since Jane left him. He took the key of the playroom off the hook and opened the heavy door. As he walked in the first thing he saw was the ruby red St. Andrew's cross that was attached to the black with silver swirled pattern accent wall. Just to the left of it were the shelves and hooks that held all his whips, paddles, canes and floggers. There were also a few boxes with plugs and vibrators, but his favorites were always kept handy on the rolling cart. Then, the spanking horse and suspension rig were located on the opposite wall, with the bed and thrown in the middle. Edward had set up the room so that everything flowed nicely and was comfortable to move from one location to the next. No sooner had Edward walked into the room than he was assaulted with the memories of the last time he'd been in there.
Jane and he had just finished an intense session and were both trying to recover, when Jane asked to speak freely.
"You know you are always welcome to speak freely in the kitchen Jane, is it really that important to speak about that you cannot wait until we leave this room?"
"I'm sorry, Sir, but it is imperative that I speak to you about this now." The nerves were starting to creep up on Jane. She wasn't sure how her master would take the news she was about to deliver.
"Fine Jane, let me just let your bindings go and we can go to the kitchen to speak." Edward was a bit frustrated that she couldn't wait until he was completely down from his orgasmic high before doing this. He would worry about having her clean up the playroom afterward.
No sooner were they in the kitchen when Jane blurted out, "I'm pregnant Edward."
"What!" Edward bellowed. He'd always been so careful. He always made sure to put on a condom when they were together. He knew she couldn't get on any type of birth control due to her medical history, so it was up to him to make sure they were safe.
"Relax Edward, the baby isn't yours. Even though we've had sex I know you've always had protection on, I can't say the same about my boyfriend Alec."
"I wasn't aware you had a boyfriend."
"I know, and he knows nothing about our relationship either. We live a completely vanilla lifestyle. He would never be able to lay a finger on me, much less understand why I crave it," Jane explained. "This is the last time I will do this. Alec and I are going to Las Vegas tomorrow to get married. I have resolved myself to love and raise my baby with nothing that can attach me to my BDSM past. I want to leave and forget everything that I've done."
Edward couldn't understand why Jane would wait so long to tell him. Why have one last session if she knew she wouldn't ever do it again? Before Edward could even ask, Jane walked up to him removed her collar - that he was sure she didn't wear outside of his home- and walked out the door.
Edward shook himself out of the memory and located the small heart shaped paddle he wanted to take with him to the office, quickly exiting and locking up the room once more. He wasn't ready to deal with the questions that would forever remain unanswered. Maybe someday, but surely not tonight! Too much has happened already for me to deal with that now.
****TCBS****
AN: I hope this gave you all some more answers. I know those of you who got the teaser for chapter 8 must have been freaking out because of how I left it. Some have asked about the Blonde... don't worry she will make her appearance soonish.
I have yet to rec any stories in one of my AN in this story... but let me tell you I highly recommend reading The Selkie Wife... Its what kept me entertained while I was ill. I know you will enjoy it.
I hope to have a chance to work on the next chapter in the early days this week. If that is possible I will try to post early since this one was so late. Please dont forget to review and as always I will send a teaser out to all those who review.