A/N: Writer's block. I am so, so sorry.
I've been writing a piece of fiction, so it hasn't been posted on here. It's in the works, and I hope it'll become novel-length.
I haven't given up on Snippets though! Thanks for sticking with me and getting me to 35 review!
Woot! You guys rock! You totally deserve busting up my laptop's keyboard for the feedback!
So review for this milestone my story has reached! LET'S GET TO 40, PEOPLE!
MAX
I opened one tired eye and I knew. Today was the day. I clicked my phone on just to check, and the date confirmed everything. It was April First.
I stepped out of bed, opened the curtains, avoiding the fake dog turd on the edge of my bed and the fake vomit on the floor. It was pretty realistic. The kids had really outdone themselves.
I dragged a chair over to the door and carefully took down the bucket of water. I set it down on the floor gingerly, ripping off the small taser on the door handle before opening it. I went into the bathroom and picked up my toothpaste. I squeezed it out experimentally and saw the mayo drip out. I threw it in the trash and took out another tube from the cabinet.
Without thinking, I took the cup that held our toothbrushes and took it downstairs to the kitchen. I put it in the microwave for a minute and poured out the now-melted water.
I ran back upstairs, avoiding the other "dog turd" on the steps and checked the toothpaste thoroughly before brushing my teeth. I sighed, tired of the whole deal. I've been through many April Fools with the flock. You learn to anticipate the pranks and disable them before they happen.
Fang joined me in the bathroom. He was about to grab my hand when I squeezed my fingers on his wrist, trapping it. I flipped it over and checked it, then did the same with his other hands. There weren't any tasers. Fang raised a quizzical eyebrow at me.
"April Fools. I'm sort of paranoid," I explained. He nodded and hugged me quickly before I left the bathroom. I opened my dresser and took out a shirt from the bottom of the drawer, and shook it out to make sure there was no itching powder in it.
After a careful inspection of my Green Day shirt (actually Fang's Green Day shirt I had… borrowed), I slipped it on. It hung loosely on me, being too big for obvious reasons. I shoved on some random cargo shorts that may or may not have been mine in the first place. Other than Nudge, we're not really possessive of our clothing.
On my way out of my room, I met Fang. "Isn't that shirt mine?" he asked.
"Not anymore," I said.
"I like it," Fang said.
"So much you want it back?" I asked him. Fang shook his head.
"I like that you're wearing my shirt," he explained. I must have put on a confused expression, because he continued. "It's my mark. To show you're mine."
I smacked him lightly on the arm. "I'm not property!" I said, but I was laughing, so that must have ruined the whole effect.
"Should we prank them back?" Fang asked; his voice lowered to a whisper. I bet my eyes glinted mischievously.
"Yeah," I said, grinning. April Fool's Day was just beginning.
! #$%^&*
"There's no more electricity in my roooooom!" Nudge wailed, dragging out the last word. I looked up from the TV. Well, TV my ass. I was cuddling with Fang with some kind of stupid show playing in the background.
"I'm sure we'll get it fixed," I soothed. I should really be an actress, because Nudge didn't suspect a thing. She frowned at me, but it didn't cross her mind that I could possibly be at the bottom of that.
"But my phone is dead! And I can't charge it!" Nudge whined.
"You'll just have to charge it in the kitchen," I said.
"There's nowhere to lie down in the kitchen!" Nudge insisted. I shrugged and she left the room with her shoulders hunched down in defeat. Fang looked at me with a glance that said it all.
"Did you know there was this switch in the basement that controls electricity in individual rooms around the house?" I asked Fang conversationally.
"They're going to kill you for that," he told me. I turned away from him and snuggled into his chest.
"Only if they find out it's me…" I trailed off. Fang put his lips on my head and we stayed like that for a while, neither of us breaking the silence.
"Max and Fang, sitting in a tree!" Gazzy sang from right behind us. I swiveled around and he wasn't there. He was probably throwing his voice again.
"K-I-S-S-I-N-G!" he chanted, this time from the entrance to the living room. I still couldn't find him.
"First comes love," he crooned, his voice now coming from the left. "Then comes marriage." His voice had jumped to the right of the room. I whipped my head around frantically, trying to find the Gasman.
"Then comes a mutant bird baby in a baby carriage!" Gazzy finished, strolling through the front door.
"Very funny," I muttered.
The Gasser grinned widely. "I was only the distraction." Nudge and Angel suddenly appeared, wielding two cartons of eggs each. Angel smiled at me sweetly before throwing an egg at my face.
I swiped it off, turning around to find Fang with an egg on his shirt. I ran for it, trying to exit the living room. It was probably the worst moment for Iggy to pop up.
"What's—ACK!" he shouted, swiping at the egg on his face. I shoved past him roughly, Nudge laughing evilly as two more eggs landed on my favorite sweatshirt. Iggy ran out with us, Fang growling but unable to defend us, another raw egg cracking on his smooth, silky, beautiful, dark hair that was so touchable…
Ahem. We scrambled up the stairs, locking ourselves into Fang's room. I tried wiping the egg off my hair with my sleeve. I huffed in frustration. "It's all over my favorite sweatshirt!" I said.
"Don't worry, you're still beautiful," Fang said, earning a small smile and a half-hearted punch on the arm from me.
"I'm still here," Iggy muttered. He is so dramatic sometimes.
"We have to prank them back," Fang said.
"Starting with Nudge," I agreed. "I have an idea."
"Nudge keeps her keys on a hook inside her window," Iggy said. "If that helps at all."
"It does," I said, a positively evil smile starting to appear on my face.
! #$%^&*
"The power's back on, sweetie," I told Nudge. She lit up, hopping down from the kitchen counter where she'd been lying on her back with a few pillows. She gave me a huge smile, and I almost felt bad, then I looked down at my sweatshirt. Like magic, I was furious again.
She ran upstairs. There was an earsplitting scream a few seconds later, and Iggy, Fang and I tried not to laugh. All three of us conveniently popped up near her room.
"What's wrong?" Iggy asked, sounding so concerned I almost snorted and blew our cover.
"MY ROOM!" Nudge screamed, incapable of formulating a complete thought. Nudge not being able to talk means a code red apocalypse. We all ran in, worried expressions plastered on our faces. Her room was empty, no furniture, no mirrors, no beds, and no posters.
"ANGEL!" she shouted, and the same little blond mind reader appeared. We all blocked our minds and enjoyed how her eyes widened exponentially.
"My bed! Total's bed! My stuffed animals!" Angel's eyes were filling with tears.
"It might me a robbery," Fang said with a straight face.
"You should check to see if they stole your keys, because if they did they could get into the house," I added.
Nudge nodded and moved her curtains to check for her keys. She let out a gasp and we all convincingly pressed closer to see. Out in the yard, through the window, you could see the contents their room, laid out in exactly the same way as it had been before. The posters were spread out where they had been on the walls, and the beds were arranged, Nudge's light bulb mirror was set carefully on the grass.
"FANG!" Angel yelled. I glared at him.
"Why didn't you block your mind?" I turned viciously on him.
"I did!" he protested.
"Lucky guess," Angel smiled at us.
"What?" Iggy said.
"Now go clean up!" Nudge told us. "Or we tell Dr. M." I frowned at her.
"Fine," I grumbled.
! #$%^&*
DR. MARTINEZ
My phone rang on the way home from work. I was tired, and I'd had to operate on a dog all day. I ignored every safety rule and picked up when I saw Max's caller ID. Was there an attack? Was Jeb back?
It went straight to voicemail though I picked up. Strange. I put the phone down, put it on speaker, and pressed play as I drove.
"Hi, Mom. It's Max. This is hard to say but… well, I'm pregnant. Fang is the father. I'm running away now. Don't look for me. I don't want to be found. It's a girl, and I'm naming her after you. We're going to get married. Try and forget me. I love you, Mom."
Max's voice fell silent, and I ignored the tears blurring my eyes as I drove well above the speed limit to get home.
! #$%^&*
MAX
"Lift it a little bit," I told Fang. His end of the dresser went up a little bit, and Iggy held the middle bravely.
I took a step back and we shuffled towards the house. Total was sniffing around excitedly.
"How come this is the second time you move the furniture? First, you bring it out; then you take it back in. Talk about indecisive," he said, half-laughing and half-barking.
I glared at him and he ran under us, making me lose my balance. The back door opened and I heard my mom's voice.
"MAX!" she shouted at the top of her lungs. She compressed me in a hug. "I was so scared," she whispered.
"What?"
"You can tell me, it's okay. I'd never be ashamed of you, and I'd support all three of you. Just don't push me away!" I exchanged a look with Fang. My mother had gone crazy.
"What's wrong?" I asked her, patting her head awkwardly.
"How many months?" she asked me with tears in her eyes.
"What do you mean?"
"How long have you been pregnant?" she asked again. My eyes widened to the size of dinner plates.
"WHAT?" I exploded. "I'm not pregnant!"
"But I got a call…" Her expression suddenly turned from tearful to murderous. She stomped into the house screaming: "GASMAN!"
"You're not pregnant, are you?" Fang asked. I rolled my eyes.
"No. You would know."
"Right. Unless you were cheating on me."
"Yeah. I'm totally going to elope with Total," I deadpanned.
"Hey! I'm a married canine!" Total protested.
"I'm still here!" Iggy all but shouted.
"Right. Now help me carry this dresser to the girls' room."
! #$%^&*
Dinnertime came around. I guess I survived April Fools another year. At the dinner table, we were eating Iggy's signature macaroni and cheese. It's the food of the gods.
I punched him lightly on the arm. "You didn't prank anyone!"
Iggy smiled lightly and dug into his food. I started chewing and almost spat it out. Retching, I swallowed with difficulty. "Did the sea throw up in my macaroni? It's way too salty."
"Mine tastes like it has honey! It's too sweet!" Nudge exclaimed. Grumbling and protest echoed around the dinner table.
Iggy smiled all by himself. "Just right," he said, taking a huge bite of macaroni.
A/N: Shout out to Goldilocks. REVIEW! PLEASE?