Agents Big Dipper and Rainbow Rider
I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!
...III...
I THANK AND OWE GOD FOR EVERYTHING!
...III...
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Please enter ICA ID:
(***********)
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ICA ACCESS CONFIRMED
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PASSWORD?
D*** T** B**** M*** H***?
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(Welcome Agent 47)
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Begin mission briefing?
Y/N
(Y)
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/CONNECTION ESTABLISHED\\\
/1%\\\
/17%\\\
/35%\\\
/57%\\\
/82%\\\
/99%\\\
/BEGINNING TRANSMISSION\\\
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Good Evening 47...
Your mission today is rather unusual even by our standards.
Your destination is off the beaten path, somewhere in the wilderness of Oregon USA...and your target is one Ford Pines and to rescue an unknown whistle blower who we know nothing about save for the fact he'll give you the codeword 'Ice Bag'.
Weirdly enough, that's about the extent of our knowledge on this operation...in fact we don't even know who the client is...
Last month, CIA received a heavily encrypted message via carrier owl of all things...
It gave coordinates for your apparent destination, a picture of the target and a bank account number for us to extract the down-payment...but NOTHING else...
I'm not going to lie 47, I find this all very odd and rather ominous, especially considering they were insistent on YOU being the one to come...
But the account checked out and the money is good, so despite the unorthodox nature of the mission and my concerns the board want you to at least go there and see what is going on...
Be careful 47...
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47 looked at the 'Welcome to Gravity Falls' sign with a thoughtful expression...Diana hadn't told him about any towns nearby...yet here one was...
He takes pictures and sends them back to Diana...his earpiece immediately came to life with her familiar voice...
"What? ...No, this can't be right...
47 I swear, there is NO record of any town anywhere near the coordinates! It's all unexplored wilderness! I'm looking at the map right now!"
"Nevermind that, are the coordinates in town?" Asked 47, ever the professional.
"What? Right, hold on. Sending the pictures to our analysts...right, this will take awhile...
In the meantime, go into town. I'll compare and contrast your GPS signature with the coordinates...
Without a word, 47 dose as she instructs...
What he finds...is odd...
What the? Okay, maybe this time! This time! This time! This time! This time!" Shouts a grown man as he repeatedly runs into a PAINTED door in a wall over and over...
"Dang it! Someone help! I locked myself inside my car again!" Said a grown woman as indeed, she had SOMEHOW locked herself inside her car...and her key's OUTSIDE...
And they were but some of many of the town residents displaying similar... 'impairments of mental faculties'...
His expression betraying NOTHING, 47 looks at all this with nothing but a look of calculated observation...
That being said...if one where to somehow look close enough without getting their neck snapped...they'd see the assassin discretely gripping his signature 'Silverballer' all the harder...
Nevertheless, he discretely quickly took pictures and sent them to Diana...
"...47...what am I looking at here?"
"Honestly? I was hoping you could tell me." Said 47 flatly. Send him to kill a rouge dictator, a media mogul and a senator in under an hour with nothing but a empty briefcase while making it look like an accident and he was your man...
But this?
"I now pronounce you man and woodpecker!"
...This was just WEIRD...
"This is the happiest day of my life!" Said the man as he began to make out with his woodpecker 'bride'.
Both Dian and 47 just silently watched this spectacle for what seemed like forever...
"Right, that's it. I'm pulling the plug. The board can yell at me all they want. I don't know what I'm looking at here and frankly that's probably for the best. Prepare for extrac-
"No, I'm not saying your wrong. But let's at least see what's at the actual coordinates first before we do anything that drastic." Interrupted 47, weird or not. He was a nothing if not a professional...
"I...well, between my own observations and the analysts findings, the coordinates appear to be actually out of town and further into the woods. I'm confident I can direct you to it now...but 47...are you sure?"
"I'll show you 'anger management'! Shouted 'Boyish' Dan as he beat up his psychiatrist with a motorcycle.
"GET EM'! GET EM'!" Shouted a young Tyler CuteBiker...
47...said nothing...he just turned his back to the scene...and walked into the woods and OUT of the town as fast as possible...
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"Ah! Now that's more like it! A secret, heavily fortified and guarded compound in the middle of nowhere. Now THAT'S right up our alley!
Said Diana relieved as 47 sent the pictures confirming the existence of said compound nestled right where the coordinates directed...
BOOM!
Followed by a picture of a giant Pterodactyl bursting through the wall of said compound...and flying away...
"...Right, I'm just going to ignore that."
"That seems wise." agreed 47 as he took advantage of both the confusion and the new 'opening' in the facility to knock out a guard, steal their uniform and enter undetected...
But neither operative nor handler said a word of their growing apprehension of this assignment...
Yet neither would also realize how their 'true' assignment had yet begun...
At least...not until it was too late...
...III...
TO BE CONTINUED?
AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Go to my P,a,t,r,e,o,n account!
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