Yeah , that's what Steve thought. Tony is just... Ugh.

EDIT 2/9/2014: Story's the same just going through and adjusting things. Proofreading and all that.

Chapter 2: Incidental Kidnapping

Steve hates Tony. There is currently no other viable option. "Tony," he begins, his voice low and angry and oh, God that's actually really hot. Oh wait, Steve is talking. Yelling, really. And is that completely necessary?

"What?" Tony feels sluggish, tired. Huh, Steve's eye are really blue when he's angry like this.

Steve lets out a quick breath. "Why did we just abduct a teenager?"

Teenager? What teen- Oh, right, Parker! Tony beams up at his friend. "Did we get him?"

Steve grips Tony's shoulders and glares. "Tony," he says carefully. "I need you to tell me why I just inadvertently kidnapped two teenagers."

"Two?" Tony asks. And then it comes back to him. "Oh, right. The blond who hit me in the head with backpack." He glares around to see her scowling at him. "That was so not necessary. I get enough head injuries on my own, thank you very much. I did not need another one."

Steve sighs. Why does he always sound so put upon around Tony? Really Tony is not that bad. "Tony. What are we doing? Why are we kidnapping people?"

"We weren't kidnapping people. We were…" He looks at the scowly-head-injury girl. "Well, I can't tell you while she's here. But we were gonna talk to Parker." He glares blearily at her. "Only Parker."

She rolls her eyes. "Yes, because drugging people like kidney-thieves makes a great first impression. If you're worried about me knowing about his extracurriculars, I already know. My name is Gwen."

Tony brightens at her hostility. She's his Pepper! "Cool. Steve, the kid is Spider-Man."

Steve is holding his head in his hands when Tony looks at him again.

"What? What's wrong? Did the crazy girl hit you too?" Tony glares at Gwen again.

And then Steve starts laughing. And doesn't stop. It's really not that funny. Tony's pretty sure he got hit in the head with a backpack full of textbooks. Which is just so not cool.

"No, Tony, Gwen did not hit me. I, like a normal person, told her who we were and that we would take Peter back to the tower for any medical attention he needed. Then we hauled the two of you into the car. Happy wasn't phased. Does this happen often? Please tell me it doesn't happen often. I do not like kidnapping people." Steve pats Tony's shoulder. "It leads to head injuries."

Tony smirks at him. "Yeah, but the kid wouldn't have come -"

"What do you actually want with Peter?" Head-injury girl gives no quarter. Direct and to the point.

Yeah, okay, Tony can work with that.

"Well, Miss Stacy." He can do names, stop looking like that. "I recently learned that Mr. Parker was a minor and as such should not be risking his life as the Spider-Man -"

"So you kidnap him to tell him to stop? He can't. He -"

Tony huffs, interrupting her. "If you'd let me finish. I was going to say that he shouldn't risk his life without back-up." He glances at the kid. He's smallish and wiry, very much an agile acrobat. "Or training for that matter. We can offer resources, both as the Avengers Initiative and as individuals."

Gwen is somewhat poleaxed by that.

"That's right. I'm not a complete asshole."

Steve is laughing again. "So, why didn't we just ask him come to the tower?"

This time Gwen rolls her eyes. God, Tony is never introducing her to Pepper. They would have him ousted from his own tower within the week. "Because you would've gotten to the part where you introduced yourself, and Pete would've bolted."

Tony gestures expansively. "See, Steve. This is actually better because now Blondie can help us make our case." He nods. "Good job on kidnapping her."