Michonne sorted through her clothes. She had started packing and wanted everything to be ready to go when she would check out. Last night had been different. In the end when they went back to the hotel room it had turned out better than she had imagined. She had fun with her friends, even his friends, but they didn't speak with Rick. He would ignore her and she ignored him. Their conversation from outside had never been resolved. He would look at her, clearly thinking if he should make the first move, but he didn't. So she didn't want to bring it up either. They created distance and had a nice night separately.
She left with Sasha around three am. Everybody else had hugged her and wished her a good trip home because they knew she was riding home. They would sleep through the night in a spa on their way back and be home by sunday. So it was perfect relaxation after this whole week. Michonne insisted on buying Connie a plane ticket for the same flight as Daryls gang so that she could stay and enjoy his friends and get to know them. Her and Sasha would take on the road together.
Everything was going like she had planned, but...
Why was she upset? why did her hands shake from the adrenaline as she packed away her clothes. It hurt her that he didn't say goodbye. He didnt acknowledge her, he didn't look at her, he didn't hug her, he just sat in the corner sulking and feeling sorry for himself as he drank himself numb.
Secretly she had wished that he would have gotten up, pulled her into his room and had his way with her because that's what they both seemed to need. Maybe if it happened she would have gotten him out of her system, she could move on without wasting another thought on him. This man had managed to create a malfunction in her mind. He had her questioning her own morals. Before meeting him the world seemed easier to tackle. Now, it was exhausting.
A knock on her door interrupted her thoughts. She sighed as she went to open it. Sasha walked in with a tired yawn.
"Six hours of sleep is not enough for my old ass." She complained as she collapsed on her bed.
"Yeah, and we have long ride home. You promised to drive half, don't forget that." Michonne reminded her.
"I should have never allowed you to talk me into driving when we could have simply flown out here like normal people." Sasha groaned as she laid there.
"Oh come on," She laughed, "You know it's going to be worth it when we get to the spa. Plus I love my car and I know you love it too."
"Yeah well it cost a big penny no wonder you love it so much, ," Sasha wanted to change the topic as sat up and stared at her friend curiously, "What happened last night with the two of you before you came backc inside?"
Michonne didn't really feel like talking about it, "What do you mean?"
"You came back all quiet and serious," She tried her best to approach the subject with grace, "And I noticed you didn't talk to each other for the rest of the night. I was not the only one who noticed. His friend, the leather jacket, pulled him aside at one point."
"Negan." She clarified his name.
Sasha snapped her fingers and continued, "Yeah that one. He seemed worried about Rick. So I'm guessing whatever you talked about didn't go well because he got wasted and you looked like you wanted to murder him."
Michonne could feel her body tense up at the mention of his name, "He is going to tell his wife about..." she swallowed nervously, "the kiss."
"Well that's good and that's the right thing to do," Sasha was confused at her reaction, "Why is that an issue?"
"Because I don't want to be the reason behind someones world falling apart," She responded firmly, "I believe in honesty, you know me. I feel like he is making it into something that it was not. We had a very stressful day. I don't think the kiss was anything else other than pent up anger."
"Michonne, you do realize he has been with the same woman for eighteen years."
"And?"
"Men who are that loyal and have that much to lose don't fool around with women on rooftops over pent up anger," Sasha was surprised Michonne hadn't figured it out herself, "He literally likes you. A whole lot."
Michonne felt speechless because she hadn't thought about the possibilty.
"Is this really news to you?" Sasha asked, a bit amused.
"Well whatever the reason was it's still not worth it," She brushed her point aside, "I'm not interested in being middle of all that and I know she will figure it out even if he doesn't mention me."
"That's a bit far fetched."
"Really?" Michonne crossed her arms, "Isn't it logical? She knows we all have been spending time together because of Daryl and Connie. Then she will find out that you are in a relationship. Oh, and two seconds later somebody will tell her I'm the divorced lady who her husband approached at the strip club on their first night out."
"Maybe it isn't so far fetched." Sasha admitted with an awkward smile because it made more sense when she heard it, "But it doesn't matter if she finds out. You're single, you did nothing wrong. He is the one who is obligated to act correctly. He is the one who knows the boundaries they have set in their relationship."
"Yeah, but I feel shitty about it," Michonne groaned, "I don't want to be that person."
"I get that," Sasha comforted her, "and I know because of what went on with Mike and Miss perky tits it's a tough subject-"
She laughed at the nickname, "Yeah I don't want to be Miss perky tits in this situation."
"But you are," She wasn't trying to make her upset, but she wanted her to confront her feelings about it all, "It's not healthy to bury things Michonne. We've talked about it before."
Michonne sighed in defeat and sat next to her friend, "The problem is that I don't even know what the hell is going on."
"Yeah, me neither." Sasha definitely agreed with her on that. Ever since they met this group of men it felt like the world changed.
"I mean, I don't even know how old he is and here I am mad at him like he is my husband of ten years," Out of nowhere she burst out laughing, "That's just insane. He is basically a stranger. What the fuck is wrong with me?"
Sasha threw her hands around her and squeezed, "I'm sorry you have to go through this."
Michonne dropped her head on her friends shoulder, "I'll live."
"Rick?" He heard his name being called.
God, his head hurt as he tried to open his eyes. When he finally managed to open them and his eyes adjusted with the light he could see Daryl in his fluffy robe. He was sitting in the lounge chair in his room and he looked concerned.
"What? What time is it?" His voice was raspy from the night before.
"Enough. Negan and Glenn just left to the airport," Daryl tossed him a towel, "You better take a shower before they come, you reek."
"Shit," He muttered to himself as he rubbed his tired eyes, "I promised Judith I would be there when they landed."
"She will understand," He spoke quietly, "You alright man?"
Ricks ears ringed as he lifted himself to sit on the bed, "No, I feel like someone ran over me with a train. How much did I drink?" He managed to mumble out as the horrible wave of nausea hit him and he buried his head into his hands.
"I don't know," Daryl chuckled, "A lot."
He kept his head down because he felt so miserable, "How long have you been there? Where is your wife?"
He could hear Daryl chuckle again at the mention of his new wife, "She is still sleeping in my room. I switched places with Negan just before he left."
"Y'all been babysitting me?" that made him feel even more horrible, "I feel like shit."
"Yeah, that's the vodka," He got up and stopped by his bed, "You wanna talk about it?"
"Eh, no." He mumbled because he didn't know what to tell him.
He felt as if the world was giving him a massive middle finger right now. It wasn't an unfamiliar feeling though. He felt repulsed at his own actions. Somehow he was suddenly the man who he despised. Was this what Shane was talking about when he was too busy beating his face in. All of it reached a full circle. He was forced to look at things from the other point of view. He never chose to be infatuated by her. Michonne was not planned, he didn't go out of his way to find her. This strong, driven woman somehow posessed the ability to distort his way of thinking and morals.
Rick felt like puking his guts out as he got out of bed. Daryl was right, he smelled horrible.
"It's gonna be alright," His friend muttered silently, "Everything will be fine, just get yourself together before they get here."
He almost lost his composure as the words hit a nerve. He simply nodded as a thank you and dragged himself into the bathroom.
Soon as he got the door closed he leaned his back against it. The idea of renewing his vows felt more nauseating than the hangover he had. He had to talk to Lori. He couldn't live with this secret inside him. He couldn't bring himself to think about Michonne. It felt overwhelming that he wouldn't see her again, at least not like this. Their bubble would burst and reality would set in. He couldn't even think about the night before and how they left things unresolved. She had given him a long look before leaving and he knew she wanted him to say goodbye. For selfish reasons he couldn't, it was too hard. He caught a glance at himself in the mirror and sighed. He really looked like shit.
Michonne and Sasha had spent their morning shopping. Retail therapy always worked. They both worked hard for their income. These days money wasn't tight, they had built a reputation that followed everywhere and it was odd not to struggle financially. They were both from families that didn't have a lot. Michonne appreciated the finer things in life, but in the end they weren't necessary. She loved to spoil the people closest to her.
She had picked up a whole lot of things for Andre. Her little spider man who excitedly waited for her return.
"You think Abe would like these?" Sasha held a pair of designer sunglasses.
"He will like whatever you bring him," She smiled at her friend genuinely, "He is obsessed with you."
"Yeah, I know." Sasha giggled.
They continued their way towards the hotel with their shopping bags.
"You know you should call Marcus when we get home," Sasha suggested nonchalantly, "It could be nice."
"I don't know," Michonne thought about it, "There is the distance and-"
"Don't say you don't have the time," Sasha interrupted her, "We can make our own schedules these days and Andre is always taken care of. There is literally a village behind you."
She shrugged, "I'm just so done with men right now."
"Don't let Grimes get inside your head like that."
"It's not that," Michonne argued, and tried to reassure her, "He is the last thing on my mind right now. I'm just ready to go back home and focus on my son."
Sasha nodded. She knew Michonne wasn't ready to share everything that went through her mind. She had always been like this. She needed a moment for herself before sharing her deepest thoughts.
They finally walked inside the hotel and Sasha frowned at the sight in front of her. Michonne was confused as Sasha stood fozen infront of her. She peeked from behind her and saw familiar faces. First she spotted Glenn with a brunette beauty that must have been his wife. He kissed her hand sweetly as they leaned against the counter. Then there was Negan, with his wife who was effortlessly beautiful, also sporting a leather jacket of course. They were clearly having a serious conversation in the other corner. Connie and Daryl stood with a grey haired woman.
Then she saw him. Rick was hugging his daughter, he had lifted her up and she laughed so loud the whole lobby heard it. His son, whose dark long hair peeked from under his beanie was rolling his eyes at his dad and sister. Michonne smiled because he had perfectly described them to her. A moment later, she arrived in her long white maxi dress. She was tall, thin and had wavy dark hair like her son.
"Well won't you look at that Mrs.Grimes has arrived." Sasha pointed out the obvious with a roll of her eyes.
Michonne stared at the scene in front her and suddenly her eyes locked with him. She expected him to turn his gaze away and ignore her, but he didn't. His eyes didn't really say anything. He just stared and she stared right back.
Connie suddenly turned in their direction and noticed her friends. She excitedly waved at them to come over.
"Shit." Michonne muttered to herself and walked behind Sasha. Rick saw them approach and tried his best not to pay attention.
"These are Connie's friends, Sasha and Michonne," Daryl spoke so that everyone's could hear and signed at the same time, "Did I get it right? "
Connie smiled at him and nodded. The grey haired woman smiled from ear to ear and shook their hands, "Carol. Nice to meet you both."
"Thank you for keeping these guys in check," Glenn's wife chuckled and introduced herself, "I'm Maggie."
Michonne tried her best not to look at Rick. All of a sudden her skin felt hot and sweat formed on her forehead. Lucille introduced herself as well. She looked at Michonne differently though, she could sense there was something behind her gaze. She just didn't know what it was. The kids were groaning and complaining about being bored in the background when Lori turned around to look at the two women. Michonne could tell she looked at her from head to toe. Maybe she imagined it, but she seemed as uncomfortable as she was.
"Hi, I'm Lori Grimes." She extended her hand to Michonne with a forced smile on her face.
"Michonne Anthony," Michonne took her hand with hesistation and chuckled awkwardly because her hand was all clammy, "Sorry it's hot outside."
Lori went to shake hands with Sasha while Michonne locked her eyes with him. He looked uncomfortable as finally the whole situation came to a crash in front of him.
This craziness between them was impossible to just forget. The kiss was still vivid in his mind, so it was hard to look at her without remembering all the details. How her skin felt under his fingertips and how she smelled like coconuts and honey. He had to stop himself from thinking about it because it was causing him to loose his focus. If she only knew how hard this was. It hurt. He didn't know how he was going to survive waiting around and acting as if nothing was wrong. He wanted to talk to Lori in private asap.
"I like your hair. It's pretty because it's so different. My hair is kind of boring. Mom won't let me cut it." The little girl explained on her right as she looked at her with admiration. She was a perfect mixture of her mom and dad.
"Judith," The teen said through gritted teeth, "That's rude."
"It's fine, thank you sweetheart, " Michonne said softly, "Judith and Carl, right?"
Carl looked at her curiously, "How did you know our names?"
Rick scoffed awkwardly like something was stuck in his throat.
"Your dad couldn't stop talking about you," She smiled at Rick, kind of enjoying the fact that he was squirming under her gaze, "It was nice to see you two."
Carl nodded back at her politely, "Nice to meet you too."
Lori sighed as she looked at the reception, "Why is this taking so long?" She seemed to be stressed out and turned to her husband, "I thought you guys had handled this for us, so that we don't have to wait around like this. The kids are exhausted."
He didn't say anything back. He was too busy thinking about what was going to happen soon.
"Rick?" Lori waited for his answer.
"Yeah. Yeah, I know."
The chemistry between them seemed tense, in the worst kind of way. Michonne didn't want to be around them because she knew it was only a matter of time before Rick told her the truth. She looked at Sasha pleadingly. Hoping she got the message.
"Michonne, we should get going. There is a long drive ahead." Sasha said a bit louder and signed towards Connie.
Michonne was glad her best friend had learned over the years to really read her face. She was so ready to have some distance from Rick and this fiasco.
Connie ran to hug them once more and blew kisses at her closest friends. She was taking a big leap of faith and jumping into the unknown with Daryl, but it felt right and she was eager to get to know his circle.
"Oh, and congrats to the happy couple," Sasha turned towards Rick with the biggest fake smile and looked at him menacingly, "You should take your wife to the rooftop. I hear it's breathtaking."
Lori was completely oblivious at the sarcasm and smiled back at Sasha. Both Rick and Michonne were mortified. She pulled at her friends arm, "We are gonna go now. Have a nice evening everybody!"
Michonne pulled Sasha along as Ricks eyes stayed glued on the two friends while they walked away.
"They were nice." Lori said to him.
"Yeah, they are."
"Uncle Daryl, is Connie going to live with you and dog?" Judith looked at her favorite uncle.
They sat in the lobby while others sorted through the new rooms.
"I hope so," He answered her, "I ain't leaving you behind."
Judith smiled up at him, "I like her."
"Yeah,me too." He smiled back.
Carl walked over, "Where is Connie?"
Daryl laughed, it seemed like she would fit in perfectly, "She went to her room to pack. She has to check out."
The teenager nodded then looked at his mom and dad who seemed to be bickering about something over at the reception.
"Here we go again." Carl rolled his eyes.
Negan walked up to them with Lucille.
"Hey Carl, you wanna go check out the stores later?" She suggested happily, "We can buy something for Enid."
Lucille felt nervous as she tried to connect with him. All day he hadn't said a word to her. It was starting to make her concerned.
The teenager only gave her a dirty look and tried to blow them off by walking away.
Negan grabbed him by the arm and made him listen, "What's up buddy? You've been ignoring us ever since we saw each other at the airport."
He exhaled and looked at Daryl.
"Let's go help Connie." Daryl took Judiths hand and distracted her. It was better to shield her from a confrontation like this.
They watched as the pair walked off and Carl wasted no time to let Lucille know what was going through his mind.
"I know about Shane." He whispered. He didn't want this to blow up in the middle of the hotel lobby.
Negan looked puzzled and then turned his gaze towards Lucille whose eyes almost bugged out of her head.
"Wait, what do you mean?" Negan looked at Carl.
"Mom and Shane still talk, and Lucille knew about it." Carl put it simply.
Negan now was the one who was shocked and demanded his wife to speak up, "What the fuck?"
"It's not like that. They are friends. They rarely even speak." She tried to down play it as she explained to her husband.
"But you knew, " Carl tried his best not to raise his voice, "I thought I could trust you. I told you how hard it was back then. You kept that from me and you swore that you would tell me if you heard anything about him."
She took step towards him, "Carl-"
He shook his head and got more distance between them, "No. I don't wanna talk to you."
Carl walked away without hesitation, leaving Negan confused and Lucille almost in tears.
"Are you fucking kidding me?" He turned to his wife, who had just earlier given him a twenty minute rant about honesty. She was pissed off that he had spent a little money, but this secret was like a kick in the gut.
"Negan," She crossed her arms as she faced him, confident in herself like she always was, "Lori is my best friend. Of course I did what a friend would do. I listened and I told her to get rid of him. Many times, believe me."
"You hid it because you knew it was wrong. Now Carl is in the middle of it," he seethed, angry, "You should have told me."
"Oh stop being a martyr," She snapped back, "If Rick came to you, you would never interfere with his dirty laundry."
"I probably wouldn't, but I would make sure the boy never heard it!" He yelled.
Their friends turned to look at the arguing couple. Lori felt her heart drop because she knew exactly what the fight was about.
"Not here." His wife said back with a whisper. Negan glared angrily at Lucille and then at Lori before storming away to find Carl.
Finally, everybody settled in their rooms. They had made new arrangements. They got rid of the suite and each couple had their own room, plus Carol, while the kids shared one. Rick threw his suitcase on the floor with a loud thud while Lori was busy in the bathroom. He was having a hard time keeping it together. He couldn't care less which room they had. He had to tell her now. He had broken their vows and they couldn't built on a foundation that was tainted.
"Rick," Lori came out of the bathroom, she looked nervous, "I need to talk to you-"
"I need to tell you something." He interrupted her as he ran a tired hand over his face. He didn't even register what she was about to say.
She was caught off guard with his sudden change in demeanor. She knew him like the back of her hand. This alarmed her. Her soft broken expression hardened.
"What is it?" She almost demanded.
He sat on the big bed that was in the middle of the room. It was like torture, he couldn't find the right words because none of them would make it painless for her. Nonetheless what she had done, she was still the mother of his children and in his eyes she deserved the respect.
He shut his eyes in disbelief, he didn't understand how it had come to this, "I met someone," He took a deep breath, "I spent time with her and something-"
She felt numb as she stared at him from across the room, "You cheated?"
"No!" He opened his eyes and stared back, "I mean, well, I had a moment with her yes."
Loris eyes narrowed as she glared at him judgingly, "A moment?"
He gulped, "I kissed her. Nothing else."
He couldn't look at her and he kept his eyes towards the floor. Lori looked at him and felt absolutely nothing. He had done something that she never imagined he could be capable of.
Silence took over. She kept her eyes on him and wondered when would she wakeup from this twisted nightmare.
"What is this? Huh? Is this some kind of sick revenge?" Her voice turned angry and bitter, "Are you that pathetic?"
"What! No!" Rick finally looked at her, "I would never plan on... You know, it just happened.."
The brunette exploded, "When I kissed Shane you told me I was the most disgusting vile thing on this earth and now you want me to believe it just happened! When you accused me of purposely hurting you for years. You told me these things don't just happen!"
"And now I know they do!" He got up matching her energy, not able to remain calm.
Lori laughed bitterly and then said in her coldest tone, "I was happy you came here to unwind! And now I look like a fucking idiot! You came here to hurt me!"
"That's insane." He said back just as coldly.
She couldn't comprehend what he had told her. She thought things were finally settled in their marriage. She knew her own wrong doings, but this felt like knife in her back. All of a sudden he was capable of showing emotion to another woman. When he couldn't do it for his own wife. This realization made her feel rage like nothing else had before and she was going to make him feel all of it.
"What do you want to do? Call this thing off? Go back to therapy?" He wanted resolution.
"No," She spoke with firmness, unfazed by him, "It's your turn."
"What?" Rick squinted his eyes at her.
"You will live in this misery with me," Lori said each word with more venom, "I had to stand by you and take each insult, eye roll and cold shoulder because you would guilt me into staying. So, this time it's you who has the responsibility for this family and it's you who will fight for it."
He was shocked by her.
"Rick, if you think for one second that you have the right to give up because you found something new and shiny, think again." He had never seen this side of her.
Tears formed in her eyes when he spoke, "Lori... I never wanted this to happen."
"Then why did you do it?" She choked up.
He still didn't have an answer for it.
"I'm sorry," He whispered back while he cried himself, "I'm so sorry."
She pulled herself together, and turned her back to him, "I need a moment. Please leave."
Rick didn't know what was the right thing to do. So he did what she asked. He wiped his eyes and stepped out of the room. Soon as the door closed all he could hear was her sobbing. It was a sound he hadn't heard before. It was horrible, like someone had ripped her heart out.
He felt helpless.
Michonne had packed her last luggage and sighed in relief. This trip was finally coming to an end.
There was a knock on her door. She rolled her eyes as she went to open it, "Sasha, I told you two times, let's meet in the lobby-"
The words came to a stop soon as she saw him standing there.
"Rick?" She was confused as to why would he be at her door.
He came in, walking past her and she closed the door.
"I really don't have the time for this." Michonne crossed her arms over her chest in a protective manner.
Rick shook his head and mumbled, "I, eh, sorry, I shouldn't have come."
She could sense that he was having a tough time, "You told her?"
He only nodded.
Michonne approached him, trying her best to maintain her composure, "I'm sorry."
"It's not your fault." He said quietly.
"It's not yours either," She tried her best to be understanding of his situation, but chuckled awkwardly, "Well technically it is, but you know what I mean."
Rick laughed a little. Her odd sense of humor was comforting, "I'm sorry about last night."
She smiled, "There you go apologizing again."
"Yeah, but I was not fair last night," He wanted her to know it wasn't intentional to hurt her, "I didn't want to say goodbye because well it sucks to say goodbye to you."
"Rick," She warned him, "don't say that."
"It's the truth," He stood by what he said, "I like having you around. That's all."
She had to fight her inner voice as he stared back at her. She couldn't lose herself this time.
"You should go and be there for your wife." Michonne said very calmly, stepping towards the door, "I don't think this is appropriate anymore."
She was right. This was far from appropriate.
He closed the distance between them as she went to open her door, but he used his hand to push the door and it closed
She stared at him, her eyes pleading him not to make her be the bad guy.
He reached for her, but ended up hugging her. It didn't take her long to melt into the hug. It felt more intimate than the kiss at the rooftop. It felt natural to lean into him.
"Thank you," He whispered into her ear as he shamelessly inhaled her scent one last time, "For everything."
Her breath halted at his words.
He finally let her go and smiled as he tucked one of her dreads behind her ear. She searched his face for answers. She needed to keep herself together, but every single second her body yelled for her to act. He had accepted that this could be the last time they saw each other like this. He found comfort in the fact that clearly this connection, or whatever it was, was as important to her as it was to him.
They locked eyes and she caught the familiar look in his eyes. She could feel the need in her spine. Her lips were on his before he could understand what was happening. Again. This time it ended as quick as it started. She pulled back, shoving him away in panic, "I'm sorry."
He wiped her sticky lipgloss from his lips, "I guess we are even now."
She sighed at his joke, "You're still obnoxious."