Advanced warning of sensitive subjects!
July 2014
It had been four hours since they had left the hospital. Four long hours since she had told him he was wrong to do what he did and that he was as bad as Kate. Four long hours since they drove home in silence and she had gone into the living room and told him she needed space. Four long hours since she had said she didn't know if she could ever forgive him for telling people about her suicide attempt. Four long hours since she had said he had broken her trust and she didn't know if he could ever repair it.
Hearing the loud bang on the front door, he glanced to the clock on the kitchen wall before heading out to answer it. He smiled to Jo as she stood on the doorstep with a bunch of flowers "How is Stevie?" she asked. "Okay" he replied "She isn't really up for visitors". He turned as he heard Stevie speak "Making another decision for me?" she asked before smiling to Jo "Come in". He stepped aside to allow her in and she moved passing the flowers to Stevie, pulling the small blonde into a hug. Smithy sighed as Stevie gestured for Jo to go inside "Stevie" he spoke. "No Smithy" she responded. "Please Stevie, just let me explain" he sighed reaching for her hand. She quickly withdrew and pulled the living room door too and turned back to him "No, I don't want to listen anymore Smithy, after everything we did, I was already a slag, a liar but I could justify it to myself because she was a bully and now, we are too, just please leave me alone". He nodded "Okay" and watched her head into the living room before moving over and out the front door.
Hearing the door bang Stevie attempted to recompose herself before moving and sitting next to Jo. "Do you want a drink?" she asked and Jo shook her head as tears left Stevies eyes. "Come here" Jo smiled, pulling her friend into a hug. After a few moments, Stevie withdrew and sighed "I'm sorry Jo". She smiled "Don't be daft Stevie, what are friends for eh?". Stevie nodded "Yeah, thanks". Jo sighed "Can I give you a piece of advice Stevie?". Stevie nodded and Jo continued "Speak to Smithy". Stevie cut in "It's not that simple". Jo smiled "It never is Stevie but he is really struggling too". Stevie frowned "Has he said something?". Jo sighed "What he and Stone did with Kate, I'm guessing he didn't tell you I was involved". Stevies eyes widened "You?" she asked. Jo nodded "I didn't want to be, but we did it for you". Stevie sighed "Smithy is..". Jo interrupted "Stevie, Smithy is a lot of things but last night I watched him sitting on your bedroom floor and brake into a heartbroken mess because he thinks he has failed you I watched him sob Stevie, because he is so ashamed of himself, of what he has put you through, that he was to blame for" Jo paused and gestured to her wrists, Stevie sighed "I did this to protect him, because I can't imagine my life without him". Jo took her hands and tears escaped Stevies eyes "Stevie, I know you love him and he loves you so much, I will never agree with what you both did to Kate but if he is the man you are meant to spend your life with, don't let all this be in vain, is it really worth throwing everything away for?".
Stumbling in the front door at just after midnight Smithy sighed as he dropped his keys to the floor. He leant down and as he pushed to his full height he sighed as he noticed Stevie in the kitchen door way. "I'm sorry, I can go back out" he spoke "I thought you would be asleep". She sighed "I can't sleep, too much on my mind". Smithy nodded "Gotcha" before turning and opening the front door again. "Smithy" she spoke and he turned to face her "I love you" she smiled. He sighed as the tears ran slowly down her cheeks and closed the door before he moved and pulled her into a hug "I love you too". He kissed the top of her head and held her close as she sobbed into his body "Everything I have done is because I love you Stevie, you are everything to me" he moved her face and looked into her watery eyes "All I want is to do what is right by you and our baby". She nodded "Then we need to draw a line under everything and start again". He smiled "You still want this, you still want us?" he asked. "More than anything Smithy, I can't imagine not being with you".
A few weeks had passed and Smithy had tried his hardest to settle back into life with Stevie, despite his best efforts he knew she wasn't okay and that things were still bothering her. Hearing the voices in the kitchen as he headed down the stairs after his shower, he stopped in the door way listening to the women talk. "It won't be the same if you leave Jo, you are such a big part of the nick" Stevie spoke. Jo replied "I know, Sunhill has been my home for so long but I just, I don't see any other way". He knocked lightly on the door and headed inside "Sorry, I just need to grab my keys" he smiled between the two women before turning his attention to Stevie "I'm off to check in at work, I'll only be a couple of hours". Stevie smiled "I thought the skipper had given you time off?". Smithy nodded "He has, I just got a few things to sort out before I go back next week, I won't be long, ring if you need anything" he pecked her lips "I love you" she simply nodded and he smiled before saying a quick goodbye to Jo and leaving. "That seemed a bit frosty" Jo smiled. "I love him" she responded "I really do Jo". Jo sighed "So what's the problem?". Stevie smiled "Honestly, I don't know, I just don't think he sees me in the same way, I don't know if he ever will, I don't want him to be with me out of guilt" she gently touched her wrists with the small bandages still covering her scars and Jo smiled "You are joking Stevie, he has put everything on the line because he loves you and he does feel guilty but it will never change how he feels about you, have you spoken to him about this?". Stevie shook her head "What would I say?". Jo smiled "The truth, if you two don't get through this, it's all been for nothing".
Smithy arrived home about an hour and twenty minutes later. Hearing the door close, Stevie headed down the stairs and into the hall and stared at him as he took his shoes and jacket off. He smiled "You ok? " he asked. She nodded "Yeah, I'm fine" she smiled. He nodded and moved down the hall and she smiled "Smithy" he moved back and glanced up at her and she held her hand out to him "Come to bed" she spoke. He frowned "Stevie" and she took his hand "Smithy, come to bed with me". He smiled before following her upstairs to his bedroom. Laying wrapped up in each others arms a while later, Smithy placed a gentle kiss to her lips "I love you Stevie" he spoke, she smiled "I love you too". She cuddled further into him and smiled "What was so urgent at work?" she asked. He smiled "They need to find a replacement for Kate, I was needed in the meeting". She smiled up at him "Have they got anyone in mind?". Smithy nodded "I have suggested Jo" he responded "I know you really wanted it but" she interrupted "No, I think Jo would be amazing, I'm not in the right place for it, plus in a few months we are going to be having a baby". Smithy nodded "I'm so pleased, I thought you'd hate me". She pecked his lips "That's not possible Smithy". He smiled "I'm really hoping Jo takes it". Stevie sighed "I hope so too" before resting back into his body.