Chapter 18

She had been tossing and turning on her bed, recapping the incomplete conversation she and Tony have had just a few hours ago. Neither of them had been able to utter another word after Pepper's question regarding what was Tony's plan to keep her safe since they both knew there was no one perfect solution for it – perhaps none at all. She had gotten up from the couch and walked up the stairs, and he had not followed. She had taken a quick shower and shortly after she had finished and had returned to her room, he had showered as well and had returned to the couch. The fact that they were clearly avoiding each other and the conversation they needed to have made her soul clench.

User is irreplaceable, she thought as she again tossed on the bed, unable to find a comfortable position to sleep in. It had finally dawned on both of them that the consequences of their union were not as maneuverable as they had once thought them to be. While most of the powerful enemies they had fought in the past were as decommissioned as the Rescue suit, neither teenager was under the false impression that new ones would never appear. There were always crazy people out there wanting to make a name for themselves by trying to take down Iron Man, and now that everyone knew who he really was and what Pepper was to him, a target sign had inadvertently been painted on her forehead.

And then there was Gene.

Pepper sighed loudly and moved again. The possibility that Gene would follow her for the rest of her life bothered her only slightly since worse things had happened to her while in captivity, but she doubted Tony would be thrilled to marry her AND Gene. There was a great possibility that neither of them would ever be able to find a cure for her possession or illusions, whatever it was, and that could only mean that Pepper would forever be bound to the recurring image of the deceased Khan.

Who would want to be with a woman that had already been claimed by another otherworldly man, although not physically? Who would want to live with a person that was not herself half of the time? Who would want to spend their lifetime with a woman that was attached at the hip to a man's worst enemy? All these questions echoed in Pepper's mind.

Certainly not Tony Stark, Pepper thought as she shifted once more to face the opened door of her room only to see the object of her affection staring back at her. He looked no better rested than her, and had she not been so distracted with her thoughts she would have heard him knock lightly on the door before he had opened it. She did not invite him to come in but she did not ask him to leave either, leaving it up to him to take the next step.

When she continued to silently stare at him, the inventor sighed, walked inside the room, closed the door behind him and walked around her bed. Even then when she was yet to ask him to leave he hesitated, staring down at the empty spot on the mattress that he had already used in the past. His eyes landed on her back and he silently asked for permission by nudging the edge of the bed. When Pepper did not move further away or closer to him, Tony finally climbed inside the bed and got under the covers with her.

Pepper closed her eyes and exhaled; something inside of her felt more relaxed by his mere presence in her room. He did not move his position in the bed for a long time, and she knew that he was just testing his boundaries with her. She also knew that he could not possibly be comfortable in the position he was in but that he was refusing to get comfortable lest she eventually asked him to leave. After another moment which felt like eternity and a day, Pepper finally cleared her throat and whispered to him.

"I'm tainted, Tony. I'm tainted with blood, tears, and Gene. I'm not as innocent as you knew me to be."

The inventor finally readjusted his position in the bed, opting to lie on his back and stare at the ceiling. "You haven't told me everything that happened while you were gone, have you?"

Even though the tone of his voice was clearly an inquiry, Pepper heard the sureness of his statement, telling her that he suspected as much that she had kept from him the worst of her time with Gene and Axonn-Karr. "No. Not the half of it."

"Why?" His voice was calm but demanding at the same time. He was tired of the riddles and games.

"Because it's painful, shameful, and it will change the way you look at me. I knew I should've told you before we started this, but I'd be lying if I said I don't want it as much as you do. For two years I waited for you to see me the way I saw you, and now that I have it, it's all based on a lie."

"But you still love me," he asked.

"I do," she responded in a heartbeat.

"Then why the hell does anything else matter, Pepper?" He exhaled in an exhausted tone, turned to his left side and slid to her side of the bed. He did not dare to touch her just yet, but he did pull his body as close to hers as he could. "I'm tired of trying to convince you that nothing that you did while gone is going to change what I feel for you. You could've slaughtered a damn town and I would still come home to you."

"I did slaughter a village, or a town, whatever." She deadpanned. It was easier to let him know the atrocities she committed in the name of stopping Gene from possessing all of the rings when she was not directly staring at him; even the ones that made her no better than the criminals he chased himself.

"Were there any kids?"

"None left after I was done with them." She responded and she felt Tony take in a sharp breath. "There's only a black circle where the village used to be. I burned it to the ground."

"How…" he swallowed hard. "How many did you…?"

"I lost count."

"How did that help stop Gene?"

"Is that what you really want to know, or are you actually asking me to give you a good reason not to think the worst of me?"

"I want to know why Axonn-Karr thought it was righteous to make you do the dirty work for him."

"He was there, too. We did it together, many times, across galaxies. Gene traveled a lot."

"Pepper, I didn't…I never imagined it was that bad. I mean, you said you guys had to fight but…"

"But you thought we only fought Gene."

"Yes," he admitted and ventured to lay a hand on her hip. When she did not push him away, he pressed his forehead to the back of her head and curled his fingers around the exposed flesh on the curve of her hip and waist. She was yet to remember that she was not wearing a pajama set tonight, but a red nighty, leaving her body very visible to the young man. "Is this why you said you're tainted? Is this why you didn't want us to get involved?"

"Yup. I thought I could forget it or at least ignore it, but every time I see Gene, it just keeps coming back. I thought I could back to being normal, Tony, but I don't think it's going to happen any time soon – or at all."

"You were never normal, Pepper, and neither am I."

Pepper chuckled. "Maybe that's why I fell for you."

Tony pulled himself closer to the redhead so that his bare chest was against her back. She melted in his arms that surrounded her waistline, and he settled his head on the same pillow as hers. With eyes still closed, Pepper laid her right arm on his, and readjusted her left one under her head.

"What if I never get Gene out of me?" She asked after a moment of silence between them.

"Let's not talk about Gene," he replied and pressed a kiss on her neck. "Let's just rest and regroup in the morning. We shouldn't let him be the reason we don't sleep at night."

"But Tony…"

"No, Pepper. No buts. Gene is dead and we are alive. He has no right to ruin our lives. We'll figure it out. Maybe not tonight, or the next month, but we will figure it out."

"But, what if we…"

Pepper's retort died in her lips when Tony moved her body so that she was lying on her back in order for him to kiss her. The surprise that shook her with his gesture evaporated almost instantly, and she concentrated on enjoying the attention from the billionaire. She knew her father would probably not approve of the teenagers making out at night – or at all – and on her bed, nonetheless, but she needed the contact to reassure herself that Tony was still as committed as he was yesterday.

Just as the other times, Tony took his time with her, alternating between kissing her lips, various parts of her face and even her neck and shoulders. The last part was new to both, but it was not unwelcome by either of them. His hands also traveled to her thighs and the side of her breasts, but did not dare to actually touch any of the wonders that were yet unexplored by him.

Pepper's hands also roamed around on his back, his chest, shoulders and his hips, careful at all times not to brush any part of his body she was not comfortable with yet. While these interactions were quite more intimate than what their short-lived romantic relationship should have allowed, it still amazed them how easily they had moved along to the next step of their mutual physical discovery. It almost felt as if they had been dating for years and not just a few weeks and, surprisingly, the leaps they were taking with their relationship did not feel rushed.

Besides, making out after a fight was better than making up.

When their lips finally parted again, Tony pulled back his body that had at some point ended up completely on top of hers, and settled on his side of the bed by lying face down. His right arm then rested lazily on Pepper's stomach and his head faced hers. "You talk too much, Pep," he smirked and his fingernails lightly scratched the side of her stomach.

"And you worry too much, Tony."

"Only about you."

"You shouldn't worry about me."

"Inevitable, Potts."

"Fixable, Stark."

"Fixable? How exactly?"

"How about I show you tomorrow why you don't need to worry about me?"

Tony narrowed his eyes at her even though she probably would not be able to see them very well. "Are you going to threaten me with driving me somewhere again if I do worry about you?"

"What? No, Mr. Wimp!" she spat. "Today's drive was just part of the plan Tony. We were going around in circles in the main plaza of the town…for about twenty minutes."

"What? You mean to say you were PRETENDING to drive badly?"

"Yup. I'm a very good driver, actually. Ask Marsha. In fact, my driving instructor bumped me to an advanced level and I will be finishing the course earlier than expected."

"That explains a lot," he mused. "I remember that when Rhodey and I taught you how to drive, you weren't swerving around like a maniac, let alone using pedestrians as target practice. I should've known, huh?"

"Yes, you should've! But I'm glad you didn't. It would've ruined the surprise."

"I still can't believe I got to hang around Dr. Reed Richards as if we had known each other for years. Oh, you know? I almost forgot to tell you! He said he would help me analyze the Extremis virus to see if I could be unconsciously affecting other computers."

Pepper was taken aback by this and turned her body completely to her right so that she was facing the inventor. "Are you serious? Did you tell him why you wanted that?"

Tony shook his head. "I just told him I wanted to make sure there are no unknown side effects."

"Oh, alright," Pepper breathed a sigh of relief. "So, when is he going to help you?"

"Next weekend, but that means I can't come here. He's going back to New York tomorrow night."

"That's alright. We can see each other the weekend after that."

"Actually, I was hoping I could take you back with me tomorrow."

"What? Back to New York?"

Tony shrugged as much as it could be done while still lying in bed. "Yeah, it'd be nice, don't you think? I can take you out on a decent date and we can spend the entire week together rather than just two or three days. Besides, I'd like you there with me when I go see Dr. Richards. You're my research person, right? You need to be there to spot any flaws in our logic." He tapped her twice on the nose with his right index finger.

Pepper scrunched her nose and smiled, thinking about what her agenda looked like for this week. Her only worry for now had been her driving classes, but since she had been bumped up to near completion of the course, she only had to go once a week. She figured she could skip the one class she had this week and then go twice once she returned. Her studying could take place anywhere, and her reviewing of Iron Man's systems would be even more efficient if done directly from the Makluan temple. The only thing she truly had to make sure of before she left was to let her dad and Marsha know she would not be home until Sunday of the next week.

"I don't see why not," she finally said.

"Now you're talking sense!"

Pepper chuckled. "Riiiight. Anyway, speaking of sense: what did you mean by a 'decent date'?"

Tony shrugged again. "Well, you know, to a nice restaurant, or a walk in the park."

"You mean the same things we can do here?"

"I don't know much of what's around here, Pepper."

"Guess you're right. How about I take you to my favorite place here tomorrow, and then you take me to your favorite place when we go to New York?"

"What?" Tony yelled, startling the redhead. "You mean to say that you have a favorite place that is not with me?" He asked with a mock hurt tone. "When were you planning on telling me this?"

"Now, Drama Queen?" Pepper laughed. "My mom was actually born here in California, and there is a place she liked a lot; a beach not far from here – if we take your suit. I haven't been to the beach in ages, anyway, so it'd be nice to go, don't you think?"

"The beach, huh? Are you going to wear a bikini?" He winked at her.

"A bikini? Mmhh…maybe…I'm sure plenty of guys would like to see me in one."

"Staring with this one," Tony pointed to his own chest. "Actually, now that I think about it: no, no bikinis, Potts."

"What? Why?"

"I don't want to have to beat up other guys for staring at you."

Pepper slammed her forehead with her hand. "Like you beat up that guy you hit with the car?"

"Precisely! But, you know, it would be with the suit, not the car. Driving a car on the sand would be just ridiculous."

"Jeez, that makes it so much better," she rolled her eyes. "And here I was worried that you were going to do something incredibly stupid. If only there was a way you didn't have to beat anyone up."

"If only…" he agreed with a small smile. "Hey, Pepper. I know something we can do while we're in New York."

"What?"

"Halloween!"

"Hallo…what?" Pepper stood up on the bed and leaned toward the nightstand on her side. She grabbed her phone and brought up the calendar and scoffed. "Well, I'll be! It's this Friday!"

"Yeah. I haven't dressed up in ages."

"Tony, you better not be thinking to dress up as Iron Man for Halloween."

"No."

"Or War Machine."

"Err…"

"Or in any of your armors."

"Huh…this is…inconvenient."

"Oh, Tony!" Pepper giggled, which had been exactly what Tony had been waiting for. "I guess we could go trick-o-treating. Or maybe to a haunted house!"

"Pepper, I don't think Obadiah Stane's or Justin Hammer's houses are available for that. But I think Rhona's House for the Perpetually Insane will be available."

"Tony!" Pepper chuckled despite her attempt to control her laugher. "That's terrible!"

"And yet, you're still laughing about it."

"How can I not? It's funny! Terrible…but funny."

"And could be absolutely true," he added with a chuckle of his own. Their giggles eventually died down, and Tony's face turned solemn again. He brushed away stray locks from Pepper's face, and kept his palm on her cheek. "But, in all seriousness, Pepper, I don't care what you had to do to survive while you were gone. You didn't have a choice, and I didn't prevent your kidnapping. I'm as responsible as Gene and the Makluan guardian for what you had to endure, and I honestly don't give a rat's ass if you had to eat newborns while you fought to stay alive."

"That didn't happen, thank God."

"And if Gene had taken advantage of you, while it would've hurt me, I wouldn't think any less of you. Heck, you can be carrying his kid for all I care, and I still wouldn't leave. It would royally piss me off that I can't beat him for it, but it wouldn't change the fact that we're together now. Trust me, Pepper. I'm here to stay."

Pepper shifted her face so that she could place a small kiss on his palm that was still on her cheek. Tony then leaned down and kissed her forehead before they both adjusted their bodies so that they could fall asleep. Tomorrow would be a busy day traveling to the beach and packing for their trip to New York, and they needed all the rest they could get. That night, Tony went to sleep excited about spending the week with Pepper, and Pepper hardly slept after Tony's last words brought a reminder to her mind: she was two months late.