Chapter 21

"Finn," Ben called to his friend, jogging up to him in the mess hall. He was just placing his tray down when he spun around to see Ben calling to him.

"Hey, Ben. Morning" he replied, smiling warmly. Ben had caught up to him and they were now walking in stride together.

"I think I have an idea where we can find you a kyber crystal," Ben said, his face beaming. "Came to me in a dream last night."

"Dreaming about me, eh?" Finn laughed, attempting to hide his excitement at Ben's news. Ever since he began his Force training with him and Rey, he had wanted a kyber crystal of his own. But with Ilum being destroyed, he knew they were very hard to find.

"Not quite," Ben laughed as he grabbed something quick and portable to eat on the way to the Force sensitives camp. "I've been thinking about this kyber crystal thing for a while now, trying to figure out where to find some," he said, breaking off a piece of his biscuit and popping it in his mouth.

"Back when I was with the First Order," he continued, "I didn't really give much thought to where things came from. If I wanted something, someone magically made it appear."

"I bet," Finn chuckled, remembering the days of Kylo Ren, a man you would not want to disappoint. Looking at his friend now, he realized how very far he was from that person. Ben Solo was truly a new man, an evolution of who he once was.

"Anyway," Ben continued, breaking off another piece of his breakfast, "last night in my dream I was on Utapau. No idea why, but I found myself in a cave filled with crystals. When I touched one I heard the same song that Rey and I heard when we found ours on Ahch-To. When I woke up I had the overwhelming need to tell you about it."

"Didn't the Jedi find a large deposit on Utapau back during the Clone Wars?" Finn asked excitedly.

"They did," Ben replied. "Records say it was completely depleted after the Jedi left but…"

"What if they missed some?" Finn was really excited now, unable to hide it as it bubbled up through him.

"This is a long shot," Ben said softly, not wanting to get his friend's hopes up. "But my dreams tend to mean something. The unmanipulated ones that is."

"I still want to try," Finn said, a huge smile gracing his face. While he was grateful to be using Leia's old saber, he had long dreamed of having one of his own. One that he crafted with his own two hands.

"Good," Ben smiled in return, clapping his friend on the back. "Let's go see if Poe will grant us leave for a few days."

. . . . .

It was impossible for Poe to say no to Finn once he saw just how excited he was. Thankfully a trip to Utapau wouldn't take them away from the base for too long. Rey and Rose were both incredibly supportive of their quest, with Rey promising to help watch Lina putting Finn's worries aside.

Ben wandered back to the crew area of the Falcon, having set the ship on autopilot. Finn was busy unpacking their provisions into the ship's tiny kitchen when Ben rounded the corner.

"Need a hand?" Ben asked.

"Nope," Finn replied, "just finished up actually." The pair sat at the small table the Falcon had, settling in for the journey.

"So Rose was really okay with you taking off?" Ben asked with a grin. Not only did she have a busy toddler to wrangle, but she was also over five months pregnant. Ben knew she had her hands full.

"When Rey offered to stay with Rose at our place, that tipped the scales in my favour," Finn replied with a smile. "She would have said yes anyway, because she's amazing like that, but having the help made it easier."

"Rey adores Lina," Ben laughed in response. "It was an easy decision for her too."

The pair sat in silence for a long while, listening to the sounds of the ship. Ben was convinced that the Falcon had its own signature hum, something he could pick out of a lineup of sounds with ease. There were times that the ship still made him uneasy with memories of his mother and father soaked into the very walls. But despite that, it still felt like home to him in many ways.

His mind went to Rey and the journey they were hoping to embark on themselves. The idea of being a parent never occurred to Ben when he donned the name Kylo Ren. His focus was singular in those days, seeking nothing but power in an attempt to find something resembling peace. Little did he know he would find it in the very place he was encouraged never to go. Love.

"Did becoming a father change things for you, Finn?" Ben inquired. He was secretly glad to get the young man alone for this very reason. He didn't have his own father to talk to and knowing that Finn was walking this path made him the perfect person to open up to.

"Oh man it changes everything," Finn replied with blunt honesty. He chuckled quietly to himself as he pondered his next words. "Honestly man, there is nothing like it. Holding your child for the first time. Seeing them walk and learn how to talk. It's like magic."

Ben smiled softly, looking down at his hands. Finn was ready to be a father from day one of his marriage to Rose and he never kept that secret.

"You guys thinking about kids?" Finn questioned as he watched Ben absorb the information.

Ben's gaze caught Finn's as he was unable to hide the slight blush that crossed his cheeks. "Yeah," he replied, smiling a wide toothy grin. "We've been talking about it for a while now, but then the Force intervened and well…"

"Okay what does that mean?" Finn laughed, picturing some kind of immaculate conception Force style. Ben laughed and quickly told his friend about Rey's recent visit to the med bay and what prompted it.

"That's both crazy and amazing," Finn chuckled as Ben finished up the story. His face softened a little, knowing the fears that were likely going through Ben's mind.

"You'll be an amazing father Ben," he said. "You know that right?"

Ben hung his head as he pondered Finn's words. "I hope so," he replied quietly, suddenly overcome with worry and uncertainty.

"Ben," Finn said carefully. "I've seen you with the Force sensitives and with my own daughter. You're a natural."

Ben smiled in response, humbled by Finn's words. "That means a lot Finn," he said honestly. "Thank you."

They sat quietly again for a time, enjoying the comfortable silence between them. Ben was grateful for it as he wasn't one for small talk. Having people in his life that he can just be with and not feel the need to fill the space with idle chatter was a true blessing. After a time more questions formulated in Ben's mind. More that he was curious about.

"Did things change with you and Rose?" he asked, hoping he wasn't crossing any lines in terms of their friendship. Finn smiled at the questions, quelling any of Ben's worries.

"Totally," he laughed, "but mostly in amazing and good ways. We communicate better and really work on things together as a family. Plus there is nothing like watching the woman you love give birth to your child. Makes you realize how much tougher they are than you." He smiled as he thought about his wife and child, clearly incredibly happy with his life.

"Time alone is hard to come by though," he added with a knowing look. "And you prioritize sleep a lot more," he laughed. "But we make it work."

"That's good," Ben smiled in response, truly happy to hear that things were still good between his two friends.

"It's totally worth it Ben," Finn said finally, with a huge grin. "And I get to do it all over again soon."

"Very soon," Ben added, raising his eyebrows in acknowledgement. Both men returned to silence, as they kicked their feet out in front of them, enjoying the hum of the ship as it took them to Utapau.