So I've been hitting a creative block with some of my works lately, if anyone has any suggestions please let me know. It's much appreciated.
Sasha's cheeks burned, her face glowing red with embarrassment, anxiety pooling in her stomach, her body trembling. People made this sound so easy, whenever she heard classmates talking about this they made it sound so easy and fun. Everyone she knew was dating someone, it was obvious they were having sex, most people in their generation were pretty open about it. However, actually enacting it in real life, finally reaching that point in their relationship, it was such a strange feeling. None of this felt real, like if she pinched herself it would all be over. She felt like she was on a stage, all eyes were on her, making a huge step, her heart hammering in her chest, licking her lips. Her brown hair loose, falling down her back, hiding under her fringe like a curtain. She tried to calm herself, thinking of something soothing to ease her nerves, for crying out loud she was an adult. She felt so stupid for feeling this nervous, I mean this was normal progression in any relationship, but this was her first time. Among the many things she was teased for, her lack of a relationship was a hot topic for ages. People mocking her for being naive, obsessed with food, being undateable, no crushes, no love letters. The only people she spent time with were her best friends Jean and Connie and people always assumed she was dating or sleeping with both of them. Until she started dating Mikasa, she hadn't had a relationship before. She still had hesitations about being nude in front of Mikasa, no thanks to the endless bullying and harassment. The cruel words of her bullies still lingered, making her question herself, whether she was attractive or had any sex appeal. I mean, Mikasa was a goddess among their peers, the beauty that everyone admired and wanted. She'd lost count of how many love letters and confessions Mikasa got in high school and even college before people knew they were dating. While in the past Sasha had body issues and was never that popular. Mikasa perched on the opposite side of the bed, staring at Sasha intently, also exposed. Her head bowed, hiding her face under her hair like a curtain, watching Sasha intently, like a wolf about to pounce on a rabbit. Gripping the bedsheets between her fingers, she hadn't said a word this entire time. Though Sasha was used to Mikasa being introverted and shy, now was the time to be clear in communications. Wondering if they should just stop and forget about it. "Um... Mikasa, are you ok? I... we don't have to..." she trailed off. There was no rush, no pressure to do this, they were already dating and established as a couple. She loved Mikasa with all her heart, she had never felt as safe and loved with another human being before. They loved and trusted one another, they had faced many hurdles and come back stronger. If she wasn't in the mood, she wasn't up to this whatsoever, they could just cuddle.
Mikasa shifted, she was in awe of Sasha, her soft brown hair tumbling down her shoulders, her honey tanned skin, her curves and her breasts, she felt her brain was short circuiting. Back when they were in high school, she had fawned over Sasha to the extent Eren teased her about her obvious crush. She had never been good at conveying her feelings openly and still struggled with social anxiety. She felt like the luckiest woman alive, but she knew Sasha would take this the wrong way. She was equally as embarrassed about all of this, mustering up her courage to find the words "I... Gomen, you're just so pretty" she mumbled. Sasha had to be the most perfect person she knew, the way she was the human equivalent of sunshine. She'd thought about this for ages, she'd lost count about how many daydreams she had about Sasha even before they began dating. But this was different from the fantasy, this was real life, the girl she loved was sat in front of her naked, this felt like a dream come true. She just needed a moment to adjust.
Sasha was caught off guard by this, her cheeks flushing pink, nobody had ever called her pretty before, she felt panic fill her chest. Mikasa was the most loving, tentative partner she had ever had, making her feel like a princess. But to see someone usually so confident, driven and brave so nervous and awkward, it was a very human moment. "I... I mean, wait... Mikasa... are you... embarassed?" she stammered. She was trying to hide herself as to not make it obvious how she was really feeling. It was Mikasa at her most vulnerable, nervous and shy, which was adorable.
Mikasa stiffened, bowing her head further, hugging a pillow shyly, peering up at Sasha through her hair, pouting sulkily. She'd faced worse moments in her life and handled them easily, she had always been someone who was always prepared for anything. But with this, she was running into it blind and she was scared shitless. Her face was flushed bright red, she looked like a strawberry, she needed to make her girlfriend understand. She grabbed Sasha's hand, pressing it to her chest to feel her heartbeat, Sasha blushed, ignoring how close her hand was to Mikasa's breasts. Before she sensed how fast Mikasa's heart was beating, despite how quiet she was, she was also nervous. She was even trembling, her hands shaking. "The girl I love is sitting in front of me looking adorable, I'm supposed to be excited aren't I?" she protested. This was the happiest moment of her life, albeit the most nerve wracking moment, she had no idea what she was supposed to be doing.
Sasha stared, she had never seen Mikasa so flustered before, I mean she was always cute but the first time she had seen her so awkward. She was stumbling over her words, hiding her face in a pilllow and hiding like she was scared of being caught. Mikasa was lowering her guard and opening up to how she was truly feeling, she smiled fondly, scooching closer to Mikasa to cup her face fondly. Mikasa's eyes had never been so black, so human and so expressive, like the night sky in two orbs. "I feel the same way too Mikasa, I'm scared too. But I love you so much and this feels so right" she reassured her. She wouldn't want to be with anyone else, she wouldn't change this for the world. They were sharing this experience together, a raw human moment.
Mikasa blushed, cupping Sasha's hand with her own, nuzzling against it, god Sasha had her tied around her finger. A human who understood her emotions so well and made her feel so safe, Sasha was her home, her safe person. She could spend the rest of her life in her arms "You better be ready then" she huffed. Sasha blinked, before Mikasa pounced on her, pinning her to the bed. Sasha stunned into silence briefly as she was pinned under Mikasa, before she burst into uncontrollable laughter, hugging Mikasa tightly.
"Wha... what am I supposed to do?" Sasha stammered, how was she supposed to touch her, where did she want to be touched. Everyone was different, was she supposed to be the one to make the first move? Maybe they could put on some mood music to relax the nerves, maybe just got with what felt right? God, why had nobody ever prepared her for this? Why wasn't there a manual? The education on sex with someone was never as helpful for queer people, this was stuff you had to figure out on your own. She had no idea what she was doing. The sheets pulled around her body, while Mikasa loomed over her. She had never had sex with anyone before, Mikasa was her first girlfriend and partner.
"Do what comes naturally" Mikasa soothed, just touching her, communicating what she wanted, what she enjoyed. That was what was most helpful in these situations above all else. They could start as slow as she needed, just go with what felt right and comfortable. There was no need to try and impress her or attempt something she wasn't comfortable with.
"So... kissing?" Sasha babbled, she enjoyed kissing Mikasa and that was easy to do. It would help relax them both and encourage anything else to happen. She knew how sex worked she was just nervous.
Mikasa chuckled, Sasha was beyond adorable right now which made it even harder to hold herself back. Being able to touch Sasha, worship her and appreciate her body was easy. But Sasha was still learning, still adjusting, still figuring it all out. Anxiety made it hard to function, your brain turning to mush so focus was never happening "We can start there" she agreed. She knew how to touch Sasha, she knew how to caress and love her, she knew exactly what to do. But then everyone was different with their experiences.
"It's so easy for you" Sasha argued, Mikasa had more experience than she had, she was also the top of their class in all her subjects. Her uncle made sure to educate her on all subjects and was blunt about how adult relationships worked. Her aunt, or her uncle's girlfriend Hanji was a scientist, her main subject being biology, helping educate Mikasa on all she wanted to know. Mikasa had an unfair advantage in this area, which she lacked.
"Just do what comes naturally, we're both girls our anatomy is the same" Mikasa teased, she just needed to go with what felt right, how she would make herself feel good. How touching someone would make her feel. They were no different in how things worked, she was just nervous. She didn't need to rush anything. She loved Sasha, she knew how to make her happy, when you loved someone the rest just came naturally. Working on it together, communication and respecting boundaries. They could figure this out together, improving as time went by.
Sasha pouted, she was being unfair but she was right, she didn't need to explain how or why she loved Mikasa, it was just so easy. It was a feeling, it was an emotion. Maybe if she used that same mentality with this, they could work it out as they went along. She wrapped her arms around Mikasa's back, stroking her skin as they touched "I'm not as brave as you" she protested. She was nervous, she just got lost in Mikasa's eyes, how intense they were, turning her to mush. She wanted nothing more than to lose herself in Mikasa, to feel such happiness and bliss that she forgot how to think.
Mikasa hummed, cupping Sasha's chest and squeezing, causing the latter to gasp "See, it's easy" Mikasa teased. Admittedly she was going to have fun with this, teasing Sasha, seeing how many noises she could make and enjoying her body. She wanted to be a little mean, but only in a way that they would enjoy together. Sasha had no idea of how cute she was, how sweet she was and how much Mikasa wanted to make her cry.
"Meanie" Sasha pouted, she had a feeling she would be asking Mikasa for guidance through this, but then hearing her girlfriends voice sounded utterly sexy. Hearing her voice, hearing her beg for more. She couldn't wait to see all her responses and reactions, imprinting them on her memory. This would be a moment she would never forget.
Mikasa smiled "We can start there" she smiled
Mikasa cupped Sasha's chest, groping and squeezing her breast, kissing her back tenderly. She was the sweetest thing she had ever tasted, nothing could compare to her. Not pastries, not cake, not ice cream, she was like honey. No matter how many people made fun of Sasha, bullied her or demeaned her on her appearance, Mikasa knew how perfect she was. She loved every inch of Sasha, she knew just how to caress her body and make her feel good. Sasha gripped the sheets, her head bowed as moans escaped her lips, her back arching as pleasure flooded her. She felt like she was losing her mind, now she knew why everyone made such a big deal of this. She felt selfish being the one to receive so much, but she kept losing herself to the feeling, her brain turning to mush. Mikasa's tender yet passionate grip on her breast, her fingers working magically at her pussy, she felt her body trembling, her legs shaking, she couldn't stop her voice. She could drown in these sensations, the way Mikasa played her like an instrument and made her feel so alive. How was Mikasa so good at this? Was she good at everything? Were the Ackerman's also innately good at sex? It was like Mikasa had always been innately gifted.
Mikasa's hands were so soft, so intimate and yet so intense, knowing just how to touch her and just what she wanted. Patient, loving and yet understanding, never pushing past her boundaries, always checking in to make sure she was ok. Loving words of reassurance and affection, making her feel so loved. Tears spiking her eyes as she was overcome with sensations. It felt so different than when she touched herself "M... Mi... kasa... ah..." Sasha gasped.
"You sound so cute Sasha... so cute... my sunshine" Mikasa praised, Sasha's voice was like honey, her voice was the most beautiful thing she had ever heard. She loved hearing it, burning into her brain like a song. The way she begged for more, the way she responded to her touch, the way she shivered. People always saw Sasha as a dork, an outcast, the unpopular girl, the goof, the one obsessed with food. Mikasa was a black cat, someone who was introverted and often moody. But Sasha was a golden retriever, bright, happy and loyal. They never knew how much she healed Mikasa's broken soul. What they didn't see was her sunshine, her optimism, her loyalty, her passion, all the things Mikasa loved.
"Scheibe... your fingers... feels... good... oh god.." Sasha panted, the better she felt, the looser her tongue became, cursing in nonsensical German. All she could think about was how Mikasa was touching her, peeling away her layers, breaking down her walls. Worshipping every inch of her, making her feel so beautiful. She never had a praise kink until she met Mikasa, making her melt. It was hard to believe this was Mikasa's first time, how easily she fell into the role, it was like she had done this before. Maybe her instinct had merely kicked in and she had already learned the steps, while Sasha still stumbled around.
Mikasa smirked, Sasha was so cute right now and only she could see it, nobody else knew this side of Sasha, how seductive she could be. The way her cheeks were flushed bright red, her chest heaving heavily as she gasped for air, her eyes hooded and cloaked with lust. She hated when people bullied and spoke badly of Sasha, let alone when Sasha felt so insecure she felt unloveable. Sasha was like a fairy sprite come to life, so cute, casting a spell on her heart. Her soft brown doe eyes, her freckles, she loved it all. She turned Sasha's face to look at her, able to see her reactions up close. She saw Sasha's eyes widen, watching her closely, hungrily, needy, desperate "So cute... all mine... Ich liebe dich" she mumbled. She would fight hell and back for Sasha, she would always protect her. Sasha had her heart and she knew it, nobody else could come close.
Sasha shivered, Mikasa felt her tighten around her fingers and smiled, the way her body reacted to being told she was loved. Mikasa knew how much her words meant to her, how much she loved being reassured and doted on. Sasha would always support Mikasa, the way she cuddled up to her when she was lonely or needy. The way she nuzzled up to her like a cat looking for warmth. Mikasa hungrily took her, claimed her, needed her, her body language marking her, owning her. Please don't leave me, I need you. "I...Ich liebe dich auch... so sehr" Sasha panted. Mikasa kissed Sasha, enjoying the sweetness of her lips, kissing Sasha was like a drug, she could never get enough. The silent message of I love you, the way they instinctively sought the other out. Sasha arched her back, moaning against her lips, her first time, a moment she would never truly forget.
Sasha collapsed against the pillows, she felt elated, excited, exhausted, out of her own body. Her legs were still trembling, she felt herself laughing nervously, filled with endorphins. Nothing could have prepared her for that, it was messy, awkward and nerve wracking, but perfect. Nothing like how she imagined and yet so much better, she felt so different, educated, mature. Mikasa had touched every part of her, sending sensations through her body, teaching her things about herself, marking every inch of her. Oh god how was she going to explain this to Connie and Jean at college? They would notice and ask questions, maybe playfully tease her a little. She knew she had hickies all over her, ones that would be evident for a while, not that she minded. She laughed in amusement, reflecting on what was to come, what was expected to happen. She knew girls from her class would make some bullshit up but they would be too scared after what Mikasa did last time. Knowing the one that left those marks would be Mikasa. She brushed her sweaty hair from her face, allowing her body to relax and recover, staring at the ceiling as her mind wandered.
Mikasa settled next to her, watching her closely, brushing her hair from her face, her expression tender but watchful. She couldn't get over how perfect Sasha was, her cheeks still flushed and red. She would be fuzzy headed for a while, tired but she would feel so much better. If she wanted to take a nap, they could cuddle for a while. "Hey, are you feeling ok? Thirsty? Hungry... what do you need?" she asked, she would need to hydrate, maybe get some snacks, she didn't need to push herself so soon.
Sasha smiled wearily, Mikasa was so thoughful and sweet it hurt, she knew she wouldn't be walking around anytime soon "water would be great" she asked. It felt nice to be babied, though she did want a shower soon. She wrapped herself in the blankets, making herself as comfortable as possible. Mikasa smiled, kissing her cheek before slowly getting to her feet, grabbing a discarded pyjama shirt from the ground and pulling it over her head, walking towards the kitchen for water. Sasha felt jealous of how Mikasa was still able to move around while her legs felt like jelly "How... how can you still walk?" Sasha asked. She knew if she tried she would make a fool of herself, going down instantly like a newborn calf.
"Ackerman stamina" Mikasa winked, her body was built differently, she could take a punch, she could handle a few rounds no problem. What fazed most people barely harmed her. It was both a gift and a blessing, but at a time like this it had its perks. It meant she could have more fun with Sasha and walk it off without an issue, at least for a lot longer than her girlfriend. It meant she could joke about this later on, teasing her girlfriend about it a little.
Sasha pouted, she was having fun with this and she could tell "So what? Everyone in your family is a superhuman?" she huffed. She had lived in the countryside her whole life, she was raised with foraging and hunting knowledge, she'd raised livestock. So how the hell did her girlfriend have better stamina than she did? It didn't feel fair.
"Pretty much" Mikasa teased, they were just capable of things that normal people weren't. She could handle fights and other feats without issue, she was a fast learner with high grades.
"I'm not going to last" Sasha joked, for all that good sex was something she would happily be on board with. She had a feeling that Mikasa would walk this off a lot easier than she would. Mikasa laughed in amusement from the kitchen.