Through dirt and shadow, I grow

I'm reaching light through the struggle

Chapter 36

The Seed #1

She had looked at him with a blank face when he told her, remained silent and unmoving as she processed what he had said to her. It frightened him at first seeing his sister acting, or not acting like that. He'd been down to his last nerve thread from going insane before she finally said something back to him, and it had been but one small word.

"Ok," her voice was dry and weak in tone, her facial expression never changed. He looked at her, waited for something more. She eventually noticed his gaze but couldn't quite understand what he wanted from her. "What is it?"

"When?"

She pondered at it for a short moment. "This Saturday, at 8am," she told him in the same voice as before, and then she turned around and left him standing there, headed into the kitchen to prepare something for them to eat. He hadn't known what she was going to make at first, nor had he really cared. That hadn't been important to him at the time. What had been important to him was the very fact that he had given her his word, his word that she was from that moment and forward allowed to teach him how to survive on his own…

…which bring us to this moment right here which is awesome since I don't have to wreck my brain trying to figure out how to write something in a past sense. I've no idea what I'm doing nor if I'm doing it correctly or not. But hey, that's life.

The sun is rising slowly but surely, shedding light over the neighborhood as it announces the time to wake up. At least for those who wants to wake up bright and early on the weekend. The air is still fresh from the night and the birds are chirping amongst the trees. Edd takes a moment to divert his attention and looks around for the birds, hoping to see some of them in the sunlight. A smile spreads widely across his face when he does manage to spot one. It's too far away for him to be able to tell which kind it is, but that doesn't matter too much to him at the moment. He saw it and it was beautiful. Turning his attention back to where it previously was, he follows Mel as she walks through the forest by the creek. She's carrying a backpack filled with things, though he's not entirely sure what things. He knows there's water bottles and some food because she made sure to pack that just before they left. As for the other stuff she's packed, well, he's got no idea. It kind of makes him a little curious but mostly it makes him feel worried. Just what is she planning? What is she going to make him do? She's going to train him, he knows that much since he pretty much asked her to, but what… what counts as training to someone like her? And they're out so early on a Saturday even though she loves sleeping in on the weekends, meaning they're going to be out here for at least the whole morning, right? Or maybe even longer? Will they be home before the sun sets again? He looks up from the backpack and watches his sister as a whole as she walks in front of him. She doesn't like mornings, and yet she's willing to do this for him, to teach him how to defend himself. Hopefully he won't have to use this knowledge, but given who the people of danger are, and with the wisdom from both Mel and Rolf, he knows better than to hope for that anymore. He just wishes, you know?

They've reached the far end of the forest, the very edge of where the junkyard begins. Mel stops in her tracks for a moment, looks around for a bit before she seems to decide this is good enough. Edd watches her in silence as she walks up to a tree and places her backpack on the ground by it. Careful and silent as he is, he follows her to the tree to put his water bottle down next to her backpack. When he looks up at her he finds her smiling at him with her hands on her hips. He… he's not quite sure why she's smiling at him like that.

"Umm…"

"Ready?" she asks him, eyebrow raised and smile still intact.

For what? "I-I guess?" He tries to play it off with a smile, but it turns more into a… well… a discomfort to see.

She looks at him for a few seconds, her smile slowly melting a little bit. Something's on her mind. She reaches out and gently holds his jaw in place as she grows closer to his face, tilting it a little bit so that she can look at his ear better. It's only been a few days since the incident, and she can only be glad that they haven't gone after him again up until now. The hole in his ear seems to be healing, though she really wants to have it checked out by a doctor or something. She has been helping him with cleaning it, but something doesn't quite sit right with Edd's attitude towards it. Maybe she's just overreacting.

"Mel?" his voice cuts into her mind, snapping her out of it again.

She hums back at him, "hm? Sorry, got lost in thought there for a second." She smiles at him and ruffles his head a little, and that's when she notices his beanie still on his head. "Oh," she says, plucking lightly on the beanie, "you might need to take this off."

Edd immediately throws his hands over his head to protect the precious head garment, throwing a terrible glare in her way. "No!" he pouts, "why would I have to do that?"

"Geez, calm down," she mutters to herself as she lets go of the beanie. Why is it so important to him? What, is it to hide the scars or something? "It might get in the way, is all. Though if you don't want to then you don't have to."

"Good! Then I won't!"

"Alright," she surrenders, putting her hands up to show it, "suit yourself."

Edd calms down a little bit, puts his hands back down, but the glare still remain somewhat intact. He's clearly very attached to this beanie, for reasons she's most probably very unaware of, so she's just going to leave it at that for the moment.

"Well then," she says and squats down on the ground next to him, digging through her backpack, "wanna know what we're going to be doing here?"

He looks at her, questions visible on his face. Yes, yes he is curious, "I guess…?"

She pauses her digging, turns around to look at him. "I guess?" she repeats and rolls her eyes when he tries to appear uninterested. "Oh well, guess it can't be helped," she says as she turns back towards the bag in her hands, "it's not like you literally asked me for help with something and are now receiving said help. No, totally not interested in this."

"I said 'I guess', which means I'm not sure!" he throws at her, glaring still.

"Uh-huh," she says, grabbing something from the backpack and standing up to face him again, "whatever you say." She can't help the smile that happen when she sees the frown turn into a face of pure curiosity. The way his eyebrows suddenly knit together as his attention is swept away, the way his focus locks onto something so suddenly is quite the sight. She pauses for a moment just to enjoy the sight for a bit longer.

"What is that?" he asks her after a moment, probably since he's unable to figure out what it is that she's holding in her hand. She smiles and hands him to tool for him to inspect. It's blue and appears to be a tool of some sort, circular in its form with some sort of weight attached to the bottom of it… or is that the top…?

"It's an Envik," Mel tells him, smiling still as she watches him inspect the tool.

"An Envik?"

"That's right."

"Oh… well…" feeling a bit awkward, he holds the Envik (whatever it is) casually in his hands as he tries to determine its weight or whether or not it has a purpose or not, "…what's an Envik?"

"It's training equipment, for boxers."

"Oh," he nods, inspecting the blue tool in his hand as if nothing has happened. Then it clicks. "Boxers?!" he nearly shrieks, dropping the tool on the ground, "wh-wha-?! Why are you giving me tools meant for boxers?! What good is that going to do?!"

"It's designed to help improve your punches," she tells him as she picks the Envik back up and holds it correctly for him to show.

"Bh-wh-how?!"

"Like this," she holds the Envik with the weight above her hand and punches forward hard, then retracts her hand just as fast. Edd watches her as she keeps throwing her fist back and forth whilst holding onto that strange looking tool, going quicker and quicker. He's not entirely sure how it works or what good it does but… he knows nothing to come with a 'but' in this situation, let's be honest.

"H-how?" he asks bewildered, "ho-how does it help improve your… your punches?"

"Well…" Mel pauses her punching and thinks about it for a moment, "have you ever tried punching something with everything you've got only to miss and hit nothing?"

"…no…?"

"Oh… well, it's kind of like that, only you add more weight to it, and you miss everything on purpose this time." She smiles at him the best way she can, but it's hard to sell something like this to someone who hates the thought of hurting others. "Here," she hands him the tool, "why don't you try it and see for yourself?"

He looks at it suspiciously for a second or two before he accepts it in his hands once again. With a sigh he forces himself to hold it in the same way Mel did. He doesn't start swinging instantly, but rather observes the way it looks and feels in his hand. It almost feels heavier than it did before, if that's even possible. The handle in itself isn't the most comfortable thing he's ever held onto, but then again, it's not meant to be held for long time periods, he's sure. A familiar frown adorns his face as he inspects the tool up close once more, moving it back and forth between both hands, making sure he gets the feel of it from both left and right. But when he knows there's only so much he can inspect of it, and that he's done just that, he looks up at Mel with a nervous and unsure expression on his face. It's still rather hard for him to believe he's ended up in a situation like this, learning how to punch, how to fight. Is this really who he is?

"It's ok, Edd," she tells him, placing both hands on his shoulders, "no one is getting hurt by this."

"Not right now, they're not…"

"Edd…" she doesn't really know how to help him get past this barrier that's in his head, and frankly, she's not sure she wants him to… but she knows she has to. "If a parent never explains to their kid about dangerous people, like perverts and peddos and so on, how big is the chance that the kid is going to become a victim?"

He remains silent for a while after hearing that question. "Very big," he eventually says.

"But what if the parent tell the kid about them, but not how to avoid them or what to do if they get caught by one? What odds do the kid have then?"

"Slightly better, though not great still."

"And finally, what about the parent that tell their kid about dangerous people and what to do if they encounter them, what to do if they're about to get caught by them or gets caught by them?"

He remains silent, doesn't answer her. He understands what she's saying and he doesn't like that she's right in this. "They're not… 'peddos' though…" he pipes in, a weak attempt.

"Bad people are bad people, even if they vary in ways of being bad."

"I know," he keeps his head low, staring at the ground.

Mel takes a long deep breath, trying to clear her mind and tell herself that she's doing the right thing here. The thing is, she has no idea, and that's not comforting right now. She just wants her brother to be safe and sound and happy. Is that really too much to ask for? "I know you don't want to hurt people Edd… it's literally all you've been talking about since they started with their abuse towards you. But it just so happens that I, as your sister, don't want to let your abusers win. Not now, not ever." She looks at him, still staring at the ground, "I don't want you to blame yourself for what mess they've gotten themselves into. Sadly, however, they decided that you're the only one who can knock some sense into them… literally speaking."

Edd remain silent for a long while, staring daggers into the ground as he thinks it over and over again. Anger slowly start to build up within him when it dawns on him – has it dawned on him before? Making tight fists with his hands, he bites down hard in anger and irritation. He never asked for this; they forced it upon him. They forced him into a corner with no escape, no painless escape that is. So, it really does boil down to this final question, the question that is finally freeing his mind and consciousness from it all; Is he really going to blame himself for what they've gotten themselves into?

Mel watches the many different expressions on his face, not entirely sure whether or not she should be worried. "Edd…?" she asks, lightly shaking his shoulder with one hand, trying to make contact with him.

"Fine," he says, his voice cold and hard.

"Huh?" she asks.

"I said 'fine'," he repeats. "If they need me to teach them a lesson, then so be it. Not my fault they chose this, after all."

She looks at him confused. Isn't… he wasn't convinced of that when he asked her for help with this? Then, why did he agree to go with her to learn self-defense to begin with? "Right," she says, nodding her head. Is she agreeing with herself or with Edd, she honestly doesn't know. The only thing she knows is that cold and dark voice. She's heard it before, but it feels different this time around. Instead of being directed at her, it's directed around her, like the one he's thinking of isn't here to receive the cold hate in person. At least, not right now they're not.

Song: The Seed – Aurora

I worked on this till the last moment, tried to make it as perfect as possible and forgot about the time. Hope you enjoy!