Medical Assistants' Perspective:
As ordered by the Lieutenant, Mary was currently running another, high level neuro scan of their newly minted captain. That made four, yes, four very complicated, very intricate, and very damn stressing cat scans.
"Ensign, has the-"
Oh for God's sake.
"Yes Sir, the fourth scan is finishing up now." The tell-tale swish of the sickbay doors had slipped right past her notice.
To her headache's relief, the Lieutenant simply nodded and walked away, heading towards the decon chamber.
She could tell how she sounded, but in her bored (and not to mention extremely irritated) state, not even her thoughts could escape the disrespectfulness directed with pointed finger towards a certain superior officer.
Forget disrespectful, she was being downright insubordinate.
A snort made its way out, while a twisted mirth continued to burrow deep inside her brain.
Once again she thought of the Captain, who, at this very moment, lay lifeless in his curtained bio-bed.
A shiver ran down her spine, such, anxiety, the playing's of fear at work. Fear that they wouldn't make it through without him, fear that-.
Mary gulped, attempting to swallow the pain that threatened to lease itself upon her mind.
I can do this, I must.
Yes, she must admit it, at least, to herself. Admit her mistakes-
It wasn't a mistake!
Her eyes widened, fingers grasping the counter edge with strength enough to morph white the slender digits.
The ferocity, the anger in that sudden burst of clarity, it-, it- felt, good. Yes! It made sense, she had merely ended an already doomed life, and spared herself the agony of watching her Captain die a slow, painful death.
No! That isn't me! You can't just-, just end a life and be done with it!
Her actions, while justifiable in whatever twisted portion of her mind, were apparently not without competition.
I murdered him, you murdered him, enjoyed it as you activated that hypo-spray!
A moan escaped her lips, "N-n-no, I di-,didn't enjoy it, I didn't enjoy it." She whispered against the tide of blackness, slowly enveloping her mind in its dark, angry clutches.
Eyes were clamped shut, she staggered back blindly as hands were clutched at her ears, desperately, trying to quell the rising voices in her skull.
You did what you had to do.
It-, the thing, was horrible, horrible! It was as if she could feel her heart blackening, slowly, methodically, as every moral standard she held dear crumbled before this onslaught.
Her vocal cords, try as they might to retain it, were left with no sense of strength, no purpose, emitting nothing but whimpers as her body connected with a thud against the unknown object.
Her shoulder protested sharply as it jammed into the surface, and yet still she didn't open her eyes. Beyond the sanctity of her lids lay a world of perspectives, one she had known the entirety of her life, a structure of joy and enthusiasm, the other, cold, unforgiving.
Mary did not want to see from that view, did not want to expose her memories, her world, to that darkness. She would not taint the remnants of sanity that still lingered in her mind, hiding themselves so as to escape the madness.
And so, as irony would have it, she kept herself in the darkness, eyes shut tight with only black to see.
Mary felt drained, she was drained, without a thought she slumped back, and didn't hear the swish of the sickbay doors.
She hit the floor hard, sprawled in the middle of the entrance with half her body inside the room, the other, out. However her form curled up, huddling knees to chest as sobs filled the hallway, tears streaming down from closed lids.
"I didn't enjoy it, I didn't en-enjoy-didn't enjoy it, I didn't enjoy it"…
(Sorry, I know this isn't very action filled, but rest assured it is all part of the buildup, remember, the Andorian fleet is on its way!)