Æ Monster
Sometimes, lying in bed at night with Dimitri's strong arms holding her close, Rose finds herself unable to sleep. Thinking over her past actions, she contemplates how things might have turned out if she'd made different choices along the way. More often than not, her thoughts turn to Russia and how close she'd come to changing her mind that night on the bridge, even after how hard she'd fought against him. If he'd only said he loved her as opposed to saying he wanted her, she would have given up everything—even her soul—to be with him. What plays at her mind the most are certain things he said or did when he was a Strigoi that directly counter the belief that he was incapable of seeing beauty and feeling emotion.
Because he had told her she was beautiful. And he had mentioned love, even if he didn't realize it.
Those two things—plus the knowledge of how to save a Strigoi's soul and restore them—worry her. She wonders if she will ever be able to look at a Strigoi and see it as a monster—if she will be able to kill without hesitation—now that she knows there's a way to save them… now that she knows that somewhere, deep inside their icy, emotionless state, a part of what they once were lives on.
She knows that sooner or later, she'll be put to the test, and she dreads it. Because she knows that when push comes to shove, the chances are she'll hesitate—and lose her life in the process.
A/N: Before I get a ton of PMs and/or reviews claiming this entry isn't plausible, Let me share this with you—when I posted this head canon, a smart assed Anon sent in the following comment:
Anonymous ASKED:
That headcanon you just posted is completely full of shit. Strigois cant seebeauty or have love. You need to read the books.
This was my answer to them, and to anyone who questions how I came up with this particular ideal:
Actually, I have read the books—numerous times. I practically have them memorized. Perhaps you need to re-read them, since you apparently missed two tidbits RM snuck in there that countered the belief that Strigoi were unfeeling and unable to seebeauty.
From Dimitri's poison pen letter to Rose in SB:
"Your refusal to join me in eternal life and love leaves no other course of action, and I can't allow someone as dangerous as you to live.
And also from SB, Dimitri speaking to Rose:
"You're beautiful in battle," said Dimitri. His cold voice carried to me clearly, even above the roar of combat. "Like an avenging angel come to deliver the justice of heaven."
Those two statements make my head canon entirely plausible. Perhaps they do feel love and seebeauty, they just do it in a completely different way and/or can't recognize the emotion for what it is.