Thank you all again for your reviews, your thoughts and concerns about the last chapter! I'm always thrilled at the responses, and the continued interest. So I left you on a wee bit of a cliff there last time, didn't I? This chapter slows down the pace somewhat, from the action to the emotional fallout, and the focus on MerDer time. We'll get back to the rest of what's going on next time round.

Enjoy!

Chapter 16
Emotional Healing

In the darkened quiet of the Seattle Grace hospital room, Meredith was sitting in a chair beside the bed where Derek was laying. He was breathing steadily, his eyes closed, and the heart monitor attached to him was pulsing reassuringly. She rubbed her temples tiredly; it felt like the evening had gone on forever, and it still wasn't over. So much had happened in a short time frame to bring her to this moment she wasn't sure how to process all of it. After Derek had collapsed, it was all kind of a blur.

She remembered that Mark had called for help, and that the ambulance and Det Hunt seemed to arrive at the same time. While the ambulance attendants tended to both Derek and Richard, Hunt had tried to ask questions but no one had been giving coherent answers. Another ambulance arrived, and Meredith made her escape with them as they took Derek to Seattle Grace. She didn't care what Hunt was doing with Richard, he deserved to be locked up for what he'd done this evening as far as she was concerned.

Once they had arrived at the hospital, Derek had been hurried into ER. All she could do then was stand by helplessly, as medical staff in blue scrubs took over to check his vital signs and bark out orders to have him taken away for CT scans and other things she couldn't follow. Cristina had come running, along with the neurosurgeon, Dr. Heather Brooks. Both of them had done their best to convince Meredith that Derek had likely just suffered a mild concussion, and that it would just take some time for him to recover. The tests had to be done to be sure, for precaution sake.

"Just wait here while the tests are run, and I promise we'll find you, Mer," Cristina urged. "Mark is here, he can sit with you, all right?" Glancing at Mark who nodded, taking Meredith's arm to help her to a chair in the waiting room. She was still clutching Derek's jacket, and she looked at him a little dazedly.

"He's going to be okay, Grey," Mark said gently. "Shepherd's not about to die anytime soon, not after that dramatic announcement. Gotta hand it to him, that's a helluva way to get your sympathy."

Meredith glared at him. "Not funny, Mark."

"Sorry, just trying to cheer you up. I've never seen you this way. Are you in love with him? I mean, you could do worse..."

Sighing a little, she closed her eyes. "I don't know, exactly, yes...I think so...I just can't lose him, Mark. What if he dies without knowing how I feel?" Tears leaked from her eyes, and all he could do was keep his arm around her, offering his support. For once, he had nothing else to say.

After what seemed an eternity, the tests were completed, and Dr. Brooks had determined that the concussion was not severe, and there was no evidence of bleeding or brain damage, thankfully. He had been awake briefly and lucid, but she had felt it best to admit Derek overnight for observation. With Cristina's help, Meredith was able to stay with him, for which she was extremely grateful.

Now she put her head down on her forearms against the edge of the bed, closing her eyes briefly. She felt extremely tired, but she wasn't about to leave until she knew if Derek was going to be all right. Not that she didn't trust Dr. Brooks; the petite surgeon had been extremely calm and competent, dealing with Meredith's fears with patient sympathy. Still, until she could see for her own eyes that he was all right she intended to stay with him. At the sound of Derek's chart being picked up, she looked up to find Cristina standing there, reading over the notes.

"Oh, I thought you went home, Cris."

"Just leaving, figured I'd check on you two again." Cristina set the chart aside again. "Are you going to tell me what happened tonight, Mer?"

"It's a long story," Meredith sighed. "I'm not sure how much I can tell you right now."

"Are you all right? No bumps or bruises?" Cristina surveyed her critically. "Maybe you should have been checked out too."

"I'm fine. I promise I'll try to explain everything soon."

"Okay. I'll hold you to that."

"Thanks for being here earlier, it helped a lot."

"You need to rest too."

"I will," Meredith assured her, yawning widely as Cristina slipped away. Then she felt Derek shift slightly, and she glanced up to see him opening his eyes slowly. "Derek! Thank god..." she murmured, getting to her feet. "I'm going to ring for the nurse..."

"Wait..." he said, his voice unsteady. "You okay...?"

"I'm fine, really. I was just so worried about you." Meredith slipped her fingers in his, and squeezed lightly. "When you passed out, I was scared to death."

"Never did that before," he admitted.

"Do you remember what happened?" She wasn't sure if he had just been delirious when he'd told her loved her.

"Kind of fuzzy, but I do know what I said," he replied.

"You do, hmmm? I can let you off the hook for being under stress," she teased him gently.

"Just...come here..."

Meredith leaned in towards him, looking at him carefully. There were a few bruises on his face, and his lip was split from the fight with Richard. Stubble was dark along his jaw, his hair was disheveled and a bandage was in place where he'd been hit. "What?" she whispered. "I should really let you rest. Dr. Brooks was very clear about what the after effects of concussion are."

"I meant it...you know..." he said slowly. "What I said. I love you."

She felt the sting of sudden tears, and she bit her lip. "Derek..."

"Shh...I just needed...to say it." He managed to give her a slight smile, and she melted even more. She gripped his hand a little tighter.

"You're crazy, you know that? What am I supposed to do with you?"

"Kiss me?"

"You're supposed to be resting, not kissing," she whispered, but she moved in closer to him. His eyes were fixed on her, his gaze a little unfocused from the concussion, but still triggering a torrent of emotion in her. Gently, she pressed her lips against his; the kiss was warm and sweet and she felt desire and relief well up in her. He managed to deepen the kiss, softly parting her lips, searching for her tongue with his, until she was breathless. He fell back against the pillow, and smiled at her, that special smile that always sent the rush of desire curling right down to her toes.

"Even here, banged up like this, you still manage to have this effect on me, Derek," she whispered.

"It's a gift," he said, attempting to wink but the effort seemed to be beyond him at the moment.

"You need to rest now. I'm going to be right here." She smoothed his hair gently.

"What about...Richard?" he asked, fighting to stay awake then.

"I don't know for sure, and you don't need the aggravation of worrying. Go to sleep." She watched his eyes drift shut again, and she kissed his forehead gently. "I love you, Derek..."

Three days later

Derek had been released from the hospital with strict orders to rest, avoid strenuous exercise and keep things quiet. So far it was driving him mad. Without being able to go to the restaurant, he was concerned about how things were running; Hunt was leaving messages to speak with him about Richard, and being confined to bed alone really didn't help his mood. The bedroom had too many bouquets of flowers from the staff at the restaurant, several of his old girlfriends, even Anya had sent something. It made him feel like he was in the middle of a florist shop. So far Hunt had been accommodating about the wait, but Derek was sure the detective was just biding his time.

With a heavy sigh, he tossed aside the book he'd been trying to read, and picked up his phone. No one said he couldn't call the restaurant, just to make sure everything was all right. He glanced at his watch, the evening dinner rush would be well underway and he missed the excitement of being there. After everything that happened with Richard, he just wanted to get back to normal again. He was in the middle of a conversation with the hostess, who assured him everything was running smoothly, when Meredith peeked into his bedroom. She wrinkled her nose at him, seeing that he was on the phone, before wandering to look out the window. The sun was just sinking behind the horizon, and dusk was settling, making the bedroom shadowy. She switched on a decorative Tiffany lamp, admiring the soft glow it created, before going to perch on the edge of his bed.

Derek finished up the call, and relinquished his phone to her. "You didn't see that," he said quickly.

"Derek, you know what Dr Brooks said. No stress."

"Stress is not knowing what's going to hell without me at Ravish," he frowned as she set his phone aside. "But I'm happy to see you." He took her hands in his and squeezed her fingers. She had been there as much as she could, but slept in the guest room to let him rest, much to his disappointment. For now, he tugged her closer, so that he could smell the lavender scent of her hair, and she shook her head slightly at his frustration.

"I'm glad to see you too," she sighed, kissing him lightly. Lightly slowly became more passionate, as he managed to pull her across him. His arm slid around her waist, as he reveled in the feel of her against him. Strands of her hair tickled his cheek, and he tangled his fingers in them to keep her close.

She finally disentangled herself, and settled in beside him, her head against his chest. He could feel her pulse beating quickly, just as quickly as his own. "How much longer am I supposed to be resting?" he sighed softly, toying with her hair again. Parts of his body were definitely not willing to rest, and his other hand strayed over her hip, so he was able to angle their bodies together again. From there, he caressed the skin above the waistband of her jeans, beneath the edge of her sweater. Her breathing hitched again, as he explored higher along her ribcage and then over the lacy cup of her bra. Feeling the hard jut of her nipple against his palm encouraged him to keep going, as she moaned softly in response. He claimed her lips again, kissing her more deeply, while he eased her breast away from the lace confines. Everything else fled his conscious thought, his arousal taking over. He needed to know that he was alive, and making love to Meredith was the best way to affirm life. To hell with what Dr Brooks said.

"Derek...this isn't the best thing..." Meredith whispered, but her voice was breathy with desire. Her hands slid over his chest, the thin material of his t-shirt unable to disguise the strong muscles underneath it.

"This is the best thing for us," he breathed. "I need to feel alive, we nearly lost each other. I promise to go slow and easy, no sudden moves...just being with the woman I love. I swear I feel fine, no side effects..."

"You're impossible..." she laughed softly. "You know damn well I can't resist you like this. I want you right now too, Derek, being with the man I love…" There, she'd said it again, and for a moment he paused. While she might have thought he didn't hear her that night in the hospital, he definitely recalled that she'd told him she loved him then. He hadn't been completely asleep yet, but since then they hadn't talked about their late night confessions.

Now he stroked her hair away from her forehead, and kissed her gently. "Are you sure about loving me? After all you've witnessed about my life now?"

"Derek, seriously…I know what I'm getting into with you. Yes, I've seen what you do, and you shared your past with me, but it doesn't scare me. Maybe I was more surprised about you falling in love with me, knowing your romantic past…should I ask you if you're sure about how you feel?"

"Meredith…"

"Wait, I think we need to talk about this…" she told him, moving back and sitting up against the pillows. "A lot of things happened to you recently. You lost your brother, you were accused of murder, the man you regarded as a friend and mentor betrayed you and knocked you out cold. I know your whole life has been turned upside down, and you met me in middle of that. Our relationship didn't exactly start out on the best footing; I think you kind of hated me at first…"

"I wouldn't call it 'hated', that's too strong a word…more like mildly disliked," he protested, sitting up beside her. "But you had a way of getting around my defenses that I couldn't resist…"

"You had those defenses from the time you were young, I'm sure. Life wasn't always easy for you either, and I think you tried to keep everyone at arm's length to keep from getting hurt. All of the women you were with before, none of them got close to your heart because you kept a lid on your emotions. I'm sure it was less complicated, but you didn't do that with me. You let me into your life, Derek, and showed me what kind of man you really are. And I think I started to fall in love with you once I saw that…even if I didn't want to admit it right away. I was pretty good at keeping my heart locked away too, I had my dark and twisty past to blame."

"Hmmm, quite a pair, we are. You say you're all dark and twisty. It's not a flaw, it's a strength. It makes you who you are," he told her gently. "Maybe we were meant to be together..."

"That sounded exceptionally cheesy, Derek," she giggled softly.

"It did, didn't it?" He pulled her closer again, and she looked up at him, her eyes shining and warm. "I'll stop talking now." She melted into his embrace, and they kissed softly and sweetly as she moved over him. His hands slid up beneath her sweater again, finding the curve of her breasts, and the nipples that hardened under his touch. Desire swamped both of them, as his arousal throbbed against her. Rolling across him, the urgent need to be joined together took over. She was shaking with need, and she pulled at his t-shirt, exposing his chest. She pressed small kisses over him, down to his belly, and then back to his lips again.

As he watched her moves hungrily, she pulled her sweater over her head, swinging her hair free to frame her face. Her smile was sensual as she undid the clasp of her bra, and let her breasts fall free for him to admire. Then she helped him remove his t-shirt, her fingers roaming across his lean body, tracing the tattoo and the scar gently, before reaching his belt. His hips lifted, and his abdomen quaked in response as she slowly undid the belt and his zipper, deftly stroking him.

With a low growl, he rolled her over and laid her back on the crisp sheets. The luxurious material felt delicious on her bare skin, and she quickly wiggled out of her jeans to lay naked under his hot gaze. Derek ran his hands along the soft contours of her body, and gently parted her knees. He dipped his head to kiss her ankle, the swell of her calf, and the tender spot behind her knees. He dropped warm kisses along her thighs, but avoided the one spot she wanted him the most right then. Meredith sighed in bliss and let herself open wider for him, willing him to place his mouth where she ached and throbbed. He continued to kiss her silky, fragrant skin along the curve of her waist and the soft spot under her breast. She rolled her hips higher, seeking his touch. Leisurely, he continued to kiss her everywhere else, until she was going mad. "Derek….." she moaned softly, "more…I want more…"

In response, he put his lips around her breast, taking in as much of it as he could, his tongue wrapping around her sensitive nipple. His fingers brushed between her legs, and she whimpered from the sensation on both aching spots at the same time. Her body arched up into him, and as he sucked on her nipple, he pushed his fingers deeper into her. She rocked her hips into it, delirious from the pleasure he was giving her. Sucking and thrusting, he brought her to a shuddering climax, until she collapsed backwards, trembling and panting.

Her eyes closed, Meredith let her body relax by degrees in the aftermath of the orgasm. The bed shifted, and the next thing she felt was his naked body covering hers, and she opened her eyes, wrapping herself around him in welcome. His cock was pulsing against her, slowly seeking her warmth and wetness. She took him inside inch by inch, until he filled her completely. For a moment, Derek held himself still, drawing out the anticipation of the pleasure. "This is what we need," he told her, his blue eyes intense with desire. "This is perfect, just like this."

Her arms slid around his neck to bring him closer, so their hot skin touched everywhere. He was hot and throbbing, and she squeezed around him tightly, so that he closed his eyes at the sensation. "It is perfect," she whispered, "just love me, Derek."

It was all the invitation he needed to thrust hard into her, kissing her urgently. Lifting off the bed, she met his every thrust, pulling him in as far as he could go. Meredith called out his name again and again as the crest of the orgasm hit her. He moved with her, losing himself in the pleasure as well, until they were both spent and sated.

Derek buried his face against her throat, feeling the wild beating of her heart, matching his own. "I think that was a little more intense than I intended," he murmured.

"Are you all right? No sudden blinding pain?" she asked quickly, looking into his eyes. But there was no pain there, only drowsy satisfaction, and she relaxed again as she curled against his side.

"No pain," he assured her. "But I don't feel like moving, or dealing with anything outside of this bedroom just yet."

"I know. Hunt's probably going to come knocking on the door again soon, demanding to talk to you. Lucinda has managed to keep him outside; she's very protective of you," Meredith told him, slowly caressing his chest with her palm. "I'm lucky she likes me."

"She's tough all right. I'll deal with Hunt soon enough, but now that you've taken advantage of me I need to rest again..."

"I didn't...!" Meredith laughed, sitting up to look at him. "You were quite the willing victim then, Mr. Shepherd...but if you're that exhausted, I'll just leave you alone and go find something else to occupy myself with." She made a move as if to slide out of bed, but he grabbed her arm and pulled her down beside him again, tickling her so that she erupted in giggles.

"Don't you dare think about going anywhere," he warned her, pressing her down against the sheets. "You can stay right here and make sure I'm all right. You wouldn't want me to have a relapse and not be here to help me."

"Don't even joke about that," she whispered, winding her arms around his neck. "You're right, I'm not going anywhere, Derek..."

He lowered his mouth to hers again, losing himself in the moment again, in the pure, inescapable need they had for each other. There was nowhere else either one of them wanted to be, and they were content to keep the world away for a little while longer.

A/N Yes, I brought Dr Heather Brooks, aka Mousy, back to life here, she was the only new intern I liked on the show, and I hated to see her demise. So yay for being able to have her become a neurosurgeon here LOL.