3. Mix-Ups

The usually dull, quiet prison seemed to rowdy up in seconds when the warden stepped out into the dusty hall; his ruby eye narrowing at the inmates lining the cells around him. He felt humiliated. He, Black Joker- the most cruel, black hearted, unkind, sarcastic soul in Wonderland- had been transformed into a soft, doe-eyed woman; the very thing he threatened to rape if his demands were ignored. And what made this worse?

All of his clothes had been exchanged for dresses.

If there were ever a moment in the warden's life where he wanted to both crawl under a rock and bloody murder someone at the same time…

This would be that moment.

"Hey sexy. What you doin' all the way over there?"

Black turned towards the voice, glaring coldly at one of the toy-headed inmates. He recognized this one. It was the one he'd dealt with yesterday; the one harassing Alice. His stare turned to ice.

"Who the f*** do you think you're talking to?" the warden mentally grimaced at his voice. It was too high-pitched; too feminine. The voice of a strong woman, but a woman nonetheless. He felt so demeaned.

"Ooh. Feisty. Just how I like my women." He could almost see the smirk behind the man's mask; a smirk he himself often used on Alice no doubt. "This prison's just full of little things like you anymore, aren't they? The maid, and now you… This is more like heaven than prison, baby."

"How about I f****** knock your f****** ass straight back to the f****** hell you came from, b******!" the prison guard snapped loudly, storming up to the gate; one fist raised to the man. His heavy head tilted, seeming amused.

"As long as I can drag you down with me." The inmate purred, his hand slipping through the bars; groping one of the warden's breasts.

Black's face flushed a bright red- a feminine reaction, no doubt- and a glare pierced into the prisoner; his hand already reaching for his whip. "Hey, f******! Grab for my f****** chest again and I'll f*** you up, b******!"

The inmate chuckled lowly, his hand reaching for a stand of Black's hair while the other remained on his chest. "You've got such a cute tongue. I'd much prefer it in my mouth."

"B******.." Black's eye twitched, his teeth gritting in fury. He gripped his whip tightly, holding it back, preparing to swing.

"Black, wait!"

Heads turned towards the brunette rushing down the hall; still in her nightdress and waving wildly towards the man, trying to pause his actions. She paused in front of the two, panting.

"Heh, did you want some too, sweetheart?" the man asked, tilting his stuffed head at the thinly clothed maiden. "Well, how rude it would be to object two young ladies.. Heheh."

SMACK!

Alice gasped, blinking once as a strong, powerful blow came in contact with the inmate's oversized head; reeling the mask to the side. A punch. The man had been punched.

It was like it happened in slow motion. Alice could see every expression of pure hatred and seeping infuriation vibrating in waves around Black's body, all branching out to his fist coming in contact with the prisoner. She saw the inmate's head snap back, almost too far; his hands releasing the warden for the brief moment he needed to acquire his whip.

"F*** OFF, YOU SON OF A BITCH!" Black shouted loudly, his eye piercing bullets into the man.

"Wait…" The word was lost in the foreigner's mouth and replaced with the click of a gun. Silver bullets flew in a blur before her eyes in three loud shots, piercing into the prisoned toy. Crimson dripped from the holes in the man briefly before he collapsed; his form soon fading into that of a clock, alone and empty on the ground.

He was dead.

"Hmph. Damned b******." Black muttered with a satisfied nod, the pistol transforming back into its original whip in his palm. He slid the leather back into his belt, turning towards Alice.

"Y-You…" the foreigner stammered, hands clutching the front of her dress, her legs wobbling uneasily.

"He won't f****** bother you anymore. There's no need to freak out." the warden's voice was calmer this time; back to its usual, sarcastic, Black Joker self.

But she wasn't.

"Y-You… You killed him." The words came out in whispers from her lips, barely escaping at all. He almost hadn't heard her.

"Tch. Bet your f****** ass I did." the guard answered, almost as if speaking to an idiotic child.

"But… you murdered him." Alice's voice rose just a notch; almost normal this time.

"The f****** deserved it. Tch. Shouldn't you be happy? I got rid of the idiot for you. I think a thanks is the least you can do for me, you f****** ingrate." the warden said, crossing his arms in front of his chest; a little awkwardly, seeing as he wasn't used to breasts.

Alice's head snapped up; her teal eyes meeting his lonesome crimson. She strode forward until she was feet away. With as much strength as she could summon, her hand flew forward.

SLAP!

"You can't just go around killing people, Black! It's not right! He may have been horrible, but he has a life too, and you have no right to take it from him! You can't murder whoever you want!" the foreigner shrieked, all her pent-up fright and anger falling onto the roommate before her.

Black's teeth clenched, and he swiftly reached for her shoulders, holding her closer- much to her discomfort- against his chest. Her face remained inches from his, and she could feel his hot breath fan onto her face as he spoke; his tone low and deadly.

"In case you've forgotten, this is my f****** prison. You live under my roof, and I can do whatever the f*** I want. I killed that son of a bitch for your sake and mine. I don't want a f****** asshole raping my f****** maid- that's my job." he growled, shutting the woman up.

Alice stared up at him blankly, the words processing in her mind. He killed the inmate… so she wouldn't be raped. Did that mean… he was saving her? Did Black Joker… Coldhearted, uncaring, unkind Black Joker… save her?

For a moment- just a small, brief moment- Alice… smiled.

Wait a minute- "that's his job?"

"Since when did raping me become your job?" the outsider snapped, gently pushing him away and taking a step back; one hand drawn on her hip. "I don' remember ever agreeing to this!"

"Tch. You didn't have to." Black argued. Alice huffed, but looked away, shaking her head. She knew he was joking; she'd learned that much by now. He was sarcastic. He didn't mean to rape her- at least, she hoped not.

And yet, she still found herself pouting; angry and miserable when he took control of her. He hadn't changed at all, so what was wrong with it? Couldn't she stand him anymore? She had gotten used to it before. Why did it bug her now? She didn't get it.

Sighing, Alice turned back towards the Joker, frowning up at him. Perhaps she'd never know. In a quiet voice she murmured, "We should go check on the others. See whose changed."

Black huffed, but nodded. "Get changed, I'll get White."

The maiden nodded, and the two headed off in opposite directions.

Wonderland had gone on an overall change. The morning brought a new level to word "horror" by the lifting of eyelids of roleholders on the sunshine day. Many- most- had noticed their change right away. After all, how could one miss those so obviously altered details?

Apparently a certain Hatter did.

Blood Dupre walked along the wide halls of his mansion, feeling rather sluggish and sickened. He hadn't bothered to cast a glance in his mirror when he woke up; all he knew was that his chest suddenly felt heavier, and his voice was higher-pitched than usual.

Perhaps he had caught a cold, he assumed. Or the flu. There was a bug going around, from according to what Alice told the twins at the last tea party. She had been swamped with cleaning duty. The idea had put a smirk on his face. Why, little slutty foreigner, forced to mop up inmates' puke. The idea appealed to him much more than it should have.

Of course, now it didn't.

That damned girl. Surely he must have gotten some sort of illness from her. Perhaps that was her plan all along. Get him sick like a dog to suffer. The wretched thing.

As the miserable Mafioso turned a corner, his self-pity turned into that of frustration and confusion. Before him stood a woman- her back to him- with long, curly orange locks that hung to her shoulders. Her skin was fair, and she fashioned quite similar clothing… almost too familiar. And were those rabbit ears on her head? His eyebrows furrowed as he neared this woman; straightening up.

Damned. She was taller than him. This did not please the boss one bit, but he smiled slyly either way, cleverly taking her hand in his and pressing his lips across its top.

"My, my. I don't recall inviting any guests over this morning. What could your name be, my dear?" he asked, feeling a little more confident- and arrogant- with each word silkily spoken.

The girl underneath his touched rose a confused eyebrow. "Ehh? I think you're mistaken. I live h-"

When Blood glanced up, the woman's words were lost in her mouth the moment their eyes came in contact. Why, this was no woman at all! This… This was..

"ELLIOT?" Blood snapped to the reality before him, taking an abrupt step backwards; specks of pink blushing across his shocked and outraged face.

"BLOOD?" the female Elliot cried in shock, face flushing a scarlet red, staring at the now womanized mafia boss before him.

Both men stared in silence at each other; faces bright red, unable to form a sentence. Finally, they both looked down at themselves, shrieking loudly. Why, they were women!

"What the hell? !" Elliot shouted, paling as he took in his curvy form. Blood, on the other hand was speechless; too many angered thoughts running in his mind. Only but one word escaped his growling lips.

"Alice."

"Why do I still have to dress like this?" Alice demanded, her face flushed a bright red as she strode alongside Joker, on their way to the oncoming Clover Tower.

"Tch. Because we f****** said so." Black snapped from the mask, but White placed a hand over the white item's mouth, silencing it.

"You do still have to make up that work from last night." the jester reminded her with a kind smile, but Alice could sense those mischievous thoughts running through both men's minds.

"But I could do that in my regular clothes!" the foreigner protested, wrinkling her nose at the skimpy maid dress she fashioned.

"Ah, but also keep in mind that if not for you, we wouldn't become women. And what a hassle it has been." the ringmaster said with a self-pitied sigh, almost longingly. "I had no idea how much you were harassed with the men around here. It must be quite bothersome."

"Like you wouldn't believe." the outsider grumbled, glaring ahead in annoyance. White cast her a sideways glance, but nonetheless returned his attention to the tower before them.

Creeping the door open, Alice peeked in, glancing around. "Julius? Nightmare? Gray?" Silence answered her, and the foreigner tried again. "Anyone home?"

"Tch. Where the f*** are they?" Black demanded as Joker stepped inside, Alice leading the way.

"I don't know…" she answered in a murmur.

CLANG!

The brunette jumped at the sound of a clattering pot, both the guests' heads snapping to the kitchen.

"What the F*** was that?" the warden demanded, confused.

"It was rather noisy." White chimed in, patting his ear as if to comfort it.

"Julius?" Alice called again, nearing the kitchen this time; Joker right behind her. "Julius, is that yo-"

Her words caught in her mouth as she stepped into the kitchen; her jaw dropped, eyes bulging from their sockets. Joker blinked, not having expected such a scene.

Was that… Julius…

And ACE?

Cliffhanger. I know you love it. XD SORRY FOR THE WAIT D8 *dies* I'm gonna try to work on RMR and CoC again, along with find ways to go through this story. I wanna write GoC already! XD