Book 2: Home Is Where The Heart Is: Laugh More
AN: So here it is, the first chapter of Book 2. I know it has been a long time coming. Sorry about that. Thank you for all your wonderful reviews and your patience. Hope you enjoy it!
Chapter 1: About Time
Sirius lounged with his legs stretched out before him at the round table in the trunk's library, noting that the shelves were now full of tomes, scavenged from personal libraries and bookstores over the years. Remus and Lily were the self-appointed librarians of the joint, and from what Sirius could glean they were worse tyrants about the books than Madam Pence on a bad hair day.
He was pleased to note the large collection of defense books, including an entire section dedicated to the combination of martial arts and magic. He had a book before him entitled, Open Hand, and Ready Wand by Bruce Lee, who was a legendary martial arts practitioner and wizard. What muggle martial arts practitioners called Chi was actually just raw magical power, or wandless magic. There in fact were practitioners of Martial Magics in the Auror division called Hit Wizards who were trained in it.
Both he and James had been part of that faction, once upon a time, in the future. His eyes moved to James who was currently trying to get Lily to forgive him for accidentally touching her "beautiful" ass…ets. Which earned him a painful stinging hex from two separate wands. Severus glared at James, his wand still extended.
"Apologize, Potter," Severus growled.
Lily was also not amused. "You did it on purpose and you know it."
James held his hands up in surrender. "First of all, OW! And second of all I'm confused. Are you mad because I touched you by accident? Or are you mad because I liked what I touched? Or are you mad because I complimented your ass…ets?" Giving Severus a nervous smile.
Sirius straightened as he watched the drama unfold. Padfoot was only watching, however. Ever since he'd gotten back he had built strong walls between himself and his younger self. He had assimilated a great deal of information upon his return. He was currently at the end of his fourth year. Siri was a bit miffed at his continued silence, often trying to goad him into an internal conversation. So far he'd been able to keep his thoughts out of the kid's head. He was still, 'The Interloper.' He was determined that this turn he'd simply observe. He could do that. Right?
His attention was drawn back to the argument unfolding between James and Severus. Siri simply gave off exasperated thoughts as if this was common, and nothing to be overly concerned about.
Remus was ignoring all of them as he was writing quickly. He briefly acknowledged that he was using a fancy muggle-type fountain pen. He found himself intrigued and nudged the memory from the download. Remus had told him that muggle pens were easier but he'd never tried them. He nudged his younger self to inquire once he realized he didn't know. His younger self simply snagged the pen from Remus's hand mid-lettering and he noted that it didn't splatter all over the page like a quill would have. "Is this a muggle quill?" Siri asked him to get a better look at it.
"Hey!" Remus growled. "I was using that."
"It doesn't use ink?" Siri asked.
Remus rolled his eyes and snagged the pen back. "It uses ink. The ink is inside. There's a plastic ink cartridge…" He unscrewed the fountain pen to show him where the ink was kept. "I enchanted this pen to be a Dictapen and it includes a self-correcting charm. Remus looked at his invention proudly. "Course Lily helped a lot. And James…" He glanced over to where Snape was currently threatening James's private parts with a blasting hex, while Lily was glancing nervously between the dueling pair. "It's for taking notes." At Siri's look, Remus smirked. "You'll see." He shrugged, "I have to get an article finished for Lily by tomorrow, so I decided to give an eyewitness account of the death eater attack."
A sudden voice from Sirius's pocket caused him to startle. "Sirius Black!"
Sirius jumped and snagged the mirror from his robes and smiled at his brother's image. "You at the fat lady?" He asked.
Regulus Black nodded, "Yeah. You better hurry, I think I heard Peeves coming."
Severus sheathed his wand and pivoted away from James, his robes swirling around his ankles, "I'll get him. And you…" He pointed at James. "Leave Lily alone." He glared down his nose at the messy-haired Gryffindor and James winked.
"Ah come on Sev. You know you love me. Remember… Adorable?" He struck a pose and Severus fled the library in a swirl of dark robes.
James laughed a bit and Lily growled, "Yeah Potter. Stay away from me." She huffed and went to sit down at the round table. "And don't you dare be late on that article you promised." She noted. "Deadline is tomorrow." She smiled at Remus, "And it looks like you are going to be the only one who knows what a deadline is Remus. Why is that?"
Remus paused in his writing and glanced at Lily and said, "Probably because I'm a monster."
Lily gasped. "You are NOT a monster!" She growled. "How can you even say that?"
Remus looked pained. "Sorry. What I should have said, is that I am hyper-aware of time. What day of the week it is, what day of the month, what phase of the moon it is. Because I'm a werewolf," he answered, "my days are measured by deadlines."
Lily just looked like she wished she hadn't asked. "I'm sorry Remus. That sucks. I feel the same way about my menstrual cycle. Once a month I turn into the worst bitch. Everyone tells me I'm horrible. I know that isn't even a fair comparison, but it's all I got." She admitted. "They call it a curse for a reason."
Remus coughed and slunk down into his chair, his face turning several shades of red, "Uhm.. yeah… I think I'd rather be a werewolf than bleed to death once a month. Thanks for making me feel better about myself." Remus quipped.
James nodded, "There are spells you know. Madam Pomfrey had a pamphlet in her office about it.
"Did anyone ask you?" Lily retorted angrily. Turning her back intentionally on the raven-haired Gryffindor. Flinging her ponytail so viciously it smacked him across the cheek.
Just then Severus returned followed by Regulus. Sirius's heart leaped for joy at the sight of his little brother. Even if he sorted into Slytherin he was still the same person. It hadn't come as any great shock that Reg would not sort differently simply because of his influence. He gave his brother a welcoming smile and Reggie grinned at him. "Hey, Siri."
Sirius winked and said, "You ready to be inducted into the Marauders?"
Regulus nodded. "I've been ready for two years Siri."
James finally called the meeting to order. "All right. Let's get the meeting started shall we?" When everyone kept chatting he picked up the gavel and tapped it gently, and the table acted like a giant gong reverberating throughout the trunk calling the meeting to order far more effectively than yelling would have done.
Lily placed her hands over her ears and cringed. "Damnit Potter! That was a little loud wasn't it?"
Sirius and Remus were both cringing as well and Remus reached over, snagging the enchanted gavel from Potter's hand, and tossed it to Severus who stuck it in his robes. "No more gavel for you!" He growled. Rubbing at his ears as if they had been attacked. "That damn thing is meant for a space that is at least ten times bigger than this!"
James sighed. "Sorry.."
Sirius rolled his eyes, "Okay Remus why don't you read the notes from the last meeting?"
Remus nodded and flipped back a few pages in their grimoire to the minutes of their last meeting.
"So last time we met, we discussed how the daily prophet articles were going and Lily and Remus discussed their idea for a monthly Hogwarts newsletter. Which everyone decided was a fantastic idea. So we were all supposed to write down a few ideas for the newsletter, like what to call it, and who is going to be responsible for it." He looked up and everyone was paying attention.
"We also discussed for much of our meeting, because of James's and Sirius's enthusiasm for all things related to bloody brooms, the Aerial Squad. We all agreed to let Potter and Sirius handle the logistics if they want to start 'another' club. And there was a lot of discussion about how you both can't possibly do one more thing and still pass your classes. So you are going to have to drop quidditch."
James shook his head and mouthed to Sirius. "There they go again. Claiming we can't do something that we can. It's quite frankly insulting. What do you think, Sirius? Insulting right? It's like they think we are fragile firsties. Where is the bloody faith?"
Remus sighed. "Even with the trunk, there is no way you are going to be able to put together another club. There just aren't enough hours in the day. James, you have Dawn Patrol and Quidditch, you are responsible for writing one Daily Prophet article a month, Animagus training, and extra lessons with your dad and Lady Black, we have Marauders meetings and we are still working on the map. You are going to have to give up something. Anything. How about dropping quidditch in favor of the aerial combat club." Remus knew that nothing short of death would convince James to give up Quidditch. He fully intended to go pro after Hogwarts.
James shook his head emphatically. "I wouldn't have to run it or even be in charge of it. But it's an idea worth considering. Just think of it. Aerial combat guys! The Death Munchers wouldn't see it coming!"
Sirius pitched in, "We wouldn't have to limit ourselves to brooms either. Hagrid mentioned the thestrals and hippogriffs are available as mounts here in Hogwarts."
The bookworm contingent, which included Remus, Lily, Snape, and Regulus still looked unconvinced, though Lily looked like she was starting to thaw to the idea.
"What about other winged creatures?" She asked. Which led to a few minutes of talking about all the creatures that they could possibly ride. When James mentioned dragons however everyone shouted, "NO!"
James, sensing Lily weakening, nodded enthusiastically. "Maybe we could convince Professor Grubbly-Plank to offer riding lessons? Maybe her and Professor McGonnagal would team up and sponsor the club or maybe Hagrid could give creature riding lessons?" If a teacher was involved Lily would be more willing to support it. Even Snape seemed to thaw to the idea
It was decided that the Aerial Combat club or whatever they would eventually call it would be handled by James, Sirius and Regulus, who was also on the Slytherin Quidditch team and was a damned fine seeker. Sirius was not on the team at all. He had other hobbies that were keeping him quite busy. Regardless, both the Newsletter and the Aerial squad would need to wait until the following term. They were weeks away from end-of-year exams.
"Speaking of exams," Lily pulled out several pieces of parchment and passed one to each.
"What is this Lily Flower?" James asked, picking up the parchment and glancing at it, and then groaned. "Why?!"
Sirius glanced at what she had given him and chuckled. "Revision schedules?" He asked.
Lily stuck her nose in the air and in her best McGonagall impression said, "Exams are just around the corner, and I for one plan on doing well. As you can see I've worked around everyone's schedules and divided the workload. Severus, you will help us revise potions and herbology."
Severus nodded looking over the schedule and smiled, "Good thing we have our own potions lab." Everyone agreed that Severus had the best grasp on the subject matter.
"Remus, you will help us revise in Defense against the Dark Arts."
Remus grinned. "I see you also have me in History?" History wasn't really his best subject but he was the only one able to stay awake in Binn's class. Even Lily found Binns voice hypnotic and nap-inducing.
"James, Do you want charms or transfiguration?" Lily and James were top of the class in both of those subjects. James grinned, "Because I am a gentleman and a Lord, I shall let the lady pick her choice and take what is left." He gave her a bawdy wink.
"Fine, I'll revise charms and you do transfiguration." She made a note on her revision table. "I've also given you Arithmancy."
"That leaves Sirius. I figured Astronomy and Care of Magical Creatures, as well as Runes." Sirius nodded.
"Guess that makes sense." Sirius noted.
James nodded, "I'm a dab hand at Runes." And so James offered to tag team the subject with Sirius..
Lily smiled at Regulus and said, "Since you're in a different year but Marauders stick together, I have a revision schedule for you as well. " She handed him his own schedule.
Severus watched the youngest member of the group read through his schedule and said, "And of course you can do your revision with us and we can help you prepare."
He watched as Regulus smiled at the future potion's master with something akin to hero worship. "Thanks, Sev. This is great Lily."
They talked for a bit about the exams and worked out study hours which made all of them groan. The next few weeks were going to be hectic.
"Don't you all think we should be talking about the attack?" Severus finally asked.
James groaned, "No." He glanced at Lily sincerely hoping she wasn't about to get riled up again.
Severus hid a grin and said, "Well I do have one question. What was the point of it? Why attack Hogsmead now? It doesn't gain them anything."
The group fell silent as they contemplated Severus's question. Remus growled, "He's right. I can only think of two possibilities and both of them are awful." He looked up to see the Marauders staring at him waiting. "It was either a diversion or whatever they were after they failed to get."
James nodded, "They wanted Sirius dead. It was an assassination attempt." No one thought the idea farfetched, not even Sirius.
"Black family politics at its finest." Sirius quipped.
"You think it's true?" Regulus asked, looking pale.
Sirius shrugged, "There are two boxes in my world. Box one is the box of impossible. Box two, anything is possible. Voldypants wanting me dead is in box two. I mean I'm the heir to one of the most powerful families in Britain. Grandfather is Minister of Magic and It's no secret a lot of people think you would make a better Lord Black." Sirius wasn't putting himself down, just stating the facts. Regulus sat a bit straighter in his chair and didn't bother arguing with his brother. He knew as well as Sirius did that Lucius had been petitioning him to sway his allegiance to Voldemort ever since he'd sorted into Slytherin.
"What is in box one?" James asked.
"That Lily will ever say yes to you.." He grinned.
Lily spoke up and said loudly, "Well, we can ask Lord Arcturus during our Animagus training." She glared at Sirius and James, "Jumping to conclusions aren't we? Staging an entire attack on a village just to assassinate a 15-year-old boy?" Put that way it did seem ridiculous.
Sirius however took umbrage with the term boy. "First of all Lilly Flower, I am a 15-year-old wizard, extraordinarily handsome, and heir to a powerful house. I'm squarely on the side of the Light while most of my family sits squarely in Voldypants pocket."
Remus noted, "Terrorists don't need a reason to attack innocents. The whole point is to spread fear." The group fell silent then until James recalled them back to the meeting.
The conversation swirled for a bit revisiting both the subject of the Hogwarts Newsletter as well as the Aerial Combat Club.. Remus was excited about getting photography equipment for the school paper and it took a while to get Lily and Remus off the subject of wizarding photos.
Finally, it was Severus who brought them back on topic, "Aren't we forgetting something?" He asked, as his eyes fell on the youngest member of the group. "I think we have an initiation ceremony to get to?" Everyone's eyes turned to Regulus then, "Sir Regulus." Severus started, "Are you prepared to take the Marauder's oath?"
Regulus straightened in his chair and grinned. "About time."
Padfoot couldn't have agreed more.