7. A Plan Of Wine

She liked him. Alice Liddell- a kind and gentle foreigner- liked Black Joker- the most crude, arrogant, foul mouthed man Wonderland had to offer. The simple idea was ridiculous. She, a prim and proper lady, liking a man of such low standards! He was so rude, and ignorant, and selfish, and perverted, and impossible and-!

…And caring, and kind-hearted, and sweet, and humorous, and helpful, and-

No! No! No! The foreigner shook her head, a blush rising to her cheeks. She wasn't supposed to like him! He was a villain and she was the princess- he'd said so himself! In what fairytale did a heroine end up with the bad guy?

Alice smiled bitterly, laughing once. Only in Wonderland…

Her smile quickly turned to a frown, returning to the current situation at hand. She groaned hopelessly, falling face first onto her bed; her face pressing deeply into the cotton fibers of her ash colored blankets. She wanted to cry and laugh at the same time. She really was an idiot. Falling for such a man… What would her sister think? ! What would Wonderland think? !

The sudden sound of a door slamming startled her, and Alice jumped; eyes quickly averting to the figure in the doorway. Speak of the devil.

The warden shifted his weight- his silhouette barely visible in the shadows. His single ruby eye glowered at her, arms crossed, whip in hand. Rather than usual shivers of fright she expected, her cheeks flushed and teal pools widened. She felt humiliated and nervous. How could she ever face him now? It felt so awkward!

Alice looked away abruptly, squirming in her place unsurely. With each heavy footstep her heart quickened and her mouth grew dry. Soft springs of her bed sounded as she felt his pressure rest next to her, a skeptical stare boring onto her face.

Clutching her pillow against her chest and looking down, Alice asked in a squeaky voice, "Is there something you wanted, Black?"

The warden leaned forward, and her eyes widened; his shadow casting over her. Hot breathe brushed on top of her head, and her grip in the pillow tightened; a wild blush on her cheeks. What was he doing? He was so close!

"B-Black?" she stammered, her voice shrill and tiny. His chest leaned forward- quite awkwardly in his woman form- against hers; their faces inches apart.

"Hmph." He said, his fingers running through her hair. "I thought that was it."

Alice tilted her head up questionably, confused as his fingers left her hair and he sat back in his place. She quickly paled, realizing what he was talking about.

In his hand, between his slender fingers, was a large, disgusting, wiggling pink worm.

"GAH!" the foreigner shrieked, grasping her pillow tightly in shock and scooting backwards unintentionally. "W-What? ! How did that get here- in my hair? !"

"Hell if I should know." the warden said, putting pressure on the poor figure between his fingers.

"Don't kill it!" Alice suddenly cried out, reaching one helpless hand out. When the darker Joker gave her a suspicious look, she quickly added, "I…don't want a mess on my bed."

"Tch." Black glowered at her for a moment before standing up, carrying the slithering creature to the lone window and tossing it out. The outsider watched him with caution and mild curiosity as he returned to the bed; an annoyed look on his face.

"Black…" She said his name hesitantly, casting her pillow to the side. While her eyes remained glued to the sheets below her, the foreigner carefully rose to her knees; scooting over to sit next to him. The warden watched her with a blank stare, almost uninterested. She took in a deep breath. "You never answered my question earlier." "Didn't I tell you already? It was a stupid question." he argued, narrowing his eye at her. "I don't have to f*cking answer if I don't want to."

The foreigner sighed, looking away. He was right, as much as she regretted to admit it. He didn't have to answer if he didn't want to.

Alice remained silent, thoughts whirring in her mind. How would she get an answer out of him? Her nerves felt as if they were creating chaotic explosions in her body. Her heart beat unsteadily, her face growing a deeper shade of red. She wanted to speak, but no words could form in her mind.

Noticing her frozen state, Black's eye narrowed, and he asked, "What the hell is wrong with you today? Are you sure you're not drunk?"

The foreigner immediately snapped back to reality with his words, her teeth gritting together; a glare in her eyes. It was easier to scold him now that he was in such a womanly form- it was like those times when her younger sister Edith misbehaved and she had to correct her. "Of course not! Is intoxication your answer to everything I do? !"

Black was silent for a moment before nodding. "Yup."

Alice huffed, quickly looking away; arms crossed. "Can you just tell me what you came here for? I'd like to go to sleep, thank you."

"Hmph." This time it was the warden to blush lightly- much to the foreigner's shock- as he bluntly replied, "I need a f*cking tampon."

The brunette blinked, her expression blank. That was all? When she did not reply right away, Joker hissed, "You better not say a f*cking word about this! I'll fucking rip your God damned throat out if you do!"

"N-No. I'll be quiet." Alice said quietly, though her lips twitched into a smile. Black narrowed his eyes at the sight, and deciding to not upset him further, she quickly strode to her dresser; pulling out one of the requested toiletries and pressing it into his palm. "Here. I hope this is the right size. I'm not sure how… well, you know what."

"You mean there's sizes?" The foreigner inwardly giggled at his shocked- almost horrified- expression, but kept her face serious.

"Aren't there sizes for condoms, too?" she blurted out without a thought, trying to find an explanation. The warden smirked, and she immediately realized her choice of words.

"Are you implying something?" he asked slyly. Alice's eyes widened; a crazed blush on her face.

"Get out!" she shrieked in a high, mousey voice- pointing to the door in embarrassment. Rather than putting up a fight, Black snickered, standing up and exiting the room.

When she once again left alone in silence, Alice sighed, palming herself. How she could ever like a man so difficult and perverted was beyond her. In such a state, it would be impossible to ever find out his true feelings towards her!

Wait a minute…

"Are you sure you're not drunk?" The words ran through her mind suddenly, a sudden idea occupying on her mind.

No… No, no, no, no, NO! a small voice in the back of her head scolded the debating foreigner. Don't even think about it! Not happening! You know what he'll do! Don't give him that chance!

But what other options do I have? Alice questioned herself, almost hopelessly as the idea slightly appealed to her.

Sighing, she turned towards the doorway.

Might as well get this over with.

Bottle after bottle. So many bottles, which to choose from?

The foreigner stared up at the long row of alcohol in the dark, dusty stone-walled room. She had only come across this back room once while on duty, but had never found a use of it until now. She was quite unsurprised to have found out the Jokers kept a stash of alcohol somewhere.

Wine, rum, tequila, and several other intoxication-guaranteed beverages awaited her; their bottles shining dimly from her dull flashlight. She had found not wall switch, and she didn't want to risk an argument from one of the men if they found the door open and her in the midst of it all.

She read the labels carefully, unsure of which to take. She had never tasted alcohol before aside from a small sip of champagne on New Year's, and she was hesitant on intentionally drinking a whole bottle.

What would become of her, precisely? She had a mission to uphold, and she needed to fulfill it while intoxicated. However, her mind was sure to wander under so much alcohol. What if she went after the wrong Joker while under this spell? All could be thrown to ruin!

Taking a deep breath, she reached for a promising red bottle when a loud creak from behind caused her to jump, and the brunette let out a startled yelp; whirling around with wide, panicked eyes to view her intruder.

Her heart thumped unevenly as silver bells jingled lightly in the room. Her stomach suddenly felt like bricks weighing her down, and she remained still; frozen as light from the hall bathed on her figure.

"Alice?" White's voice sounded truly shocked as he revealed the foreigner, stepping into the dark room. "What are you doing in here?"

She departed her lips to speak, but her mouth had long gone dry. She tried again. Again. All that resulted was the appearance of her idiotic gaping like a fish.

Clearing her throat with a staggered breath, she stammered, "I-I-I was just- Just-" The words caught in her throat as the jester closed the distance between them, his feminine silhouette looming over her, creating a shadow. She could barely make out his features from the little light offered from the doorway- a black shadow before her.

"I didn't know the young miss drank." White said, his arm reaching forward. Her nerves hitched as she assumed he was going to touch her, but instead it extended towards a bottle on the shelf; pulling it forward. He placed it in her uncertain arms, a mysterious smile on his lips. "Is this what you were looking for?"

The maiden looked down unsurely, the weight of the alcohol feeling heavy in her arms. Wine. A large bottle of wine rested in her arms, weighing her down.

"E-Eh, um, y-yes. Thank you." Alice stammered nervously, looking away from his face. His eye… she could feel it analyzing her features, as if it was taking her expression for itself. "I-I'm sorry for barging in here! I planned to replace it first thing in the morning. I'm incredibly sorry!" "You worry too much." Joker said with such a carefree laugh, Alice could have sworn it was almost genuine. She felt his hand brush through her hair, but it felt out of place. It wasn't strong and manly as it used to be; it was small and feminine, just like a lady. "If you wanted a little to drink, you only had to ask. You live here now, don't you, princess?" "E-Eh, yes." Alice replied, taking an awkward step backwards- almost stumbling into the shelves of alcohol behind her. "B-But you don't understand! I-I'm not here to drink! It's… a project."

White looked perplexed. "A project?"

Alice nodded obediently, her chocolate tresses flying. "Yes! A… very important project." When he opened his mouth to question, she immediately added, "But it's very secret! No one's supposed to know about it."

"Then I won't tell anyone." Joker said simply, but the look in his eye did not give her any comfort.

Deciding it was better not to question, she murmured, "Thank you." White threw her a smile- whether it was genuine or a mask, she wasn't sure- before turning back towards the hall, prepared to leave. However, he paused in the doorway, sending a suspicious glance her way before exiting.

That was… odd. she thought to herself after a moment, clutching the wine bottle closer to her chest. I wonder…

Shaking her head, Alice pushed the thought aside, huffing once. I don't have time for this! Now… She weighed the bottle in her hands; her stomach in flips. Now's the real challenge…

BWAHAHA! XD NEW CHAPTER OUT! I'm going to try to start updating this thing as quick as I can. The next chapter is based off of a HnKnA roleplay I'm a part of, where TweedleLaney is Alice and I'm Black Joker. We had this moment where Alice is somewhat close to the debate she is in the story now, and well… It was fun. X'DD So I can't wait to write it! See you guys soon!