A/N: Not sure if I ever posted this here before - or if it's yet another one that has magically been deleted by the ghost that seems to eat them on this site.
You know you can trust me, right Probie?
Taking a minute to contemplate the Senior Field Agent's question from earlier in the day. It was one he'd asked Tim numerous occassions before now as well so it was no surprise that it haa popped back into his mind now, As a matter of fact, Tim McGee finds himself thinking harder on the subject that he has in a very long time. The frenetic pace of the job has seldom left any such time for any deep thinking on this and often forced him to just accept things as they happened along the way and keep going until the job is done. For some reason though, tonight, he found himself wanting to think hard on this.
Tim knows he can trust Tony. He is well aware that Tony can be trusted; to put him down; to head slap him just because he doesn't like something Tim says, to criticize Tim for everything from what he eats to the fact that he won't risk his heart on dating again and even to spread the false rumor that Tim is gay while the younger man was still a very new rookie on a job where DADT is in full force.
Tony even showed that he could be proven to blame Tim for Kate's death, almost spitefully and without a second thought. At the time of that display, Tim was overwhelmed not only by the loss of their teammate but by Tony's callousness towards Tim as well as the boss' strange behavior that Tony admitted to finding scarey. He chose to respect the fact that they were all grieving and kept his mouth shut, but the trust that Tony could stoop that low had taken root.
Surprisingly enough, he knows that Tony can even be trusted to lie to his face, trick him into not volunteering for a job that he knows the head honcho is waiting for volunteers for. Oh, on that one, he can be trusted to be charmingly deceitful and then brashly blazie when it blows up in Tim's face. What's more, he can even be trusted to act like he did nothing wrong.
And then Tim knows he can trust Tony to cross the line yet again willfully stoop so low as to set Tim up to fail in an online relationship with Tony's persona – set up to be nothing but yet another excuse to ridicule Tim's private life. He can trust Tony to lie to his face, with a straight face and laugh himself breathless about it behind his back. Tony can definitely be trusted to hit below the belt without a shred of remorse.
Tony can also be trusted to blame Tim for things that Tim has no control over, while getting away with things that would get Tim in trouble, without blinking an eye. Of this, Tim has unrefutable trust in as it has happened more than anything else that defines this trust he has in Tony. Tim knows he can also trust Tony to push his buttons until the few times he does come back with a comeback, it's loaded with frustration and unkindness, because he's been pushed to his limit and beyond. He can always trust that Tony will do this deliberately not only to get a rise out of Tim, but to make Tim look bad to everyone who happens to hear what Tim finally says when he's pushed.
There are countless other situations that this trust is supported by Tony's actions but don't stick out in Tim's memory quite so strongly. Tim still remembers them, but not as prominently as these other incidents. He can't help but add them to the pile, though, when he takes stock of just how deep this trust in Tony really goes.
Heck, Tony can even be trusted to deliberately go out of his way to mess up Tim's expense report deliberately, getting Tim in trouble without a lick of guilt. Looking back, Tim can also recall that Tony can certainly be trusted to always find mirth in Tim's bad days and misfortune; including being attacked by the dog; being thrown around in the back of the truck on numerous occasions and being in the dog house with Gibbs because of supposed witnesses sticking their noses into their investigations of a case a time or two.
Tony can even be trusted to act like the Senior Field Agent that he is and order Tim to let Tony handle something without informing the boss while Tim and Gibbs were in Los Angeles. Heck, Tony can even be trusted to go into a dangerous situation alone and recklessly not wait for backup or responsibly inform the boss of the situation beforehand. When that situation spiraled out of control, Tony showed he could be trusted not to cover Tim when the silent blame came down in buckets, as Gibbs showed with his blatent silence when they came back without Ziva.
Tim recalls that Tony can also be trusted to ridicule any contribution Tim makes to any job they undertake. He proved that in spades when he told Tim that he did a great job just lying around on the ground. Tony further proved it by telling Gibbs that Tim's leadership on the jetpack case wasn't like brain surgery. Once again, Gibbs proved at that time, that he could be trusted not to care if Tony ever showed Tim any respect while Tony proved he could be trusted not to ever offer Tim any of the respect he earned.
And finally, Tim knows, hands down, that Tony can be trusted with super glue. Tony has proven himself most trustworthy with that substance through several incidents where he proved just how junenile and thoughtless he could be by publicly finding actual joy in coating Tim's keyboard with superglue and watching Tim struggle to get himself unstuck. Oddly enough, Tony can even be trusted to get away with that prank every time he does it. Gibbs proved that himself by asking Tim if he was every gonna learn while he supplied him with a bottle of fingernail polish remover – setting it just out of his reach – while telling the team to gear up. This version of trust was bordering on contagious.
Oh, yeah, Tony could be trusted alright. He can be trusted about as much as Abby can be.
The Forensic Tech had certainly shown just how broad the spectrum of trust was that pertained to her over the years. The full scope of that story left Tim mind-boggled if he ever let himself think about it for too long. From supposedly loving him as a boyfriend to publically stating she loves him like she loves puppies, and everything in between, Abby has shown Tim that she can be trusted to walk on and mangle his heart without a second thought or a backwards glance.
Abby can even be trusted to act irresponsibly and recklessly with her own safety, knowing Tim will be held accountable for her actions. Surprisingly enough, she's shown she can even be trusted to insult him to Gibbs beforehand and then treat his home like it was her own, with no consideration for him. Before that night was over, she even showed that she could be trusted to show just how self-centered and childish she could be by demanding he get her toothbrush out of the car and by recklessly opening the door to anyone who knocked on it, despite Tim's order that she not do so
That trust was further cemented the next morning by her obvious willingness to let him be publicly punished for her recklessness. There was more of this trust than he knew what to do with at the time, so he kept his mouth shut and tolerated it all, all the while becoming buried underneath it all on the inside.
Then there's the trust Tim has in Abby to put the well-being of an animal above his own, as she proved in spades during the "Hansen" Case when the dog attacked Tim and Abby came up nearly snarling at Tim because he'd shot the dog in self defense. Throughout the four days that case took to solve, Abby proved countless times that she only cared about the dog; with her hateful remarks towards Tim and her demanding that she help pay for the dog's flowers but worst of all, by having the gall to demand he take the dog in permanently because she couldn't. This kind of trust he could definitely live without.
He also recalls that Abby can be trusted to use his soft spot in his heart for her, as well as her place as the boss' favorite, to emotionally blackmail Tim into doing things for her that she knows shouldn't be done like the instance of backing him into the corner in front of a small boy to get Tim to sneak satellite time in so the boy could speak to his mom on her ship for Christmas.
Abby can also be trusted to say things to justify her own string pulling on Tim's heart by claiming that because she loves him that should be enough. Tim thinks she's forgotten that she only loves him like she loves puppies. Or was that part of that conversation that she deliberately left out? Did she want him to believe that her loving him like puppies should be enough? Seriously? She could be trusted to actually believe that, he knew that for certain.
Abby has proven that she can be trusted to speak most unkindly about Tim behind his back for no good reason and treat him like a doormat while he is her protection detail. She can be trsuted to walk over him, speak to him as if she knows everything and he know nothing and recklessly ignore his instructions regarding her safety. She even proved that she could be trusted to not even appreciate the lengths he had to go to secure their freedom from the trouble she'd gotten them into. And to make matters worse, Abby proved she could be trusted not to speak of the incident or report it, as if it never happened.
On at least one other occasion, Abby proved she could be trusted to continue to disregard his assigned role as her protection detail, not caring of the consquences and Gibbs and Tony proved they could be trusted to blame him for her behavior. Tim has borne the brunt of this trust in spades so he is well acquainted with it.
He has already included Gibbs in the equation, so he can't stop his thoughts from returning to the man, now as he's reminded that the bossman had ruthlessly proven he could be trusted to let both of them get by with it all, well, everything he knew about. The man had also showed Tim that he cared little for him as a person, by never really caring if he was alright when he'd gotten hurt, or taking the time to hear Tim out before exacting punishment for something. Yeah, that trust had taken root early and had seeded well.
Sadly, enough, just when Tim tried to get past that trust blockage, Gibbs had raised the wall even higher by recklessly ordering Tim into that hazardous hot tub, against Tim's objections, while the others all laughed about it. That one had almost sealed the top, but he'd given them all one last chance to prove the trust he had in them could be re-aligned correctly only to find himself going through it all again with the next case.
All of this is a different kind of trust; one he could definitely live without, he finds himself thinking. He taps a key on his keyboard, sending the document through the right channels in lightening speed.
Starting tomorrow, it was the kind he wouldn't have to live with anymore.