You're lonely without me

Don't hide it
You shouldn't pretend

You need me
Even though you say you don't


I need you
Every time I think or breathe
I need to be near you

Look at me

My eyes hold my own lonely truth

You want me
Even though you say you don't
Let go
For without each other we are only half of what we could be

" Hi," I whispered quietly, my voice shaking. I was standing right in front of Jacob, trembling slightly, but not out of fear. His size was massive, his paws bigger than my hand, eyes level with mine. I could tell he was also appraising me, carefully studying my every facial expression. He didn't want me to be afraid of him. Our eyes finally locked.

" Well, how should we do this?" I asked breathlessly. I was unsure of how to proceed.

He lowered himself to the ground and with his head motioned towards his back. I moved to stand next to him, took a deep breath, and hesitantly reached out a hand to touch him. I couldn't stop it from trembling and when Jake noticed this, he unexpectedly nuzzled my cheek with his snout. His display of affection, which was surely meant to put me at ease, did just that. I immediately relaxed. Nothing to worry about. It's just Jacob Black. He won't hurt me. I slowly ran a hand along his back, through his soft fur.

" It's so thick." I said and smiled at him. He was nearly completely russet in color, except for some white and black around his snout and eyes. His whole frame screamed of power, and strength, and speed. He was magnificent.

" Just as beautiful in wolf form." I breathed.

When I realized I whispered it out loud I immediately looked at him and blushed slightly. Be calm Bella, friends can tell each other they're beautiful. It happens all the time. It's not that big of a deal. His expression was such that if human, it would have been a huge smile.

I swung my left leg and straddled his back grabbing large fistfuls of his fur.

" Too bad you don't come with a saddle and reins, " I declared sarcastically and then immediately burst into a fit of giggles. His whole body shook in laughter before he rose to his feet quickly. My laughter died down immediately.

" Umm, okay, Jake it's a little scary up here. I don't know if I'll be able to hang on." I knew that holding on to his fur wouldn't be enough, and so I lowered my torso flat against him, and encircled his neck with my arms tightly.

" Is this too tight?" He turned his head towards me and rolled one big brown eye. I guess that's a no.

Everything after that was like a blur. I kept my eyes open for only a few seconds, because after that he was running too fast for my liking. The darkness and the rocking motion frightened me. I was scared of loosing my grip on him and so I just clamped my eyes shut and held on for dear life. After about twenty minutes I felt him slow down to a walk. I opened my eyes and raised my head. It was too dark for me to make out much of anything.

" Where are we?" I was curious about how much distance he was able to cover with me on his back. He let out a little whine. Oh, of course he can't answer me. During the run I realized I was curious about a lot of things. Like how much does he have to run before he feels exhausted? How good is his vision in the dark? How is his sense of smell? How does it feel to phase? I realized I never really asked him much about being a werewolf. I suspect he never volunteered that information out of fear of freaking me out. Silly, to me he would always just be my Jacob.

He came to a stop and motioned that it was okay for me to get down. I slid down carefully and took a look at my surroundings. I could hear a waterfall somewhere to my left. I couldn't make out much detail, but I was able to see that we were standing by the edge of what looked like to be a small lake. There were trees behind and to the right of us. Jacob watched me take in my new location before he started walking towards the patch of trees behind us.

I took a few steps after him." Where are you going?" He better not be planning to leave me here, even if it's just for a few minutes.

He faced me and motioned with his snout to his hind leg. I could make out shorts tied with a thin leather rope to his left hind leg. Oh. He needed a moment alone to phase back. I didn't want him to phase back. I was hoping I could gawk at him while in wolf form for a few more minutes.

" Jake? Could you stay like this for a little longer?" I asked blushing slightly and shrugging my shoulders. "I was hoping I would get to pet you some more." I giggled. It was so much fun being witty without his cocky comebacks.

He walked back towards me and stretched out on the ground. I took a seat beside him and immediately started looking him over. I placed my small hands on his front paw and tugged on it lightly. He allowed me to pick it up.

" These are huge. No wonder you can cover so much terrain so quickly." I put it back down and scooted closer to him. I started running my hands over the fur on his belly. He must like that because he began to purr quietly.

" You're so soft." I ran my hand up his neck and started caressing his ears. Immediately, his purring grew in intensity and his eyes fluttered closed.

" You never frightened me." My sudden declaration must have taken him by surprise because he raised his head and looked straight at me. "I know that at the beginning you were afraid this part of you would scare me away. You should know that I love this part of you almost as much as I love you as Jacob. I am so thankful I have you in my life." I refused to meet his eyes and kept caressing his belly. I just wanted him to know that he was someone very important in my life. I'm pretty sure he already knew that though. Still, I felt the need to voice it. It wasn't often that I felt like being all mushy with Jake or anyone else for that matter. I suspected it was easier for me like this, with him being in wolf form. He didn't say anything, of course, but he did appear to be lost in his own thoughts. After a while he got up and disappeared behind some trees. I couldn't make out his shape, but I still turned away out of courtesy. I didn't hear him approach and so I jumped slightly when he suddenly appeared next to me. He was gone only a few seconds.

" Sorry, I didn't mean to startle you again." He smiled in apology. He was wearing only a pair of cut of gray sweatpants. The color complimented his lovely skin.

" What is this place? Do you come here often?" I had no idea where we were.

" Were about 40 miles north of Forks. I stumbled on this place one time while out for a run. We don't usually patrol this far north." He picked up a small rock and tossed it into the water.

Wow he was able to run forty miles in twenty minutes? With me on his back? Very impressive.

" What are you thinking? I can tell you have something on your mind." He turned his body and sat facing me.

" I was just thinking how you never really told me what it's like to be a werewolf. I was always curious about that part of you, but you seemed so reserved about talking about it. I don't know why." I ran a hand through my hair. A thought occurred to me. Was it because at one time I was friends with them?
"I guess I have a lot of questions." I was looking down, playing with my fingers. I didn't know if he wanted to talk to me about being a werewolf.

He grabbed my right hand and held it tightly. " I love the fact that you want to know that side of me as well. You have no idea how much. I always thought that maybe it frightened you a little that I turn into a giant dog." We both laughed.

He raised one perfect eyebrow. " What do you want to know?"

I looked out at the water thoughtfully. There was so much that I was curious about. I realized I didn't know that side of Jacob well at all. I wanted that to change tonight.

" Some questions might seem silly to you, but they're important to me." He nodded.

Alright. Let's start off with some easy questions I thought. " How far do you have to run to feel exhausted?"

He smirked. I knew he wouldn't mind bragging about his supernatural attributes. " We start feeling the burn at around 150 miles, but after a few minutes rest we can run another 150 if we needed to." He smiled. He knew I was impressed. When I thought about it for a few seconds I realized that they would have to in fact be able to run long distances in order to keep up with them. They never tired. I was surprised that it wasn't that painful thinking about them, not with Jacob here.

" Impressive. Alright next question." I pursed my lips. I didn't know which question to ask first.

" How good is your hearing?"

" I can hear everything in a five mile radius." Holy hell, his hearing is even better than theirs.

I smiled sweetly at him in order to reassure him none of this was freaking me out. He smiled in return and then swept his thumb across my knuckles. We were still holding hands.

" And you can see everything in the dark?" He nodded.

A funny question occurred to me. " Have you ever hurt yourself in order to see how fast you can heal?" I gave him a stern look. He better not think about lying.

He chuckled and said, " Well, one time the rest of the pack and I were wondering about it and then Embry just decided to stab me in the arm with a kitchen knife and find out. I was completely healed a minute later." He paused for a second before looking away. " Embry's broken jaw healed fast too."

I didn't know if I should laugh or be mortified. When our eye's locked though, laughter won out.

Suddenly a new set of questions popped into my head." How good are your senses when you're just Jacob?"

" Well, I can still see everything in the dark. I can't hear as far as when I'm in wolf form. I think a little less than two miles. I'm still much stronger than an average man. I'm pretty sure I could lift a car over my head." Wow.

I looked down at our intertwined hands. His were so big and warm. It felt nice.

" Is it much different now that you are Alpha of the pack?" I never told him, but I secretly liked the fact that he was the leader. He fit the role perfectly. Besides, he was the biggest and strongest one out of all of them.

He shrugged. " A little bit. Obviously I have a much greater responsibility, but it's fun to order them around sometimes. I never abuse my power though."

" I'm sorry I wasn't at your bonfire Jake."

" We've been over that. I told you it's alright." He pulled me in closer and then twisted me around so that I was seated between his legs, my back to his naked chest. I blushed and started to protest, but he didn't release me. " I could tell you were starting to get cold. I don't want you to get sick."

This position was a little too intimate and it didn't help that he was shirtless. It was the same position we were seated in at the bonfire and it brought back a flood of memories. Que an even darker blush.

" What's going on in that head of yours? Tell me what's got you blushing so much, " he murmured against my hair. I suspected that he knew exactly why I was blushing. His heat enveloped me completely and I found myself relaxing immediately.

I knew it was best to ignore his question. " I love how warm you are. Did you know that? You're like my own personal space heater." I felt his lips turn into a smile against my hair. His arms tightened around me. It felt amazing sitting with him like this. I could feel his love for me pouring out of his very soul. Things could be so easy if I just let go. Was I ready to move on from him? No, not quite. Regardless, I knew I couldn't take a risk of becoming the next Leah. Oh, Jake.

" I'm so sorry I keep hurting you," I barely breathed. He twisted slightly at an attempt to look at me more directly. I closed my eyes, I didn't want any eye contact with him right now.

It was silent for a few seconds before he shook his head. " I'll always be here Bella. I'll be whatever you need me to be, a crying shoulder, a best friend, or more." His arms constricted around me like a boa snake and he tenderly kissed my cheek. " You are everything to me. You're the place I call home. I would lay down my life if that's what you needed." I wanted to speak up but he interrupted me. " Wait. Let me finish. I know you are still hurting inside. Sometimes I still see it in your eyes. I would never hurt you like that. I belong to you. I will always be here for you Bella, every day of my life." He took a deep breath and released it slowly. " Every second I live that's the promise I make. " I twisted in his arms so that I could face him. His eyelashes were wet.

We were so close I could taste his sweet breath. We were staring at each other not speaking. I had so many emotions flowing through me I was visibly shaking in his arms. He was too good. I didn't deserve him. He raised his hand and wiped a tear away from my cheek. When did I start crying?

" Oh Jacob," I said lamely and threw my hands around his neck. One of his hands cradled the back of my head. I began to weep into his neck; hard. He was whispering and cooing words into my ear, but I couldn't make them out. I was crying for so many reasons at once. I was crying because of how much Jake loved me, how much he cared for me, and for how much I was hurting him. I was also crying because of him. It hit me like a steel freight train when he left me, and I'm not sure I'll ever be able to recover completely. Damn all of them. Most of all, I was crying because Jake didn't imprint on me. He didn't realize that I could never be with him for this reason. I could never tell him why.

After a few minutes my tears subsided. I lifted my head and looked at him a little embarrassed. He brushed some hair out of my face and smiled. " One day, " he stroked my cheek, " you will realize we are meant for each other." I rolled my eyes at him and giggled. The mood had shifted. Smart ass Jacob was back.

" Now, I think I should get you back home. We don't want Charlie knowing you sneaked out." He was right. It must be really late. I was sure I'd be a zombie at school tomorrow.

" Can you bring me here again? Next time maybe during the day so that I could appreciate it better. I really like it here." I looked at him questionably even though I already knew the answer.

He kissed the top of my head and stood up with me in his arms. " Of course."

He thought it would be better to carry me back home cradled in his arms. He said the reason for that was because he was afraid I would fall asleep. He was right. Halfway home I started struggling to stay awake. " It's okay Bells. You can sleep in my arms." And so I did.

If I get enough reviews for this chapter, I might just thank you all by posting the next chapter by the end of the weekend!