You rose into my life

Like a promised sunrise.

Brightening my days with the light in your eyes.

I've never been so strong,

Now I'm where I belong. "Where We Belong"

A Duet, Maya Angelou

" Hey Bella." Mike's eyes lingered at my breasts for a few seconds before he finally looked up at me and smiled. It was lunchtime and the usual gang was seated around the lunch table.

" Hey." I plopped down at the last empty seat and started picking at my salad. I wasn't sure how much sleep I had last night, but I was definetly exhausted. By the time Jacob brought me back home it was nearly dawn. I wonder if he's having as much trouble staying up in his classes as I am. I wonder if he's thinking about me at all.

" So the bonfire was tons of fun on Saturday, " quipped Lauren. She slowly looked around the table at everyone before meeting Jessica's eyes.

" We should consider doing it again sometime. Bel-la you never told us the Quillette boys were so good looking. Afraid of a little competition?" She laughed, trumping her manicured nails on the table.

" Quit it Lauren." Angela hissed.

I looked at Angela, surprised at her tone. She must be in a bad mood. It was unlike her to get angry or confrontational. Everyone else must have been surprised at her tone also, because it was quiet for a few seconds before Lauren finally spoke up again.

" I'm just kidding, relax girls." She looked at me and smiled coyly. " I was simply making an observation. The guys on the reservation are hot and Bella never mentioned that fact. Us girls will definetly have something to look at during our spring break trip." Jessica nodded her head excitedly at Lauren. I resisted the urge to sigh dramatically. Was sex and boys all Lauren ever thought about? Yeah, probably.

" Anyways," Mike looked a little annoyed. " Who else had a hangover on Sunday?" he questioned while raising his hand into the air. Both Lauren's and Ben's hands fluttered into the air instantly.

" Well, ladies and gentlemen"," continued Mike, his eyed growing big, excited. "I hope that was the practice round because Mike Newton," he pointed a thumb at his chest and I saw a few of the girls roll their eyes, " is turning nineteen in less than two weeks and you all are invited to my birthday party. It will be an event of the decade."

" Cool, I'm so there man." Ben blurted out a little too eagerly before shifting his eyes to Angela's face. She raised an eyebrow at him before shaking her head playfully.

Mike winked at Ben before looking at the rest of us.

" So, you girls are coming right?"

" Sure." Although birthday parties were nothing but bad memories in my personal life I knew I had to get over it and try and enjoy them as long as they were not mine. Both Jessica and Lauren nodded in confirmation.

No sooner do I hope the lunch bell is about to ring , freeing me from this wretched period, than does Laurens nasally voice drift towards me.

" I had no idea you were dating that guy Jacob Black."

" I'm not."

Clearly disbelieving, both her and Jessica's eyebrows shoot up.

" I would have guessed differently." She shrugs and looks away, pretending to be bored with our short conversation. She's obviously fishing for information. Wel,l I wasn't about to provide her with any details of my friendship with Jake. It was none of her business.

I'm walking leisurely down the now emptying school hallway towards the parking lot. I managed to only fall asleep twice during the entire day of classes and after jerking awake in English Lit and discovering some drool on my chin, I put a greater effort in staying awake the rest of the day. I was passing in front of the girls bathroom when suddenly the door flew open and a hand wrapped around my wrist and pulled me inside.

I let out a half strangled cry of surprise before registering it's Angela.

" Ang, let up on the wrist." I tell her. Tugging my arm back from her I rub the red marks hoping they won't bruise.

" Sorry." She walks towards the long vanity countertop and takes a seat on it. " I just really need to talk to you."

I can't help but notice that she looks really upset and tired. I instantly start feeling contrite; I've been too preoccupied with my own sad life, I rarely bother to ask her how she's doing. I take a seat next to her and wrap my arm around her shoulders.

" What's wrong Angela?"

After a few quick sniffles she jumps off the counter and quietly checks for any feet under the stall doors. Seeing none she turns and takes a seat in her old spot.

" It's sort of personal, but I have no one else to talk to about this." Her voice trails down to a whisper. I nod my head and motion for her to proceed.

" Well," she hesitates then looks at me and blushes.

" Angela, whatever it is I promise not to say anything to anyone. And I promise to try and help you if I can. Now, what's wrong?" I ask as gently as I can.

" Alright. Well Ben and I started having sex a few weeks ago."Her statement hangs in the air for a few seconds and when our eyes finally meet and we realize that we are both blushing profusely we break into a fit of laughter. I was suprised at the oddest spike of jealousy that rippled through me. I wasn't jealous of Ben. I was jealous of the fact that they could be with each other so casually while him and I were barely able to make out. Fear of death or bodily injury was a very reliable method of birth control. None of that matters now anyways. He left me. I refocused my attention on Angela.

Taking a deep breath she continued," it's nice and all that, it's just that… I never have an orgasm."

Huh. Seeing how I had virtually zero experience when it came to sex or even foreplay I knew I was the last person who could give her any decent advice. Yet, when I looked over and saw her wide and pleading eyes I knew I had to tell her something productive.

" Did you talk to Ben about this?"

" No. I'm afraid he'll be upset and embarrassed." Rolling her eyes she continued, " I don't want to hurt his self esteem or his ego." I nodded my head in understanding. In a twisted way it did make sense that she wouldn't want to tell him. I'm sure the male ego can be a very fragile thing, especially when it came to sex.

A thought occurred to me. " Can't he, you know, tell that you're not having orgasms?" Her cheeks turned a deep shade of red and she looked away from me.

" I've been faking them."

" Angela!"

" I know!" Her head falls back on her shoulders and lightly thumps against the mirror. I grab some paper towels and put them in her hand when her mascara starts to run. After a few seconds of silence she throws the wet paper towels into the sink and faces me.

" The first time it hurt. Like a lot." She emphasizes the word a lot with an arm gesture. I bite my lip, my lack of experience making me unsure of what to say.

" But the first time is supposed to hurt, right?"

Realizing she is expecting an answer I manage a small nod and an, " I guess."

When I finally look back at her she has a strange expression on her face.

" What?"

" Umm, I didn't think you were a virgin." She says this slowly and quietly for reasons obvious to both of us.

" Oh. Him and I never did that." She was smart enough not to question further and instead quickly refocused the conversation back to her problem.

" Maybe there's something wrong with me? I mean sex is a pretty straight forward thing, so if Ben is doing the act correctly it means that something is wrong with me." She sighs dramatically, " maybe I'm frigid."

" Please Angela, you are not frigid. I think that sex is a pretty straightforward thing for guys, maybe. Not for women. I'm pretty sure of it."

" There must be something wrong with me."

" No, Angela there isn't. The first thing you need to do is stop faking your orgasms. If you continue you will only make matters worse."

" Yeah, you're right."

" Let's see if there's a way to go about this without telling Ben." She perks up a little and a small smile appears on her lips.

I jump off the counter and begin to pace around the bathroom. " How about the next time you two are having sex you let him know whenever he does something that feels good." She blushes slightly but nods. " I also think it's a good idea if you steer him into what you want him to do. If small hints don't work there's nothing wrong with telling him you want him to touch you in a certain place or do a certain thing." I'm avoiding her direct gaze in order to make this easier on both of us. " You two are a couple and now lovers so there's nothing to be embarrassed about."

" Yeah, you're right. I'm so stupid for faking my orgasms. I just wanted to make Ben feel good. I know he was nervous about sex at the beginning." She lets out a big whoosh of air and jumps off the counter.

" You have no idea how much this conversation helped me. Thanks Bella."

" Sure, but sorry if my… lack of experience disappointed you. I'm sure otherwise I would have been able to help you better."

She snorts loudly before replying," You helped me perfectly, really. Enough about me. So… how is Jacob?" She asks smiling innocently.

"I'm sure he's fine."

" Aww, c'mon Bella I don't mean to pry and I don't expect you to divulge any details, but I'm honestly curious. You two left after the bonfire and hung out last night? Just give me something."

" There's nothing going on between us." She arched an eyebrow, "really. He put me in bed where I slept alone. The next day he came over with his dad and we watched some boring game on television."

" He really likes you. A lot." It wasn't a question, but a declaration.

" I know. He doesn't keep it a secret, but it's a little complicated."

" And you like him?" She said it in such a way that I wasn't sure if it was a question or an observation.

" I don't know, " I ran a frustrated hand through my hair. " like I said it's complicated Angela."

She placed a comforting hand on my shoulder " I think he could be really good for you Bella."

" I think you might be right." I whispered in reply.

I pushed the door to the bathroom and it flung open. "I'll see you tomorrow in school Ang." I called over my shoulder.

" I'm home Dad!" I tossed off my book bag, took off my boots, and made my way into the living room.

" Hey kiddo. There's a message for you on the phone." He didn't even bother looking away from the television. There must be another game on.

I was positive it was from Jake, but still decided to ask. " Who's it from dad, Jake?"

" No, the Emily girl I think. I didn't listen to the whole thing." Emily? That was a little unexpected. Was something up with the pack? I quickly dialed the message system growing more nervous by the second.

Hey Bella, this is Emily. I was sure you would be home from school by now, but guess I'm wrong. Anyways I got your number from Jacob. I was hoping you would like to hang out with me tonight. There's a huge flea market going on in Port Angeles. I was thinking of buying a few things for the spring break trip. Let me know if you're interested. I'll be leaving at 4:30 so you can catch me till then. Bye.

Relief flooded over me instantly. Nothing was wrong. Jake was alright. She just wants to hang out. I didn't realize how tightly I was gripping the receiver until I put the phone down and saw that my knuckles were white. I was more than a little surprised at Emily's invitation. I'm not sure where her kindness comes from, but I was glad she didn't dislike me for always hurting Jacob. She is too nice to me, as is the rest of the pack. I looked at the clock. It was 4:23.

" Shit."

" Isabella! Language."

Oops. " Sorry dad." Our talk with Angela took longer than I thought. I dialed Emily's number quickly, hoping I would still catch her before she left.

She picked up the phone on the first ring. " Hello?"

" Emily it's Bella."

" Hey I was hoping you would call. So what do you think? Want to go to Port Angeles with me?" She asked a little timidly.

" Yeah I really would. Thanks for inviting me."

" Great. I'll pick you up in twenty minutes. See you then."

I threw the phone down , ran up the stairs, and quickly freshened up. I grabbed my wallet and my keys and came downstairs.

" I'm going to Port Angeles with Emily dad, I hope you don't mind." I threw in the last part in order to make him feel like I asked for permission.

" Alright, but remember it's a school night. I don't want you to stay out too long." He shifted on the sofa in order to look at me better. I saw his eyes flicker to the wallet I was holding. He stood up and pulled something out of his pocket, handing it to me.

" Here Bella."

I looked down and saw that he had given me a fifty dollar bill.

" No, Dad. You don't have to…"

" Stop right there Bells. You're my daughter so I can if I want to. And I want to." His tone rang with finality. I knew there was no arguing so I just nodded slightly.

" Thanks dad."

"Have a good evening kiddo. I'm glad you're hanging out with Emily."

Just then I heard a car pull up and honk twice.

" That's gotta be Emily. I won't be out too late dad. And again thank you." I waved the bill he had given me before sticking it in my wallet.