I feel you,
oh how I feel you,
so close
though you're so far away
your touch
your mind
your body...
your soul
next to me,
beside me...
with me
Your touching me,
mesmerizing me with your eyes
filling me with your touch
melting me with your sensuous kiss
I taste your kiss,
all day long,
though I have yet to actually taste it
I imagine,
fantasize
about you
and my desire,
my fantasies...
my needs
There's so much I desire -
to be with you
in every way possible...

Jacob's POV

I was running through the forest, the wind whipping past me. I knew Bella was hanging out with Emily tonight, and so I was completely free to do anything I wanted, but the only thing I wanted was to spend time with Bella.

I heard the crackle of minds and realized that most of the pack had phased.

Bella. Oh Bella! Told you he would be thinking about her when we phased.

Shut it. I silently growled.

I had no secrets from them. When we were wolves our minds were connected. I could hear theirs too, and most of them felt sorry for me. The rest were getting annoyed by my constant preoccupation with her.

It will all work itself out man, you'll see, thought Seth.

It's only a matter of time, added Sam. His thoughts were confident.

I quickened my pace, the thick green forest almost blurring around me. I didn't stop until I was practically back at La Push. I began to pace while waiting for the others to join me. After a little bit I could hear the sound of paws hitting the wet soil. Several seconds later Sam, Seth, and Embry emerged from over a hill.

Who wants to watch over Bella and Emily? I asked through my thoughts. I wanted it to be me, but the guys all threw a hissy fit and demanded some male bonding time with me. Male bonding as in playing video games and eating too much junk food.

I got it volunteered Seth.

They're going to the annual flea market in Port Angeles. If you stay near the edge of the town you should be able to hear them. No, I wasn't an obsessed stalker. We wouldn't be intruding on them if it wasn't for the faint smell of vampire we crossed a few days earlier. It looked like the bloodsucker was only passing through, but neither Sam nor I were about to let our women travel all the way to Port Angeles unprotected.

Who do you want on patrol tonight? questioned Embry.

It's Quil and Leah's turn.

So let's go hang out at my place. Emily left dinner on the stove, thought Sam.

We silently agreed and began the run towards his house. Seth took off in the direction of Bella's. Not even a minute later we were behind Sam's house, a few feet in the forest. We wanted to make sure Seth got to Bella's before Emily picked her up. Through his mind I could see him approach her home from behind, stop at the edge of her yard, and take shelter behind some shrubs. I could make out the sound of Emily's engine in the distance. She was just pulling up in front of Bella's. Two quick honks.

" That's gotta be Emily. I won't be out too late dad. And again thank you," I heard my Bella's sweet voice from inside the house. A few seconds later- a door slam and feet pounding down the driveway.

No worries. I got this. Seth's mind was full of confidence and reassurance. He knew how important Bella was to me and Emily to Sam and his thoughts were soothing.

You guys can go relax now.

Somewhat mollified, we phased back and went inside. I dropped on the sofa; my thoughts completely occupied with all things Bella. Maybe I'm being too complacent with her safety? I didn't doubt Seth's ability to protect them from harm, but I felt like it was my responsibility to make sure she was always safe. Stupid bloodsuckers aren't the only threat to her. She's just so small and delicate.

" It can't be healthy thinking about her all the time. Here," Embry handed me a full plate of food. " Let's play some video games."

Two plates of food and a couple of games later I still couldn't get Bella off my mind. I wondered if she was having a good time with Emily. I wondered what she and Emily were talking about. Did she think about me at all today? Does she miss me even a fraction of how much I miss her? I remembered the first time I had seen her on the beach with her friends. She'd been so beautiful and lovely. Then when she showed up with those broken bikes, she looked like a shell of a person she once was. She looked like a ghost. I hate Edward Cullen so fucking much. I wish I could rip him to little pieces and then use his head as a soccer ball.

" Easy man."

Huh? When I looked at Sam confused, he just motioned to my right hand. It was shaking and squeezing the arm rest with enough pressure to make it groan with strain.

" Emily loves this couch. She'll kill us if we damage it."

" Where is she anyways? Shouldn't they be back already?"

" Chill Jake. You know how women are. They probably can't decide what color panties to buy."

Oh God. The memory of Bella standing in my kitchen in nothing but her skimpy underwear and my tattered t shirt jumped into my mind. She looked like personified sex. Her thick hair cascading on either side of her beautiful face, her plump rose lips slightly moist, and those ivory legs which seemed to run for miles. The delicate curve of her hips and the slope of her amazing cleavage almost knocked me off my feet. I had no idea she owned underwear like that. I recalled thinking how soft the skin on her inner thighs must feel like. I wonder what it must feel like under my fingertips, under my tongue…

I unconsciously licked my lips and quickly looked at the guys. My breathing had picked up significantly, but they didn't seem to have noticed. Their attention was solely occupied by whatever game they were now playing.

I didn't sleep a wink that night, I sat on the couch trembling slightly and fighting the urge to run to the bathroom and jerk off all night. I couldn't do that, not with her in the house. Instead, I spent the whole night envisioning us making love to one another. I wondered about a million things, about a million different ways in which I would touch her. I remember tediously ignoring the straining erection in my shorts all night.

I keep the t shirt she wore that night in it's own drawer. I will never wash or wear it again. Unfortunately, the next day my mind slipped when we were phased and my nights activities slipped for all to hear. They had a huge laugh about it. They all tease me about it, especially Leah. Assholes.

I flew off the couch and headed towards the porch door.

" Where you going? It's almost your turn to play," asked Embry.

" To phase. I need to find out what's taking them so long. It's getting dark, they should be home already." I'm sure they would have made fun of me if it wasn't for the tone of my voice.

I walked across the small yard and into the forest a few feet, before stripping quickly and phasing.

It took me half a second to pick up Seth's thoughts.

Hey, he thought. He was feeling both sad and annoyed that I came to check up on him.

I'm not checking up on you. You're doing great. You know how mental I am when it comes to Bella. It's nothing personal. He immediately cheered up.

They're on the highway right now. I'm following them through the woods. They should be home soon.

I felt the crackle of more minds. Leah and Quil had phased for their patrol.

Yo

Why are you two phased? It took her a second to read our minds and see that we were watching Bella and Emily. Oh.

I'll see you at Sam's Seth. We're still playing video games. Leah, Quil, no slacking. I phased back before I could hear any banter from the two of them. I redressed and headed back into the house.

Sam looked at me expectantly. He worried about Emily just as much as I did about Bella. He was just better at hiding it.

" Em should be here in about twenty."

He smiled slightly and went back to playing.

" Hey didn't someone say that it was my turn to play?" Now that I knew Bella would be home safe, my mood had drastically improved. I sat down and looked over in time to catch the joystick that Embry flung directly at my face.

" I should have just let it break on my face. You would have been in so much trouble with Emily," I muttered under my breath and they both broke out in laughter.

A few minutes later Seth strolled in, nodding at us before immediately going into the kitchen for a plate of food, I presumed. "Bella's home. Emily should be here in a few."

" Hey guys. Hi baby," Emily walked in through the kitchen and Sam immediately walked over to greet her. He easily flung her into his arms before placing her on the edge of the counter top and stepping in between her legs. She wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him passionately. I was surprised at the oddest spike of jealousy that ran up my spine. I wasn't jealous of Emily, I just wanted that with Bella. When the kissing grew more intense Seth interjected.

" Hey, hey now you don't want to ruin my youthful innocence now do you?" he said jokingly.

" I'm pretty sure it was ruined in the first five minutes after you phased the first time," threw in Embry. Emily's face flooded with color and she hid her face in Sam's chest. Yeah, he was probably right. I've been exposed to more sexually explicit images while phased than I can recall. It was something you just had to deal with as a werewolf. Whenever Sam or Paul slipped and let through explicit images of lovemaking we tried to ignore them. Tried being the key word. I've learned more about sex from those two while phased than any book could ever teach me.

Sam shot Embry a dirty look before speaking, " so did you have fun with Bella baby?"

Yes, this is what I wanted to talk about also. Bella.

" We did. Oh, I bought you all some beach towels for the trip." She spilled them out of a plastic bag and onto the kitchen table. " You can choose whatever color you like best." The guys quickly dove for the towels , choosing their favorite. There was only one left on the table. Yellow it was.

" We made plans to hang out again."

" That's nice," answered Sam.

I too, was glad, that Bella decided to become better friends with Emily. But what I really wanted to know was if she said anything about me at all today. I didn't want to come right out and ask her, the guys would surely just make fun of me for my obsession. I looked at her imploringly and she smiled with what seemed like a knowing smile.

" Bella told me to say hi Jacob. She told me to tell you she had a great time with you last night."

Of course all the guys started howling and whistling. Pricks. They know very well that nothing happened.

" Assholes," I muttered and went to sit on the couch.

" He wishes! " yells Paul just as he walks in through the door. " Hey all."

Emily came and sat down next to me.

"Soon Jacob. I know it," she whispered the last part.

I wanted to believe her so badly. I knew Bella was no longer the shell of a person she once was. I am slowly and gradually fixing her, gluing her back together. I also knew she had feelings for me that were much stronger than those for just a friend. But she was stubborn and full of denial. I just needed to be patient until she realized it on her own.

" Explain to me again why you refuse to tell her she is your imprint?" asked Paul.

" I told you a thousand times." I stood up and began pacing around the tiny living room. " I know her. She is selfless. If I were to tell her that I imprinted on her all those months ago she would feel she needs to be with me out of obligation. She wouldn't want to break me so completely. I won't force her into anything. She knows imprints are very powerful and permanent. I want her to be with me because she is completely in love with me. And only me." I added the last part quietly and plopped back down on the couch. It was quiet for a few seconds. " One day, when she loves only me, I will tell her. But not before then."

" She does love you. She pushes the feeling away though. She's not completely healed. Not yet," Emily spoke.

" We're all aware of that," said Embry.

" And it's like she's afraid, I don't know how to explain it, but I have a feeling there might be something else to it also?" Emily continued.

" What do you mean?" I jumped up and crouched down in front of her. " Did she say something? What makes you think that?"

" I'm… not sure. Call it female intuition. But she does love you, very much."

My entire heart warmed at that.

" Well duh. Jake imprinted on her. Means they're soul mates. Of course she's gonna love him back." Quipped Leah. Her and Quil just walked in through the back. " Patrol all done, boss. All clear."

" And when she finally let's herself love you Jake, " began Paul, his eyes shining with mischief, " it's gonna be sexy time!" He yelled out and high fived a laughing Embry. That's it, I'm going to break his face. One more word. " We're all sick of living your wet dreams Jake, you'll finally be able to take them out on Bella!" I flew off the coach and towards Paul, but he was already running for the yard. I ran outside just in time to see Paul phase and take off into the woods. I wasn't about to fall for it this time. I turned back and headed into the house.

" I'm going home guys, remember you're not allowed to mention anything to Bella. She can't know." They nodded in understanding. I took off running down the beach. Two minutes later my head was hitting the pillow. I could faintly detect Bella's sweet smell on my pillow and sheets. I knew I would dream of her again.

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