Wow it's been awhile since I updated. Sorry about that! Classwork has totally got me busy! Anyways I'm on school holidays at the moment so I'll try and update as much as possible! As promised to two of my lovely girls, this chapter is dedicated to Em-Chan and Kails... without you guys I wouldn't be able to write!

Side Effects – Chapter 5

Rehab… the word echoed in my ears loudly. I blinked at them in innocent confusion. Why the fuck would I need to go to a rehabilitation centre? There was nothing wrong with me! I was just having a few cravings. And all this nonsense about me being underweight was bullshit! What did they expect when I was broke?

I stared at Ray and raised an eyebrow.

"Rehab? I don't think so Ray. I think you are all delusional."

I heard Ray and Kai sigh at my stubbornness. I yelped when strong arms grabbed me and dragged me over to a pair of scales. I grumbled out protests as I was stood onto scales.

Max lent down and poked the scale reading. "88…that's not right is it? I think it's broken."

"No they aren't broken. Tyson was on there this morning, remember?"

I stomped my foot angrily on the scales. "Stop making this out to be a big deal! There is nothing wrong with me!"

Kai grabbed my arm tightly and I yelped loudly again. "Nothing wrong? You are anorexic, Hilary! If you lose anymore weight you will die!"

I blinked at him and tried to pull my arm away unsuccessfully. "Well! Maybe I want to die! It's better than having to deal with you fuckfaces!"

I heard 5 gasps of surprise and Kai let go of my arm. Taking advantage of the situation, I ran out of the room as fast as I could. I ran out of the Tyson's dojo as fast as my legs would allow me too and I didn't look back. I wanted to get away from them.

Panting loudly, I lent over some rails as I tried to catch my breath. My back heaved and my eyes closed as I tried to take in oxygen, my tiny body struggling.

I was so distracted that I didn't hear the footsteps behind me and the sniggering. I jumped slightly when I felt a tap on my shoulder. Spinning around, I looked up and found myself looking at a tall dark, haired man with vibrant green eyes. He smiled at me almost innocently and looked me up and down.

"Hey babe, how'd you like to make some money?"

Money? Money that could get me home? Sounded good to me.

I smiled at him and ran my boney hand up his chest. "Sounds good, sugar."

xxxx

The sound of my clothes hitting the floor reached my ears. I had been escorted back to the guy's house, whose name was still unclear to me. I felt stubble brush against my cheek as his lips fell onto mine. I kissed him back half-heartedly, thinking how much I'd rather it be Kai kissing me. I was so obsessed with Kai's lips; those soft and full lips. I wish Kai loved me as much as I loved him. Maybe if he did, I wouldn't have run away from everything and became what I did.

I reached my hands up to undo the guy's clothing. He wasn't anywhere as near as gorgeous as Kai or Matt but he had a really good body. He definitely worked out and he had a nice collection of tattoos coming along. He wasn't bulky but I could see the outline contours of muscles and I traced them with my finger gently. His skin twitched under my touch and he leant down and bit my neck playfully.

I felt his rough hands grip my hips harshly. I was sure there would be bruises there. I was suddenly aware that we were both naked. His nails dug into my boney hips leaving half moon marks and I was jerked forward closer to him.

I closed my eyes pretending that I was with someone else and not this stranger who was using me as a whore.

I back ached as he thrust forward into my petite body. He wasn't gentle. I didn't expect him to be. He was using me for his own selfish pleasure so I had to deal with it.

I made a noise of pain when he grabbed my breast roughly. However he took it for a moan of pleasure. He leant down and licked my ear.

"That's it baby, moan for me. Say my name, say Tim."

My eyes screwed up from the pain… the physical and emotional. "T-Tim…"

I heard him groan and he started thrusting harder and deeper into my tiny body. I felt like I was about to break but the thoughts of getting away from all this kept me going. I would be home soon, away from questions, away from disappointment… I'd have my drugs back.

I felt Tim jerk into my body as he came, a loud groan echoing around the room. It was finally over. I gasped when he collapsed on my body, his weight crushing me. He weighed a tonne in comparison to me and my body struggled to breathe. Using all my strength, I pushed him off me and he rolled next to me.

Tim sat up and reached into the pocket of his trousers and pulled out his wallet. I saw him pull out some cash and watched as he threw it at me.

"There, now leave. My wife will be home soon."

I felt disgust run through my veins at his words and I quickly got dressed and left.

xxxx

"Can I please have a seat to New York?"

The airline employee looked at me and flashed a fake smile my way. "Sure. That will be 150."

I handed her the cash and waited while she typed on her little computer before handing me a ticket. "Do you have any luggage?"

I shook my head and grabbed my ticket and headed towards the gate I was allocated to. People kept looking at me and I was sure they knew everything about me and how disgusting I was. It was like they could see into my soul through my dead eyes and they knew I was fucked up.

I took a seat at the gate and stared at the floor immensely. This is what I had become; a drug addicted girl who was severely underweight and didn't have a conscience since sleeping with other people's spouses wasn't a problem.

I was weak. There was no doubt about it. If I was strong, I would have stuck college out and I wouldn't be in this mess. This beautiful, fucked up mess that was called Hilary.

xxxx

I boarded the plane and a few hours lately we touched down at a familiar place. I was home and it felt good, yet terrible at the same time.

I still have a bit of money left over so I hailed a cab from the airport and told the driver my apartment address.

"So did you have fun on your trip?"

I looked up at the driver. "What?"

"Your trip. Did you have fun?"

I blinked and mentally sighed realizing he was trying to make conversation. "Sure. It was great."

"Oh that's good to hear!" The driver was an old man who looked like he was a good man but I just didn't want to speak. Every time I had to lie, it made me feel worse and worse about myself and made me realize just how much of a lie my life was.

Luckily, the rest of the ride I just had to nod and listen to the man, who I found out was James, as he gave me a detailed account of his life. Sounded like he was truly happy and for that I was envious.

He pulled up outside my apartment and I handed him the change and headed out of the cab before I could find out what happened with his sister's best friend's brother's girlfriend.

I got lucky as a neighbor came out as I was going in so I wouldn't have to buzz anyone. I climbed the stairs to the correct floor and I headed down the corridor to my door. I stood motionless at my door for a few moments before plucking up the courage and knocking softly. I heard cursing come from inside and footsteps before the door flung open to reveal Matt. He was only wearing a pair of boxer shorts and had messier hair than normal.

Matt looked down at me and I was suddenly pulled into a hug. "Oh Hil! I've been so worried." I was pulled inside and I heard the door close. Matt fell to his knees and grabbed my hands.

"I'm so sorry baby. I love you so much. I can change. Please forgive me."

As usual, I nodded and forgave him like that. "It's okay Matty." In truth, it wasn't okay but a little white lie never hurt anyone… right?

Matt stood up and planted a soft kiss on my lips and I kissed him back with the little strength I had left. He smiled and hugged me tightly and I could feel my bones pressing into him. It should have disturbed me but it didn't.

I pulled back slightly and looked at him. "Matt, let's go see Tom."

xxxx

Knocking on the pale red door, we waited for a few moments before it was opened and Tom stood before us in a pair of boxer shorts and a wife beater.

"Hil! Matt! How good to see you"

I forced a smile and walked in and headed to the kitchen as usual. Matt sat down on a chair and pulled me onto his lap as an affectionate gesture. I leant back into him as tom walked into the kitchen and sat down across from us.

"Well my homies, what can I do for you?"

I pulled out the remaining amount of money that Matt and I had between us and handed it over to Tom.

"You know the drill."

Tom nodded before disappearing to get our goods. He returned within a few moments and handed me a small package which I took greedily. I was craving drugs so bad right now. I didn't care that they were bad for me, I didn't care that I had forgiven Matt after he beat and raped me, I didn't care that I had lost my friends again. All that mattered was this small package in my hands. It gave me power and control and that's what I loved about it.

I stood up and smiled at Tom. Matt stood up behind me and grabbed my hand almost lovingly before pulling me out of the kitchen.

"See you Thomas."

"Bye Matt, seeya Hil!"

I waved at him as I followed Matt back down the corridor and out the door. Memories of the last few days began to fade as my life fell back into its usual routine. Still in a daze, Matt led me back to the apartment and I fell onto the bed in an exhausted heap. I felt dirty and broken. I heard Matt give an annoyed grunt.

"I can't find the syringes."

I mentally sighed and knew exactly who had them. I sat up and grabbed the drugs.

"Don't worry about them. Let's just snort it."

Matt nodded and I set the drugs up in lines on some paper. Leaning down, I snorted the lines. My body immediately felt like it was exploding in pleasure. It relaxed and once I had finished my lines, I fell back on the bed again and stared at the ceiling, a goofy smile planted on my face. This was my idea of happiness.