Help, I have done it again
I have been here many times before
I hurt myself again today
And, the worst part is there's no-one else to blame

Be my friend
Hold me, wrap me up
Unfold me
I am small
and needy
Warm me up
And breathe me

Ouch

I have lost myself again
Lost myself and I am nowhere to be found,
Yeah I think that I might break
Lost myself again and I feel unsafe

Be my friend
Hold me, wrap me up
Unfold me
I am small
and needy
Warm me up
And breathe me

- Sia, Breathe Me

" Tell me you really want this."

I knew exactly what he was asking. Tell me this isn't the alcohol talking, tell me you are done with denial. Tell me you love me too. We stood like that for an indefinite amount of time, our lips almost touching, our eyes locked.

"I'm so afraid." I breathed, my voice breaking.

" I know," he murmured back. " And for the life of me I can't figure out why."

Bella's POV

" Jacob," I stuttered shaking my head once. My eyes pleaded with him to just let it go.

Please.

My nails were still digging into his biceps but he didn't seem to care.

" Tell me," he whispered. " Please."

No. He can't know the truth. It would break him. He wasn't going to give up easily. I could feel it. I could sense his determination.

My entire body was trembling now, and I'm not sure I would have been able to keep upright if it wasn't for Jake's strong hands wrapped around my waist.

I couldn't form any words; my brain was battling my heart with what to say.

" Tell me," he pleaded, pressing his soft warm lips against my cheek.

" No, Jake. No."

I tried to move away but his hands formed gentle shackles around my wrists. He pulled me to him roughly, holding me gently by my upper arms as he tried to make eye contact with me. I refused to look at him and closed my eyes. Suddenly, I was being pulled off the dance floor. My eyes cracked open.

" Where are we going?" I asked.

As soon as I asked the question I realized I didn't need to, because in a matter of seconds he managed to pull me through the crowd and out the back door. Before my eyes could adjust to the darkness in the alley, I was spun around and pressed up against the wall. I blinked a few times and waited for my eyes to adjust. As soon as they did, I met Jake's eyes. They burned with unparalleled ferocity. His gaze held so much emotion a whimper escaped me of it's own accord. There was no way he missed it. He placed his hands on either side of my face then leaned in slightly.

" What are you afraid of ?" he demanded. I immediately recognized his alpha tone.

I have to lie… or something. I can't hurt him by telling him the truth, and I'm too selfish to loose him. I have to be strong for him, for me.

" I…I dunno why I said that Jake." I stammered stupidly.

" Liar."

I bit my lip and refused to look at him. Two warm fingers caught my chin and pushed it upwards.

" You were always a bad liar Bells. You still are."

My eyes met his and he smiled gently. He was so beautiful. No. Don't think thoughts like this. You are only making it harder down the line. I have to push all those confusing feelings, the weak, pathetic impulses that flood through my veins at the sight of his perfect face…

I have to push them down, push them away. We are not destined for each other. The fact that he didn't imprint on me proves it. He will find his soul mate, alphas always do.

Pain and sadness must have rippled through my features because suddenly Jacob's warm hands were cupping my face.

" Bella?" my name was a question.

I'm in love with you Jake

" It's nothing," I lied.

" Really, I don't know why I said that." I continued.

" Maybe what I meant was that I was afraid because a second before you rejected my kiss." I felt my cheeks flame up. Maybe he would believe me, it did make some sense.

" Yes, that," he whispered.

His entire face was aglow with emotion, with… no I refused to see it. He leaned in closer and I took a tiny step backwards. My thighs pressed up against the cold concrete wall.

" It took every ounce of will power I have to stop you honey."

I felt my blush spread down my neck and chest. " I'm sor..." He quickly pressed a finger against my lips, stopping me.

" No Bella. Don't you dare apologize for that, " he whispered quietly. " You have no idea what it means to me." He shook his head in frustration before looking back at me. " Just don't apologize for that. And if you regret it I don't want to know."

" Jake, I… I…"

" Do you regret it?" he asked suddenly.

Didn't he just say he didn't want to know? His face was serious, jaw tense. He was braced, ready, in case I said the words he didn't want to hear. But did I regret it? Yes and no.

" I, well, I'm not sure." I paused. He didn't even blink. He was waiting for me to elaborate.

" The way we were dancing, the way you were looking at me, and holding me, well," I hesitated, " it felt incredible."

The last word rolled off my tongue slowly, shyly. Maybe I should have used a different word because as soon as it left my mouth I saw his mouth twitch into a smile but he didn't say anything. He still wanted me to continue. And for some reason I did.

" I mean, you must have felt it too!" I blurted. " The current, the electricity between us in that moment…" I trailed off, embarrassed. I've said too much. I felt the gentlest caress on my forehead a second before I registered what it is. Jacob's incredibly soft lips.

" Yes," he breathed against my skin. " I feel it all the time. Sometimes I think it will bring me down to my knees."

I started trembling again. There were too many emotions going through my heart, and through my head.

" Now, tell me what you're afraid of," he murmured.

His lips brushed against my skin and I whimpered. I should have known he wouldn't believe my earlier lie.

Placing a soft kiss on my forehead he whispered, "are you afraid of what I am?"

" Of course not," I answered almost angrily. I placed my hand over his heart and smiled. His heartbeat was strong and steady. " You're Jacob. I love everything about you."

Lips softer than petals brushed against my forehead before kissing my left eyelid. " So you love me then?" he teased , I think.

I refused to take the question too seriously. " Of course. You're my best friend and the most important person in my life."

His lips brushed across my eyelid and down my nose before blessing the tip of it with a kiss. I didn't dare meet his eyes.

" And you think I'm sort of beautiful yes?" His sweet breath blew across my face.

" You are beautiful." I barely breathed, but I knew he heard me. A quiet noise in the back of his throat told me so.

This time his lips delicately brushed up my nose and across my right eyelid before planting a soft kiss there. I was pretty sure my knees were a second from giving out, so I put a hand on his shoulder for some much needed support.

" You are so beautiful Bella. So alluring." His voice a few octaves lower.

After a short pause he continued, " I love your spirit," his lips traveled lazily down my cheek. " I love your passion, your bravery." A soft kiss to my cheek. My eyes closed and I prayed I wouldn't pass out.

" I love your capacity to love," he murmured, skimming his lips closer to where I wanted to feel them.

" I love your stubbornness," his lips traveled langorously down my cheek to the very edge of my lips, planting tiny butterfly kisses as they went. There they paused, and I could feel him hesitating, gauging my reaction.

Well? Lemme know what you think! Should Bella and Jake finally kiss in the next chapter? My mind is already made up, but I'd still like to hear what you think.

Also sorry about the long break, I know how it feels to wait and wait for a story to update. Trust me I do.

If you like my story and think it's good please recommend it to your friends. If I get a good response from this chapter I'll post the next chapter this weekend. :)

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