A/N: Thank you everyone for the support!
TW: Mentions of character death.
Chapter Twenty-Nine
.
~July~
.
Monday PM
.
Moony (12:05):
Why didn't you mention how talented your brother is at playing the violin?
Idk where he even pulled it out from but there he was, bold as brass, playing it this morning!
.
Padfoot (12:17):
Hey love!
Sorry, we've been a bit rushed today! People must be following our insta account.
.
Padfoot (12:19):
And yes, I played the piano, and he played the violin.
Our cousins played the flute and cello respectively.
.
Moony (12:21):
Hey, how's it all going? No trouble I hope :/
And wow, I'm a little upset not to have heard you play.
.
Padfoot (12:22):
I don't have a piano, do I?
Nope, no real trouble, although I feel like I need a squirt gun to make people respect the social distancing policies.
.
Moony (12:25):
I thought you guys put the stencils on the pavement outside?
As for the piano, next time we go up London, you can play on the public one!
.
Padfoot (12:27):
*Sigh* Yes, we do.
Had one rowdy Asian woman getting snapped at by a girl telling her to back off.
In the girls defence, this woman was RIGHT up her arse!
.
Moony (12:29):
Ah shit :/ what happened?
.
Padfoot (12:31):
Well, nothing bad per sé.
But this girl told her, 'The signs and LAW say 2 meters apart!'
And this woman said, 'You've got 2 meters in front of you, don't you?'
.
Padfoot (12:32):
Like … it's not subjective based on which way you're facing!
It's a virus! It doesn't travel in clouds and take directions.
It's all encompassing!
.
Moony (12:25):
I'm sorry, cariad. Seems like humans are still not evolving to have more than a singular braincell.
.
Padfoot (12:26):
Pfft, I wish!
Anyway, I had Jimmy man the collection window and I went outside with a bottle of detol.
.
Moony (12:27):
Sirius! You can't do that!
.
Padfoot (12:28):
Show me the law that says I can't?
Anyway, after sprayed near a few arseholes, I grabbed one of our chalkboards and wrote up a notice.
'ANYONE NOT RESPECTING THE 2M RULE, WILL BE SUBJECT TO A SURCHARGE AT CHECKOUT.'
.
Moony (12:31):
I won't lie, that's a little hot.
How would you invoke it though?
.
Padfoot (12:32):
I walked along the line every ten minutes and hand out little cards to a few people.
They were NOT pleased, but IDC.
Maybe next time they'll think about someone other than themselves.
.
Moony (12:34):
True, queueing up right in someone's shadow, isn't going to get you served any faster.
.
Padfoot (12:35):
Well, a few of them have probably left bitchy comments online, but IDC.
All it's going to do is show that they're the arsehole.
If you respect the distance, you don't get a surcharge, simple.
.
Moony (12:37):
So, when are you two closing for the day?
.
Padfoot (12:38):
We're going to be shutting at 2pm.
I think a 5-hour day is manageable for now.
And it means we don't have to waste ultra-quality produce on sandwiches and wraps.
.
Moony (12:40):
That's true, earn a little more money and restock.
.
Moony (12:43):
I got an e-mail from my professor today.
The Uni has decided not to re-open until September.
.
Padfoot (12:44):
Oh, what does that mean for your graduation?
.
Moony (12:45):
You're so convinced I'll pass :/
And it means that we would get our diplomas posted to us and no graduation ceremony.
.
Padfoot (12:46):
Ah, that sucks :/ no graduation party.
.
Moony (12:48):
*Shrug*
I don't mind.
Wasn't like I was gonna go.
.
Padfoot (12:49):
Not even with me, your dashing, handsome, boyfriend?
.
Moony (12:50):
Oh … I honestly didn't think …
Would you want to have come with me?
.
Padfoot (12:52):
It would have been nice
But we can always have a mini celebration ourselves.
Maybe even have a little family meal at the Potters.
.
Moony (12:54):
You want me to meet the Potters?
Woah …
.
Padfoot (12:55):
Of course, only when you're ready to.
And we can always do an informal zoom-call at some point if you like?
.
Moony (12:57):
That -actually feels like a lot less pressure, thank you.
.
Padfoot (12:58):
Anything for you, Moonshine x
.
Moony (13:00):
Do you -you're not expecting to meet my parents, are you?
.
Padfoot (13:02):
Honestly? I understand why you wouldn't want that.
I don't know much about your family, but I know it's a sore spot.
.
Padfoot (13:04):
If it makes you feel better Effie will probably adopt you x
.
Moony (13:05):
She's gonna wanna feed me up, isn't she?
.
Padfoot (13:06):
Every Sunday, you're welcome to attend!
I love the idea of it … all of us sat around the family table, eating dinner, laughing and joking.
That cute little blush you get when you're nervous.
.
Moony (13:08):
Paddy … x
What about Regulus?
.
Padfoot (13:09):
What about him?
Is the violin annoying you?
Because I can get him to stop :P
.
Moony (13:10):
No, I quite like his playing.
And I meant, if we're all going to the Potter's for Sunday lunch, would Regulus just sit around on his tod, or would he come to?
.
Padfoot (13:12):
Oh … that's actually a good question …
Wow, I feel so dumb for not even thinking about that!
Eh, it'll be fine. Effie always wanted a big family.
.
Moony (13:13):
She'll have her hands full with us lot, then x
.
Padfoot (13:14):
She will love you; I promise!
Okay, babe, I need to go help Jimmy.
Can we zoom later? I miss your gorgeous face 3
.
Moony (13:16):
Of course, cariad x
.
Padfoot (13:17):
I love when you call me that x
.
Moony (13:18):
I'll always call you that 3
.
~0~
.
The sudden silence hit Remus like a freight train. He hadn't realised how lost he'd been in Regulus' playing until it had ended. Craning his head up from his pillow, he set his book aside and slung his legs over the edge of the bed. Padding out in soft socks e walked down to the living room just in time to see Regulus easing the instrument into its leather case. Resting against the doorframe, Remus watched as he worked away, snapping the clasps shut and propping the case upright to rest in the corner by the tall bookcase.
Turning to face the room, Regulus jolted a little at not being alone anymore.
"Hello," he gave a tight smile. "I wasn't bothering you, was I?"
"No, you're fine. It's nice, hearing you play."
Regulus shifted stiffly, combing his fingers through the hair at the nape of his neck. "I -uh -w-who were you talking to just now?"
"Oh, just Pad -er -Sirius. He was telling me how things are going at the café."
"No casualties, I hope?"
"None yet, but the day is still young."
Regulus smirked and shook his head, "My brother sticking to the rules? That's a new one."
Chuckling, Remus was about to ask if his roommate fancied a late lunch but was interrupted by the shrill noise of Regulus' mobile from the windowsill. He frowned at Remus for a brief, confusing moment, before snatching his phone from the sill and swiping to answer it.
"Hello?"
Remus strained his ears and heard a tinny, high voice trill from the phone. He watched as Regulus' shoulders hunched to his ears and his spine stiffened. He felt dread pool in his stomach.
"I see. When is it?"
More tinny speech.
"Ah, it must have gotten lost in the post. The pandemic messed everything up."
The lie was so quick, you'd miss it if you weren't paying attention.
"Very well. I'll see you there."
He dropped the phone to his side, ended the call and straightened up, his head angled to look out the window. Remus held his breath, unused to this statuesque version of Sirius' brother. He'd seen him haughty, nervous, and awkward but never in shock. The stunned silence was impenetrable, a heavy weight like a rock being dropped into a well. Inhaling deeply, Remus padded gently over on socked feet, catching himself before he reached out for the younger man.
"Regulus?"
Like a flash, the young man whipped around, his face devoid of emotion. He didn't blink, his eyes staring straight through Remus.
"Are you alright?"
The words took a moment or two to register. Regulus' jaw tightened a fraction. "My father's died," he murmured.
For a brief moment Remus had worried he hadn't heard right. Then it was like he'd been doused in cold water. What did he do? Regulus wasn't the touching type, but surely everyone wanted to be comforted in some way with that sort of news? His arms itched with the need to do something.
"Tell me what I can do? What you need me to do?"
Regulus gave a minute shake of his head. "I'm not sure …"
"Are you -? Can I -?" he awkwardly opened his arms in a half-hearted gesture, his face contorted in a grimace. He was completely out of his depth.
"Oh, no you don't -"
"Please." Regulus still looked uncertain. "You don't know it won't help."
With an awkward press of his lips, Regulus gave a small nod.
To say it was an unnatural hug was an understatement; Regulus was around the same height as Sirius, which meant he tucked very neatly into the long line of Remus' body. He didn't know what to do with his arms, so they were tightly folded down between their two bodies as he pressed the side of his face into Remus' collarbone. Remus rested his chin on top of the sleek black tresses that, unlike Sirius', were tame and only waved at the ends. He lopped his arms around Regulus' shoulders and kept the pressure comforting and warm, projecting as much human emotion into it as possible. It took a long while before Regulus softened in Remus' arms, relaxing into the warmth of human contact.
The air around them calmed, like a pale sunshine after a dark storm.
"Is it helping?" Remus murmured into the dark hair tickling his nose.
"Not sure," Regulus mumbled, "Might have to try it a little longer."
Remus snorted and obliged, soaking up all the pent-up, dark, turbulent thoughts radiating from his roommate. "After this I'll make you a cup of tea, okay?"
"If you like."
"And lunch?"
"Not hungry."
"You need to eat something."
"Fine. Nothing big though."
Remus tutted but didn't argue. He knew he wasn't able to stomach much after having bad news. They hugged for another few moments before Regulus seemed to grow uncomfortable and unwound himself from the embrace. Taking a step back, Remus found gentle amusement in the light pink tint to Regulus' features, his slightly mussed hair and how he couldn't hold Remus' gaze -something he was usually hauntingly good at.
"I'll make us that tea then, shall I?"
Regulus gave a stiff nod.
As Remus padded off into the kitchen and set the kettle to boil, he listened out for Regulus' gentle tread behind him. He was aware of the other man's presence but wasn't going to force him to talk about anything. He poured milk into the mugs and let them brew.
"Who's going to tell Sirius?" Regulus asked weakly.
Remus turned and saw those wide, grey eyes looking fearful at the prospect. He felt his heart chip. "If you're not up to it, I can go and see him tonight. I think it's probably best he was told in person."
"Yes, that would be better for him, I think."
Cocking his head to the side, Remus finished steeping the tea and tossed the bags into the little food bin on the counter. He crossed the room and gently handed one of the steaming mugs to Regulus. "Are you sure you're okay on your own?"
Regulus nodded, "It wasn't like he was a particularly affectionate father. If I don't show my face, though, Mother will start a manhunt for me. I'd rather she didn't know where I live."
"Sirius mentioned that she'd managed to find him."
Regulus nodded, "I'd rather she didn't know about you."
"Why -why me?"
Regulus looked up with wide eyes, as though he hadn't meant to say those words out loud. "I just mean, she always managed to ruin whatever she turned her hand to. You're the best thing in Sirius' life, since he made friends with James. I – I don't want her to ruin you for him."
Remus chuckled, "It'll take a lot more than your harpy of a mam to threaten me away, Reg."
"Remus, I mean it. She won't stop until every ounce of happiness if crushed from him -and eventually me." He pressed his lips together, "That means she'll seek to destroy you."
Perhaps it was the words he'd feared for so long, or perhaps it was having lived at absolute rock bottom in squalor that gave Remus pause. He dug deep inside himself and realised that everything he had gained during this global crisis -friends, a possible diploma, a boyfriend -all of it was worth protecting. All of it was worth any and every conceivable risk. Even facing down a daemon like the formidable Mrs. Black.
"She can try, but I'm not easily cowed."
"Remus, she isn't your typical angry Karen! She could ruin your life like that!" he snapped his fingers, agitated by Remus' flippancy.
Setting his mug down, Remus took Regulus by the shoulders and crouched down so that they were eye-to-eye. "Let her try. You're safe here. I'm not about to let anything happen to Sirius or you, understand?"
Regulus pursed his lips together.
"Understand?"
With a scoff and a tut, Regulus shook his head in a resigned manner, averting his gaze. Remus took it as a ceasefire if not an outright win and went back to his mug. He took a sip, grateful that it was the perfect temperature to gulp it down. Once finished, he set the mug on the counter and went about pulling cold cuts from the fridge to assemble two sandwiches.
.
Within an hour the atmosphere had settled down enough for the pair to settle on the sofa in front of the TV. They ate their sandwiches in silence and when the silence got a little too much, Remus put on NETFLIX. They watched a few episodes of The Big Bang Theory, as amusing pastime as Regulus pointed out minute inaccuracies.
They kept a comfortable distance between themselves on the sofa. Remus felt as though he'd already exhausted the young man's capacity for physical proximity.
"When do you think you'll go and speak to Sirius?" Regulus asked, his eyes fixed on the TV.
"I -uh -I'm not sure. It's only gone four, he won't have been home long after cleaning up."
"Better now than later. You don't want to rush home for curfew again."
"I suppose you're right," he sighed, running a hand down his face. "Ugh, better get my shoes on then."
Regulus didn't respond as Remus extracted himself from the sofa and shuffled down the hall to his room. He grabbed a light hoodie for later, stuffed his wallet, keys, anti-bac gel and phone into his pockets before snagging a clean mask. He went out to the hallway cupboard and stuffed his feet into his worn-out converses. Strapping the mask around his ears, he paused at the front door.
"I'll be back soon!" he called.
He didn't get a reply.
With a sigh, he went out into the hallway and closed the front door behind him, feeling trepidation at leaving Regulus alone. It was detrimental now, that Sirius knew before anyone else managed to tell him. He deserved to hear it from someone compassionate, not in the manner Regulus was told. He could only hope he was able to provide some comfort to his boyfriend when he saw him.
.
~0~
.
Deep cleaning the café was not fun. Stinking of bleach, disinfectant and aerosol was not fun. Choking on all the combined fumes was most decidedly not fun at all.
They'd only gotten home around 4PM and Arthur was practically squirming with the need for a piddle break. Sirius quickly let him out for a quick run on the roof garden but would definitely need to take him out for a proper walk.
Dumping all their belongings onto the counter, James and Sirius sighed heavily, their entire bodies sagging under the weight of going back to work and the added challenge of scrubbing everything down and renewing their PPE every hour. It was awful. James scrubbed a hand through his hair and clapped Sirius on the shoulder before tugging his grimy t-shirt over his head on his way to the bathroom. Sweating and cleaning until their knuckles cracked was not the stuff dreams were made of.
The sound of the shower running propelled Sirius into moving.
After barking orders back and forth, and making sure everyone was distanced appropriately, Sirius' throat felt a little worse for wear. He stripped out of his clothes and tossed them into the washing machine, leaving the door ajar for James to do the same after his shower. He heard the faint bark of Arthur, no doubt chasing pigeons up on the roof. He gave a wistful smile before sauntering to his room to dig out fresh clothes.
Once James was done, coming out with a towel slung around his waist, glasses fogged up and cheeks pink with the heat of the water, they traded places and Sirius padded into the bathroom. He showered quickly, twisting his wet hair into a knot at the back of his head. Wrapping a towel around his waist, he went back to the kitchen and slung his underwear into the washing machine and set it on a cycle. Their water bill was going to skyrocket if this was to be their routine for the next couple of months.
He changed into a loose, soft t-shirt and linen shorts before slipping into his sliders and going to bring Arthur back inside. He opted not to sit down in case he might not be able to get back up. Arthur happily sat down at his feet, tongue out and tail wagging as Sirius scratched him behind the ears, crooning gently.
His phone buzzed.
.
Moony (16:37):
Hey, I was wondering if you were about?
Fancy going for a walk?
.
Moony (16:38):
I'm outside your place x
.
Padfoot (16:41):
Hey, I'm all fresh and clean!
Why are you outside my place?
.
Moony (16:42):
Just needed to get out.
I had something I wanted to talk to you about and I'd rather do it face-to-face.
.
Padfoot (16:45):
Okay, I'll be right down.
You don't mind Arthur coming along too, do you?
He's getting rather angsty being indoors all day x
.
Moony (16:46):
Sure thing, I miss my son x
And his dad, too, I suppose :P xx
.
Sirius grinned to himself before sliding his phone into his pocket and heading towards the door to grab Arthur's lead. At the click of the metal clasp, the black dog jumped to his feet, trotting over excitedly and letting out a soft 'whoof' of anticipation. Sirius ruffled his dark fur and clipped the lead onto his collar and made a grab for his keys and a clean mask.
"Oi Prongs?!"
"What?" came the cry from the bedroom.
"I'm going out for a walk with Moony and Arthur!"
"Okay! Make sure you use protection!"
"Har, har, very funny! Arse!"
"I thought so!"
Sirius tutted with an affectionate roll of his eyes, before heading out the front door, Arthur in tow. Stepping back out into direct sunlight immediately zapped what little energy he'd regained from his shower and momentary rest from strenuous activity. Strapping a mask on, he wound Arthur's lead around one hand and used the other to shield his eyes as he scanned the street left and right for any sign of his boyfriend. Despite the streets being mostly empty, it took a moment for Sirius to pinpoint the tall, lanky man sequestered on a garden wall, shaded by a large bush, his pale knees glowing white in the dappled sunlight that fell across them. Grinning, Sirius sauntered over, Arthur trotting along happily at his side.
"Well, hello sexy!" he called.
Remus started a little, his eyes crinkling behind his sunglasses and mask as he stood to his full height. "Hello, cariad."
Sirius ducked his head, feeling his cheeks blush a little. "Must you tease me where I can't ravish you?"
Remus chuckled lightly.
They fell into step with one another, walking in the sunlight on either side of the pavement, Arthur weaving between them both effectively forcing an on-coming foot traffic into the road. Even though they didn't always need to fill the silences between them, Sirius could tell by the slight hunch in Remus' posture, that there was something heavy weighing on his mind.
"So, what did you want to speak to me about that you couldn't say it over the phone?" Sirius asked, keeping his tone light.
Remus scuffed his shoes as he walked. "I -uh -I don't really know how to -okay. Your mam called."
Sirius spun to a stop. He found himself reaching for Remus before he could stop himself, "That bitch found you? How? What did she say? She better not have threatened you, Remus, or I swear to God I will end her!"
"No, no, listen! She called Regulus -at least I think it was her. It could have been someone else. It was definitely a woman on the phone," Remus raked a hand through his tumbling curls, his brows drawn together. "They've not found out where Reg is, yet. But -see -the thing is -ah, shit!"
"Moons, what is it? What's wrong?" Sirius tried to keep his voice level, but it broke as he watched the man struggle and choke on his words. He stroked his hands down where he'd unknowingly clutched at Remus' t-shirt. "Babe?"
Warm, amber eyes locked onto his own. "Cariad … your dad died this afternoon."
The world stopped.
His senses were muted.
He felt the burn of bile at the back of his throat.
A numbness started to creep up on him and he was sure that he would have keeled over if Remus' strong, large hands grabbed onto his own and pulled him close, his arms folded between their chests. He felt his head being gently turned to the side so that it rested on Remus' shoulder, the gentle drum of his heartbeat the only thing to tap through the fog. A shiver ran through his belly as Arthur whimpered and snuffled at his shins, his cold wet nose making him flinch. Remus gently rested his arms around Sirius' shoulders, tucking the man under his chin, and letting the pressure be gentle and comfortable so he wouldn't feel claustrophobic.
His dad was dead.
Despite defying the doctor's orders that he'd be dead within the month, Orion Black had finally kicked the bucket and yet, the world continued on as seamlessly as before. The sun didn't turn black, birds didn't drop out of the sky, and Sirius didn't feel liberated in any way. Perhaps that was because his mother was still alive. That was a problem for another day.
"Tell me what to do," Remus' disembodied voice sounded from somewhere over his head. "Do you want to come back with me?"
"Can't leave James …"
"Wouldn't you rather be with your brother?"
"I guess …"
"Let's get you back to James. You should let him know."
Sirius reanimated and wound his arms around Remus' chest and held him tight. "No! Don't want you to go! Not yet."
Rubbing at his back, Remus said, "I know, cariad, I know. Do you want to bring James to ours?"
"Can't. Bubbles."
"Babe, I know, but this is an extenuating circumstance. Hell, I'll stay in the other room so you three can talk it out."
"I want you to be involved, too."
Remus sighed, bowing his head to rest on Sirius' shoulder. "Come on, let's grab James and go back to ours and talk things out. You need to talk to Regulus as well."
"Why do you always have to be right?"
Dropping a kiss to Sirius' forehead, Remus untangled their bodies and laced their free hands together. Arthur whined, looking between them, his tail wagging nervously. Remus crouched down and scratched the dog around the scruff and ears, earning him many licks. As they slowly made their way back to the flat across from the café, Sirius could feel Remus shooting him concerned looks. He felt hollow and sick to his stomach, his skin cold despite the glaring sunshine.
'Orion would have hated sunshine at his funeral,' Sirius thought spitefully.
They made it back to his and James' flat in no time. He barely even flinched when Remus dipped his hand into his back pocket and fished out his keys. They mounted the steps, Arthur bounding up ahead of them and instantly pawing at the door. It swung inwards before they reached it, James poking his head out with raised eyebrows.
"You're back already?" he asked, bending down to ruffle Arthur.
"Uh yeah," Sirius averted his gaze.
"Hey James, would you be okay coming over to mine? Sirius got some news and I think we all need to be together for this," Remus stated, taking charge, his large hand resting in the small of Sirius' back, keeping him upright.
"What's happened?"
Sirius clenched his jaw. "Orion died today."
James' jaw dropped. "Shit, mate, I'm so sorry."
He crossed the space between them, immediately wrapping Sirius in a hug. The rush of his bodywash assaulted Sirius' senses and he almost burst into tears there and then. He sank into the hug, burying his face into James' neck, nails digging through his shirt. Remus crowded up behind him, his firm hands squeezing at the nape of his neck. He felt surrounded and secure and like he wanted to throw up. His body shook although no sobs came out. A shiver ran through him, his skin breaking out in goosepimples.
"Do you guys want to come in?"
"Nah, best be getting back to Reg," Remus said.
"Right, right. Fuck, okay, let me grab my jacket for later."
James ducked down the hallway. The banging of a door opening and closing echoed down to them, before he reappeared with a mask slung around his face and a thin jacket draped over his arm.
"Right, let's go."
.
Regulus answered the door with a pallid face and red-rimmed eyes. He looked a little frayed at the edges, the most unkempt Sirius had seen him. He backed away from the door, huddling in on himself and motioned for them to go to the bathroom. They each took turns washing their hands, toed off their shoes, before following the hallway down to the living area. The four of them tentatively sat down on the overly plush sofas and armchairs situated in the room. That had been the one thing Remus had asked Regulus for; squishy chairs to relax in.
Sirius looked small as he sank down on the sofa between his birth brother and adopted one. Lined in a row like that, they looked reasonably similar. The air in the room was thick with tension. What was there really to discuss? Sirius wouldn't attend the funeral; Regulus would be obligated to do so, even if he was being dragged there by his mother. Sirius itched to do something, the adrenaline making his insides shiver. Regulus sat stiff beside him, their knees nudging gently. His eyes looked glassy as he stared off into the middle distance, the weight of the reality pressing him down into the sofa. He wished there was something he could do for his younger brother, but his mind was coming up blank. Regulus was not always receptive to hugs or physical affection, and at the moment he seemed to be carved from stone.
"Reg?" he breathed.
Grey eyes flickered up to him.
Sirius felt his mouth work uselessly. What could he say? He'd hated their father. He had no plans to ever reconcile with his family and knew he couldn't -wouldn't -be allowed to attend the funeral. The only thing the death of the man meant, was that his mother now had all the power as head of the family. The memories were haunting enough.
Memories that he shared with Regulus.
All of a sudden it was like they were those two, scared little boys cowered under the dining room table and praying the lace tablecloth would shield them from prying eyes. They'd been terrified of getting caught, the fancy chocolates Sirius had stolen from the table clustered between them, smears over their faces. He'd gotten the scolding of his life and six lashes of the belt for that one. Regulus had been too young to beat. Sirius had taken the blame, making a distraction for Regulus to crawl out of the room and run to their bedroom to hide.
He was traumatised for life, but he would do it all again.
He would do anything to protect his baby brother.
The weight of Regulus' head resting on his shoulder made him stiffen before he tipped his head to rest on top. Beside him, James squeezed close and looped his arm as far around them both as possible. Remus was the only one not squashing onto the sofa and it left Sirius feeling a little aching at the loss.
He felt a tear drop on his bare arm. Looking down, he saw a single tear track shining on his brother's pale face.
"Reg?"
"I know he was a shit father," Regulus swallowed thickly. "I know he was worse to you than to me, but -it feels weird that he's gone. He seemed so immovable."
"It's hard losing a parent," Remus kept his voice low. "Even if you don't care for them, the loss is substantial. It shakes the foundations of your life, knowing that constants are not permanent."
Three pairs of eyes stared at him, but Remus didn't seem phased.
Regulus let out a shaky breath, "It's weird -I'm not sure how to feel. I feel angry but … sad and relieved as well. Does that make me a bad person?"
"No, mate, it makes you human," James placated.
Regulus scoffed, earning a weak smile from Sirius.
"Sorry, Reggie, you're human just like the rest of us."
"Agree to disagree."
Sirius looked down at his hands, noting that there was still a small distance between their bodies. Hugging Remus and James had felt so natural in the moment, yet with his brother, they'd been taught not to show affection to one another.
"Have you heard anything since …?" he let the question hang in the air between them.
Regulus shook his head. "Nothing. All I know is that he died this afternoon with only mother beside him, and that the funeral will be within two weeks. I'm sure there will be a notice in the newsreels come tomorrow."
There was a moment of tense, loaded silence.
"Shall I make us all some tea?" Remus asked.
A murmured agreement from the other three filled the air. He got up, his knees creaking, and padded over to the adjoining kitchen and set about boiling the kettle and prepping the mugs. He returned shortly after, wondering if they were just going to sit in silence for the rest of the afternoon. Arthur gave a soft huff and then laid down on the plush rug in the middle of the lounge.
"I know this has come as a shock, but what do you think is going to happen after the funeral?" James asked, keeping his voice low. He took a loud sip of his tea.
Regulus' shoulders slumped. "All I know is that everything gets signed over in Mother's name until she died, and then everything will be signed over to me."
Sirius shot Remus a pinched look.
"I don't really want to go."
He's eyebrows shot up as he turned back to his brother. "You don't?"
The young man shook his head, "Of course not. It'll be a charade. Mother will parade me around as the obedient son. I'll have to mingle with all our cousins and aunts and uncles. I'd rather take a driving test blindfolded."
Sirius squeezed his wrist in consolation. "I wish I could go, if only to support you."
"The minute she lays her eyes on you, you're doomed."
They bent their heads close, Sirius dimly aware that they were leaving James and Remus a little ostracized on the other side of the room. Drawing in a deep breath, he reached for his mug and took a sip, winking at Remus over the rim as he did so. He felt himself light up when the curly-haired man smiled warmly.
The settled into a contemplative silence for a little while, sipping their cooling tea. It was a little while later when Regulus emitted an exhausted groan and dropped forward with his head in his hands. He dug his heels into his eyes and exhaled deeply.
"I think I need to go and have a lie down," he muttered.
"Do you want me to come with you?" Sirius offered.
"No, no, I'll be fine. I just want to lie perfectly still in the quiet for a bit. A nap wouldn't hurt either."
The three men watched Regulus slowly drift down the hallway towards his bedroom. Sirius turned his pained expression to James and Remus. "What do I do? I can't just leave him alone, can I?"
"He's not going anywhere," Remus kept his voice low. "Just give him some time to process things."
Sirius looked as though he wanted to say something else, but James nudged him and shook his head. With a disgruntled huff, Sirius slumped back onto the sofa, his expression clouded over. James gave his shoulder a squeeze.
"Do you want me to call mum and dad?" he asked, leaning into Sirius.
"Suppose someone has to."
"I'll stay if you want me to."
"You'll be gone for five minutes, I'm not about to break, Prongs."
Suitably chided, James stood from the sofa, exchanged a troubled look with Remus before padding out towards the balcony and stepping outside. Once the door clicked shut, Remus moved over to sit on the other side of his boyfriend. They looked at one another, the sheen of tears was clear in Sirius' eyes. Remus opened his arms and Sirius collapsed sideways into them, crowding against Remus and burrowing into his chest. No words were needed, the simple act of Remus stroking his hair soothed him into a shattered heap. The soft creak of the balcony door alerted them to James' return, but neither of them moved. James stopped in the doorway and took their position in. He wasted no time in climbing onto the sofa on Sirius' other side, looping his arms around Sirius from behind and rested his head against the man's shoulder. Once in a while one of them would shift into a comfortable position, but no one was ready to break the safe little cocoon they'd created.
At some point Sirius dozed off cradled between his adopted brother and best friend, but it didn't quieten the turmoil crackling away inside his head.
.
~0~
.
At some point during the evening, Regulus had padded back out looking dishevelled and pale. Together, James and Remus had kept as much distance between them as they cooked a simple meal for everyone. The Black brothers were sequestered on the sofa, staring off into the distance, only humming noncommittal sounds whenever a question was thrown their way. Food seemed to perk them up a little and the atmosphere relaxed as James dug out Remus' secret little stash of magnums at the back of the freezer. They ate the ice creams out on the balcony, Remus and Sirius sharing a cigarette. Regulus sneered his distaste and James had swatted them both across the head with a tea-towel, demanding they give the habit up immediately!
When it got late enough Regulus declared that he was going to sleep. As he walked off, James gave Sirius a nudge towards the hall. "Go with him. He needs to be with his brother right now."
He didn't need telling twice.
.
They lie still and quiet in the darkness, Regulus' bed just big enough for them to be comfortable. Sirius was lying on his back, one arm tucked behind his head. A part of him asked to pad softly down the hallway and creep into Remus' bed, but that wasn't why he was there. He needed to be there for his brother. He could come by and spend the night with Remus some other time, hopefully when the last of the restrictions fell away.
"Sirius?"
"Yes, Reg?"
"How did it feel, telling father that you hated him?"
Sirius frowned, shifting his head to stare at the dark outline his brother made up. "What do you mean?"
"That night you left, I heard you yelling from upstairs. You told mother and father that you hated them," he paused, inhaling shakily. "Did it make you feel better?"
He thought about it for a moment, replaying that night in his mind. "No, it didn't. I was so desperate to get him to know how much I hated him. It was only later that I realised he just … didn't care."
Regulus kept quiet.
"He didn't care at all. He didn't care whether I stayed or left, lived or died, he did not care that I was his flesh and blood," he let out a shaky breath, his voice latching in his throat. He clenched the duvet between his fists, knuckles aching. "That's when I realised, I'd wanted him to care, simply so I could hurt him as much as he'd hurt me. The reality that he would never feel that pain broke something in me …"
Regulus shifted, the rustling of the covers loud in the silence. His hand sought Sirius' through the dark, wrapping his long fingers around his palm.
"I never meant to leave you behind," he croaked. "I just wanted to get out, I didn't think about anything else. I needed to cut the ties."
"You came back. You've always come back for me. I don't blame you for why you had to do it, not anymore."
"You should. What I did was unforgivable."
Regulus sighed through his nose. "I do forgive you."
"Don't."
"Tough. You're forgiven. Deal with it."
Sirius emitted a strangled noise, a cross between a sob and a chuckle. The bed creaked a little as Regulus shifted, his chest pressed against Sirius' arm, the sudden warmth making him shiver. A tear slid down into his hairline and he tried to breathe deeply, to dispel the urge to sob. It was weirdly comforting to have his brother so close again after so long.
"Your boyfriend hugged me today," Regulus murmured.
Sirius surprised himself by snorting a wet laugh. "And you didn't combust? I'm shocked."
"He's so tall."
"Yeah, he's part giant."
"I think he's really good for you. I'm glad you found someone to love you."
"You'll find someone too, Reg."
"Of course, I will!" he scoffed, "Out of the two of us, I'm clearly the more tolerable brother."
Sirius rolled his eyes.
"You deserve happiness even if you're not used to it."
"Alright, you need to spend less time on the internet."
"That was me, you buggering ignoramus!"
"Reggie, language!"
Sirius let out a muffled laugh as the pillow was whipped out from under his head as Regulus playfully tried to smother him.
.
"Are you sure you don't want my bed?" Remus asked, fidgeting nervously.
James raked a hand through his already tangled hair and smiled sleepily up at Remus. "Honestly this sofa is so luxe, I might just have to move in," he said. "Besides, you need to keep your bedroom a people-free zone for as long as possible."
"One night and then changing the sheets isn't that taxing, y'know?"
James shook his head, "Paddy would kill me if I somehow screwed you over, mate. Besides, you've done more than enough. I just hope he's okay."
Remus continued to fidget, feeling antsy and not at all tired. "I feel like I need to do something for him, but I don't know what."
"I mean, if you're not tired, we could watch a movie on Netflix?"
"Really?" Remus cocked an eyebrow. "You look half-dead."
"I don't mind staying up. I might be tired, but I doubt I'll actually sleep."
Remus chewed his lip, "I guess if you're sure. You can choose, though. I'll grab some drinks."
"I'll just have a can from the fridge. No point wasting a glass."
When Remus returned with a can of fizz each, he popped the tabs and handed one to James. He settled down in his own armchair with a throw blanket over his lap. James had made himself at home along the length of the sofa, propped up on borrowed billows with a spare blanket over him. Arthur had hopped up and snuggled up with his head resting across James' knees.
On the TV a docuseries was queued up, ready to play.
By the end of the first episode, James was chuckling to himself whenever Remus mentioned an anecdote of when he'd needed to research something for his dissertation and gotten sucked into the wormhole of inaccurate articles online, which had wasted months of his life. He then started to comment on how, while the narrative of the current episode wasn't wrong, it was also taken completely out of context. James humoured him, enjoying the more exuberant side of Remus' quirkiness. He hoped they could get to know one another in a more social setting. Heck, Regulus was comfortable being around him! That alone was a great character-reference.
It was nearing midnight by the time Remus finally felt his eyelids grow heavy. James was barely keeping his head upright, so he decided to take his leave. He turned off all the lights, made sure all the windows and doors were locked and bolted and bade James goodnight.
He settled down into bed and plugged his phone on to charge, opting not even to attempt reading. Lying down on the bed, sinking into the plushness, he let his mind drifted. At some point, he was dimly aware of the bedroom door opening. For a moment he thought it was Sirius sneaking in for a late-night cuddling session.
"Oof!" he grunted as Arthur jumped up onto the bed, tail wagging and sniffing around for the best place to settle. "Hey boy, what're you doing?"
He ruffled the dog's fur before lazily sinking back down. He dimly acknowledged the dog stretching along the length of his bed, his snout resting against Remus' stomach. He threaded his fingers through the dark fur, wishing briefly that it was Sirius' hair instead. He drifted off to sleep, dreaming of dogs of all shapes and sizes chasing an ice cream van up the side of a pyramid.
A/N: I hope you like this regardless x