5 Things Dazai Still Does For Port Mafia ...
Summary: ... that he doesn't do for the Armed Detective Agency, and the 1 thing he won't do for anyone.
5. Going To The Hospital
In the two years he'd known Dazai, Kunikida had learned many things about his partner. Most of them were annoying traits or frightfully useful skills, but two things Kunikida had been sure were law of nature in all that time was that: A) Dazai very, very rarely showed any genuine emotions or reactions and B) there are very few things in this world that would make Dazai break into a sprint with any actual effort put behind it.
The man was quick and spry, more so than anyone would give him credit for. But he had a long stride and a surprising amount of stamina that he hid and was very adept at dodging things on the move including, interestingly enough, a hail of bullets. After he learned a bit about the man's past, these two absolutes, among other strange traits, made sense. Kyouka, after being in the Port Mafia for only six months, had practically been an emotionally constipated doll for weeks on end after they saved her and offered her a place in the Agency and Dazai has yet to tell them how long he had been there, though they all know it was considerably longer than their newest member. Showing emotion in a dark, ruthless place like that must have been like asking someone to stab you in the back. And Dazai's proficiency for various unconventional skills also finally made sense; Kunikida still, to this day, has no idea how the man can pick just about any lock with only a small string of wire.
Still, to see both these 'absolutes' shatter absolutely right in front of his eyes was an eye-opening experience and really made Kunikida wonder just how much he knew about his partner.
It had been a joint mission between the Agency and the Mafia. The President and the Boss had both received news that someone seems to have hired(?) Guild's former member Lovecraft and that he was using his Ability(?) to terrorize certain parts of Yokohama too close to both the Agency's and the Mafia's territory, so both leaders decided they should send out a couple of men to investigate and deal with it. Mori had insisted Dazai and Nakahara should go and in turn Dazai, through the president, had insisted Akutagawa should join as well.
As one could imagine with such a crew, the mission started off more chaotic than the Agency could hope to get in a year, between Atsushi and Akutagawa arguing with death threats and challenges and Dazai and Nakahara bickering with a familiarity that honestly kind of scared Kunikida and even made him just a tiny bit envious. Also curious, because Nakahara seemed to be more or less anticipating any word or move coming from Dazai while the brunet seemed to be able to read and predict any action Nakahara might even think of making. When, eventually, they got to the serious part of the mission, the air between those two completely changed, dragging Akutagawa with them, thus also making Atsushi focus on what they were here to do instead of whatever rivalry he had with Port Mafia's Rabid Dog.
Their communication was nonverbal and relied mostly on exchanged glances, or not even that, to the point that the other three were more than a little clueless about the 'conversations' and planning happening. Akutagawa seemed the only one ready to go along with this with next to no surprise on his face while Kunikida and Atsushi tried to figure out how they were meant to work with these people like this.
Eventually, they ran into some grunts from the group that had hired Lovecraft. Intel suggested they were all non-Ability users, therefore not too great of a threat. Nakahara all but bulldozed through them with Dazai casually walking along behind him, which prompted the others to do the same. When they finally found their target, they found Lovecraft in his monstrous state surrounded by more grunts, some higher ranking members and what looked like some sort of cultist priests? The cultists were doing some strange ritual around the base of the monster while the others engaged the five men in a fight.
"You guys take the scrubs," Nakahara had all but ordered them. "Leave the tentacles monstrosity to me and shitty Dazai." And given that they had apparently fought the thing before and won, no one could argue against them.
Everything was going more or less smoothly before the aura around the beast suddenly changed and moments later, Dazai called out to them to fall back. Akutagawa seemed to think they were too slow to follow the order because he picked them up with Rashoumon and carried them to relative safety.
Then, suddenly, it felt like gravity itself was pressing down on them, even when they were almost far enough away that the bone-chilling cackling and battle cries were faint. But the explosions and the crumbling of earth weren't. The cries of anguish and pain and death were still more than loud enough. The dying screech of the monster and the triumphant laugh that followed weren't. The detonation of flesh and bone weren't.
Dazai's desperate "CHUUYA!" wasn't.
By the time gravity returned to normal and Akutagawa actually let go of them, the world was eerily silent. Atsushi and Kunikida ran back towards the huge crater that was all that was left of Lovecraft, only to have Dazai literally bolt past them, a bloody and unconscious Nakahara in his arms. Kunikida had never seen Dazai haul ass that quickly in all his time knowing the man. He was using the full length of his legs, his lethal grace and almost abnormal night vision to avoid any and all obstacles, never pausing his stride, never faltering in his sprint, to the point Atsushi had to use his weretiger powers in order to keep up. Akutagawa had apparently anticipated the mad dash because he was using Rashoumon for easier movement and was right behind them.
"Get in the fucking car and drive to the nearest hospital," ordered Dazai the second Kunikida finally caught up to them, for once the slowest member on a mission. Dazai was already in the back seat, Akutgawa beside him, with Nakahara in the detective's lap, leaving the two Agency members to take the front seats. Kunikida didn't snap at Dazai for his crude language nor did he try to demand answers.
That Dazai's gaze spelled out murder if his orders weren't complied with and that he was willingly going anywhere even near a hospital had Kunikida on edge and obeying because he had a feeling Dazai might just show him what he had learned in the Mafia if he tried to defy him right now in any way. So he just got behind the wheel and floored it.
They were in a hospital maybe fifteen minutes later.
Dazai ran in with Nakahara in his arms, yelling for a specific doctor by name. The woman arrived within ten seconds with a bunch of nurses and another assistant doctor, a gurney already waiting for Nakahara to be placed on. Dazai far too gently placed the ginger mafioso on the gurney but didn't just stand aside and let the medical staff leave; instead, he went with them.
Kunikida would only later catch a glimpse of a bloody hand stubbornly holding on for dear life to his partner's coat, all but dragging Dazai Osamu after the unconscious Nakahara Chuuya.
An hour later, the same doctor returned to give a status report to Akutagawa, suspiciously eyeing the Agency members as though they were the criminals here and not the literal mass murderer they arrived with.
"He's stable now; there was no significant damage to his organs this time, as Dazai-sama seems to have arrived fast enough before he reached that stage. He does, however, have a nasty head wound, so he'll need to be monitored for the night and tomorrow after we release him. Dazai-sama has already reassured me he plans to stay with Nakahara-sama until he is in the clear. If any of you need treatment," she said with, once again, a suspicious glance at the detectives. "Then come along, then you can check on your superiors."
Akutagawa didn't let them correct her on that and instead dragged Atsushi to get some of his slow-healing wounds checked out, saying something like 'Dazai-san will be disappointed in me if I'm not a proper partner' and thus Kunikida had to check a gunshot graze, too. After that, they were told where Nakahara was situated and they followed Akutagawa to the assigned room.
When they arrived, that's when they saw Nakahara all but still clinging onto Dazai, but he was cleaned up and the few scratches he had were treated, including the headwound the doctor had mentioned. Dazai had a few more bandages on him, the one over his right eye giving everyone pause, especially Akutagawa who looked like he'd seen a ghost. But the smile and the 'You did good, Akutagawa-kun, Atsushi-kun,' seemed to relax him again until he actually got flustered under the praise.
"You guys can go home now. I'll stay with the hatrack and take him home tomorrow. Akutagawa-kun, if you wouldn't mind reporting to Mori-san that his Executive will be on bed rest for the next two days, that'd be great."
"Of course, Dazai-san. I'll let the Boss know Chuuya-san needs time to recover but that the mission was successful. Should we be expecting a thorough report on what was behind this incident?"
"Nope~! Unless Chuuya writes it, of course~!"
"Of course," the young man promptly replied. "I will take my leave now, Dazai-san. I wish you a restful night."
"You too, Ryuu-kun. Be sure to say hi to Gin-chan for me!" With that, the black haired young man left, leaving the detectives in an awkward silence as Dazai seemed to entirely focus on the sleeping redhead.
A long while later, the brunet finally spoke. "What you bore witness to tonight," he said as he looked up at them with dead, dangerous eyes that had them flinching back from Dazai as though they had been physically struck. "Is not to appear in a single report or conversation once you leave this room. Should I hear even a hint of a whisper, a rumor, let alone an official report, the Rat, the Mafia, the Guild, anything and everything in between ... That will be the least of your worries."
It was such a contrast, to how Dazai usually was and to how tenderly he brushed Nakahara's hair out of his face, that the change was almost frightening. Kunikida felt that they've stepped on a landmine of sorts, or were close to it, that they were seconds away from crossing a red line, of stepping into territory from which there was no return and from which they could only receive mercy at Dazai's whims. It was in rare moments like these that Kunikida can actually see Dazai belonging to the Port Mafia and some of its members' obsession with having him go back.
For once, this was a piece of information Kunikida will not mention in a report, nor will he write it down into his own personal notebook. Dazai had incredibly agile fingers, for both breaking into things - such as his apartment - to robbing people blind and Kunikida would rather not think about what would happen should Dazai see this 'secret', whatever it actually was, written down so plainly somewhere anyone even half as crafty as Dazai could read.
"We promise, Dazai-san," reassured Atsushi, for which Kunikida was grateful, as he couldn't find his voice and could only nod. Dazai studied them for a second longer with that strange, terrifying look before light once again reflected in his eyes and he smiled his usual sunny grin like nothing at all had happened.
"That's great, Atsushi-kun. Now, I guess you two should probably go home, as it's really late and you have to go in for work tomorrow-"
"Wait, Dazai-san, what about you?" The teen asked, brows furrowed.
"Well, I have to be a responsible owner and stay until my dog wakes up so he doesn't panic at being in an unfamiliar place all alone, especially as he hates going to his vet but I'm a good master and so I took him to a doctor instead," came the usual nonsense spewing from Dazai's mouth and Kunikida wondered how Nakahara could handle Dazai for three, four years that they've been partners before Dazai defected from the Mafia. The man must be a saint, an angel, no, a god. Kunikida resolved to treat him to a drink or two.
But that's for after Nakahara recovers from whatever injuries landed him in need of medical attention in the first place.
For now, Kunikida had something else to focus on. "You'll actually stay in a hospital?" He asked, incredulous, staring at the brunet as though he'd grown two additional heads, thus becoming tenfold more annoying.
Because, you see, even if the man was literally dying two seconds ago, he'll refuse going to a hospital as long as he's conscious enough to make the argument. Dazai, for someone who hated pain, had a very high pain tolerance and no amount of drugs or blood loss actually affected how sharp his mind was. Even during the hallucinogenic mushrooms incident, when Dazai became utterly detached from reality - supposedly - he'd still been on high alert of his surroundings.
Dazai did not trust doctors, clinics or hospitals. Yosano theorized it was because of whatever relationship or interactions he'd had with the Port Mafia Boss, who'd once been a doctor and had a habit of picking up gifted or Gifted kids he thought might be useful to him. Kunikida suspected that Mori, as horrible as he was, probably wasn't the root cause for this, but Dazai never confirmed nor denied it. He just refused to stay in a hospital, let alone be treated. If he was unconscious, his reaction upon waking up was apparently very scary as nurses always complained and refused to go back into his room. He had a tendency to wake up during treatments or surgeries, too, as he, apparently, had an incredible drug tolerance and his body burned through them and flushed them out faster than was considered normal. If he wakes up before treatment, he'd do it himself and no doctor could ever fault him for his stitches or bandaging so they just gave him painkillers he never used and let him go.
Point was, Dazai would escape through a hospital room window, through ventilation shafts or any other unconventional method he could find if someone tries to keep him there, rather than stay in a hospital for longer than five minutes. Even when he has to take someone else into the hospital, rarely ever would he go beyond the reception area. Kunikida had been shot once and Dazai had somehow hauled him to a hospital; he'd handed him off to the nurse staff and proceeded not to show his face until Kunikida was discharged, only to learn Dazai had been more or less waiting for him in the car in front of the hospital the entire time while other Agency members visited him in his assigned room.
Dazai didn't even step into Yosano's infirmary back at the Agency if he could help it and he never stayed in there for longer than a couple of minutes.
That he'd voluntarily stay the night was unthinkable.
And Nakahara didn't even look that bad off once the blood was cleaned. He looked more exhausted than anything, even with the head wound.
Needless to say, Kunikida was beyond confused right now but he could tell that Dazai wouldn't be up for discussing this further, not now or ever. Kunikida guessed this was part of his old partnership with Nakahara that, somehow, ran deeper than anything he and Kunikida had managed to build in their two years as partners. Kunikida had initially thought that Dazai treated them pretty much the same but he could see how wrong that assumption was. There was more to this partnership than comradery or friendship but he wasn't sure there was an adequate enough word in any language to truly explain it.
So all he could do was accept it and leave with Atsushi. He was even kind enough to do most of Dazai's paperwork, despite now knowing that the man was apparently some sort of paperwork deity when he bothered to do it.
Dazai came back to work only after Nakahara's allotted rest time was up.
No one mentioned what had gone down that night, or in the hospital.
It just seemed to be one of those things Dazai would do for the Mafia.
The detectives just had to get used to it.