Heyo! Talia is back and better than ever! back with a little bit of awesomeness I like to call Chapter 4- Despair. Thanks to all my lovely followers and reviewers, and everyone who nags me to update. It's actually quite nice, and motivational for some reason.

Anywho, For your amusement and mine, choose a guy from FT (btw, this is for the ladies) and imagine they took you on a walk in the park, and you come across a fountain. around the fountain are your friends and family. Your guy walks up to the fountain, and one of his buddies hands him a guitar. He then proceeds to play and sing your favorite love song to you, while your friemds and family all dance around to it. Yeah isn't that nice?

Disclaimer: Hiiiirrooooo Maassshhhiiiimmaaaaaaaaaaaaa... Isn't me. Sorry.

Onto the next chapter! Enjoy!

Chapter 4- Despair

"Natsu, you really should get some sleep." Mirajane said gently to the boy. Said boy was slumped over a table, blank expression on his face, eyes bloodshot, and rimmed with dark circles. He was thinner now, and his aura had a lackluster appearance to it.

He shook his head no.

"At least eat something. Please Natsu, you haven't eaten or drinken anything in the past 3 days. let alone sleep." Mira pleaded with him.

She was met with a blank stare.

Mira looked for her sister for help. Lisanna came over, and placed her hand on his shoulder. "Natsu, I know you miss her. We all do. But you need to take care of yourself." She said reassuringly. "Lucy would kill us if she saw you in this state."

At the mention of Lucy, choked and broken sobs could be heard from the boy.

"Natsu..." Lisanna gave Mira an apologetic smile, which wasn't returned. Instead, Mira nodded and stated loudly,

"Natsu Dragneel if you don't eat something, I will make Erza come over and force feed you." Erza, upon hearing her name being called, walked over and stood next to Natsu.

"Natsu, I think you better do as Mira says..." Happy said.

"JUST SHUT UP HAPPY!" Natsu yelled. Tears welled up in Happy's eyes, and he went flying to Lisanna, who comforted the exceed.

"Natsu, you heard Mirajane and Lisanna. Please, Natsu, don't do this. It's hard on us all." Erza pleaded.

Natsu looked up at Erza, and with a scratchy and thick voice said quietly "You didn't lose your best friend."

Erza looked sad. "No, Lucy was not my best friend. However, she was my friend. She always knew what to say to get me to relax, she accepted me and my past, she accepted me for who I am. And while I may not have lost my best friend, I lost someone dear to me."

Levy spoke up. "Natsu I grew up an only child. I never had a sister. Hell, many of us are only children. Lucy wasn't just my best friend, she was my sister." She started to cry, and Gajeel came over with a handkerchief and handed it to her.

Gray's voice spoke, "She was like my little sister. She made me laugh, always yelled about my clothes, but had a smile on her face, and helped me find them. She was strong and brave, and probably the best damn thing that happened to this guild. Natsu, you aren't the only one with a loss here."

A flaming fist was sent towards Gray, colliding with his face and sending him flying. Natsu was standing there, fists clenched, with an annoyed expression on his face. He turned, wobbled, and stunbled out of the guild.

"Guys come on, let's follow him."

0o0o0o0o

Erza, Gray, Mirajane, Levy, and Gajeel followed Natsu, wobbling and unsteady, clearly exhausted to Lucy's apartment. peeking through the window, they saw Natsu wandering around the flat.

0o0o0o0o

Natsu somehow wound up here, at her apartment. He sighed, taking in her scent. Instantly his nerves settled, and he began to wander around the flat.

"Lucy, I understand you're not coming home. Rationally I know this. I miss you with all my heart. And yet I keep winding back up here. I think some part of me is waiting for you to come home, even though you won't. Luce, it's funny. I'd never say these things if you were here. I guess that's the point, that I can say these things without you here."

"Anyway, Luce, I feel like a part of me is missing without you here. It's weird though. We weren't conjoined or anything, so why do I feel like a piece of me is missing? If you were here, you'd answer my questions, in that annoying know-it-all voice, and then chuckle and smile at me. Luce, I miss your smile. It always made me smile, and want to jump for joy whenever I saw it. I can't eat. Funny how you always tease me and ask if I do anything else. The Bottomless Stomach, Natsu Dragneel can't eat? Laughable. And yet food won't stay down. I also can't sleep. I keep having nightmares about it. I keep losing you, keep coming so close to saving you, and I always fail. Losing you once is hard enough, and I can't handle it again."

"I miss you. I miss you so much. Happy too, but he's been avoiding me after I lost my patience and yelled at him. If you were here, you'd make me go apologize to him. Without you here, I guess I have to figure out that stuff on my own, right?"

"Right. I haven't figured out what I'm going to do with the rest of my life, since I'd always assumed I'd be eating your food, and sleeping in your bed, and going on missions with you. It was natural, and I didn't want it to change. Never in a million years did I imagine this. Not without me going first. I had thought about that, Luce. Thought about us dying. Especially on Tenrou Island. I had decided you weren't going to die before me, because I couldn't stand not having you as my best friend."

"And look where we are. You gone, and me in your apartment, waiting for you to come home when I know that will never happen, speaking my mind."

"Luce, Mirajane said to Lisanna that grief does different things to people. She was saying how it crushed and devastated me, and how I was still wrapping my head around it. She was right. I still can't believe you're gone, Luce." Natsu went over to the bed and curled up in it, wrapping the blankets, drenched in her scent around himself. "Please don't be gone, Luce. I miss you too much." He whispered.

0o0o0o0o

Mirajane wiped the tears from her eyes. She looked over to her friends. Levy was crying, quite hard, burying her face in Gajeel's chest. Gray was distracting himself by creating Ice sculptures of Lucy. Erza was trying not to let eveyone see her cry. Happy was crying and sniffling.

Happy stood up. "Come on guys, I think we should go. It's obvious we shouldn't have heard all that."

Mira nodded. "Let's go."

AAANNNDD SCENE! I know I made Natsu devastated in the first 2 chapters, however, I wanted you guys to see how Natsu and the others are doing. Next Chapter we'll see Lucy's fate absolutely!