A/N: Disclaimer cause they are fun to write: I do not own the Dark Lord. If I did, he would probably act like this all the time and we would be fangirling buddies. So pretty much be glad I don't own him.
Took me a while to figure out how to make this chapter work. And I have to say this is a masterpiece. Not really, but I think it will make you laugh. So laugh as you read and then review!
15 reviews and I'll type up a prequel-type-story-thing about the Marauders. Put the rules you'd like me to write next in your reviews and I'll write them! Also, if you'd like me to put up another 60 or so rules, say so!
As requested by Phoenix Song: #51: I will not say the phrase, "Dude, get a life" to Lord Voldemort.
-PJatOgirl
Oh hippogriff muck. That's hexing You-Know-Who.
I'm cursed.
"Emma Rae Jones." The evil voice of He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named chilled me. He floated toward me, arms open, head cocked to one side thoughtfully. "So glad you could join us. We needed a Mudblood to complete the ceremony."
"C-ceremony?" I stuttered.
"Yes. I want cupcakes." He said. Oh-kaay?
"C-cupcakes." I agreed.
"And I want to SHAAARREEEEE!" he sqealed, spinning around.
"Sh-share."
"I'm told sharing is a most wonderful experience." He continued, throwing in a few ballerina leaps for good measure.
"E-experience."
He stopped. "You can stop copying now."
"Thanks." Weird. "So, Dark Lord-you're acting a little happy…"
He turned on me with the creepiest smile. "Harry…Harry Potter…I must kill Harry Potter…Kill Potter…"
"Dude, get a life." I said to Lord Voldemort.
"I AM AVOIWEMOAEIVNAOFGAHOIESDDDF AVADA KEDAVARA" he screamed, his wand suddenly appearing in his hand and shooting green light at me.
I woke up with a start. It wasn't real. I sighed. Hopefully in real life I'll be able to control my mouth. Promising myself I'd never say that phrase to Voldemort if I ever had the misfortune to meet him, I fell back asleep.