Okay, I finally got a new laptop and I'm in love! It's my very first laptop! Yay! Okay, here's the next chapter! Keep in mind I'm going to start college in a few weeks, I had my orientation today, and uploading chapters may be a tad bit difficult, but I will TRY!
When we returned to the base, I got out of Sunstreaker and stuck the now folded up paper in my pocket. As I walked through the main hanger, I was surprised to see a certain mech out and about.
"Barricade? What are you doing here?" I asked. He seemed to stop what he was doing, which was walking somewhere, and looked to me. Sunstreaker quickly transformed next to me and stepped forward just enough to where he was in front of me. I didn't miss the glare they were sending each other.
"Optimus let me go. Says I could help identify the recent Decepticon signal in the area." he replied.
"You'd know best to stay away from her, Con." Sunstreaker growled. I almost face-palmed. 'Here we go again.'
"I could, but knowing you, staying away could possibly do more harm to her than good." he growled back. Before I could realize what was happening, in a flash of a yellow, Sunstreaker had Barricade pinned to a wall with one arm, his blaster in the other, aimed at Barricade's head.
"Sunstreaker!" I shouted. Hearing my shout, Optimus, Ratchet, Sideswipe, and some other bots and soldiers came running out, all freezing at the sight before them.
"You wanna run that by me again, Decepti-scum?" Sunstreaker challenged. Barricade remained impassive. Inside I was freaking out! What the hell is going on?
"Sunstreaker, stand down." Optimus ordered, his voice leaving no room to argue. Still, Sunstreaker didn't move, instead, he pushed farther in Barricade, preparing to charge his cannons.
"Sunstreaker, please, stop!" I begged, pain and fear etched in my voice. This seemed to hit Sunstreaker as he lessened his hold and lowered his cannon slightly. This temporary drop in guard gave Barricade the opportunity to act. He lunged at Sunstreaker, pinning him to the ground on his stomach, with Barricade sitting on top of him.
"You fragging pathetic excuse for a Con! It's your fault Sam was taken advantage of in the first place! You weren't there to stop Sideways! And now, thanks to you, she's constantly afraid!" Sunstreaker yelled. I gasped.
Silence and stillness enveloped the hanger. Sunstreaker and Barricade stopped struggling with each other as the reality of those words struck them. I felt as though I was breaking down, shattering into a million pieces, yet I still stood, letting Sunstreaker's words replay over and over in my head.
Did he really just say that out loud? Does everyone now know how vulnerable I feel? I felt so embarrassed and ashamed. The second wave of emotions hit and I felt anger. Anger towards Sunstreaker for saying that. Anger towards myself for being so weak.
I didn't even think about anything else, I just turned around and ran as fast as I could out of the hanger, ignoring the pain in my body.
Sunstreaker watched helplessly as his charge ran away. Sideswipe started to go after her when Ratchet stopped his, saying she needed some time to cool off. Ironhide walked over and roughly pulled him off of Barricade. When Barricade was up and brushing himself off, he turned to Sunstreaker, a look of death in his optics.
"You know, it's funny how you would say that to me when you are just as guilty of leaving her. I've realized my mistakes, have you?" Barricade asked. Sunstreaker was too shocked, he didn't even say anything when Barricade turned around and left.
'He's right.' he thought. 'It was my fault she was in that situation in the first place.' Newly found guilt took the place of the recent anger and made him feel like slag. What has he done? There's no way Sam would ever talk to him after this. Thanks to one stupid outburst, he practically destroyed any bridges he has tried to patch up with her.
Ignoring Ratchet's protests and Optimus' orders, Sunstreaker transformed and sped out of the hanger to search for Sam. Ratchet was about to go after him, but Sideswipe's arm stopped him.
"He needs to make things right." he said. This was enough to stop Ratchet as they stared at the hanger entrance where Sunstreaker was already long gone.
I wasn't sure how long it's been since I ran off, but I knew I was pretty far from the base. I had slowed to a walk, panting heavily, and regretting the physical strain I've inflicted on my body. The scenes from earlier kept replaying over and over in my mind like a broken record. Finally it reached a point to where I collapsed to my knees from utter exhaustion.
"You fragging excuse for a Con!" I put my hands to my hears to try and block out his voice, sobbing and rocking back and forth.
"It's you're fault Sam was taken advantage of in the first place!"
'No, it wasn't!' I thought, frantically trying to stop the voice.
"You weren't there to stop Sideways! And now, thanks to you, she's constantly afraid!"
"No." I finally said. The voice fell to silence. "You're the reason I'm constantly afraid." The sound of an engine caused me to turn around, only to wish I hadn't.
Sunstreaker stopped a few feet away and transformed, concern and guilt was clear in his optics. I turned away and stared at the ground so he wouldn't see my weakness, with my hair covering my face.
"Sam." he whispered. I didn't want to hear any of his excuses.
"GO AWAY!" I screamed, though it came out hoarse. I didn't need to look at him to know he was taken back by my outburst. I flinched when a pair of human arms wrapped themselves around my waist and I began to fight back, struggling to get out of his grasp.
"Stop it! Let me go!" I yelled. Sunstreaker only tightened his grip, but not enough to hurt me.
"No, Sam! Stop it!"
"No!" I felt myself being lifted off the ground, making me struggle more. Suddenly, he pressed me onto the ground, the breath being knocked out of me due to the sudden impact. Sunstreaker took this opportunity to pin my arms above my head as he sat on top of me. I tried to fight back, but he was too strong.
"Sam, stop it!" I continued to struggle until he finally snapped. "Dammit, femme, will you just listen to me!" I froze, shocked at how he raised his voice to me. "I know I messed up, okay? I'm trying to make up for that. I just need you to give me a chance."
"I've given you plenty of chances, Sunstreaker!" I snapped. "I'm not prepared to give you another one only for it to blow back up in my face! I can't be hurt again." I finished quietly. Sunstreaker, at first, looked astonished, then it softened with frustrated determination. He released my arms and placed his hand on my face so I was forced to look into his eyes.
"Listen to me, I would never ever hurt you. Do you think what I said to you at the beach was a lie? Do you realize how worried and terrible I felt when I thought I had lost you? I've never been so scared in my life." he whispered.
I had nothing to say to him, because I couldn't think of any words to say. So many questions raced through my mind. Was he telling the truth? Was he really scared for me? The infamous Sunstreaker, scared?
"Answer me, Samantha!" he growled. That was the first time I've ever heard him use my full name. I could see the guilt, the regret, the despair, the absolute misery in his dark blue eyes. "I am your guardian for a reason, I chose to be your guardian for a reason."
"What's the reason?" I asked. Why would he possibly want to be my guardian? What could he have to gain? He shook his head and chuckled a bit.
"Primus, you are so dense." he said, then he became serious. "I became your guardian because it was the only way I could be around you 24/7. I made the decision to be your guardian so that a bond would begin to develop and, when you wee older, it would possibly grow into something...more." At first it seemed like he struggled with the right word to say and was hoping I would catch one, which I did.
"A spark-bond." I whispered. He nodded. "Sunstreaker, I-" I sighed, not knowing how to word my thoughts.
"Please, Sam. At least give me another chance to show you how much I really care." he begged. I began to sit up, Sunstreaker stood up and helped me up.
"I don't know." I muttered.
"Sam, I love you, and I would do anything for you."
"I know you would."
"Then why won't you give me a chance?" he asked exasperated.
"Because I need to know you won't leave me!" I shouted. Sunstreaker was surprised, but remained quiet. "I need to know that you would always be there for me, that you would do anything for me, that you-" I paused, starting to break up, "that you would never use me." I whispered. I looked down, so my hair covered my eyes, and began to cry softly. I was shocked when I felt Sunstreaker wrap his arms around me and pull me into him tightly. My eyes grew even wider when I heard him take a deep, shaky breath...as if he was trying not to cry.
"I sear on everything that I have, everything that I am, that I would go to the Well and back just for you. I would extinguish my own spark before I let anything happen to you. I just need you to trust me."
I relaxed a little as I felt my arms slowly wrap themselves round Sunstreaker.
"I do trust you, Sunstreaker. I love you."
"I love you too, Sam." he breathed.
I knew Sunstreaker would give everything to protect me, and there was no doubt I could trust him with my life, I've done so for ten years, but he needs to prove himself before I could feel any form of closure.