Chapter 13

There were always times when I wondered just how much there was to know about Erik. There were the things that were obvious, and then there were the things you would have never guessed before. When one says Erik is a mysterious man, they aren't joking. I grew up hearing this man's voice, and once he had revealed himself to me I thought I knew everything about him. I did not think much of his past, actually. All I knew was that he was this shunned tragic being, and that used to be enough for me. Living with him however, I found out things about him each and every day that I had never known before. Getting to know Erik as a person helped me greatly to understand and appreciate him. He seems like someone completely different when all you know about him is rumors and hearsay. Even when he exposes himself to you, that's not even a piece of the whole person who is Erik. On the outside, he is literally a monster. And one might think, he is on the inside as well. I once told him that it was not only his face that was distorted, but his soul as well. Anger and the sin of murder would make anyone believe this. But what everyone had failed to do was look past his flawed attributes, and discover what a warm and wonderful person Erik truly was deep down. I even failed to do this for the longest time, and it wasn't long before I found that he had more inside him than any of us in this world who are considered handsome and attractive.

As weeks went by Erik seemed to be healing a lot faster, and eventually he was walking around normally. I was doing fine as well, and it wasn't long before we were making trips to see operas again. Erik's company became more than enough for me, and I would have no desire to wander off at all. I felt that I had finally found my true companion, and I was beginning to feel happiness that I thought I had lost long ago. During shows we would sit together, with Erik's arm around me snugly, holding my hand. If it was one thing I thought I would never be able to distract him from, it was an opera. Occasionally I would play silly games with him, or would fidget around with his hand and surprisingly it would distract him from the show every time. Very few men would allow their wives this type of childish play, but Erik seemed to be a lot different. More often I would playfully try to push his buttons, and he would do the same. This was our own way as a couple to express our comfort around each other.

After we had returned from the show, I started to think about the upcoming ball and asked Erik if he knew how to dance. He was pulling the boat away from the lake, then turned toward me and shook his head.

"It is not a talent that I possess I am afraid. I have watched people dance, yes, but I myself have never had the opportunity myself to learn." He didn't really look at me, so I guessed was slightly embarrassed.

"Well then allow me to teach you."

He had an intrigued look on his face, and agreed. I had never taught anyone to dance before, and I wasn't even quite sure if I was the one to teach him. But being that I was probably more skilled than other young ladies, I thought I'd give it a try. I showed him basic steps, and gave him an introduction to waltzing. He picked it up very quickly, and I found Erik to be an astonishingly fast learner. He was very soaked into it, and I could tell he would enjoy dancing once he learned everything. Hours went by and it became very entertaining. Erik would be staring at his own feet while dancing, fearing he would step on mine. I would laugh at this, and tell him that he must keep his eyes on mine in order to be a successful dancer. He would joke around and tell me to stop smiling then, and this only made me smile more. He seemed to get better and better at it as days went by, and one special evening by my request we journeyed to the roof of the opera house.

"Now your true test, Erik, after all this practice, is to dance with me under these stars as elegantly as the night itself."

A charming smile spread across his face, and he held out his hand to me. Coincidently, we could hear faint soft music being played below us. With long sweeping movements, Erik and I delightedly started dancing. Suddenly I realized Erik was getting better than I was, and his dancing was not only soft and gentle but also romantic. He twirled me about and I felt the soft breeze of the evening through my hair. I closed my eyes and was enraptured by the moment, waltzing under glimmering moonlight that reflected beautiful sparkles off of my flowing dress. Erik seemed to be enjoying himself as well, and seemed captivated while dancing with me. As the soft music started to fade, he lifted me up and gracefully whirled me around, causing the layers of my dress and his cape to flaunt outward with the gust of soft wind. He then gently placed me back down, and our eye contact stayed powerfully locked. I felt myself becoming flustered, and shyly smiled at him.

"Well Erik, it seems you have surpassed me in this particular area."

Erik's face seemed to be glowing with pride, and his excitable tone of voice hinted at his great anticipation for the ball.

"Oh Christine this was a wonderful idea to come up here and dance. It is a splendidly beautiful night under these stars!"

I gazed up at them, and for a moment became lost in their sparkle. A memory came to me, and it made me smile.

"My father used to tell me something about stars."

Erik came from behind me and put his arms around me.

"And what is that, my dear?"

"He used to tell me that the night sky was like a dark blanket, and the stars were just apertures that shined the light of heaven through them."

"Well then my darling, I better hold on to you incase heaven wants their ethereal angel back and tries pulling you back through these apertures."

I giggled and turned around.

"Well if it does you would have to come with me, you are after all the angel of music. They might as well bring you back as well."

Erik jokingly shrugged and straightened his coat.

"It is much too bright up there. I would rather stay right down here with you."

I chuckled and took Erik's hand. He looked deeply into my eyes and smiled.

"Erik, do you ever think about your mother?"

Erik turned slightly and gazed out toward the sky.

"Yes, I think about her every day."

I saw a change in his eyes, and he looked as if he were recalling memories with gloom. I did not mean to put him in a state of nostalgia, but before I could try to change the subject he spoke.

"I never knew who my father was, so my dear mother was all I had in the world when I was a young child. I have faint memories of when I was very little, she used to sit me on her lap while playing the piano and singing. It would usually make me fall asleep. Of course my mother became very sick in the head as time went by, and she was not herself anymore. She stopped playing music, and just lied in bed most of the day. She very much detested my distortion. She would always look at me with great disappointment, and one day made this mask for me. She would not want to look at me until I put it on. And one day she left saying she'd be right back, but she never came back – then I had no one. I just wandered the streets for days, just a child, wanting my poor dear mother to find me and take me back home. People on the street would call me vile names, no one would take me in, and that awful feeling I felt as a child was difficult."

Erik paused and finally looked at me, seemingly calm and peaceful but at the same time sorrowful.

"Then I found this opera house, I found music, and I found you, Christine. And since then things have gotten better."

This was the first time Erik ever truly elaborated on the subject of his mother or his days before the opera house. Just listening to him alone made my heart break for him.

"But I'm not that little boy anymore, Christine. I am a man who has been set free because of the passion for music and the passion for love. And now I have a wife! I! Someone who has always been shunned, have found that one person who will listen to me. You will never quite understand just how much you heal me, Christine."

I covered my face, trying to hide tears. Erik was bringing out emotions I had never experienced before. He touched my arm and I kept my face hidden. When I spoke however, it gave away the fact I was crying.

"It couldn't have been all my doing, Erik."

I heard him slightly laugh and felt him trying to pull my arms away from my face.

"Christine…"

Hearing his gentle call, I finally gave in and lowered my arms. He brushed his thumbs across my cheeks, getting rid of my tears. I then pulled him closer to me, and he knelt down. I wrapped my arms around his neck and lovingly put my forehead against his. The wind was getting colder, and gusts of wind were starting to come about. I shivered and Erik held me a little tighter.

"We better go back now my darling, you I don't want you catching a cold."

I agreed and followed him all the way back down to the lower levels of the opera house. Once he rowed me back to the lair, I stepped out and left to put a nightgown on. When I came out Erik was at his organ, strumming a familiar tune. I stepped closer to him and started singing with the song. It was one of the many songs he had written for me. While singing I noticed my voice had become astoundingly powerful over the last few months, in fact Erik had told me that at this point I far surpassed Carlotta's range. He had fully transformed my voice, even while I was living with him. I enjoyed hearing myself sing, because I had become so skilled I hardly recognized my own voice. It was a good feeling. After finishing our song, Erik nodded in approval and told me I sang brilliantly. I happily jumped into his arms and kissed him like an overly excited little girl.

"Your father would be very proud of you, my dear."

I looked at him and smiled with pride.

"And he spoke the truth when he told me he would send the angel of music to me," I said.

Erik's eyes glistened and he looked touched. He slowly leaned in and hesitantly kissed me, and my gentle response seemed to break down any barriers that were left between us.