Scarred for Life
Chapter 21
So I know you wanted me to update soon... is this soon enough for ya? ;)
Jace P.O.V
I sat up and yawned, stretching my arms over my head. I opened my eyes and the first thing I saw was white. For a second I thought that I was still in heaven, but if I looked closer, I could make out hospital beds. Great, I'm back in the Infirmary.
I turned my head and stopped moving completely, my hands curling into fists by my sides. Clarissa Morgenstern was lying in the bed to my left, looking extremely peaceful as she sleeps. I jumped out of bed and ran over to hers, fully intending to finish what I had started. When I was about a foot away from her bed, I stopped. And not because of a fanged-out Simon standing in my way.
I had hit an invisible wall.
I repeatedly banged my fists on the wall, feeling a sharp sting every time my fists made contact. I was to enraged to care. "Where the hell is Magnus?"
Isabelle stepped forward. I hadn't realized she was even in the room until she spoke up. "I don't know. Probably off in a bedroom somewhere with Alec. Why do you need Magnus?"
"To get him to take down this damn force field thing!"
Simon got out of his predatory stance, realizing I couldn't get near Clarissa. "He didn't put up any force field. Isabelle and I can get as close as we want. You're the only one blocked."
I was just about to ask why, when a voice broke through my thoughts.
It's because of your decision Jonathan. You can't kill her, only protect her.
"Damnit!" I was struck with the sudden urge to put my fist through a wall.
Isabelle walked around Clarissa's bed and put a comforting had on my arm. "What's wrong Jace?"
"You mean besides the fact that my ex-girlfriend turns out to be the girl I've wanted to kill for the past 8 years and her father and brother are out on a psychotic rampage, intent on destroying everything?" Isabelle rolled her eyes but nodded. "Well, after my epic battle I had a little meeting with a couple Angels. It turns out that I made two oaths pertaining to Clarissa, one to kill her and the other to protect her. The Angels made me choose."
Isabelle nodded, finally understanding. "You chose to protect her. The Angels put up this force field because they wanted to make sure you didn't make any rash decisions."
Simon jumped in, probably feeling left out. "So you can't hurt her?" I nodded my head in conformation. "Good, I can relax for a few minutes!" He sagged down onto Clarissa's bed, holding her hand. I looked at Izzy out of the corner of my eye and saw a flash of jealousy.
She made her expression blank before turning towards me. "What are you going to do with her now?"
I dragged a hand down my face, feeling exhausted. "I have no idea. There's no way I can ever go back to her. Not after what she did to my dad. She's a monster, just like the rest of her family."
"Jace, before you completely make up your mind, I have something to tell you. While you were still unconscious Magnus went through her memories. He was ready to kill her, just like you were. Simon convinced him to go back and look through her entire life. He came out in tears. Magnus is thousands of years old and something tells me that he doesn't cry easily. He also said that Clary was, and I quote, 'Upon looking through her memories I have decided that she is not only innocent, but one of the most deserving girls I've ever met.'"
"Ya, deserving of getting hit by a bus."
Izzy sighed; frustrated that she wasn't getting through to me. "Just keep in mind Jace; she was 8 years old back then. When I was 8 I remembered just how much I wanted to please Mom and Dad. I would do anything just to see the proud look in their eyes. Clary just wanted her dad to be proud of her."
I walked out of the room, not wanting to listen to Isabelle defend Clarissa Morgenstern. I walked into my bedroom, my white walls greeting me. I sat down on my bed and breathed in deeply. It smelt faintly of strawberries and lavender, her unique smell.
I couldn't help but reminisce about all the times we had made out on bed. Her smell was probably permanently stuck to my sheets. I tried to fight it, but I smiled at the thought.
I knew, even though I wanted to deny it, that I would always love her. She stole a piece of my heart, and I didn't even want it back. I wanted her to keep it. I wanted her to remember me.
If she remembered me, she'd remember all the terrible things she did to me. She'd remember that she ruined my life.
Shut the fuck up Wayland! You're a player. You need to stop obsessing over one girl. You can't love her, but you can't kill her so you're just gonna have to shut up and stop being a pussy!
I shot off my bed and almost sprinted into the training room. Not wanting time for my thoughts to catch up, I ran over to the stereo and turned on a loud, head-banging, rock station. I walked over to the punching bag and let my thoughts go, for a few hours.
.o.O.o.
"Jace!" I turned around when I heard my name being called.
It was just Isabelle.
"What do you want? Can't you see I'm busy?"
"Yes, I can see that you're busy trying to wallow away in misery. I just came to tell you something." Isabelle looked down at her feet. If I hadn't seen it for myself, I wouldn't believe it. Isabelle Lightwood looked uncomfortable.
Naturally, I went into over-protective big brother mode. "Is everything alright Iz?"
She looked up at me, looking as if she was scared of how I would react to what she was going to say. "Clary just woke up. She's asking for you."
I froze, surprise assuredly written all over my face. "Why on Earth would she want to see me? Did she really think that I'd want to see her after what she told me?"
"Honestly Jace, I think it's a test. She wants to see just how mad you are. If you show up and listen to what she has to say, it means that you could possibly forgive her. If you don't show up, it means that you are still pissed off and can't even stand to look at her right now."
"Good lord Iz! How did you manage to get all that off of a simple request?"
"By the look in her eyes. They were hopeful. She really wants to explain everything to you, if you'll give her the chance."
I don't know why, but I was pissed. "She wants to explain things? Well she had two months to do it! We were together for two months and never told me anything! I'm not going to see her. Now leave, I need to punch something and I prefer you be out of range when I did."
Izzy left without a fight, knowing I had almost reached my breaking point. As soon as the door shut behind her, I round-house kicked the punching bag so hard that it broke of its chains and was sent flying into the wall behind it.
Awww, poor conflicted Jace. :( Did you like all the brother/sister love that I was spreading? They may fight, but they got eachothers backs!
Did you guys like it? sorry if there are any spelling or grammar issues, I kinda wrote it in an hour and it's 1:30 in the morning so I'm not exactly the most awake.
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