I tossed my head back, enjoying my crew's pleasure at exploring Federation space. Besides me, only Kev and Tommy had ever left earth after what had happened. It had been… Interesting teaching the other six what needed to be done on space faring vessel. I couldn't help but enjoy every second of it, if I hadn't become a Captain, I'd have loved to be a teacher. Not something most people would think about me, after all, I'm dangerously addicted to adrenaline and danger, enough so that I've already died because of it once and come perilously close a million other times.
Sighing at the ease of which they'd settled into the life he'd chosen, I let my head fall back against the chair I was slumped in. If Bones were here, I'd be getting chewed out about how my posture would affect me as I got older, but… I ignored the pang the thought of my best-friend sent through my heart. The bond between Spock and I stretched so thin it almost wasn't worth thinking about, it was dangerously close to breaking. I hadn't realized that putting so much distance between us would do that, considering the pre-marital bond he and T'Pring had shared… Maybe it wasn't the fact of physical distance, but… My having put so much mental distance. I also knew from having talked to the Ambassador that Spock and T'Pring had mutual barriers between them, allowing them to have other relations, without affecting the other. So I was a bit confused as to what was going on. I knew Spock wasn't hurt… And I knew for a fact it wasn't me.
I was distracted from my train of thought by two sets of arms sliding around my shoulders and neck, rolling my head, I looked up into the grinning faces of Kev and Tommy. My two boys, my insatiable silly boys, who always knew just when I needed them to distract me. Yes, all of us occasionally had sex together, but we all had our 'partner' of choice. Mine obviously were Kev and Tommy, if I wasn't with them, it was the two of them by themselves…. Which was hot, let me tell you! Tommy crème and mocha, eyes such a brilliant hazel that they shone gold some days… Ah god and Kev! He wasn't slight and delicate like when we were kids, just barely through puberty, the three of us. He was my height now, hair hitting his shoulders in ringlets as tight as any man I'd ever known.
The three of us… I laughed, we'd been known to stop crowds when we hit the bars together. Smirking, I let a thought percolate, seeing the wicked gleam in my eyes, the two rascals leaned down and kissed either cheek. Letting his breath whisper across my ear, watching as I shuddered, Tommy whispered, "We have an audience…" Slivering one of my closed eyes open, I glared up at the imps, "Who…? Better yet, I don't care. I have an idea."
Glancing at each other, they both shrugged. Not like it was any skin off their back if their audience got an eye full. They'd figured out who was following them awhile back, especially when their watchers had stopped when Jim stopped. He'd been sitting at the café for a while, just enjoying the sun and being able to relax.
"So what's your plan oh fearless one?"
Jim let loose with a laugh, it was the name he'd been given on the ship after they'd been rescued, as long as it had taken to get back to Earth and all of that… They'd had a lot of time to cause mischief and destroy things. Motioning for the brats to sit down, I waited until they were settled before I started, "Well… Seeing as the three of us are known for stopping groups… I was thinking that the nine of us should head out to the clubs tonight, we haven't had enough fun time, we've all been working through our issues… And teaching each other the mechanics of running a ship." At the looks the other two were giving him, he gave a slightly sheepish smile and amended, "Okay, us teaching them how to run a ship. I love them dearly… Even better yet, I loved teaching them, such brilliance! It's been so long since I've had an opportunity to teach… I missed that, I didn't think there was anything I missed or could miss about Tarsus."
Tommy and Kev shared another look, they knew exactly what I was talking about. They were two of the ones I'd taken aside and tutored while there were others I'd just taught, some of them music, others whatever they'd asked, so long as I knew. Then… There were one or two who I had taught myself things just so I could teach them. Kev was the one who reached out to me this time, I'd never spoken to any of the psychologist's that I had been sent to after I'd been returned to Iowa, let alone anyone else about what had happened. The fact I was now beginning to open up… Even to those who had been through the same horrors I had been… Or perhaps, most of the same horrors. There were just something's I had never let them partake in, including coming with me to scavenge for food.
I'd had to do so many horrible, degrading things, I didn't want them to have to do the same. I was the protector, the one who would do anything for them. Guess I knew when my self-sacrificing tendencies began, I'm not even sure if it was because I knew what my father did, or if it was just me being me. My Mother sure as hell never gave me any indication that I was worth much in her eyes, all I was… Was just a reminder that my father was dead, dead and long gone. Sam, my brother… Well I was just the one he wanted to hate but couldn't. In the end, he left, abandoning me to the fate of living with my, our, stepfather. Abusive asshole that he was. Which was why I'd been sent to Tarsus in the first place… Feeling Kev wind his fingers with mine, I came back to the present. I saw the look in his eyes, the sorrow, the pain that neither of them could truly fix the past, let alone ease the pain I felt of losing the Enterprise.
"Lets focus on the fun we can have… And our watcher… Can't forget them."
"Of course! Now…" Here they bent to the task of finding which clubs they wanted to go to, seeing as they didn't want to cause trouble, just have fun.Thus their watcher learned more about his Captain than he'd ever known before, despite all the time they had spent together, the love that had been forming between them. The love his actions had almost ruined, the bond they had formed… Useless until the moment they gave in and felt.
Spock had happened upon them just by chance. He had been talked into shore leave by the rest of the Command Crew, including Commander Scott, who Uhura had threatened with castration if he didn't go and leave behind Engineering just for this once in a blue moon. Which made no sense to him, just another of those Human idioms that didn't make sense. He gave an approximation of what in any other being would be considered a shrug, just a barely there then gone lift of his shoulders. Two dark heads barely level with another head, this one the color of cornfields in Iowa…. His home state, the place where he was raised. Why was he here? The last they'd heard… The Admirality had forced him to take a break, away from everyone and everything. In fact, he'd talked to Number One, she'd been the one who had taken care of all the arrangements for his t'hy'la. He hadn't even been aware that the two had known each other, but in fact they had known each other for as long as Jim had been at the Academy. Pike had introduced them… With a barely there narrowing of his eyes, he focused on the men in front of him.
Watching as the three of them separated and went their own ways, observing as Jim ordered coffee and sat there just… Doing nothing, not being the normal hyperactive should have been child he was whenever on the Enterprise. This was… Different, it actually reminded him of when they would sit and play chess together. The Captain would get this look… It was a look of intense concentration and wicked glee, as if he knew what consternation he caused his second in command. But this look, while similar was not the same. He watched as it morphed when the two men joined him once more. The adoration he aimed at both of them, the unfiltered love and warmth that radiated through the bond to him… He felt the anger, illogical as it was rise within him.
He shoved it down, deep inside, building his barriers as high and as thick as he could. He couldn't afford to let it affect him, not this time. He would watch and wait, the jealousy as dangerous as the anger he felt. He listened to their plans, making his own as he did so. His Captain, his Jim, his t'hy'la would be getting quite the surprise tonight.
I groaned as I stretched, I'd been sitting too long. Glancing around, I tried to catch a glimpse of the follower that my two imps had said they had spotted. It really could have just been an accident, someone who had headed in the same direction as them and who had decided to shop or something near there. Hell, it could be one of the natives to the planet! They looked remarkably like Vulcans, but I knew they weren't, thankfully, they weren't touch telepaths either. That would have been hell.
In that instant, even though I was no longer on the Enterprise surrounded by memories of Spock Prime every which way I turned, I was still being haunted by him and that other, better James Kirk. I could see Spock Prime sitting across from me, his features as young as mine as he, no they, sat there sipping coffee and chatting about mundane things, the look in his eyes… Invisible to most, but never to me, never to his James… They smoldered with hidden passion, a possessiveness that rivaled none other. I still wished that my Spock had wanted me that much, hadn't denied me, us, our bond as t'hy'la. I knew that with the bond as weak and close to breaking as it was… It wouldn't take long for both of us to feel the consequences.
I can't help the small, sad smile that crosses my face. There has been no recorded history of either party surviving the breaking of the bond, but in the end it was Spock's choice, mine as well, for not fighting for him. How could I? Uhura and he had been together since the academy. It would have just been cruel of me to take him away. She truly did love him… Deserved him even. I didn't envy her having to inform her family of their relationship though, from what I'd heard, they were a very traditional family, non-accepting of interracial marriages, in some cases, xenophobic. How people like that could still exist in this day and age… I have no clue.
Time passed, the others of their family gathered together. They spoke of their plans, dressed to the nines and bar and club hopped. The laughter was plenty, the casual touches watched almost enviously. Watching from the shadows Spock followed them, keeping in contact with Uhura who waited at the last planned club, he was to make sure they kept up with the pre-made plan to end there rather than any place else. Which it seemed they were going to.
As they approached the doors, Spock slipped further behind, allowing them entrance without his being seen. As he entered, Uhura stepped from the shadows along the wall next to the door, gently grasping his upper arm as she tugged him with her to the table she and the others had claimed as their own. He nodded a greeting to them before he, himself slipped into one of the chairs surrounding the table. In fact there was an extra one for when they were finally able to grab their Captain. As people approached trying to steal it from them, they all, including Spock (Though his was almost disguised as a look of Vulcan disinterest) gave a look that made them scatter like rain drops hitting the ground.
"Serve's 'em righ' afta all, this is the Cap'n's chair, reserved fer whenever we catch his cap'n'ly rear-rend and make 'im listen ta us."
"Yes! The Keptin is deserwing our vrath, leawing us vithout varning! Ve shall give him a thorough talking to." Chekov added his two cents in his heavily accented voice, it didn't matter he'd been serving on the Enterprise for several years already, he would never lose that accent. It was in some cases adorable.
It was Uhura who caught sight of them. The nine of them that is, not just the three he had told them about, but all of them, hands wandering freely even as people stopped and stared. It was as if they knew the affect they were having on people and capitalizing on it, using it to their own advantage, the publicity a turn on.
It was in fact as the Command Crew had been thinking a turn on. They had no fear, no inhibitions. They'd all seen each other at their best and worse, the pain and humiliation. Laughter floated on the unsaid words between them all, the pleasure they found in each other's company was obvious as they each danced and swayed with a grace and knowledge of each other that most people could and would never achieve.
Without realizing it, Spock had stood up and was making his way to them. Unobtrusively, he danced with his Captain, ignoring those who eyed him with trepidation for daring to interrupt what seemed to be a closed dance. At least to outsiders. They didn't care if anyone joined them, just… Normally no one did, no one seemed to want to brave their closeness. It was almost sad really, that all they had was each other because everyone else was too scared to breach societal norms.
As Spock approached and danced with Jim, the others slowly backed away. They recognized him, they didn't trust or like him, they'd been the ones who had been fixing and loving him for so many years, they didn't want to give him up, let alone to someone who had so deeply hurt him. So they watched warily as the half-Vulcan ran his hands along Jim's sides, letting them rest on his shoulders briefly before he wound his arms around his chest, one around his shoulder and the other around his middle. He then pulled him back so that he rested against his chest. They were flush, letting his Captain know that he was hard, so hard and caught between them.
Jim had no idea who was behind him, it wasn't any of his kids, not even Tommy and Kev were this bold with him. Even with his psychic awareness, Jim had no idea who it was, there were too many people here. He frowned, then shrugged as much as he could with the other person holding on to him, before letting the music take him away again. He'd never had any qualms about who or what he'd fuck. There was no point to it.
So they stood there swaying to the beat of the music, the bass thundering around them. It was then Jim turned, eyes closed as he stood on tip toe, letting his lips do the speaking as they ghosted over sharp cheek bones, a proud nose and finally to lips that had been waiting for their t'hy'la. As Jim's lips connected with Spock's, their bond shone brilliantly as it healed itself. All it needed was a reaffirmation of the feelings both had for the other, it was enough to snap Jim out of his music and alcohol induced haze.
I was now eye to nose with a skin tone I'd recognize anywhere. It wasn't just some random bloke either, of course not, it had to be his luck… It was a goddam Vulcan, or Romulan. It didn't matter which, they were descended from the same planet. Different beliefs that was it. Just different beliefs. Stepping away, or so I tried, I was being clung to even more. Then I was hit with a voice I'd only heard in my dreams and hallucinations recently.
"Jim…" Spock was pleading, his voice threaded through with panic at the thought of my leaving. Or at least that's what I thought. It was hard to tell, Spock so rarely let loose his grip on his emotions. Especially in my presence. So I looked up at him as I took one, two more steps away from him, letting him keep his hands resting on my shoulders.
"Spock. What are you doing here?"
Bones jumped in from beside us, "Shore leave. It was just pure dumb luck that Spock caught sight of you… He's missed the living hell out of you kid." With that I eyed Bones then Spock and realizing that they couldn't, wouldn't be the only ones from my crew who were there, I groaned as I saw the murderous look on Uhura's face. I could feel it deep in my bones, now that I'd been not only found, but acknowledged them, I was in for it.
Looking around and motioning for my kids to follow, I spoke to my Command Crew, "Well come one. I'm not doing this here. And we're not doing this on the Enterprise either. I'd rather leave my ship unsullied of what's gonna happen."
The kids surrounded me as we walked, with Tommy and Kev closest to me. I shuddered as I felt Spock's anger and jealousy, seems like having our bond reaffirmed or whatever it was that had happened had made it stronger, tearing down the barriers we, or at least I had placed between us. Feeling the shudder, my imps drew closer, slinging their arms about my shoulders and waist, ignoring the looks my Bridge Crew was throwing their, our way.
Rolling my eyes, I pulled away from both of them and darted forward. Spinning around so that I was jogging backwards, I smirked at all of them, my kids and my Bridge Crew. "Well kids, catch me if you can!" And with that I was off. I was speeding past people at a pace I hadn't allowed myself in so long, too long. Only the kids had ever seen me move at this pace. It was the pace I'd enjoyed until Kodos had happened.
Unsurprisingly, it was Spock who caught up to me, but instead of catching me, he just ran with me, enjoying just us. Laughing, I stopped, looking back at my kids and crew. None of them were even attempting to catch me, so I shared a long look with Spock, holding out two of my fingers, knowing and allowing him to kiss me. From what I'd seen… He and Uhura were no longer together. When… How it happened, that didn't matter, not at the moment, what mattered was that he had come for me. It may have been an accident of fate, but he had followed, he had planned on bringing me home to the Enterprise.
Soon, the other had caught up to us. It was almost surprising how quickly they did so, but it didn't slow down my racing mind. My heart was beating so hard, I was surprised it hadn't burst out of my chest yet. Smiling I slung my arms around the two closest to me, Martina, Marti for short and Rivka. Oh my beautiful kids! Ignoring the looks of the crew, I drew the two girls to me and cuddled them for a moment before I released them and stepped up to my ship. It was on that could be docked planet side or in the depths of space. It was one I had personally built and given to Pike and Number One for safe keeping. When I had needed to run and hide so that I could fix myself… Well, Number One had insisted I take it.
"Come along into our humble abode!" I proclaimed, spreading my arms wide as I stood on the ramp leading inside. Motioning the kids by first, I allowed the crew to follow before I did so, slapping the button to raise the ramp as I did so.
Laughing I walked into the galley, my crew was standing there looking shell shocked. Between the nine of us, we had decorated the decently large space, pictures of all of us growing up, pictures of us at reunions we had managed to attend over the years. Some were holos, others weren't. The ones that weren't were highly coveted. Mementos that were galley appropriate hung in various spots. I know my eyes gleamed with pride, after all, I had built this ship with my own two hands, my family surrounding me… Both sets.
"Well, now that you're done ogling my ship…" I let the teasing words out almost without thinking. Then I shrugged, it wasn't as if they expected anything different from me. I was pretty much the same man as before, just… Brought back from the dead and all that shit.
"Jim…" Bones started, and before he could finish I was interrupting, "They know. How could I keep it from them? I've known then for over a decade Bones, they won't tell anyone. They're… My family."
Uhura let out and undignified noise at that, spitting out through clenched teeth, "They looked like more than family, Captain."
Tommy stepped in then, his smooth crème and mocha features hard and unyielding, covering the scars that had long been faded, "Don't speak to JT that way. He doesn't deserve it! He's always been there for us, sorry if sometimes it's led to sex. Actually no, I won't apologize. We went through hell together, he's our savior, there isn't anything we won't do for him. Including leaving our other friends and family behind to hide in space for six months."
Uhura stared in shock at being dealt with so harshly while I gave Kev and Tommy and appraising look. It was a look that said I hadn't expected that from the two of them but I should have. I'd always done it for them. It was only fair for them to do the same.
"Okay guys, calm the fuck down and sit. I won't have this conversation like this. Better yet kids, scatter!" They did as they were told, even if Kev and Tommy gave me long considering looks before they did so. It wasn't my fault that my crew had shown up and that I couldn't, wouldn't deny them this chance to set things right. I missed the Enterprise… And her crew.
"Why'd you tell them, who are they, have you had sex with all of them?" Bones demanded, not daring to take a breath between questions for fear that Jim would disappear once more.
"I told them because I've known them since Tarsus. They're my kids. No! Ack! Get that thought out of your minds! Ew! No!" I shuddered, I'd have to remember to rebuild my mental shields, having been spoiled by my kids the last six months, I'd hardly bothered to keep those shields in place. It wasn't as if they would keep anything from me. "Yes I've had sex with all of them, and all of them with each other… It's how it's always been." I shrugged. Then shuddered again, glaring at Bones. "Okay, seriously mind out of the gutter. I didn't need that image."
Spock looked at me with a look on his face, before, "You're telepathic aren't you?" I shrugged then spread my hands in a what the hell gesture. It's not like it wasn't going to come out eventually.
"I am. And yes Bones, I did hack my results. You really think I wanted people to know what I was capable of? People have always, always under estimated me. Including the bastard Kodos." It was then that they all realized what he'd been implying and telling them, he and all the others on board this ship had been on Tarsus IV. How could they have been so blind?
"Keptin…" Whispered Chekov, his voice filled with sorrow and the hint of tears. I looked at him, anger just barely flickering at the edges of my face. It wasn't Chekov's fault, I could see no pity, just hurt that he hadn't known, couldn't have known, so I let go of the useless anger. There was no point in it, all it would do would hurt those I cared about.
"Look, I've got room on the ship. Lets all get some sleep and talk about this later?" With hardly a word spoken between them, they all nodded. I pulled Spock up from the table and leaned into his ear, "You're with me Mister Spock." He nodded, letting out a barely audible sigh, as if he'd been expecting to be rebuffed.
"C'mon guys, I'll show you where you'll be bunking."
"Won't your 'kids' mind?"
"Nope, 'cuz they're all bunking together anyhow, I've got extra rooms for a night."
"How do you know they're bunking together…?"
"They're all in pairs," I smirked seeing the looks on their faces, before continuing, "Yes, we have orgies, yes I have had sex with them, but they're all happily involved in their own individual couples. Tommy and Kev for example… They're together. I just… Join on occasion. I'm the odd one out being the oldest and the one who was… Father, brother, protector, and everything else you can imagine. Even if Kev and Tommy are closest to me in age. I carried Kev for miles upon miles as we ran from Kodos and his men. They'd killed over half of the population in one fell swoop…" I shrugged. "Anyway, here you are Bones, Uhura… Scotty, you two will be in the one right next to his, Chekov, Sulu, you two boys will be sharing, this one right here, across from Uhura and Scotty." As I turned to walk away with Spock, Chekov braved asking a question, "Vhere is Mister Spock, er, Keptin Spock sleeping…?"
Just as I spoke, Spock spoke as well, both of us saying "I am not Captain, that honor belongs to Jim."
"He's with me of course. There are some things we need to talk about, without you guys. Not that I don't love you, but…" I looked at them once more before spinning on my heel and walking to my quarters. Spock on my heels, close enough I could feel the heat of his body.