Chapter 11 - Lasting Bonds
Buffy ran in the house, bounding up the stairs. It was only a couple hours before sunrise, but she didn't care that she may wake the house, she was beyond freaked and needed to be back in her own skin. She couldn't keep up the charade anymore and she certainly didn't trust Dawn to deal with the whole Riley situation. "Dawn." she spoke, trying to wake her sister.
"What?" She groggily forcing herself to wake up and slowly sit up as Buffy clicked on the lamp on her nightstand. "What's got you all freaked?"
"I need to switch back." Buffy opened the drawer and pulled out the box that held their second Katra.
"Why all of a sudden? Thought you were enjoying your vampire time."
"What did Spike tell you? Did he beat me back?"
"No. God, why you so twitchy?" She finished adjusting and actually looked at her sister, who was more freaked than she had seen her in a long while, and for no discernible reason yet.
"Out on patrol it was... I just need to be me again, I can't make you go through all this..." Buffy rambled pacing the room.
But Dawn effectively ceased her sister's rambling as she declared. "You don't have to protect me, I'm not afraid!" Then she grabbed her sister's hand and began to sing. "Please don't shut me out again, please don't slam the door, you don't have to keep your distance anymore." Oh God. .. Not again... Buffy thought to herself as her sister continued. " 'Cause for the first time in forever, I finally understand! For the first time in forever, we can fix this hand in hand. We can take on this dragon together." She stacked her other hand on top of the one she was already grasping. "You don't have to live in fear. 'Cause for the first time in forever, I will be right here." She smiled sweetly to her sister.
"Dawn, please…" Buffy retracted her hand and backed away. "It's not the beast, it's the man... all this time as you, has brought me close to him."
"Yeah, but... " Dawn seemed confused by what her sister was trying to say.
"I know, you mean well, but leave me be. Yes, I'm alone, but I'm alone and free!" Buffy reassured herself. I don't need a guy...
"You're not alone! You can count on me!" She reached for her sister again but Buffy was too far away.
"Dawn we need to now..." Buffy stepped toward her again holding up the box, afraid of what else was about to come pouring out of her.
"Why must we do it now?"
"There are things that you don't know..."
"What do I not know?"
"I'm falling for him, and I told him so..." Buffy burst out, unable to control herself, then her face showed a new kind of terror.
"What?" Dawn spoke, but they could both tell they were still under the song's hold.
"Out on patrol, he knew you were me... we sang... and I confessed I wanted him."
"Wanted him?!" Buffy sat on the end of the bed, looking defeated. "Oh Buffy it's okay that you care..." Dawn leaned forward and placed a hand on her sister's shoulder.
"No, I can't," She flailed and shook her sister off. "I can't do this again..."
"This is so different, I know this can work!" Dawn reassured, then sang again, "Cause for the first time in forever..."
"Oh I'm such a fool, I can't be free!" Buffy stood up again, practically yelling as she sang, holding the box to her chest.
"You don't have to be afraid."
"No escape from the storm inside of me!"
"We can work this out together." Dawn stood up from the bed.
"I can't control this verse!"
"We'll work through the mess you've made." Dawn started for the door.
Buffy grabbed her back before she took another step. "Ohhhh, Dawnie, please, you'll only make it worse!"
"Don't panic." Dawn placed a hand on her sister's cheek.
"There's so much fear!" Buffy started to feel tears welling in her eyes as she stared back at her sister.
"It'll all turn out alright."
"I can't have them here!" Buffy shook her head, and took a step away from her kin.
"We can face these things together."
"Oh!" Buffy opened up the box.
"We can work this out for better."
"AHHHHH..." She placed the katra in her hand and tossed the box aside.
"And everything will be alright..." Dawn took a step closer
"I CAN'T!" Buffy bursted out and clapped their hands together over the Katra. Their hands glowed bright for a few moments as they felt the magic surge between them once again and they both found they had closed their eyes and held their breath. As they exhaled they opened their eyes to see their sister standing in front of them. They weren't sure if the song happened to end or their new spell had ceased it. But they both felt in control of their own bodies again. The sisters unconsciously started testing their bodies. Buffy felt a dramatic improvement from what she remembered her body feeling like.
"Wow..." Dawn was the first to speak, both about their exchange and feeling her vampire body again.
"Pretty much." Buffy admitted. "Would you look at that, I'm standing. And when the hell did you get taller than me? Vampires don't grow."
"Well you didn't exactly notice with everything going on. Hit a growth spurt a little after mom died. And now I'm glad I did since ya know, that'll be it."
"Huh, guess so…" Buffy drifted then started to roll her shoulders and test her damaged areas.
"Yeah, feels better don't it?" Buffy nodded in response. "I wouldn't say your ready to slay, but you're mostly self sufficient."
"Thanks Dawnie." Buffy sat back down on the bed and her sister joined beside her
"So... we gonna unfold what just happened?" Dawn prodded.
"I don't know why I sang what I did. I don't love Spike. I don't even trust him... He's a soulless..."
"Buffy," Dawn interrupted her. "In looking into this Demon guy, the songs he brings out are the truth. Sometimes it's truth you don't realize, or something you never wanted to admit." Dawn set a hand on her sister's shoulder. "But it's always true."
Buffy looked to the floor. "But... he's everything I'm against... he's a monster..."
"But you treat him like a man." Buffy looked to her sister. "He mentioned what he said before the fight, when you trusted him enough to invite him in the house again."
"When did he...?"
"Remember that most of the time you spent recovering, we were training, and talking. Unavoidably about you... more than I cared for at times." Buffy looked uncertain at the information. You know I want you, it's not a secret I try to hide... His lyrics echoed in her head. "But Buffy the more we'd talk about you, the less creepy it seemed."
"What?"
"That came out weird I know, but Spike is beyond devoted to you."
"I think the word you're looking for is obsessed."
"Shouldn't you be obsessed with the person you love?" Dawn pointed out, then stood up and stepped in front of her sister. "Buffy, I know he would never hurt you. And no matter what Giles or Xander or whoever would say about it, it is okay that you have feelings for him." She was trying to be reassuring, but now her sister looked more terrified than her initial confession. "What else happened tonight Buffy?"
It would have been hard enough to process what her sister was saying without the added information that her ex was about to be thrown into the mix. "It's... After we sang I ran from Spike..." She started but couldn't finish.
"What? Did you sing again?" Dawn chuckled.
Buffy puffed air out, intending to laugh as well but that's all that came out. "I did, actually... I came across Mom's grave as I ran, wound up singing about how I missed her and how hard it's been to keep moving forward..."
Dawn's laugh faded and she commented genuinely as she sat beside her sister again. "That's one song I'd sing along to."
"But after I sang... Riley was there."
"What!?" Dawn practically yelled.
"He was looking for me, I told him as you, that I wasn't out patrolling tonight."
"You say you were injured, or about me being a vampire?"
"I didn't say much, and I didn't let him ask much. I was too freaked." Buffy was overwhelmed. "First the thing with Spike, then the sad song about Mom, then Riley comes back out of the blue... it was too much..."
"Okay, I get the intense need to get back in your own skin." Buffy nodded as Dawn puffed out an unneeded breath, then asked. "Is Riley coming here now?"
"No. But I told him he could come by at a more human hour."
"Okay then, why don't you get some sleep. You're pretty well freaked at the moment."
"I don't even know if I could sleep at this point." Dawn scooted closer and gave her a sideways hug. "Dawn?" She asked still holding the hug.
"Uh-hun?"
"Can you stay in here with me? If Spike comes back here tonight... I'm not ready for a one-on-one just yet..."
"Sure, Buffy. Just lemme put a blanket over the window so I don't get all crispy."
Morning came too soon for Buffy, she didn't sleep much at all. There was some security that Spike wouldn't come looking for her in her own body just yet. Regardless of how any of this turns out, Dawn switching with me... that was some of the best post-apocalypse therapy I've ever had... She thought to herself before her sister started to stir beside her.
"Morning Buffy." Dawn greeted with a yawn as she faced her sister.
"Morning." Buffy smirked. "It's been a while since we've had a sleepover in each other's room like this."
"Yeah, when we moved to this house and I didn't want to sleep in my new room alone..."
"I remember that." Didn't happen, but we both remember the memory... "Dawn I just wanted to say..."
"Thanks." Dawn finished for her.
"Well, yeah." She smiled. "I was in a rough place after the fight with Glory, and seeing how capable you've become and being able to get back on your feet really helped."
"Plus, Spike's cool to hang out with." Dawn added, to which Buffy merely rolled her eyes. "And Buffy, thank you too."
"For giving you a broken body rental?"
"It gave me a chance to see what people expect of you. Plus, got to be incharge for once." She smirked, a little too much like a certain vampire. Then they both heard music once again.
"I wanted to be like you, I wanted everything." Dawn sang, "So I tried to be like you, and I got swept away." She stood up and walked around the bed "I didn't know that it was so cold, and you needed someone to show you the way. So I took your hand and we figured out that when the tide comes, I'd take you away."
Dawn offered her hand to her sister "If you want to, I can save you." Buffy placed her hand in hers "I can take you away from here." The vampire pulled the slayer to her feet. "So lonely inside, so busy out there, and all you wanted was somebody who cares." Buffy smiled to her sister. She really does get it now... the burden...
"I'm sinking slowly," Buffy sang back to her "So hurry, hold me. Your hand is all I have to keep me hanging on."
"Please, can you tell me?" the younger sister cooed, "So I can finally see, where you go when you're gone." She pulled her in for a hug. "If you want to, I can save you, I can take you away from here."
"So lonely inside," Buffy admitted, "so busy out there, and all I wanted was somebody who cares."
Dawn pulled back from their embrace and stared into her sister's eyes "All you wanted was somebody who cares. If you need me, you know I'll be there! Oh-oh, whoa, yeah."
"If you want to, I can save you." The sisters sang together.
"I can take you away from here." Buffy belted.
"I can take you away." Dawn echoed.
"So lonely inside, so busy out there, and all you wanted was somebody who cares. Oh, whoa."
"And all you wanted was somebody who cares." Dawn pushed, both sisters getting more excited. "Oh, oh, oh, oh. If you want to..."
"If you want to..." Buffy started.
"I can save you, I can take you away from here!"
"I can take you away!" Buffy smiled, knowing her and her sister were finally on the same level.
"So lonely inside!" The girls sang together. "So busy out there! And all you wanted was somebody who cares!"
They embraced before Dawn quietly finished. "Please, can you tell me? So I can finally see, where you go when you're gone..."
"Well, I guess you really do get me now..."
"I'd like to think so, and you saw how everyone looks at me..."
"Yeah, switch was well worth it." Buffy smiled and took a step back from her sister, rubbing her tear welled eyes. She took a deep breath through her nose and remembered her sense that was now diminished, and chuckled a little. "God I miss your sense of smell."
"Smell is very important to a vampire." Dawn pointed out.
"You are a product of your sire." She commented then seemed to finally notice she was standing up. Huh, not too bad, just a little achy... like after a hard patrol… or a normal big bad fight.
"It ain't a bad thing Buffy."
"That is yet to be determined."
"Buffy..." She started a question then stopped herself.
"What Dawn?"
"Were you still hoping Riley would come back?" She asked cautiously. "I mean, it seemed like you've moved on."
"It's complicated Dawn." Buffy looked around the room. "There was so much I never got to tell him, so much he never gave me the chance to fix."
"You think he would have left if I hadn't been zapped in your life?" Buffy looked back to Dawn.
"None of this was your fault Dawn." She made clear as she set her hand on her sister's.
"I know, Riley went and got suck jobs from vampire trolls, but..."
"What did you just say?!" Buffy was both shocked that her sister now knew exactly what Riley had done and in how she said it.
"Spike told me what he found Riley doing, and that it was a big reason why he left."
"Oh, I'm so gonna kill that peroxided..."
"Oh no you're not. You want him around." Dawn shushed her sister's threat. "Anyway, I asked Buffy. I was asking about initiative stuff and the conversation kinda veered to Riley, then I asked if he knew more about why he left so suddenly..."
"He had no right explaining all that to you." Buffy was clearly getting aggravated.
"Oh don't get mad at him." Dawn shushed her. "He told me from the start he wasn't gonna lie to me, and I could go to him for anything, vampire related or personal. Spike is to me like Giles is for you, except Spike doesn't have a stupid council to contend with dictating what he should or shouldn't tell me."
Buffy puffed out the air she didn't know she was holding in. "When did you start making sense?"
Dawn only smiled to her sister before the Summer's girls were interrupted when Tara knocked on the door. "Oh, Buffy. What are you doing up here?"
"Just where I ended up after patrolling..." She explained from her own body without clarifying. Tara caught the hint then focused a moment to reassure herself that the sisters had indeed switched back.
"Patrol got weird." Dawn translated.
"Dawn." Buffy stopped her.
"Oh what, like you're not gonna tell Willow and Tara about all this?" She raised a brow.
"Fine but I'm not explaining it all twice..." Tara took the hint and stepped out to get her girlfriend. After a minute the wiccas returned. All four ladies were sitting on Buffy's bed while she recapped the night to them, this time in more detail than what she was able to give to Dawn amidst her panic earlier that morning.
After everything was said, Willow was the first to ask. "So, did Spike come back here then?"
"I don't know..." Buffy seemed a little worried, it hadn't quite clicked that one of her problems was possibly asleep in her basement.
"He ain't here." Dawn assured them. "I can sense when my sire's that close." Buffy breathed a little easier. Good… wasn't quite ready to deal with whatever I'm feeling with him yet…
"So after all that..." Tara started. "W-what do you want Buffy?"
"Hell if I know." She huffed.
"So do you actually like Spike now?" Willow pushed cautiously.
"No, I mean he can't love, he has no soul."
"Don't mean he doesn't care," Dawn muttered, "and definitely doesn't mean ya can't like him."
"Yes is does Dawn. He can't feel the same way we do and you can't trust someone without a soul." Buffy refuted. Unseen to the sisters, Tara gave her girlfriend a knowing glance.
"But you so trust him!" Dawn defended. "Why else would you leave me and mom under his protection? You go out on patrol with him, you trust him to watch your back and not let another demon get at ya. And you invited him back into our house after..."
"That's all slayer stuff."
"So." Dawn refuted. "Just because it's for work, it's not real trust. Hell, your work is life and death, you can't tell me you don't trust him." Buffy didn't know what to say in response. When the hell did I start trusting Spike… "He's practically a scoobie. And you would care if he went poof, he matters to you Buffy."
"I mean..." Willow started. "He has helped us a lot and he didn't let Dawn kill us all when she became all evil undead."
"That's true, and I even wanted to kill everyone and turn you into a vamp."
"Now you tell me..." Buffy huffed, That info could have stayed off this whole mess...
"What?"
"That's what finally clicked to Spike, figured out we were swapped. I didn't remember the first things you said or did."
"Well all that is pretty vivid to me I guess. At least until these two knocked me out." She smirked to the witches.
"Exactly what your sire explained." Buffy assured and flopped backwards on the bed.
"Buffy, you know none of us can tell you what to do." Willow offered. And honestly if he had his soul I don't know that Buffy would have any hesitations at this point... Perhaps Tara's right... It might be time to let her know about my theory... "But we'll be there for you, whatever you choose."
"Well we all know how steller my picking of men has been." Bleeding tragic taste in men… Buffy recalled Spike telling her when they found out the initiative was against them. Then she started to sing. "If there's a prize for rotten judgment. I guess I've already won that." She rolled her eyes both at what was coming out of her mouth and that it was in song form. "No man is worth the aggravation." She flipped the covers off and scooted to the edge of the bed. "That's ancient history! Been there, done that!"
The ladies scooted together on the bed facing the blonde and started to harmonize. "Who you think you're kidding? He's the earth and heaven to you. Try to keep it hidden, honey, we can see right through you."
"Oh no!" Buffy held out trying to sing over them but they continued.
"Girl, you can't conceal it." Tara smirked.
"We know how you're feeling." Willow sang out.
Then Dawn, "And who you're thinking of!"
"No chance, no way!" Buffy pushed herself off the bed, stepping away from them. "I won't say it, no, no."
"You swoon, you sigh." The redhead teased,
"Why deny it, oh, oh?" The ladies crooned from the bed.
"It's too cliché. I won't say I'm in love." Buffy leaned against her vanity, and looked at the pictures displayed on it. Photos of everyone in her life besides her love interests, but she could still remember what photos of Riley and Angel she had up for a time. "I thought my heart had learned its lesson. It feels so good when you start out." She glared into the mirror and held a hand against her head like Spike would when his chip fired. "My head is screaming, 'Get a grip, girl!' " She quickly turned back around, and gripped her shirt over her heart. "Unless you're dying to cry your heart out! Ohhhh!"
Tara and Willow popped up to their feet on the floor while Dawn stood up on the bed. "Girl, you keep denying, who you are and how you're feeling." They all put their hands on their hips. "Baby, we're not buying. Hon, we saw your face concealing." The witches stepped forward, each grabbing one of Buffy's hands. "Face it like a grownup. When you gonna own up," They pulled her in the middle of them. "that you got, got, got it bad!"
"Whoaaooo! No chance, no way!" She pushed her way out of the circle, but found herself smiling. "I won't say it, no, no!"
"Give up, give in." The ladies seemed confident in their stance as Willow sat back on the bed.
"Check the grin, you're in love." Tara stepped behind her tilting her face up to the mirror again.
"This scene won't play." The slayer shook smile off and shrugged the witch away as she turned back toward them, seeing an almost unimpressed look on their faces. "I won't say I'm in love!" She held out the note as the other sang on.
"You're doing flips, read our lips, you're in love!" Tara made her way back to her seat as well.
"You're way off base!" Buffy nearly yelled, as she made her way back to the bed. "I won't say it!"
"She won't say it, no." The girls shrugged.
"Get off my case! I won't say it…" Her fervor was starting to wane.
"Girl, don't be proud." The ladies guided her back to sit on the bed. "It's okay you're in love." Dawn plopped back down beside her sister, with a smile plastered on her face.
"Oooooh…" Buffy leaned against her sister. "At least out loud… I won't say I'm in… love…"
"Sha, la, la, laa, laa, laaaa… love… " The music faded out. First I want him and now… Love?... They think I'm in love with him… Before anything else could be said there was a knock on the front door. "And there's problem number 2..." Buffy grumbled, trying to shake off her inner turmoil. "Punctual as always."
Willow hopped up off the bed first. "Alrighty then, guess we'll unfold that musical tidbit later…" And that convo I wanted to have will have to wait... "I'll let Riley in. You take a minute to get dressed and whatnot, just come down when you're ready."
"Thanks Willow."
Dawn gently hugged her sister. "Don't be afraid of what your feeling." she advised them released her sister and asked a bit more light hearted. "Can I tell Riley I'm a vampire? He'd be like the only person I've actually been able to tell." Dawn asked as she popped up.
"Go for it, that'll buy me some time." Buffy agreed, to which Dawn squeaked in response. "But let me tell him about the switch."
"No problem." Dawn threw her sister a thumbs up and quickly made her way downstairs.
"Very unstealthy of her vampireness." Tara commented amused as they both heard her trudge down the stairs.
"She's learning." Buffy acknowledged "Plus, I've taken her last two days of training."
"Suppose, you need any help getting ready Buffy?"
"I should be good, thanks though." Buffy slowly got herself ready, contemplating what the hell he was back to say... Does he want to get back together or does he just need help with something?... Of course if it's monster issues I'm all for that, or at least sending Dawn and Spike to go... Ha! Like Spike would help Riley... Buffy looked to the mirror, giving her mussed hair a quick brush. Not that I need to look date worthy, but a step toward normal would be good. She set the brush down and looked herself over, black yoga pants and a dark red tank top. She grabbed a zip up sweatshirt and shrugged it on as well. "This will do."
Downstairs Willow and Dawn had greeted Riley and escorted him into the living room. The interaction was a bit odd to say the least. Riley had never said goodbye to the gang, and with how he left things with Buffy they were all pretty sure they should hate him.
"What? No peace offering?" Dawn commented, only partly joking. "You go on this exotic trip and you can't bring anything back to appease the angry people you left?"
"Oh, well I suppose..." Riley fumbled through his bag, then finally pulled a necklace from a small pocket. There was an oval amber stone placed into an abstract shaped piece of metal. "Here ya go Dawn, came across this in a trade a while back."
"Ooo. Pretty." Dawn accepted the offering then inquired further. "Is it demonic, or just central american-ish, or..."
"I don't really know much of anything about it," Riley inserted. "And sorry I don't think I have anything for you Willow."
"Oh don't worry about that with me. It's what you got for Buffy that concerns me."
"Oh trust me I got her covered..." The girls were a bit confused by how the boy put that, and it was quite between them for a minute. "So, Buffy must not have any shovels around."
Dawn was visibly confused. Then a certain conversation popped back into Willow's brain. "Well you did hurt her, but I'll wait for Buffy to decide if I should beat you to death with one." She raised an eyebrow, trying to remain intimidating for her friend's protection.
"So," Dawn finally broke the tension. "How'd ya get that?" She asked, gesturing to a large cut seemingly across his right eye. Still fresh enough not to call it a scar, but healed enough not to have any kind of bandage over it.
"Sopovra demon. We were tracking it and it jumped us." He responded frankly. "Grant pulled it off me before it did worse."
"Nice. Haven't come across one of those myself yet." Dawn commented walking toward the living room.
"Yeah, um, why is it that you're out patrolling now Dawn?" Riley asked concerned as he followed her and sat on the couch.
"Buffy's been laid up, and Spike's been training me." Riley was visibly confused by the brief explanation. "Oh yeah, and this." Dawn turned to face him and changed her face to its more demonic form, making the soldier jump to his feet and pull out a stake from inside his vest.
Willow quickly stood between the two. "Easy Riley. She's good."
"She's," He started toward Willow then looked to Dawn "You're a vampire?!" Dawn nodded while she smiled showing off her new fangs. "How, when?"
"The whole Glory fight, but Willow gave me my soul right back so it's all good. Never even killed anyone, Spike saw to that." Dawn commented casually.
After Riley sat again and put his weapon away the girls expanded on the story. Riley was confused for the most part but became visibly thrown by the notion that Spike turned Dawn into a vampire. The girls explained how they got around the chip, but the man was still uneasy about the notion.
"Spike's become an integral part of the team. Buffy has even said..." Before Riley could settle about what he was being told Dawn interrupted herself, perking up, then bounded up the stairs to help Buffy down them. "I know you're probably good, but I don't want you tweaking something." Buffy nodded in thanks to her sister. She would know... There was something very comforting having someone who knew exactly what she was feeling. Soon enough they were at the base of the stairs where Riley was now standing.
"Buffy." Riley greeted almost in aww. "How are you feeling? The girls said you got pretty hurt after your fight with a hell god."
"Yeah, a lot of stuff happened in that last fight."
"They said that as well." Riley agreed. "Still trying to wrap my head around Dawn."
"I showed you my fangs to prove it." Buffy made her way over to the couch as her sister bolstered her demonic credit to her ex.
"No no, I believe you. Just a lot to take in." he clarified as he followed Buffy to the couch.
Dawn offered her hand to her sister to help her sit. "You need anything Buffy?"
"Umm, some tea sounds good?" Buffy asked as she settled in her seat. "Oh, and Spike's orders, you need to drink more blood."
"Sure thing. You want anything Riley? Got tea, water, soda, pig's blood?" Dawn offered, to which Riley shook his head.
"Spike is giving orders now?" Riley questioned seriously as Willow and Dawn stepped out to the kitchen.
"He knows what's best for a growing vampire." Buffy shrugged. "That's not exactly covered in the slayer handbook."
The exes sat in silence for a minute until Riley worked up the courage to speak. "I'm sorry I didn't stay, you're mom, Glory, Dawn... You've been through so much."
"We have, me and Dawn."
"Right, of course."
"Why are you here Riley?" Buffy asked, a bit more abruptly than she intended.
"Jungle didn't agree with me." he motioned to his face, then added. "Look I don't know if you remember, but after I found out you were the slayer, you wanted to give up on us before we even tried." Buffy nodded, recalling their early interactions. "I told you that things fall apart, and that evil comes and goes, but the way people manage is..."
"They don't do it alone." She finished for him, softening her demeanor a moment. She could tell he'd rehearsed what he was gonna say, like he had been known to do when they first started dating. He pulled me into the light back then, helped me move past Angel... But then he abandoned me... "But you're the one who decided to leave. I never asked you to."
"When I left..." He started, "I didn't think there was anything I could say or do to make things better between us."
"And you decided that without even giving me a chance to try and make things right." She made very clear and looked away from him again. "Everything about our break-up blindsided me Riley. What you were doing… All the things you thought you couldn't tell me…"
"I was trying to understand how I fit in your life, you had enough you had to stay on top of."
"And I always will Riley." How is it that Spike fits in and helps me more than a guy who's desperately trying to...
"I get that now. That's why I came back." He stated confidently, making the girl look at him again. "You turned my world upside down. And I needed to be on my own for a while to figure things out."
"And some part of me understands that, but it still hurt... in all kinds of horrible ways... and I blamed myself for..."
"I know, and I'm sorry for how I left things, it's just..." They both heard a soft guitar start. Shit... Buffy thought to herself before the boy started to sing. "This time, this place, misused, mistakes..." To Buffy's surprise he didn't seem too off put that he was singing. Then again I wasn't visibly thrown at my first song when it was happening… "Too long, too late. Who was I to make you wait?" Riley sat on the edge of the couch facing her. "Just one chance, just one breath, just in case there's just one left. 'Cause you know, you know, you know!" He placed a hand on hers. "That I love you. I've loved you all along. And I missed you. Been far away, for far too long." He was staring intently in her hazel eyes. "I keep dreaming you'll be with me, and you'll never go. Stop breathing if I don't see you anymore." Buffy shirked away, not sure what to say even if she could interrupt.
Riley slid off the couch and took a knee in front of her. "On my knees, I'll ask, last chance for one last dance." He held out a hand palm up waiting for her to take it. " 'Cause with you; I'd withstand, all of hell to hold your hand." His other hand gently tucked her hair behind her ear. "I'd give it all; I'd give for us, give anything, but I won't give up." Timidly she placed her hand in his. " 'Cause you know, you know, you know...!" A smile grew on the boy's face as he clasped his hand around hers.
"That I love you, I've loved you all along, and I miss you. Been far away, for far too long." He slowly stood, pulling the blonde up with him. "I keep dreaming you'll be with me, and you'll never go. Stop breathing if I don't see you anymore."
"So far away..." Buffy sang, unsure of what was about to come forward. Try to forgive...
"Been far away, for far too long." Riley conceded.
"So far away..." The slayer echoed. Teach me to live...
"Been far away, for far too long." Riley's face dropped, thinking he was doing anything but convincing her.
"But you know, you know, you know..." Give me the strength to try... "I wanted," Riley looked up to her hopeful. "I'd wanted you to stay, 'cause I needed." She trailed off.
"I need to hear you say." He pushed, taking his free hand and caressing her cheek. "That, 'I love you'."
"That I love you." Buffy found herself confessing.
"I have loved you all along." Riley smiled wide at her response. "And I forgive you."
"And I forgive you, for being away, for far too long." Buffy smiled back, she could feel her eyes welling.
"So keep breathing, 'cause I'm not leaving you anymore." He pulled her close, squeezing her as tight as he dared with her current injuries. "Believe it, hold on to me and never let me go."
"I'll keep breathing," Buffy embraced the hug and wrapped her arms around him too. " 'Cause I'm not leaving you anymore. Believe it, hold on to me and never let me go."
"Keep breathing, hold on to me and never let me go."
"Keep breathing, hold on to me and never let me go." They both heard the music fade out but remained in their embrace.
What was that... I still love Riley... Well of course I do, I never stopped loving him... Was that song in my room about Riley… not Spike? She found herself disappointed at that possibility. But then… what was all that with Spike... suppose I never said love to him or out loud... I said want... need... albeit in a leading sort of way... Buffy didn't want to pull away, she wasn't ready to unpack all that. God I could go for Dawn barging in...
After a moment Riley loosened his grip and looked down to his ex in his arms. Buffy didn't raise her face to look at him, she left her forehead against his chest. "Well, that was..."
"I know, it's this whole magical musical thing we have going..." She tried to explain the weirdness that just happened, but she was cut off.
"That was perfect." Buffy looked up and he was smiling down at her. He placed a hand on her chin and raised her lips to his.
"Oh my god!" Dawn stepped back into the kitchen, setting the mug of tea down a bit too hard, splashing it about.
"What?" Willow asked concerned.
"I should have just stayed in her body." Dawn muttered as she grabbed a paper towel to clean up her mess. "I wouldn't have swapped back if I thought she was gonna be that dumb… That's so not what I meant by not being afraid of her feelings."
"What's wrong Dawnie?" Tara asked calmly.
"Oh nothing, they're just in there making out."
"That was fast." Willow commented.
"One little song and Buffy forgets everything Riley's done to her..." Dawn aggressively threw away the paper towel. "Everything Spike's done for her...! For us! And I thought we were really getting through to her… Ahhh!" Dawn looked out the shaded window. "Damn sun, can't even drag his ass back here to defend himself. Dumb vampire giving her space..."
"Dawn, what happened in there." Tara placed a firm yet gentle hand on her shoulder.
"Riley was singing, which I kinda expected with the current emotions and hidden thoughts to music thing we got going. Which, by the way, is starting to happen way more often. But anyway, Buffy sang back that she loved him and missed him. And forgave him, which, since when..." Dawn's frustration was beyond clear. "And now they're making out in the living room. Willow, I'm gonna go find you a shovel."
"Um, Dawn," Tara grabbed her by the arm, halting the vampire's advance toward the back door, "First off sun." she let go of Dawn then added "But, isn't that kind of a good thing, them making nice. I mean Riley was good for her."
"Sure, was good for her when she needed to actually move on from Angel drama, ya know until he betrayed her, abandoned her, and now came back after the whole hell god danger is behind us."
"It's not like he knew Glory was going to be this big thing." Willow pointed out. "We didn't even know..."
"It wouldn't have mattered if he knew, the wanker still would've left." The vampire spat out as she felt her features change.
"Why's this bugging you so much Dawnie?" Willow asked, approaching her.
"Cause he's not right for her!" She found herself growling at the witches. "She can trust a soulless slayer killing vampire more than she can trust teutonic militia man. And she was getting sooo close to admitting… The timing of it all is just bullocks."
"What did we call you're... um... Spike level?" Tara spoke softly.
"Sorry, it's just," Dawn shook off her game face. "I talked to him yesterday, and I think he really wants to change, like change change. But Buffy's too blind to see that. Hell she barely sees how devoted he is to her. But if he did something drastic…" The ladies simply waited for her to fully explain the point she was getting at. "I think if he was given the chance, he'd take his soul back." She explained expecting a significant reaction.
"Oh, well we knew that." Tara shrugged and Willow nodded agreeing.
"What?!" Dawn was baffled by the non-chelont response.
"He asked us to help him look into it." the red head added, "We talked about it when we gave yours back, but with how we altered it..."
"Yeah, we di-didn't want to put unneeded hurt on Buffy if something were to go wrong with both curses." Tara interjected.
"So, have you guys found anything?"
"I haven't been looking since we started singing." Willow bluffed, unsure she wanted to share her altered Spike theory with the excitable Dawn just yet.
"Well show me the books, I'll start digging into them."
"I suppose that couldn't hurt." Willow agreed, It would give her some clarity into her own spell at least. Willow emitted into her girlfriend's mind.
I'll show her our notes and spell research. Tara nodded then started out of the room. Dawn followed, carrying Buffy's tea with her to hand it off.
"Um, Tara, we should really ska-doodle to the magic box, promised Anya we'd help her play catch-up." Willow announced following them, Tara held back and nodded to her girlfriend.
Do you know where to go? Tara silently asked.
I think so…
I'll prepare a protection spell.
Willow kissed her girlfriend and responded in turn. Dawn's right, he has to know… before things…
…Escalate. "I'll be back down in a minute." Tara smiled and headed up the stairs to find their notes on soul research, and tuck away their notes on their empathetic vampire theory.
"Here's your tea." Dawn said coldly, breaking up the entwined pair.
Buffy stepped back from her tall companion and accepted the drink. "Thanks Dawn." She took a sip then looked between the drink and her sister a little embarrassed. "You heard..."
"Doesn't take vampire hearing to hear a song from the living room."
"Right." Riley concurred, then looked to the blonde. "Listen, you wanna go for a walk, or a drive, if that's more comfortable?"
Dawn chimed in disgusted before Buffy could reply. "Fine, don't want delicate Dawn around to hear anything."
"No, it's not that, it's just..." Riley started, clearly not sure how to shoo Dawn away nicely.
"Sure." Buffy interjected. "Dawn, can you please set up a scoobie meeting at the Magic Box, I'm sure Xander can pick you up after work. That'll give you a chance to get some sleep before you patrol tonight." Hopefully that prospect will cool her off, long enough for me to decide what the hell I should do...
Apparently it worked because the vampire was caught off guard by the request. "Oh, you mean you want me to call and organize..." Buffy nodded to her sister. "I... I can do that, and patrol tonight...? With Spike of course."
"Yup, see if you guys can find this music demon's hiding place." Buffy smiled to her, "I'm not quite feeling up to patrol yet. Hopefully tomorrow?"
"You'll get there." Dawn was too excited by the prospect of getting to go off into the night and be given responsibilities, to care about being kept out of the loop on the whole Riley thing. Then she looked to the tall man with a scar. "I know where the shovel is, I'll tell Willow... Plus you know, fangs..." She flashed her non-sharpened teeth, "And not in the way you like. You get me?"
"Loud and clear." He confirmed before Dawn nodded and headed upstairs. "She knows about…?"
Buffy nodded. "Everyone does."
"Oh." He seemed a little surprised that all the Scoobies knew of his mis-doings. Then he directed back to the stairs Dawn had scurried up. "She's gotten pretty tough. That happen before or after Spike sunk his teeth into her?"
"Thanks for that visual." Buffy shuddered, noticing she hadn't thought too much about exactly what they had to do to 'save' Dawn's existence. "But yeah, she uh, since Mom she's done a lot of growing up."
"Of course." He acknowledged. "So walk or ride?"
"Would it be totally weird to drive to campus and go walk around there?"
"Sounds nice." Riley smiled, clearly comfortable with returning to where they started.
"Plus, slow walking is part of my physical therapy according to Dr. Tara."
"Very well." The large man opened the door. "Shall we?"
Song Credits:
"For the First Time in Forever, Reprise" from the Movie: Frozen, Lyrics and music by Kristen Anderson-Lopez and Robert Lopez - /g_b-fnr3w8I
"All you Wanted" By Michelle Branch - /AsLtN109-VA
"I Won't Say (I'm in Love)" From the Movie Hercules, Music by Alan Menken, Lyric By David Zippel - /CGoOnJ2TlJk
"Far Away" By Nickelback - /6cCiEXs9jNg