Epilogue

Lexi tucked Alea into her crib, turned, and spotted a shirtless Roman standing in the doorway. She lifted a finger to her lips, then tiptoed out of the bedroom.

"She sleeping?" Roman asked as he caught her by the waist.

"Yeah." She leaned into him and pressed a soft kiss to his lips. "Which means we have about four hours before she wakes up again."

A slow grin claimed his lips. "I'm pretty sure that will be enough time." He tucked her hair behind her ear as his smile slipped into something slightly more serious. "Are you sure you're ready?"

Lexi let out an exasperated sigh. Why was he so hesitant? "We've been over this. The doctor says I'm completely healed." She frowned. "I'm starting to get the feeling you don't want to do this."

"That's not it," Roman argued as he released her and took a step back.

"Then what? What is it, Roman?" I told you when I came back from my six week checkup that we had the green light. Yet here we are; two weeks later and still no nookie for Lexi." She folded her arms, turned and walked to the end of the hall to look out the window.

Ever since Alea's birth, she'd noticed a change in him. Yes, he was more attentive and definitely more protective, but there was something else. It was as if his passion had all but disappeared. Oh sure he'd cuddle with her in bed, but whenever she pressed him for more he pulled back. At first she assumed it was because he was trying to follow her doctor's orders of no sex for six weeks. But now she wasn't so sure.

She'd seen her stretch marks in the mirror, had traced over each one in the shower and knew she still had a slight belly from the excess baby weight she'd yet to lose. Being pregnant had definitely caused changes to her body that weren't necessarily for the better. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. "Tell me the truth, Roman. Do you no longer find me attractive?"

"What?" his voice nearly boomed from behind her. "How can you ask that? Of course I still find you attractive."

She felt him move in behind her, his arms slid around her waist, his hands settling over her belly. "Then what is it, Roman? Are you not in love with me anymore?"

He pressed a soft kiss to the nape of her neck. "I love you more now than I ever have."

Frustration bubbled just beneath the surface. This was getting her nowhere. "Then why don't you want to make love to me?"

The heaviness of his sigh had her pulling away so she could see his face. What exactly was going through that mind of his? "I want to," he finally said and broke contact yet again.

"But?" She folded her arms in challenge.

He shook his head and turned away. "I feel like such a wuss."

"Why?"

"Because I'm afraid to touch you." he said.

She froze and arched a brow. Well that certainly hadn't been what she expected him to say. "Excuse me?"

He cocked his head to the side and looked toward the ceiling as he rubbed a hand over his face. "Jesus, Lexi don't make me say it again."

"You're afraid to touch me?" she repeated, since he wouldn't. "Why?"

His attention drifted to Alea's closed door and suddenly she understood. "You're still having a hard time dealing with seeing me give birth?"

Now he scrubbed both hands over his face as he shook his head. "It's not the seeing you give birth part," Roman corrected. "It's the seeing you in so much pain part I'm struggling with. Knowing I caused it and I couldn't do anything to make it better. I don't want to do that to you again."

"You caused, it?" Lexi smirked. "You act as if I had nothing to do with conceiving Alea." She closed the distance between them, then lifted a hand to cradle his cheek. "Oh, you're good, but you ain't that good, because the last time I checked it took two to make a baby. Which means I'm just as responsible for my pain as you are."

"But-" She pressed a finger against his lips silencing his protest.

"Just stop." She grinned and shook her head. "I love you, you big idiot." Then she replaced her finger with her lips in a kiss so soft it was barely a whisper. "I'm sorry you're struggling to come to terms with this, but let's get one thing straight. There were times when I wanted her more than I wanted my next breath. You know that."

He gave a slight nod.

"And yes, I was in a lot of pain, but I'll tell you right now that I'd do it all over again if I had to. Hell, I'm hoping that in a few years I can do it all over again. Does that make me crazy? Probably." She laughed then let her smile fade as she stepped into his embrace. "But when it does happen. If it does happen, you need to know that I'll go into it with my eyes completely open and ready to take on the pain. It will be my decision to do so, right?"

"Right."

She kissed him again, then slid her hand lower and cupped him. "Until then, I think it's about time I'm rewarded for all of the selfless sacrificing I did."

"Selfless sacrificing?" Roman arched a brow even as his hand came around to cradle her ass.

"Damn right," she agreed as her fingers toyed with the stretch band of his sweatpants. "I put aside my own comfort and suffered through agony to bring our daughter into the world. Wouldn't you agree that I deserve a reward for such a magnanimous gesture?"

"You know," Roman began to nibble along her jawline. "Most women would be happy with jewelry as a reward."

"I'm not most women," she replied and wrapped her fingers around his hardening length. "I don't need jewelry or fancy things." She gave him one long stroke and was please when his entire body shuddered in response. "I just need you."

"You have me," he replied as he slid his hand beneath her nightshirt and cupped her breast. "You've always had me." He leaned forward and captured her lips for a passionate kiss. "And you always will."

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Merry Christmas!

Sienna