His frenemy long gone with the delcaration of independance, Bean began to walk out of the white house, or whereve the declaration had been stored. As he calmyly strode passed the Lincoln memorial, frantic men in black chased after him, firing burst rounds from AK's into his back. He shrugged them off. One MIB fired a rocket launcher. Bean didnt even turn to look as he grabbed the rocket with an oustrecthed hand, and crushed it with a mighte grip. The men in black were impressed as balls.
Bean turned, faced his assailants. He slowly... pensively raised a pear of badass sunglasses to his eyes. They glimmered like anime.
And then he punched the earth so hard that he propelled his body all the way to the moon.
Benjamin "the jammin' man" Franklin "funklin" awoke with a start. Something really badass was echoing through time and space, causing some unpleasant heart palpitations in our nations founder. Either that or the years of alcoholism. Or maybe he had the scurvy.
Can you get scurvy from sleeping with piles of french women? thought the heavily-jowled historical figure.
"What's the matter, baby?" said the jenga pile of prostitutes that Funklin had fallen asleep on.
"Nothing.." responded the tru funk master of the planet. "I just need to get some air... and buy some limes."
the man who wrote the declaration of independance stepped outside. The moon was bright and full. It is a good night for werewolves he thought as he began to climb to the roof of his mansion. Mayhaps a full-moon barry-sax jazz solo will calm my nerves.
Once atop the roof, he whipped out his saxiphone and layed out some hauntingly jazzy beats, silhoutted in the large ominous moon.
But just as the inventor of electricity had begun his sick rooftop jam session, his latent psychic powers began to manifest.
"Someone is going to steal the declaration of independence. I will need to guide them."
He toiled for years. He built a machine that could challenge a god. A giant metal man. Powered by a shard of the liberty bell and armed with bazooka shoulderpads, and a giant barry saxiphone sound cannon capable of leveling an entire city, he cristend the death machine "Mega Zeit Geglor: the Holy Machine"
"God is ded" he said in awe, quoteing the famous philosipher, aristotle. "So I built a robot one"
And so he buried this metal god, deep inside a golden temple deep in the earth. And he hid the door, and marked the entrance on a map.. a map that would lead to the salvation of all mankind... scribbled on the back of the declaration of independance!
Meanwhile, hundreds of years later at a moon base with a big skull shaped door, a sharp noise rang out.
"Someone ist yet knocking, m'lord." said a jester or servant to the castle's mysterious master.
"I know" answered a voice as deep and gravelly as as a grand canyon full of gravel.
"The deathless one has come."