I'm Missing You

Everything seems to be falling apart for the guy formerly known as Desarm, when his love decides to focus on running her father's company and leaves Japan for America. But is that all that's keeping Hitomiko Kira there? Hitomiko and Saginuma centric.

Disclaimer: I don't own Inazuma Eleven or any of the characters. They are solely the property of Level 5.

Italics- for thoughts, memories, emphasis or letters/emails.

Feelings

"I love you."

"Dammit!" Hitomiko moaned, rubbing her eyes. It is 11 pm. Right now she was parked in front of her laptop, with a huge folder open on her left and a steaming mug of coffee on her right. Those words were relentlessly ringing in Hitomiko's consciousness no matter how hard she tried to not think of him. She stared down into the dark coffee in the mug. Once more, the dialogue with Saginuma ran on, as if she was involuntarily hitting the rewind button for a movie.

"I love you. What's wrong with that?"

"I made my choice."

"I don't want to see you again. Go back to Japan, please."

"Just leave! Stop making this so hard, dammit!"

Even though she said all those things, it had hurt. It hurt almost like the day she found out her brother had died. Hitomiko warily ran her hands through her hair, tousling it and then stared at the strands in her hand. Osamu used to compliment her hair by making some weird remark, like how strong and admirable it is to resist getting a new hairstyle. Her response would be to glare, then sentence him to 20 laps, but inside she'd marvel at how much she loved this emotionally uncomfortable boy who couldn't compliment to save his life.

Damn, I'm not supposed to think about him! I have work to do!

She should be studying the company's finance records but the screen blurred as her eyes grew heavy. Stupid coffee; instead of keeping her awake it was making her sleepier. Oh God, she's so tired… her eyes just couldn't stay open; temptation to sleep, too strong.

Then the loud buzz of the doorbell jolted her awake. Hitomiko swore.

Her mood soured she padded down the hallway to the door. "What the-! Who the hell would be here at this hour?" She squinted into the spy hole but all she could see were colours. Huh? She blinked and stared harder. Yep, there is nothing wrong with her eyes; she was actually seeing a whole riot of colours, as if peering through a kaleidoscope. The colours shifted and then the bell buzzed again. Cautiously, she unlocked the deadbolts, the padlocks, and the latch but left the door chain on, then eased the door open. There was a man standing outside; at least she thought it was… kinda hard to tell, what with that gigantic colourful bouquet in the way. That must have been every flower in the florist's all arranged to fan out into something resembling a peacock's tail.

Before she could ask, the man spoke first. He sounded young and for some reason his voice seemed so familiar although he spoke faltering English.

"Errr… you are Miss Hitomiko Kira?"

"Yes, I am," Hitomiko replied. She frowned at the flowers, certain that she knew who they were from. Oh, Osamu, you're killing me here!

"Okay! These are yours," and with that the bouquet was thrust into Hitomiko's surprised hands.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa! Hold on that there; I didn't say I wanted them!" The bouquet being ridiculously spread out, she had to stagger backwards, turn and then navigate blindly for a place to drop the damn thing. Then the man spoke from right behind her.

"That's too bad. Someone who really cares about you got them especially for you," the voice had suddenly switched from English to Japanese, to a voice she finally recognized.

"Hiroto!" Hitomiko couldn't believe her eyes. Here in front of her was her 'other' brother, Hiroto Kiyama, the one who is a spitting image of her real brother. The young redhead grinned. Hitomiko smiled back politely but her chest tightened in dread. It always hurt because whenever she looked at Kiyama it was like she was looking at him. She felt that this boy was so much like her brother but then he is also a completely different person; deep down she was scared that this Hiroto will replace her true brother in her heart, just like he has in Father's. But now she was more anxious of why he was here.

First Osamu, now Hiroto. Who next, Endou? She fiddled with the flowers, pretending to admire them, trying not to look at him as she struggled to think of what to say. It has been a long time since they last saw each other. Hmmm, did he get taller or something? Finally she motioned for him to sit in the living room. After subduing the bouquet into the largest (and only) vase she owned, she joined him. He had chosen to sit in the only armchair so Hitomiko plonked herself onto the sofa, sitting as far from him as reasonable. They stared at each other.

"Well…. Err, long time no see," she said lamely.

"Yeah, Big Sis. Long time... right," Hiroto replied awkwardly. There was silence. "Sooo, how are you? How have you been?" he ventured tentatively.

"I'm doing fine. Um… What about you?"

"I'm fine. Everything's fine… sort of…"

"…."

"…."

Finally she couldn't take it anymore.

"Why are you here, Hiroto?" Hitomiko was taken aback at the harsh tone in her own voice but as always she chose not to visibly acknowledge it. Hiroto answered as if he didn't notice.

"I'm really here to see a genetics specialist, but I thought I'd drop by to see how you were."

His answer stunned her. A genes specialist? What's going on?

"Why do you need to see a geneticist?"

Hiroto raised an eyebrow at the question. "Don't you remember?" he replied. "The other teams in Aliea Academy were infused with the Aliea meteorite."

Too right she remembered. The Aliea meteorite is the reason Father is in prison now, she thought bitterly. Hiroto continued, "Anyway, since we've, well actually they've been exposed to the meteorite… you know how some of the kids back home have been suffering some side effects?" Hitomiko nodded. She knew that Osamu got extremely painful headaches whenever he was really angry or depressed due to the meteorite's power. No wonder he was so bad-tempered when he was Desarm.

"Yes, I remember," she said thoughtfully.

"Well, it has gotten really bad now." Hiroto leaned forward, his face serious, his eyes locked onto her's. He held up his left hand and began counting off names. "Ryuji, IQ, Sumeragi (Maquila), Netsuha (Nepper), Segata (Zel), even Nougumo and Susano are all practically bedridden. The others weren't looking so well when I left either."

"I had heard about this doctor who's a leading expert in genetics. I figured if we could find something in their genes, whatever that was left over from the Aliea meteorite, and eliminate it, then everyone will get better. So, now I'm here." Finished, he sat back, still looking at his sister.

Hitomiko's hand flew to her mouth. "Dear Lord!" Why hadn't anyone told me? Why didn't Osamu say anything about this?

"You know," Hiroto was speaking again. "I think Saginuma finally went off the deep end." She stared at him, expression blank but surprised on the inside. She hadn't expected to hear about Saginuma, not so soon just after seeing him the other day.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, I think everything thats happened really got to him."

A chill ran down her spine. Keeping her expression composed, she asked, "What's he done?"

At this, a pained expression came over Hiroto's face. "When you left he seemed a bit off, then it got worse when Segata got sick. Saginuma appointed Genda captain of Neo Japan and left the team. Then he mopped around the house for a bit, had a ridiculous number of part-time jobs, and then one morning… he was gone. According to Segata, he just said Sayonara and left with a backpack. That must have been maybe 2 or 3 months ago and we haven't heard from him since."

Hitomiko processed this new information. It didn't make her feel too good.

"Actually, I think I might know where he is," she said.

"Of course you would," he replied wryly.

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"Well, he's in love with you," Hiroto shrugged. "It was so obvious, we could all see it."

Hitomiko's mouth fell. It was obvious! Did everyone know about us? Hiroto looked at her face and his smile faded a little.

"Look, if he has been harassing you, you need to tell me." Hitomiko stared. Did they or didn't they know about their relationship? Or perhaps they thought it was one-sided love on Saginuma's part.

"No, no, he hasn't done anything. I just saw him the other day and he seemed fine." No, actually he didn't, but she won't mention that. Hiroto's gaze was so piercing she was certain he was going to read her mind and discover what really happened. He finally looked away convinced. But now Hitomiko was confused; why did she cover for Saginuma when telling Hiroto would've gotten rid of him? All this news was too much and coming too fast. She was still mulling over the confusing feelings coursing through her when Hiroto showed up and now all this new information was giving her brain a hammering.

"Well, it's time for me to head back to the hotel," Hiroto explained apologetically as he stood up stretching. Hitomiko glanced up in surprise. She hadn't even had the decency to offer tea or anything. Hiroto waved away the suggestion with a smile. Hitomiko walked him to the door, and holding it open for him, said, "Hiroto, you know you're not in Tokyo anymore. America is more dangerous, and people might make fun of your English."

"Big Sister, did you honestly think my English is that bad?" he replied fluently in English. "Sorry, I was just messing with you that time."

Before he even got out the door Hitomiko stopped him with another question. "Hiroto, if you see Saginuma, please tell him to look after himself." He raised an eyebrow.

"I think you should look after yourself more, Big Sis," Hiroto replied. He was finally outside before Hitomiko could even reply. Quietly she shut the door.

Alone again, Hitomiko padded over to the table and shut down the laptop. She poured away the cold coffee, and then went back to the sofa. She sat down and drew her knees to chest. There were all these confusing feelings coursing through her. Her feelings for Saginuma for instance. The distance and circumstances had not cooled them at all but at least they were manageable. Then he shows up in the flesh and causes them to go haywire; She loves him but needs to stay away from him; she's angry he came but sort of pleased he's here; seriously pissed but happy… Her feelings made absolutely no sense, they were just plain confusing. But one thing was clear: if even anything about her and Saginuma was revealed, even if she had tried to sever all ties, she will lose Father's company.

She imagined the scandalized faces of the Board directors if any of their spies reported it, making it out as a disreputable business; they can't have any more scandals now, can they... Then their barely disguised glee as the company is taken away for her and shared up amongst them like a pie. She buried her face into her knees, moaning. What should I do?

Outside, it started to rain.

Meanwhile, Hiroto had reached the lobby and was out on the street. Immediately Saginuma materialized by his side, startling him.

"Jeez, man, stop appearing so ninja-like like that!"

Saginuma ignored that. "Well, is she alright? Did she seem fine to you? Did you give her the flowers?" Hiroto did not answer. Instead he waved down a taxi and held the door open for his friend. He only spoke once they were in it and heading to their hotel.

"You were right, she looked terrible. She must be working day and night." Hiroto glanced at Saginuma's face, partly in shadow and turned away, watching the raindrops hit his window. "You look pretty rough yourself."

The older boy shook his head. "I'm not running a major weapons research and development company…. I'm fine."

Hiroto pursed his lips but kept silent. Saginuma did not look fine at all. Hitomiko had looked like a mess as well. For Pete's sake, why do they have to go through so much drama? It looks so exhausting!

"She did seem a little worried for you… asked that you at least try to look after yourself better."

"Really?"

"Yes. Please take her advice."

The rest of the ride went by quietly, the both of them in their own thoughts as they sped through the glittering city.

Yes, I am alive and I have returned! As usual, all reviews and advice are welcome .