Chapter 13: Assert Yourself

Lavender hummed prettily as she stirred on the couch, waking slowly only to find Ron Weasley staring down at her, studying her with an almost anxious expression. Remembering where she was, she sat up, blinking blearily and giving him a bashful smile.

"Good morning."

"Morning." Ron had barely said this before launching right into it. "Lavender, I want to apologize."

"For what?" she smiled brightly. "After all, nothing happened."

"Really?" Ron asked, and it was clear from his frown how much he was hung-over. "Always the tone of surprise…" he muttered half to himself.

"What was that?"

"Oh, nothing – something Hermione always says."

Lavender bit her lip in sympathy, but if Ron was going to get as emotional as he did last night, nothing was forthcoming.

"I want to apologize for not being there for you, the other night." Lavender frowned in bemusement. "The other night was a full moon night, correct?"

Lavender nodded, the furrowed expression on her face deepening. "Yes….."

"Well, I just wanted to say I'm sorry that I wasn't there to help you."

Lavender smiled. Coming from anyone else, she might have felt offended by what sounded like pity, but coming from Ron, it was sweet. "Ron, I'm a big girl. I've been dealing with changes at the full moon for twenty-five years."

Ron nodded. "How….?" he faltered, tried again. "How do you? Deal with it?"

Lavender's blue eyes took him in, and a kind of thrill overcame her. No one except for Seamus, her ex-husband, had ever bothered to ask her that before. That someone like Ron wanted to know, to learn, felt incredibly empowering. She was almost tempted to….

She shook her head. Let the moment pass. Just in time, too, for right at that moment, someone came bursting into the house without knocking.

Ron pulled out his wand as the sound of footsteps approached from the foyer, and Lavender murmured to him, "Ask me again sometime." He nodded in acknowledgement that he had heard her, in the second before Teddy Lupin emerged in the sitting room.

"Madame Minis…?" His voice trailed off upon taking in Ron and Lavender.

"Oh, it's you, Ted."

"Wotcher, Uncle Ron. Where's the Min – Hermione?" Teddy's turquoise eyes that usually matched his hair swiveled to ponder Lavender Brown. "And who is this?" An edge of suspicion was creeping into the young man's voice.

"Nothing!" Ron leapt to his own defense, perhaps a bit too quickly. "This is nothing!"

"Uncle Ron!" Teddy cried, sounding appalled and disappointed. "You're doing this while the Minister for Magic is still in the house?! I understood from Rosie how you were separated, but that doesn't…."

"Nothing happened!" Ron stressed firmly. "OK? This is just an old friend."

"Hi, I'm Lavender," Lavender squirted around Ron, holding out a hand for Teddy to shake. "It's nice to meet you."

Teddy's expression softened slightly, followed by a flash of recognition. "Oh. Oh, you're….!" His voice trailed off. "Never mind. Uncle Ron, is Hermione here?"

Ron frowned. "No. She never came home last night. Must have been working late."

Teddy's eyes widened in concern. "You mean she never….?" He shook his head, lifting up two bags of take-away. "I thought I'd come round with a spot of breakfast, and we'd head to work together. But if she…." He was shaking his head and muttering darkly. "If she spent all bloody night in that office…."

Ron, too, was concerned, though he couldn't exactly blame Hermione for wanting to avoid him, giving what she was feeling. "When did you leave the Ministry last night, Ted?"

"It was more like she kicked me out, about half past eleven. I get all the way home before I remembered I forgot to present her with the evening post. I double back at about a quarter to one, and she was still there!"

Ron tssked. "Teddy, I know she's your boss, but you have got to bloody learn how to assert yourself! You're her employee, and you have the right to tell her when she's…." He shook his head. "Staying up at all hours, never leaving her office – it's not healthy, no matter what she and I might be going through." He took a long exhale. "Well, come on, you lot! Spit spot!"

"Where are we going?" Lavender shouldered her purse.

"To pay a call on the Minister for Magic. You wanted an appointment with her, right?"

Teddy, grinning, was already pulling out a small datebook. "What time would you prefer, miss? I have a 10 o'clock available!"

Ron led the way to the Ministry of Magic. When they entered the Minister's office, Hermione was still at her desk. Teddy now looked deeply concerned.

"She was wearing that when I left last night! Did she ruddy sleep in her chair….?!"

Ron shushed him. "Morning, love."

Hermione lifted her head, and from the heaviness around her eyelids, Ron hoped he hadn't actually woken her up. "Oh. Morning, Ron." Then her gaze shifted to the side and she stilled. Slowly, her face lifted into a surprised grin. "Lavender?"

Lavender flushed. "It's been too long, Hermione."

"I should say it has!" Hermione laughed, leaping out of her chair and rounding her desk to embrace the other woman, much to Lavender's flummoxed shock. "Ron told me how you and he had crossed paths…"

"Yes, and um…. thank you for the phone call. I'm sorry it's such short notice, but I was hoping we could discuss about employment benefits, perhaps some occupational…."

At Hermione's look, Teddy smiled. "Your 10 o'clock, ma'am, booked. Last minute, I'm afraid."

"No, no, that's quite all right, Ted. And Lavender, of course, I can get you the materials straightaway!" Hermione slapped around her mountain of a desk, searching for the files. "I apologize that we'll have to make this shorter than I would like, but I have a 10:30 on the books…."

"Ah, yes…." Teddy muttered, leafing through his datebook. "And at eleven, I have you down for a nap, followed by taking a kipper at noon…" Ron wondered whether or not Harry's godson was joking. As for Hermione, she appeared not to have heard her assistant.

Lavender shyly sat down in the seat across from Hermione and the two women began chatting as though they were old mates. Smirking in amusement, Ron leaned into Ted.

"Sure you can't move back her 10:30? This could be a while."

"And have her miss her nap? Not on your life," Teddy growled.

Ron was almost tempted to grab for the little black datebook and check for himself if Teddy had actually written the word 'NAP' in it, but Teddy grabbed his elbow and politely showed him out.

The men closed the door behind them and stood out in the hall. Seeing Teddy's miffed expression, Ron chuckled and patted him on the shoulder. "Keep at it, mate. Remember: you have a right to assert yourself. Speak up! If there's one thing I've learned from being with that woman, it's that you have to be loud to hear yourself over her hyperactive brain!"

Teddy nodded slowly.

Ron loitered for a bit, asking after Victoire. Today was supposed to be a slow day for the Auror Department anyhow; if Harry needed him, he would come fetch him.

It was nearing half past when a rather large man in a bearskin coat came plodding down the hall.

"Good morning. I am looking for the Minister for Magic's office?" The gentleman's voice was accented, a deep baritone.

Ron lifted himself out of his conversation with Teddy, glanced at the gentleman…. Then did a double take.

"Oh, no….." he moaned. "Not you….. Please tell me you're not her 10:30!" He rounded on Teddy. "Is he her 10:30?" Annoyingly, Teddy had to flip through the stupid little book just to make sure.

Viktor Krum chuckled. "Zdraviete, Ronald. It's been too long."

"Not long enough," Ron muttered, barely keeping his tone at something that could be construed as politely dry.

"Ah!" Teddy had finally double-checked the appointment in that stupid little book. "Ambassador Krum, I presume?"

Viktor held out a hand the size of a trash-can lid and shook Teddy's palm enthusiastically. "I have heard of you, from Hermy-o-ninny…."

"Thirty years, and he still can't get her name right," Ron muttered, not quite under his breath.

It was unclear whether or not Viktor heard him. "…. Young Master Lupin, is it?"

"Indeed, Ambassador!" Teddy flushed.

"You vouldn't be the same little Lupin vho vas the ring bearer at Hermy-own's wedding?"

"You ver – were," Ron caught himself. "…. only invited because Hermione insisted…." Viktor still ignored him.

Teddy flushed. "The very same, sir."

"Tell me, young man: how old are you now?"

"Blimey! I'll be going on 27 this spring! Married now myself, actually, to his niece, in fact!"

"My goodness!" Viktor turned back to Ron, as if just remembering the other man was there. "Isn't that something, Ronald?"

Ron pursed his lips in a strained grin. "It's something!"

The door suddenly opened and Lavender and Hermione came gliding out, chittering like two sisters. To Ron' shock, Lavender wrapped his wife in a hug, murmuring something the men couldn't hear. Hermione smiled back weakly.

"Hermione!" Viktor swept forward, all dash and smiles.

"And for once, he gets her name correct!" Ron grumbled. It was clear from how her expression flickered that Hermione had heard him, but she set it aside in favor of smiling at her old Yule Ball date. Ron was horrified to think that he saw her blushing. "Viktor…"

Viktor took Hermione's hand and kissed it. "Enchante, Madame Minister."

"Oh….. so he's French now?" Ron marveled. "Or have you been taking lessons from my sister-in-law?"

"Ronald, please…" Hermione chided as softly as she dared.

"I have, in fact, been learning lessons from Fleur. She is very good," Viktor called back over his shoulder to his one-time rival. He fixed Hermione with a winning smile. "Hermy-own, vhy don't ve discuss our matters in your office?" The bastard even offered Hermione his arm and escorted her in.

As soon as the door shut behind them, Ron made a noise akin to an angry goat. "He might as well have said, 'discuss our affairs in your office.' – then gotten right to affairs by taking her over her desk!" At this, Teddy jerked, blushing beet red, appalled.

"Ronald!" Lavender gasped. "Have a little more faith in your wife than that!" Ron flinched at this, remembering painfully that it wouldn't be long before he could call Hermione his wife anymore.

"He just shows up here, perfect timing, ready to sweep in and pick up the pieces…"

"That's enough!" Lavender looped her arm through his. "It's just business. Come on: I want you to show me your office!" And she tugged Ron down the hall, the pair arm in arm, leaving poor Teddy in the lurch.

"…. I'll just wait out here!" the poor assistant called out lamely, to an empty hallway.

When he heard the rush of green flames, Harry leapt to his feet in excitement. He checked to make sure his office door was locked and warded. The second that Luna stepped out of his office Floo, the Chosen One gathered the beautiful Ravenclaw in his arms and kissed her.

As the couple embraced, they quickly became involved, and Luna assertively pushed Harry into his desk chair and hiked her legs over his hips to straddle him.

"The….. the boys are back at home, watching telly; I don't have much time…."

Harry murmured something unintelligible as his fingers finally worked the buttons of Luna's shirt free so that the fabric parted like curtains, whereupon he plunged his face into the swell, and then the valley, of her breasts, slobbering on and nearly swallowing her boobs. Luna giggled. "Harry! Mind my tits!"

"Why?" Harry lifted his face to grin at her saucily. "I quite like them. They're lovely tits!"

Luna smiled brightly, her silver eyes twinkling. "They have names, you know."

Harry groaned lustily, diving back in to feast on her. "Oh, do tell!"

Luna smirked. "This left one is called Lorcan, and the right one is called Lysander."

Harry froze, lifting his face out of her flowers. "You mean….. you nursed your boys by giving them assigned breasts?!"

Luna shrugged. "It was quite an ingenious system, actually. I've never felt so sore in my life than when I was pumping!"

Harry grinned. "You clever, clever girl…." And he dived in to capture her lips in a kiss. Her mouth curling along his into a smile, Luna threw her arms around his neck and deepened the kiss when suddenly….

"What the….. blooming….? This door is…." There was a muffle grunt in the second before a loud BANG! as the person on the other side counteracted Harry's wards with a powerful curse. The door flung open, knocked nearly off its hinges to reveal Ron and Lavender in the archway. Harry and Luna jerked apart sharply, their arms still around each other and the widow Scamander still bouncing in Harry's lap.

Ron's jaw dropped. "Oi! What the ruddy sodding hell is this?!"

Harry eyed Luna's bare breasts jiggling in his face. "….. Lunch," he muttered sheepishly.

Ron threw up his hands. "I know that Gin betrayed…." He growled. "Mate, I can't believe you! When did this happen…?"

"A couple of nights ago," Luna purred breezily. If she had been startled by her lover's brother-in-law walking in on them shagging, she didn't show it, her signature serenity back in her expression. "Hullo, Ronald."

"And a bloody damn good morning to you!" Ron barked at her, sharply and somewhat rudely. Lavender lightly touched his arm.

"Ron: let's just…." She backed them both out of the office, awkwardly reaching to pull the door to. "Erm…. Nice to see you again, Luna! Uh…. carry on!"

The door rattled shut. Luna and Harry looked at each other, the beautiful Ravenclaw starting to rise out of his lap with remarkable poise.

"I suppose I should be getting back; check on the boys…" her voice trailed off into a yelp when Harry simply tugged her back into his lap and kissed her passionately.

The lovers didn't stop snogging for thirty minutes.

It was late that night, and Hermione was once again burning the midnight oil at both ends. Noticing her assistant hovering, she waved him off.

"For Merlin's sake, Teddy, go home! Victoire's waiting up for you!"

To her shock, she heard his desk rattle as Teddy angrily threw something down onto it. "That does it! I know you don't want to hear this, woman, but for once in your life, you ought to take your own advice!"

Hermione lifted her head up out of her papers in surprise. "…. Teddy?..."

"I hate leaving you here like this, night after night! I hate seeing you like this!: crying, not sleeping – when was the last time you even slept in your own bed?"

"Teddy…." Hermione grinned softly, starting to approach his desk.

"NO! I don't think you understand! It hurts me to see you like this! I serve the Minister for Magic, at her pleasure, and to me, that means I serve all her needs, up to, including and especially her state of health!" Teddy was breathing hard, red in the face with frustration. "Uncle Ron told me I needed to bloody assert myself, and I'm ruddy well going to do it, because damnit, I lo-" His voice abruptly trailed off. He was staring down his boss intently, Hermione peering at him in bewilderment. "Hermione…."

And then Teddy suddenly pulled Hermione close and kissed her furiously on the mouth.

"Mmmmmm!" Hermione squeaked into her assistant's slanting lips, her brown eyes popping in complete and utter astonishment. She was frozen in his embrace, enough that Teddy moved in to deepen the kiss. The lad's hands wandered, and when he amorously dared to caress, touch her bum, cup her through her business skirt, Hermione finally made a noise in the back of her throat and seized Teddy's wrist, firmly moving his palm back up.

The Minister for Magic finally jerked free, rendered completely and utterly speechless. For a long moment, she and her assistant stared at each other, Teddy breathing hard and looking far too pleased with himself.

His pride was wiped from his face in the next instant when Hermione stated, "I could have you fired for harassment."

At this, Teddy's face crumpled as the full implications of what he had just done crashed over him. "Oh…. Oh, Merlin, Madame Minister, I am so sorry! I – I lost my head!"

Hermione let out a small noise. "You did at that!"

Teddy now looked near tears, and she actually felt pity for the lad. Hermione sighed.

"How long?" she crooned, almost tenderly. Teddy wouldn't look at her.

"Reckon I can't pinpoint a date, exactly."

"What, you didn't mark it down in that little appointment notebook of yours?" she teased. Teddy let out a shuddering laugh that may have also been a sob, shaking his head.

"We've been busting our arses trying to secure your legacy, and…. and I'm…. I'm worried about you. Worried about myself, wanting to provide for… for Victoire… We hardly ever see each other outside of the evenings, she and I – we're never around each other anymore! You can't imagine how hard she is working at Madame Malkin's!"

Hermione smiled kindly. Teddy noticed and studied her, warily. "For someone who could reasonably argue she was just sexually assaulted, you're taking this remarkably well."

Hermione pursed her lips, still tingling from his kiss, in thought. "Teddy:" she finally spoke. "I'll be fine. You're…. you're young! Marriages go through rough patches all the time. Merlin only knows Ron and mine did!" Her voice trailed off slightly, half to herself. "Maybe those moments should have been telling me something…." She shook her head to clear it, and smiled at her assistant. "I admire Ron for advising you to speak up for yourself, but I'm pretty sure this is not what he meant!" Teddy hung his head, shame-faced, and she lifted his chin with her finger, peering at him. "If you feel you have to speak up to anybody, it should be your wife. Talk to Victoire. If you guys really want to work this out, she'll listen and meet you halfway."

Teddy nodded. "What about you?"

"I'll be fine…"

"Not if you keep going the same way you're going!"

Hermione nodded, conceding the point. "You're right. From now on, if I'm not taking care of myself, you tell me – preferably in ways that don't involve you snogging the living daylights out of me!"

Teddy winced. "So…. you're not going to fire me? Hell, press charges?"

Hermione tortured him for only a moment as she took a beat to think about it. "No. But only if you promise that what just happened never happens again, never leaves this office, and that we never speak of it again."

Teddy nodded eagerly, looking like a bobblehead toy. Hermione grinned. "You're forgiven," she murmured, drifting in and giving him a platonic peck on the cheek. Teddy jerked sharply and blushed. He awkwardly gathered his coat and moved towards the door.

"Are you coming?"

Hermione smirked. "I will leave the office in ten minutes sharp. I promise."

"I'm holding you to that," Teddy pointed at her.

Hermione smiled, and just to prove her intentions, she waved her wand and an Alarm Charm began to tick down generated numbers that now floated above her head. "Merlin's honor!"

Teddy closed the door behind him. As soon as he was gone, Hermione felt her feet give out from under her. She ran her tongue out over her lips where Teddy had kissed her. Shaking her head, the Minister for Magic let out an amazed little laugh.

Hopefully, one day, she and Teddy both could look back on this night and laugh. For now, she would merely ponder and marvel at how young, married men could develop a crush at any age.