A/N

Thanks to all my readers for your support, and special thanks to everyone who reviewed!

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2. What Hope Is There for Loki?

As Lady Sif and Thor walked toward Heimdall, Sif had not a sliver of doubt in her mind about what they would soon learn. Even so, this visit was something that had to be done. Thor was in such a state of denial about Loki's injuries that hearing the truth from the all-seeing Gatekeeper personally was perhaps the only way to convince him. Otherwise the Prince might keep insisting that there had been some sort of misunderstanding.

Sif had volunteered to accompany Thor on this quest, but not because she, too, needed to find answers. She was here because Thor would need a friend by his side when he learned the truth.

Also, as difficult as it was to comprehend, in his current state Thor was vulnerable. This had not really occurred to Sif or any of the Warriors Three upon embarking on their journey to Midgard. They had not stopped to consider what it exactly meant that Thor had been made mortal.

Perhaps, and Sif hated herself for even thinking this way, it would have been safer if we had left Thor out of this all together. What if Loki had wanted a fight? Thor could have gotten hurt, or maybe even died!

She physically shook her head at that. There was no point thinking in such a way. She and the other warriors had done the right thing and that was that. Bringing Thor back was the only way to ensure the safety of Asgard. Besides, mortal or not, Thor was no damsel and would have no use nor appreciation for being treated like one.

And still, even now Sif found it hard to truly comprehend how differently the confrontation had gone from the way she had only hours ago been absolutely convinced it would go. On the moment Sif had seen Loki on the throne it had been crystal clear to her that Asgard was in immediate danger. With Thor gone and Odin unavailable, it was up to her and her comrades to save the day.

And then… this had happened. Which didn't make any sense at all. Which meant it had to be a trick. Somehow. But for the life of her Sif could not figure out what Loki's big, devious plan behind a remains-to-be-seen-how-succesful suicide attempt was.

It made sense for the coward to, upon realizing his inevitable defeat, resort to playing every dirty trick he could think of in an attempt to distract people from his guilt. In that light, a suicide attempt was a low blow even coming from Loki, but still something that made sense.

However, it was clear to anyone who had bared witness to the scene in the gardens that there had been nothing halfhearted about Loki's attempt, and that was just plain puzzling. This did not fit at all in any of Loki's plans. How could any plot for ultimate dominion over Asgard be fulfilled from the afterlife?

Maybe, she thought to herself, maybe Loki really is crazy.

"Heimdall", Thor demanded to be acknowledged. Even while wearing Midgardian clothing covered in blood, Thor managed to stand tall and regal. A born-to-be king. "My brother has been wounded and I wish to know by whose hand."

Heimdall, his face as calm as though they were discussing the weather, replied: "By his own, my Prince."

"What?!" Thor exclaimed. "That is impossible. Your eyes deceive you."

For a moment Heimdall's gaze met Thor's, but soon it shifted back to admire Norns-only-knew what. "After you left my observatory I kept a close eye on Loki. There is no mistake. The injuries Loki now suffers from he inflicted on himself."

Thor exhaled loudly, lost for words. Sif put her hand on her friend's shoulder. Thor was a good brother, a better one than Loki deserved. This would not be easy on him.

"Then why in the Nine Realms did you not stop it?!" Thor shouted, suddenly all thunder and lighting under his desperation.

"My place is here, guarding the realm." The Gatekeeper explained calmly.

An odd thought struck Sif, as she reflected on what Heimdall was saying ,and what he was leaving unsaid. It was true that the Guardian's place was here, at his observatory, but that did not mean Heimdall couldn't, or wouldn't leave it, if need be.

In fact, only hours before, Heimdall had proven himself not only aware of the loopholes in his job description, but also more than willing to exploit those loopholes whenever they suited his purposes. The Gatekeeper was not allowed to open the Bifrost for Sif and the Warriors Three, but he had also made no attempts to stop them going. Heimdall had even left them with means to operate the bridge themselves. Sif decided to keep her thoughts to herself for now.

"You could have send for someone! You could have send word to us!" Thor insisted, but even his resolve was wavering.

"You were already on your way. No message would have reached you in time to make a difference", Heimdall stated.

"Why?" Thor's tone was suddenly quiet. "Why would my brother do this?"

"I can only see what happens, not into the minds of men."

"But you have been keeping an eye on him, yes? Surely you have a better idea than we do. What has brought upon this madness? You must know something", Thor's ire was on the rise again.

Heimdall's gaze shifted a bit, not to look at them, but to see something else, quite possibly the past.

"Loki was your king", Thor continued, clearly struck by a sudden moment of insight. "You must have kept your eye on him! So tell me what you saw that explains this!"

Sif was glad she was not in the Guardian's shoes right now. Thor may have said he came here for answers, but really the Prince was looking for someone to blame. Heimdall had not been able to give Thor another target for his frustration, and was now facing the full consequences of that. Mortal or not, the wrath of Thor could be almost as unnerving as the wrath of the Allfather.

"I saw nothing that would have led me to believe this was what Loki was planning to do. Though…" Heimdall hesitated, and Thor made a noise urging him to go on. "There were brief moments during his reign when I could not see Loki. Longest of them being that I could see nothing of what transpired while Loki was meeting the Jotun King."

"Loki went back to Jotunheim?" Sif blurted out, astonished that the Gatekeeper had deemed to keep that piece of information to himself even though they had all been conspiring together against Loki. On the other hand, Heimdall usually shared very little of what he saw unless he was directly asked. "When?"

"He went alone not long after the Allfather had succumbed to the Odinsleep. My presumption is that he went to meet King Laufey, for Loki asked to be dropped off near the palace. However, during the whole time he was there, I could not see what was going on in Jotunheim."

"My brother left to negotiate with the Jotun?" Thor asked, clearly confused. "That was very dangerous! And you let him go alone?"

"He was my king. I was following orders."

Thor looked around himself, obviously putting together what he had just learned. One could almost see how the pieces clicked in place, and Thor's glare turned murderous. "To Jotunheim, you say? That cannot be a coincidence. I am beginning to think it is the Jotun who are to be blamed. Perhaps I should pay them another visit."

Here we go again. Sif took several strides forward in case she would have to physically stop Thor from doing anything this foolish.

To Sif's enormous relief, Heimdall was of the same mind. "I will not let you go to Jotunheim", the Guardian stated.

Thor's eyes narrowed. "You let me go there once already. And you let my brother go there all by himself."

Heimdall did not answer in any way, but merely kept looking past them. Sif took that as her cue. "Thor, you must see that you cannot go to Jotunheim. Not like this, not as a mortal. We are at war. They would skin you alive if you gave them the chance. You must see that."

What she really wanted to say was that whatever reason Loki had had for doing what he did, the Jotun likely played no part in it. Thankfully, saying that wasn't necessary. She could see in Thor's eyes that he knew going to Jotunheim was out of question.

"We should get back to the palace", Sif went on, looking to Heimdall to see if he had anything more to add. The Guardian did not appear inclined to keep up the conversation, so Sif squeezed Thor's arm. "Your mother would want to see you, I'm sure."

ooo

"Where is he?" insisted a voice from the doorway of the recuperation room.

"My Queen", Fandral got up from the sofa and bowed quickly before clarifying. "You mean where is…?"

"Where is Loki, my son", Frigga looked very serious, her usual kindness replaced by sadness and determination.

"The healers are still working on him, My Queen", Volstagg, who too was on his feet now, provided. "They have requested that no one enter, so they may focus on healing Loki."

"How bad is it?" Frigga's voice wavered slightly.

The Warriors Three exchanged nervous glances. It didn't feel quite right that they were the ones to deliver this kind of news, but there really was no one else to delegate the responsibility to.

As Volstagg looked into Frigga's worried, grief-filled eyes, the situation with Loki finally became real to him. He had, of course, been shocked to find their friend in such a state, and naturally he had worried, but only now it occurred to Volstagg that this wasn't just about Loki.

Unlike the other warriors, Volstagg had children of his own. If one of them was ever seriously hurt, or even worse, hurt himself, Volstagg had no idea what he would do. But, the stocky warrior figured that if he were in Frigga's position, he would appreciate honesty. Frigga may have been the queen of a realm, but she was here as a mother.

"It is bad", Volstagg grumbled, unable to lift his gaze. "Four deep cuts to the midsection. We brought him here as quickly as we could, but he had lost a lot of blood."

Volstagg took in a deep breath and finally met Frigga's eyes. "The healers are doing everything they can, but… but the situation is not yet certain."

Frigga seated herself and nodded once. "And Thor?"

"He's gone to speak to Heimdall", Fandral provided. "He should be back any moment."

She nodded again, and then asked the inevitable question Volstagg had fretted the most. "What happened?"

Volstagg had no good answers to that, but he had to say something regardless. "We… we don't know. We found him in the gardens the way he was. We don't know what happened."

"The gardens?" Frigga looked devastated beyond words. After Volstagg nodded, she fell into a silence, her thoughts realms away, it seemed.

Suddenly, Hogun stepped forward. Without a word, he offered Gungir to the Queen. Volstagg had truly forgotten about the staff, but apparently Hogun had held onto it on Thor's behest.

For a fraction of a second, Frigga only stared at the artifact, but then her face hardened and as she took the staff, nodding her thanks.

Volstagg gave his grim friend a side-ways look. How was now an appropriate time for such silly formalities?! Could Hogun not see Frigga was in pain, and that reminding her about how she was the only one of her family left to sit on the throne was hardly productive, let alone comforting?

Hogun met his friend's glare unapologetically, causing Volstagg to eventually give up and simply shake his head. Oh boy, how did everything get so tangled?

ooo

"Mother."

"Thor!" Frigga hurried to hug her son.

Thor felt his eyes water up again as he embraced his mother. He lifted his gaze to look over Frigga's shoulder. "Any word on Loki?"

All three warriors shook their heads.

Frigga took a step back to take a good look at her eldest. Her eyes, too, shimmered with tears she forbade herself to shed.

It only now occurred to Thor what an upsetting sight he must be in his current state, covered in Loki's blood. Thor cursed inertly for having lacked the foresight to change clothing. Or at least wash his hands.

"Mother", Thor repeated, but the rest of the words he needed to say were stuck in his throat. What is going on? Why would he do this? I'm sorry.

Thor could only hope his deep, sad eyes conveyed all that he felt, but could not put in words. Thor had never had a way with words. Not like his brother did.

Frigga put her hand on Thor's face, and wiped away the tears with her thumb. "I know", was all she said. She quickly hugged him again before guiding him to sit next to her by the central fire.

They waited in silence, Thor holding her mother's hands in his.

Finally, the door to the healing rooms opened.

Thor was immediately on his feet, as was Frigga.

"How is he?" Thor asked, his mouth dry.

The head healer, a grey-haired woman, answered: "Prince Loki is no longer in immediate danger. His condition is still severe, but he is stable. Although it will take time, we expect him to make a full recovery."

Thor released a breath he hadn't realized he'd been holding. He turned to his mother and squeezed her hand harder. She responded with a weak but heart-felt smile.

"What Loki needs most right now is time to recuperate, so we have placed him in a healing trance", the healer went on. "He will not awaken for a few more days, but, should you like to, you are free to go see him now."

Frigga thanked the healer, and then turned to thank the Warriors Three and Sif for their help and support, not very subtly cueing them to leave. The warriors bowed and made their exit.

Thor trusted his friends and took comfort in their company, but at that moment, he was not sorry to see them go. This was between family, and Thor needed to have a word with his mother in private.

She deserves to know the truth, but how do I tell her what really happened?

The head healer guided Thor and Frigga into the healing rooms, and through them into a smaller side room. In that room was a large bed, and on it lay Loki.

Thor hurried to sit by his brother's side, and took his hand.

Loki looked… better. He was still unnaturally pale, but in clean clothes and lying under soft covers, he looked comfortable. Perhaps even peaceful. Come to think of it, Thor could not recall when he had last seen Loki's face so serene, without any worry or tension shrouding it.

Although Thor knew very little about magic, from what he could understand, a healing trance was not unlike the Odinsleep.

"Can he hear us?" Thor turned to ask the healer, who had been on her way out.

"No, he is unconscious. Asleep", the woman assured him. "Prince Loki is not in any pain, nor should he have any dreams." Stopping just outside the door, the healer added: "If you need anything, I will be in the other room."

Thor nodded, and the healer closed the door, leaving them alone with Loki.

"Oh, my poor child", Frigga sobbed, seated herself on the other side of the bed, and cupped Loki's face in her hands.

Thor swallowed back tears. It had been many years since he had seen Frigga this upset. Their mother could appear reserved and composed under almost any circumstances, but that did not mean she didn't feel just as strongly as any mother. Maybe even more so.

Despite what the healer had told him, Thor kept his hold on Loki's hand; just in case his brother could sense his presence after all. Mostly though, the gesture was for Thor's own comfort. After coming so close to loosing his little brother, Thor needed something concrete to hold onto to, to be sure that Loki was still here. That this wasn't just a dream or one of his brother's doppelgängers.

Thor looked to his mother. There was so much he needed to say, so much she needed to, deserved to know, but he didn't have the words. Still, Thor had to try. "I went to see Heimdall."

Frigga nodded and turned her eyes to him. Thor swallowed and cleared his voice. He looked back at Loki, mostly to have an excuse to not look at his mother. "He… he said that…"

"That Loki did this to himself", Frigga completed for him.

Thor's eyes widened, and he turned to look at his mother again. "How did you...?"

Frigga shook her head. "I didn't, at first, but I'm not blind. I could tell there was more going on than anyone would tell me. I only knew for certain after I saw the look on your face."

She looked very sad and tired. "I didn't know. Before. How could my baby have been in so much pain, and I didn't know?"

Fresh tears ran down her face. Thor got up and walked around the bed to Frigga's side and embraced her gently. His mother cried quietly, but also leaned into the hug. They sat by Loki's bedside like until Frigga pulled away.

She dried her remaining tears on the sleeve of her golden gown, and returned to stroking Loki's hair. Thor wondered if he should also tell her about Loki's involvement in letting the Jotun into Asgard, or about Thor's own suspicions towards the King of the Frost Giants, but in a rare moment of tact he decided it could wait. Now was hardly the time to start accusing his brother of anything, no matter how serious the crime. And now, with his head cooled down, even Thor could see that arbitrarily accusing and attacking other realms was no way to solve anything.

"We will get through this." Frigga suddenly spoke up, her voice unwavering as steal. "I know the situation appears dire now, but no one is dead yet, and where there is life there is also hope. Together, as a family, we will get through this."

While Frigga spoke she turned to Thor. The Thunderer feared his voice would betray him, so he simply nodded to acknowledge that he had heard and understood.

"Your brother needs us right now. All of us." Frigga reached to take Thor's hand and squeezed it firmly. "My son, you must promise me that you will try to help him. No matter what happens now, no matter how things might change, Loki is your brother. Nothing will ever change that."

The intensity of Frigga's request was such that Thor did not dare argue with her about the strangeness of it, and he settled for another nod. Internally, Thor wondered why his mother would feel the need to ask such a thing in the first place. Of course Thor would do anything and everything he could to keep his brother safe. That went without saying. However, now that he was thinking about it, there were other matters that weren't as clear.

"I want to help Loki any way I can", Thor assured her. "But I'm not certain I am allowed to remain in Asgard. The Warriors Three and Sif retrieved me before my banishment was over because they had noticed Loki acting strangely, and Heimdall let me return to set things right, but technically, I am still banished. Once father awakens, he might send…"

"Once your father awakens, I will have a word with him." Frigga said, so determined it was almost intimidating. "This is no longer a decision Odin gets to make alone as a king. This is not about politics, or the safety of the realm, or even about a father teaching his son a lesson. I have come too close to loosing both of my children in a span of a few days. Odin is my husband and my king, and I love him dearly, but this is my family as much as his. I will not stand by idly, and let him do as he pleases. Your father can be as angry as he wants, but he will not send you away again. This I promise."

Frigga looked Thor straight in the eye, and Thor could not help but believe every word. Still, as much as Thor didn't want to leave right now, there was another aspect that still bothered him.

"But… I see now that father was wise in banishing me. I was arrogant and reckless, and my foolish actions caused this mess. It is my fault that… That things are this bad…" Thor glanced at his brother's unmoving form, and felt his heart shrank in shame.

Frigga put her hand on Thor's cheek. "This is not your fault."

Thor shook his head. "If I had been here for Loki... If only I had listened to my brother from the start, none of this would have happened. The worst part is that I had no idea my brother was this… unhappy. I feel as though I haven't been a very good brother to Loki of late. Not only was I not here when Loki needed me the most, but I did not even know that he needed me. So, even if you manage to convince father to let me stay, I am not sure I deserve to."

Although Thor still had no idea what had brought all this on, he felt a considerable amount of guilt over what had happened. He was fairly sure he had never felt more guilty about anything in his life, with the possible exception of how he had felt right after his brother had told him their father was dead.

"My son, listen to me. There is nothing you could have done. I was right here, this whole time, and unable to stop any of this. Your brother… he is going through a hard time. The important thing is that we are here for him now and will help him through it."

Frigga swept Thor's tears with her sleeve and smiled at him tentatively. "What comes to your banishment." She sighed and closed her eyes. "You have surely already been through more hurt and sorrow than even Odin could demand of you. Also, you have learned your lesson and will not repeat your mistakes. But this is not about that. This isn't about what any of us deserve, or think we deserve, but about what your brother needs. And what Loki needs most of all right now is for his family to be here for him."

Thor nodded. His mother was right. His own feelings of confusion and guilt would have to wait.

Thor sat up straighter. He had faced situations more dire than this with his head held high. Just because this time he was out of his comfort zone, fighting fears and threats he couldn't even name, let alone chase away with his hammer, it only meant that this would be more complicated than he was used to. It did not mean Thor would back down from the challenge.

I will help my brother, even if I have to save him from himself.

Thor looked to his mother. "What should I do when he awakens? How can I help Loki when I have no idea what has caused all this in the first place?"

Frigga sighed. "I fear I do."

Thor raised his eyebrows in surprise.

"Something happened while you were away, something that upset your brother gravely." Frigga closed her eyes. "If only I had known how upset Loki truly was. When we talked about it, he appeared very calm, but... you know what your brother can be like. He hides his feelings, even from me. Not that that's an excuse. I should have seen Loki's sorrow, was simply so much else going on. Your banishment, your father's sleep… I should have known."

Now Thor was growing truly worried. He held his mother's hand more tightly. "What happened? The warriors did not mention anything of the sort taking place."

Frigga shook her head. "They do not know. No one does, but your father, Loki and I."

Frigga look his son in the eye. "Thor, there is something about Loki that I and your father have not told you. Either of you. We thought we were doing the right thing by not telling you, but now I wonder if we made a huge mistake by keeping this a secret."

She took in a long breath. "Loki is adopted."

Thor sat up straighter. He must have misheard.

"The only reason we did not tell you or Loki about this was that we did not want him to feel different, since it made no difference to us. Your father and I have raised Loki since infancy, and although your brother was not born to us, he is as much our son as you are."

Thor could hardly believe what he was hearing, but Frigga looked serious, and there was no reason for her to lie to him. Now that Thor considered it, Loki had always been somewhat different in appearance from the rest of their family, but even so, this was a huge surprise. Thor had never thought, never even considered that Loki might not be his brother by blood.

The Prince tried to quickly fit this incredible piece of news to the rest of the puzzle, but he had never been very good at seeing the big picture. Frigga did not hurry him, though.

"And… you told this to Loki while I was banished?" Thor frowned.

"Your brother found out about it on his own. When he did, he confronted Odin about it, but I fear they did not have time to resolve the matter before your father succumbed to the Odinsleep." Frigga explained, shaking her head sadly. "I told Loki that it didn't change anything, that he was still ours, but I fear Loki was too upset to listen."

Now Thor could see how this news related to everything else that had taken place, but it still didn't seem like much of an explanation. He frowned in confusion.

A flash of worry passed across Frigga's face. "Loki is still your brother."

Thor's eyes widened. "Yes, of course he is. I know that. I just find it hard to believe that this would be the reason for…" Thor looked down at his brother's sleeping form on the bed.

"There is more to the story." Said Frigga, her eyes on Loki as well. "Your brother was not born on Asgard, but on Jotunheim."

Thor's face went completely slack. "…What?"

"After the war, your father came home with only one eye and a small bundle in his arms. He had found a Frost Giant infant abandoned in one of their temples. The child would have been unnaturally small even for an Aesir, let alone for a Jotun, and had most likely been abandoned for that reason. Jotunheim is a cold and hard place, and the Jotun do not tolerate weakness."

"When your father handed Loki to me, he did not look like a Jotun, but like a healthy Aesir child. Odin told me that the moment he had picked Loki up, the child had shapeshifted so that his skin and features matched those of an Aesir. On that moment your father knew that he could bring the infant with him to Asgard and pass him off as one of us, and no one would know the difference."

Thor opened and closed his mouth several times, but found himself unable to put together an actual sentence. He tried to come up with obvious reasons for why there was no possible way his brother was a Frost Giant, which really should not have been hard at all. There had to be hundreds of foolproof reasons.

Loki isn't a giant. (Small for a Jotun.) He doesn't look like one of them. (A shapeshifter.) He is… he is not a monster.

Thor turned to look at Loki... his brother. Apart from the unnatural paleness and stillness, Loki looked no different from the last time they had seen each other on Midgard, or when they had travelled together to Jotunheim… Thor's eyes widened. "I took him to Jotunheim."

Frigga nodded without taking her eyes of Loki. "That is how Loki found out. He told me that while you were fighting the Jotun, one of them grabbed his hand, but instead of freezing, his arm… your brother had a sympathetic reaction. A Jotun's touch does not harm another Jotun, you see."

Frigga looked up to take in Thor's reaction. "I understand this is difficult to hear, but you need to remember that it changes nothing. Loki is still your brother, and he is going to need you support when he wakes up. Now more than ever."

And finally Thor had a reason. After he had found Loki in his miserable state, Thor had demanded answers, and now he had them. Yet, he couldn't help but wonder if he would have been happier not knowing.

What if this did change things? What if knowing that Loki was adopted, that he was a… Frost Giant, changed how Thor felt about him?

Thor took Loki's hand in his, and looked at his brother. If Thor could no longer look at Loki exactly the way he used to, the other would notice the difference immediately. Thor had never been able to lie to Loki. To his brother.

A new tear fell on Thor's cheek, and he squeezed his brother's hand a little harder than was perhaps necessary.

Of course this doesn't change anything, Thor thought, and was relieved to discover the sentiment sounded sincere enough, at least inside his head. I almost lost my brother today, but not because I would no longer consider him kin, but because he came this close to slipping away from me.

Thor hoped that he wasn't lying to himself about whether Loki being a Frost Giant changed how Thor felt about him, but he would find out for certain once his brother woke up.

It still felt strange, though. All his life, Thor had considered the Jotun nothing more than their enemies. Monsters. He still hated the Frost Giants for all the horrible things they had done, but Thor could not bring himself to hate Loki. Not even now. Especially not now, when the prospect of loosing his only brother was still fresh on his mind.

I guess I just can't really wrap my head around the concept that Loki and a Frost Giant are the one and the same. They aren't that in my head, or in my heart.

Thor thought that he should probably say something to his mother, but before he could think of what, the door to the room opened. They both looked up to see a servant bowing at them. "I am sorry to disturb Your Highnesses, but you should know that the Allfather has awoken."

ooo

When Loki stirred, the first thing he noticed was that he hurt all over. The second thing he noticed was that he was not in his own bed. The sheets smelled and felt foreign to his senses. The third thing he noticed was that there was something solid curled around his right hand.

Without stopping to think about it, Loki opened his eyes, and made to pull his hand free. On the up side, the binding, which turned out to be Thor's hand, slipped away from his easily enough. On the down side, the jerky movement startled awake the blond warrior, who had been snoring quietly in a comfortable looking chair next to Loki's bed. The Thunder God's breathing rhythm changed, and his eyebrows drew together, but he didn't yet open his eyes. Yet.

Loki was confused. He reached inside himself for his magic. To Loki's relief, he found that his magic was intact, although his supply was nearly depleted. Putting this detail together with the pain, Loki deducted that he must have gotten injured, and his magic must be running low because his body was instinctually using it to heal him and keep him alive.

Loki would have tried to get up, except that even the small movement that he had made to free his hand had caused a searing flare of pain run through his body, radiating from his stomach area. So, instead Loki tried to move as little as was godly possible, while he quickly went through his memories to orient himself.

What happened? How did I get here? And why is Thor here? He isn't supposed to be here, he is still…

Loki's eyes widened, as he remembered clear as day what had happened last night. Or however long ago it had happened. The room, which Loki now recognized as one of the healing rooms of the palace, was dimly-lit and had no windows, which made it impossible for him to estimate how long he had been out of it.

To Loki's right, Thor grumbled something unintelligible, and shifted in his chair. Loki realized Thor was going to open his eyes a few seconds before he actually did so, and the younger man escaped from the situation the only way that was currently available to him. Loki closed his eyes, lay very still, and feigned unconsciousness.

Go back to sleep, Loki ordered internally, and made sure to keep his face as devoid of emotion as possible. Not a hard task for as experienced a liar as Loki, even in his groggy state. Loki's… not-friends sometimes called him Silvertongue for his talent in deception, but convincing lying was actually more about body language than anything else.

Loki could hear Thor moving about next to him, probably trying to decipher what had woken him in the first place.

Loki couldn't remember how this situation had come to be, exactly, so he did not know why he was still alive.

But, of course Loki did. It did not take a genius to deduct what must have transpired. It was just that thinking it over made Loki feel even worse about the situation.

Thor was here, in Asgard, which meant he had already been forgiven.

Thor was here, in this room, which meant he did not know the truth. Yet.

Loki was here because someone had found him in the gardens. He had been a fool to have chosen such an exposed corner of the palace.

Loki was alive. For once in his life, he had done the right thing, but since he was an over-all miserable failure, he had failed even at that. This was just… perfect.

And now Thor was here. Ready to outshine him like he always did. Ready to do everything better. Ready to remind his wayward brother of his place.

And why shouldn't he? Had Loki not just proven to everyone that he was such a weakling that the moment his brother wasn't there to keep him in line, Loki had fallen apart completely? Had he not broken like a twig the moment any true responsibilities and power were placed on his shoulders? Why in the Nine Realms should anyone think him anything but an utter disappointment?

No. That wasn't quite the right word. The notion of disappointment encompassed positive expectations. What did one call a creature so pathetic that there were no plans for it?

Loki could not, would not, meet Thor. Not now. Not like this. Not after he had fallen so far behind. So far from grace. Loki could not bare the self-righteous mockery, the annoyed scorn, and, worse yet, pity that were sure to ensue. He would never again have someone keep him around only out of misplaced sense of duty.

Tolerated in spite of all Loki was. Never again.

Rattling from Loki's side told him Thor was still alert. The Thunderer was probably trying to move quietly in his chair, but was doing a terrible job at it.

"Brother?" came a voice so hesitant and soft that it actually took Loki a moment to confirm it belonged to his brother. Not-brother.

So, you are not trying to be quiet, then. It didn't matter. Loki kept his eyes shut and his face passive. Go away.

Thor's movements quieted down. Loki had already began to hope his ruse had been successful, when suddenly the unthinkable happened.

Someone placed a hand on Loki's cheek.

Instinct overcame self-control. Loki's eyes snapped open, and he pulled his head back, flinching away from the touch.

"Brother, you are awake!"

Shit.

TBC