Hey guys. This is another long one
Maybe read in parts.
You've already seen one side of the story now see another.
"We don't choose our lot in life do we? Fate deals us a hand and we make our own paths. We try to build a better life. Some of us make the most of what we have and hold onto it grateful for what remains while others… others see everything around them through hateful eyes and always want more. Others walk a darker path that twist them into something bitter…
A man filled with bitterness is a man who never forgives" – from the Tales of Varric.
Almost two years ago
Ferelden
The Fall of Ostagar
The battlefield was nothing but a massacre. Ostagar had fallen and King Cailan was dead.
A younger Tolan stood watching the scene with the other Rangers. A younger Tolan whose face was not yet scarred.
Their unit stood atop a hill overlooking the battlefield. They had been scouting out in the wilds for days before reporting back thinking they'd be late to the final battle only to find the death of their comrades.
If they had joined the battle on time they too would have died.
Tolan had watched with wide eyes when the Darkspawn had broken through the Army's line and begun to overwhelm the soldiers. He had watched as King Cailan in his gold plated armor was killed by an Ogre. Watched as the Grey Wardens fell.
He and the other Rangers hadn't spoken a word from the moment they came atop the hill and watched everything fall apart. They were unit of sixteen Rangers small enough to move quickly but large enough to put up a fight if attacked. Now they were sixteen watching hundreds of Ferelden Soldiers along with their King get slaughtered by the overwhelming numbers of the Darkspawn.
We never realized just how big their army was… they're like something out of a nightmare the way they swarm over their prey Tolan thought horrified.
But they did see what changed the tide of the battle. Though the Rangers had arrived late they could still see Ferelden General Loghain and his forces retreating without ever setting foot in the actual battle.
The Blight isn't going to stop and Loghain abandoned us Tolan thought.
The worse thing about watching the Fall of Ostagar wasn't seeing their King's corpse or the fires littering the battlefield, or the sight of their comrades being slaughtered… the worse thing was the screams of the dying.
Hundreds of men wailing as they met their end at the hands of the Darkspawn. The unnatural cry of agony as the Darkspawn played with their prey and even now began to grab Soldiers and crucify them.
Finally their commander found his voice and took charge saying "Ostagar has fallen we need to report to Denerim and muster what forces we have left." The Rangers nodded getting ready to leave, maybe it was their training but despite everything they still remained organized under their leader.
Squad Leader Fergus Cousland successfully led them down the hill as they were forced to go around the ruins of Ostagar.
All of them knew there was nothing they could do; they all knew they were leaving their friends to die at the hands of the Darkspawn while they themselves made their escape.
But nothing was easy. After making it downhill and pasted Ostagar they were ambushed by a Darkspawn scouting party. They been on the road thinking that the Darkspawn would still be at Ostagar but no the Darkspawn were showing greater intelligence than anyone had realized.
The Horde had left small pockets of Darkspawn around Ostagar almost like they knew some soldiers would survive. As they had been walking down the road a spear had flown from the woods beside the road and impaled itself in the Ranger beside Tolan.
The man had screamed in agony as the spear exploded through his chest bursting completely through his Splintmail. "To arms!" Fergus Cousland had shouted unsheathing his Greatsword as the Darkspawn fell upon them.
Tolan unsheathed his Longsword and Dagger as his fellow Rangers did the same.
Arleth the archer of the group let loose two arrows taking down as many only for a Shriek to appear behind the poor man. By the time Tolan turned his Dagger raised the Shriek had already buried it's razor sharp teeth into Arleth's neck.
Damn it Tolan thought as he forcefully pulled the Shriek off of Arleth and stabbed his Dagger through its skull with a sickening crack. Fergus decapitated a Darkspawn with single slash of his massive Greatsword as Tolan and the other Rangers fought beside him.
Tolan back-stabbed a Darkspawn nearly losing his head as another tried to sneak up on him only to miss he ducked before spinning his Longsword held outward. The Darkspawn roared in pain as Tolan's Longsword cut across its chest leaving a deep gash before Tolan finished with a stab to its throat.
Fergus Cousland had beheaded a Darkspawn and decapitated another when he was almost killed by a Hurlock. The Darkspawn had been slowly overwhelming the Rangers and the Hurlock that killed Arleth had unsheathed a Battleax and charged Fergus.
Fergus had been busy killing another Darkspawn and turned in time to swing his Greatsword but the Hurlock's Battleax still got him.
Tolan heard his commander's grunt of pain and turned seeing how Fergus's Greatsword had stabbed the Hurlock but the Hurlock's Battleax had pierced his Platemetal partially cutting into Fergus's chest.
It was only the fact that Fergus was Noble that he had survived. While all the others Rangers were common folk and as such had standard issue armor Fergus had the best armor his family could buy.
Fergus's Platemail armor had stopped the Hurlock's Battleax from killing him but it cut through partially impaling him on his chest. Two of the Rangers caught their commander as he started to fall.
Fergus's Greatsword slipped from his hand as the Hurlock slump to the floor dead. "Tolan! Cover us!" one of the other Rangers called as Tolan leapt forward and batted away what Darkspawn he could with his Longsword and Dagger.
A Darkspawn tried to charge forward only to meet his end as Tolan parried its slash and used his Dagger to slit its throat. Pushing the Darkspawn's corpse aside Tolan blocked another slash and kicked a Darkspawn back.
Three other Rangers joined Tolan in covering Fergus and the others as they backed away.
The Rangers retreated as best they could with the Darkspawn chasing them with two of the Ranger having to drag Fergus. Another Ranger picked up Alreth's bow and used it to keep the Darkspawn at bay but by the time they had escaped only elven Rangers were left.
"Stay away from the road" Fergus rasped as Tolan took point leading them through the forests and staying out of the Darkspawn's sight. "He needs to rest" one of the Rangers said as he was dragging Fergus through the mud.
"No we escaped the Darkspawn once I doubt we could do it again" Tolan said.
"It's okay I can keep up" Fergus said even as two Rangers had to hold him up. "No you can't. You need a Healer" Tolan said saying what they were all thinking; even now the Hurlock's Battleax was still impaled in Fergus's armor.
They had been very careful when moving their commander. Fergus's blood was seeping through his armor and could even now be leaving the Darkspawn a trail to follow. Fergus let out a heavy breathe saying "I need a Healer."
"Is there a town or village we can stop by?" another Ranger asked.
"I think there's a small town not too far down the road… Lothering" Fergus suggested. "No we'd have to get back on the road. I know of a village to the east it's closer than Lothering and we wouldn't need to use the road" Tolan said frowning.
"I've never heard of a village to the east" one of the surviving Rangers asked. "It's not on the map. Just a spec of land that some farmers settled in… it was my home before I joined the Ferelden Army" Tolan said bitterly.
"You were a farmer?" Fergus asked surprised.
"I was. Not anymore I was tired of living a life where every day was the same" Tolan answered.
Tolan had grown up with a natural ability for Ranging but he hated how little he had while the more civilized people of Ferelden feasted. The common folk always had little and Tolan hated knowing that his life would be exactly like his father's, a farmer. So he had joined the Ferelden Army after showing the recruiters how well he could scout.
"Whatever we do we need to move fast" one of the Rangers said. "Fine Tolan take us to this village of yours" Fergus panted. "Follow me" Tolan said showing his fellow Rangers and his commander Fergus Cousland to his home village.
For once they were lucky and there weren't any more Darkspawn ambushes as Tolan led them through the wilds. "It's not much further" Tolan said as he had to help Fergus and the two Rangers dragging him along past several small tree branches.
Suddenly Fergus looked up speaking in low voice saying "Tolan." Tolan saw where his commander was looking and turned to see it too and his heart stopped and his eyes widened… smoke coming further ahead.
"Home" Tolan said rushing forward without the others as Fergus called out after him and the other Rangers hurried to keep pace while dragging their commander.
Tolan ran through the wilds and broke through the tree line only to stop at the sight before him. The village… his village was burning. From the looks of it the Darkspawn had sent a small force and destroyed it burning it to the ground.
My parents… they're gone Tolan thought as he slumped to his knees even as his Ranger training made him analyze the left overs seeing that Darkspawn had killed everyone before burning the village.
Like something out of a nightmare the Darkspawn had even crucified some of the farmers and left them on display for travelers to find. Tolan didn't notice that the Rangers had caught up to him until one of them placed a hand on his shoulder saying "I'm sorry Tolan."
"We need to find a Healer fast" one of the Rangers that was dragging Fergus said as their commanders was breathing heavily. Even now Fergus's blood was seeping down his Platemail.
The Hurlock's Battleax was still partially impaled into Fergus's chest but none of them wanted to remove it without a Healer nearby and at least so far the armor kept pressure on the wound.
"The Chasind. We need to find a Chasind camp" Fergus rasped weakly. The Rangers exchanged looks as Tolan got to his feet having to get over the death of his parents quickly as he nodded in agreement.
They set out searching for the Chasind and as Tolan left his destroyed home behind him he looked back knowing he no longer had any family left in the world.
Later
It was hours before they found a Chasind camp but when they did they had to barter for a place to stay and a Healer for Fergus.
"He will live but he cannot travel much in this state" the Healer said as the old woman bandaged Fergus up, she had removed the Battleax by undoing the armor and carefully sliding it out as Fergus tried not to scream.
The Chasind had no pain killers.
"Now he needs rest" the Healer said as Fergus lay on a blanket while the other Rangers sat around doing nothing. Once the Healer had gone Fergus tried to sit up but found the pain was too much for him, he'd be bedridden for months at least.
"We need to reach Denerim or Redcliffe. Regroup with what's left of the Army… the Darkspawn aren't going to stop" Fergus said weakly. "There is no Army left" one of the Rangers said. "Loghain betrayed us commander. We saw him leaving without lifting a finger to save Cailan" another said.
"Is there any hope? The Darkspawn killed Cailan and slaughtered the Ferelden Army. Loghain took his men with him but how long until the Darkspawn overwhelm him too... how long until Ferelden falls" Tolan said darkly.
The Darkspawn will burn and pillage every village and town they come across as they tear their way through Ferelden… the whole country will burn Tolan thought darkly.
"What are we deserters then? We pledged to serve we are honor bound to defend Ferelden" Fergus said as the other Rangers shifted uncomfortably.
"What good will reaching Denerim do?" a Ranger said as another got to his feet adding "the Darkspawn Horde is only going to grow and we've all heard the Tales. It takes an alliance of nations to stop a Blight."
"We can't give up! Ostagar was only the first battle but it won't be the last! The Grey Wardens will send reinforcements" Fergus said desperately.
"The Grey Wardens are dead. No one is going to contact the others. Come with us commander we can take ship somewhere the Darkspawn can't follow" Ganly, one of the more experienced Rangers of the group, said bitterly.
"You're serious aren't you! We are not deserters!" Fergus said growing angry. "I pledge to serve King Cailan. I wanted to move up in the world and be more than a farmer… Cailan's Army gave me that chance" Tolan said darkly.
"Tolan?" Fergus asked.
"I pledged to serve King Cailan with honor but now Cailan is dead and Ferelden might follow" Tolan said standing up. My parents are dead and my home is burned to the ground... what do I have left here anyway Tolan mussed somberly.
"This is our home we can't just leave it" one of the Rangers whom had dragged Fergus through the wilds said.
"Then stay here and die. We're leaving" Ganly said as four Rangers moved to stand beside him, so far only five deserters. "Don't do this we can regroup with the other survivors" Fergus said.
"Thank you commander. You turned me from a farmer to a Ranger in the Ferelden Army who served with pride. But I plan to live" Tolan said turning his back on Fergus and moving to stand beside Ganly and the four deserters.
"Anyone else?" Ganly asked.
"Any who would come with us are welcome. We're heading to Gwaren to take ship somewhere safe" Ganly said. Fergus watched in disbelief as two more of the Rangers left Fergus and joined Ganly and the other deserters.
Only Fergus and the two Rangers that had dragged him through the wilds stayed, only those three stayed loyal to Ferelden. "Stay with the Chasind, commander. Don't try and travel they said you weren't healthy enough" Tolan said sadly.
Without another word Ganly led the eight deserters out of the Chasind camp and started towards Gwaren to take ship.
From Gwaren to Kirkwall
It took two days to reach Gwaren. They arrived to meet the first tides of refugees fleeing the Blight and found the Inns completely filled up. Luckily there were still a few Chantry ships that were more than willing to give people rides.
The Chantry ships were usually reserved for transporting supplies and sometimes Chantry Sisters and Mothers throughout Thedas but now they were packing as many people as they could into the ships and taking them to safety outside of Ferelden.
Ganly, Tolan, and the other deserters along fifty four refugees managed to find passage on a Chantry ship heading to Kirkwall. From there it took nearly two weeks to reach Kirkwall. Two weeks where Tolan and the other deserters had nothing else to do but think about what they'd done.
Two weeks where Tolan mourned his parents in silence. The other refugees didn't bother them much but the common people who had fled Ferelden were even more frightened that Ferelden Soldiers had deserted in face of the Blight.
Upon reaching Kirkwall Ganly, Tolan, and the other deserters were left on the Gallows along with the fifty four refugees.
The Chantry could do nothing more for them and all they found was that the City in Chains had closed its doors to refugees only letting in those who had the money to pay for it. It only grew worse from there.
The tides of refugees kept coming and clusters of them began crowding around the Gallows. Days past and the former Rangers were forced to barter for food but even then they barely had enough to live on.
They were forced to live only eating one small meal a day to survive while ship after ship of refugees, not all of them Chantry ships some were whatever ships people had managed to board, flooded the Gallows.
Ganly and Tolan had taken to bothering the City Guard into letting them in but the Guardsmen grew tired of their pestering and told them to speak with the Guard Captain at the time, Ewald, further in.
Ganly, Tolan, and the other deserters had to nearly force their way further into the Gallows to speak with Guard Captain Ewald. But for all their persistence it was all for not.
This is when the first encounter occurred.
"Let us in you flaming Blighter! We're not staying in this pit outside Kirkwall" Ganly said looking more menacing with each passing day as he eyes grew more desperate and his Ferelden field armor began to look more ragged as time went by.
Tolan just stayed silent behind Ganly and the other deserters trying to think of another way into the city when he spotted another group of refugees.
A group of two families, a brown haired woman, and a Mabari.
An older woman who was obviously the mother with a younger woman who was obviously the daughter. That family was led by another Ferelden deserter, a man with midnight black hair and blue eyes.
This deserter wasn't a Ranger like Tolan and Ganly were, from the look of his blue field armor he was just a Soldier. A Corporal from the looks of it. The other family looked just like a family of farmers, like Tolan and his parents had been years before. A man and his wife followed by his two daughters.
"Then get back on your ship and leave, Kirkwall has no more room for Refugees" Ewald replied trying to stay calm. "The Ship's already gone; we paid good money to get here. Why can't we get in?" another Ranger yelled.
That's a lie the Chantry brought us here freely Tolan thought. Ewald all calm and collected replied "you and practically half of Ferelden. There's nothing I can do Sir. Unless you have legitimate business here we ask that you move on."
"But some Fereldens have been getting in, ones that aren't Merchants" the Corporal called as he led the two families to Ewald. "That's right, we've seen you let lots of people in" Ganly said angrily.
"Citizens of Kirkwall, Merchants, and Nobility whom can pay for relatives to get in because they can take care of them. Others are people who can spend money and stand on their own, and help Kirkwall's economy. There's no more room for refugees in Kirkwall. I didn't make the rules good Sirs I just enforce them" Ewald said with genuine sympathy as he gestured at the entrance to the City in the distance behind him.
I don't want to fight my way into the city but if Ganly has his way we won't have another option Tolan thought. The farmer stepped forward saying "yes, my cousin William Crewe has a business here. I sent a letter from Gwaren's Raven Post he should be able to get us in."
Ewald pulled a sheet of paper out and searched through a list. "Crewe… yes you're right, your cousin is waiting outside the gate, a Guard will bring him here for you then you'll be allowed into Kirkwall" Ewald said.
The family of farmers looked happy but before Henry could thank Ewald, Ganly stopped him.
"What! You're gonna let them in but not us" Ganly yelled. Ewald calmly raised his hand trying to calm everyone down saying "I never said that exactly but they have a relative paying and looking after them here."
They'll let in some farmers but not us! Tolan thought bitterly remembering the days they had spent just trying to speak with Ewald.
"We've been here for days! They just got here" Ganly yelled gesturing at the Crewe family. Henry Crewe tried to calm the Rangers down saying "I sure Kirkwall will be able to help y-" he began but never finished.
Ganly suddenly drew his Longsword and yelled "that's it we're craving our way in here, men!" the Rangers all drew their weapons.
"Wait we don't have to do this" Tolan tried to say but Ganly drowned him out with a yell of rage as he slashed at Ewald.
Ewald pulled his Shield up but not his Longsword and yelled for back up. The Corporal drew his Longsword and Shield as well, using his Longsword he blocked a downward slash from Ganly that was for Ewald.
Ganly looked stunned that the Corporal was helping the Guards and not him as he gaped at the fellow Ferelden deserter beside him.
The Corporal… he stands against us Tolan thought in disbelief even as he unsheathed his Longsword and Dagger. Tolan looked around seeing that the City Guardsmen were coming to back up their Guard Captain even as Ganly and the Corporal fought.
The Mabari was growling at them as the brown hired woman began to fight another Ranger as the Corporal's family and the farmers backed away. Tolan caught the daughter's eye knowing that from the looks of her she was probably the Corporal's little sister.
Tolan froze if he wanted to he could take her but then what? There was no point in killing her or taking her hostage this was all about getting into the city. Tolan may have been a deserter but he still remembered his training to never harm civilians.
The Corporal's little sister began to raise her hand for some reason to Tolan's confusion but the Corporal suddenly shouted "Bethany stay back!" The Corporal's little sister, Bethany her name was, listened to her brother and backed away with her family but Tolan understood.
She's an Apostate… that isn't a walking stick she's holding Tolan realized as he looked between the Corporal fighting Ganly and this Bethany.
That's when the City Guard reinforcements arrived and Tolan slowly sheathed his weapons and knelt with his hand held up. He hadn't attacked anyone but thanks to Ganly he would be taken into custody with the other Rangers.
"Unbelievable. Guards! What happened? Armed men attack your Captain and it takes well over ten minutes for you to help" Ewald yelled to his Guards as they stood around.
Tolan stared at the Corporal and his family as he, Ganly, and the other Rangers were pulled out of the courtyard. Tolan watched as the family of farmers was being allowed into the city as he and the other Rangers were pushed back into the Gallows.
To Tolan's dismay the City Guards began to take their weapons from them.
"Not that… please its personal" Tolan said as a Guardsman grabbed his Ostagar knife. "You attacked Guard Captain Ewald you don't get to keep your weapons" the Guard said coldly as Ganly's Ostagar knife was taken.
"I stayed my hand. I didn't attack anyone" Tolan said though truthfully he had thought of it. "It's true he was only with us he didn't attack anyone" Ganly said sticking up for his fellow Ferelden unlike the Corporal they had meet.
The City Guard shrugged saying "I don't care. Tell you what… how much coin you have on you? I'll let you keep this knife but you have to buy from me." Bastard Tolan thought as he painfully pulled out his coin pouch.
The City Guard laughed when Tolan handed over the coin.
The Guard tossed the Ostagar knife back to Tolan. "Don't come back here again or things will get ugly" a Guard said as he roughly pushed Ganly back into the Gallows, which was filled with crowded refugees. "You're lucky we don't have a jail for you. Go and join all the other refugees stuck outside in the Gallows" the City Guard that pushed Tolan said.
The Rangers now stood once again back in the Gallows where they managed to found a corner to themselves but with little hope.
"Tolan you're an idiot why did you give up your coin for the stupid knife" one of the Rangers said angrily. Since reaching Kirkwall the group had pooled their resources together to survive best they could and Tolan had wasted coin.
"Its personal. We shouldn't have done that back there" Tolan said as he clung to his Ostagar knife, the others thought he was stupid and maybe he was but the Ferelden Army was the only thing that had given his life meaning… and he'd deserted.
Tolan would have to live with that forever. "Forget about it we have to find a way into the city" Ganly said understanding Tolan's desire to keep the Ostagar knife while all the others were forced to give theirs up.
"No I won't just forget about it! We need food and he lost us coin!" one of the Rangers shouted drawing a few glances from other refugees. "I'll go and barter for what I can" Tolan said wanting to make up for it. Without another word Tolan walked through the crowds of refugees and began to barter for food.
Some of the more desperate Refugees gave him curiously glances but did nothing as Tolan still wore his Ranger armor.
Don't try it Tolan thought as he caught a few men looking at his armor with greedy eyes. When he returned to the others he'd managed to get a few strips of bacon for them and some clean water that a merchant was selling.
"It's all I could get" Tolan told the others as he passed the food around. "We have to converse it" Ganly said taking most of the food and shoving it into his carrying pouch before handing out everyone's food.
"Why do you get to hold the food?" a Ranger asked coldly.
"Because I'm second in command" Ganly answered sternly.
"Ha second in command of what! We're deserters or have you forgotten!" the Ranger replied as he got to his feet. "We need to work together!" Tolan shouted. "We made it this far we can't turn on each other now! Come on let's and try and get some sleep" Tolan called.
"Tolan's right we need to keep our strength up. Until we get into the city there's no guarantee we can keep getting food" Ganly said sternly.
They ate in silence. Once they were brothers in arms and would have died for each other but now they were all deserters and refugees. Now they were starting to turn on each other as things went from bad to worse.
How would they get into the city now that they had tried to carve their way past the Guard Captain and take ship to the Kirkwall Docks? Tolan and Ganly pondered all of this as they ate with little food they could.
As night fell Ganly told one of the Rangers to keep watch.
Refugees were desperate and if they saw all of them asleep there was no question that they would get robbed.
Tolan managed to get some sleep propped up against a wall while others found spots around the floor. One Ranger stood watch, the Ranger that had acknowledged that they weren't a unit anymore and that Ganly wasn't in command of anything.
This Ranger was angry with Tolan for giving away their coin just to keep his Ostagar knife while all of them had given theirs up. This Ranger was angry that Ganly had tried to lead an attack on the Guard Captain.
This Ranger had had enough of both of them.
The Morning After
When Tolan awoke the next morning he heard movement and rushed to his feet Ostagar knife drawn as he saw a man trying to pull Ganly's boots off of him without waking him up.
"Get away from him!" Tolan shouted as he kicked the desperate refugee and Ganly awoke up with a start. "Did you take anything else!" Tolan said threatening the desperate refugee with his Ostagar knife held out.
"No I just wanted some boots" the man said trembling. "Get out of here and don't come back!" Tolan said kicking the man once again as Ganly got up with his boots still on his feet.
The man ran away as Tolan noticed it… Ganly was the one who finally broke the silence saying "the others left us."
It was true. Of the eight Ferelden deserters six had left leaving only Tolan and Ganly. Ganly frantically pulled out his carrying pouch and began to look through it but Tolan knew it was pointless…
"They took our food!" Ganly said in disbelief.
"Probably took our coin too. We're lucky one of them didn't slit our throats" Tolan said somberly. Ganly slammed a fist into the wall. Neither of them spoke… they had chosen this path in life. They had chosen to desert and in turn had been deserted.
Four Days Later
Ganly and Tolan were forced to barter away their armor just to get food though Tolan kept his Ostagar knife.
Ganly had gotten a ragged shirt for himself that he wore over his undershirt and a pair of trousers while Tolan only had his undershirt and the trousers he'd been issued at Ostagar.
They were both dangerously low on food and already they could start to see their faces becoming more gaunt as they became more and more like the other refugees.
Some refugees had managed to make deals with certain questionable people for a way into Kirkwall but when Ganly and Tolan tried that approach they'd been refused as it always came back to the incident with Ewald.
"You two idiots attacked the Guard Captain. Ain't no one gonna pay your way into the city no matter what training you got" was the common refusal.
Twenty Three Days Later
Things were bad as Tolan and Ganly had been forced to barter away their boots for some food that barely lasted them the day.
"We're going to die here like this. The City Guard and the Templars don't care I've already seen a few corpses littered about the Gallows" Tolan said as he leaned against a wall beside Ganly.
It appeared that as long as the crowds of refugees didn't block the Gallows transport the city didn't care about the corpses. Sometimes a Templar or a City Guard would be sent to move the bodies but not one of them lifted a finger to help the survivors.
A few times a riot had almost broken out as the refugees still stuck around the Gallows tried to block transports but each time the City Guard stepped in and the riot always died down.
"Another day and then the Chantry will send help they have to. They have to. They did it before and… and they pledge to help the weak" Ganly said weakly performing a quick prayer.
So far none of the Chantry ships that been so kind to the refugees in the beginning had bothered coming to help again. All of the refugees clustered around the Gallows with nowhere to go had been forgotten by the City and the Chantry.
Twelve Days After That
Tolan and Ganly had given up hope.
They had almost nothing left to barter with and yet Tolan still wouldn't give up his Ostagar knife. "Ganly… Ganly!" Tolan said reaching over and shaking the only friend he had left making sure he hadn't died.
Ganly barely lifted his head, he hadn't eaten in three days, weakly saying "I don't even care anymore… just let me die."
"No" Tolan said firmly.
"Don't you see Tolan? This is our punishment. We abandoned King Cailan… we abandoned Fergus Cousland… we abandoned Ferelden" Ganly moaned. Tolan got to his feet slowly, no longer even having socks to warm them, as he looked around the Gallows and the clusters of refugees.
That's when Tolan finally saw it… the narrow waterway between the Gallows and the rest of the city. Ships carried people and supplies to and from the Gallows to the rest of the city.
Others tried and failed… but we're not like the others Tolan thought as he stared at the water and stretched his legs. Kneeling down and shaking Ganly awake Tolan said "come on I have plan. It's the only option we have left and we'll need our strength."
Ganly followed Tolan's eyes and saw it too… the water. "It can't be done. Some of the others tried and they drowned" Ganly said. It was true a few frantic refugees had tried swimming to Kirkwall from the Gallows.
So far every single one of them had drowned.
I will not die here. We will not die here alone and forgotten Tolan thought as he forced the little food he had into Ganly's hands. "You need it more than me. Tonight we swim for it the current's calm" Tolan said firmly. Ganly nodded and began to eat the rest of the little food they had.
When night fell Tolan and Ganly discreetly strode towards the edge of the Gallows where even now a ship or two was transporting supplies. "It's too dark for them to see us" Tolan said.
"This is insane but it's our only chance" Ganly said as they got ready.
Taking a deep breath Tolan and Ganly slowly lowered themselves into the waterway between the Gallows and the rest of Kirkwall. They were both strong swimmers but the water fought against them.
Tolan fought with everything he had forcing his way past the current thanking the Maker that for tonight the current was calmer. His arms felt numb and he lost track of time. He had to keep forcing his head above water to take another breathe of air.
Tolan knew that if they failed they would join the bodies of drowned refugees that had also tried swimming across. The bodies usually sunk below but every now again he was sure that he passed a corpse that was still floating.
Ganly and I are Rangers. We were trained for this Tolan kept thinking as he kept the Kirkwall Docks in sight ahead of him. When they were more than half way there Tolan glanced back seeing that Ganly was having more trouble than he was.
Almost there Tolan thought not wanting to call out.
At this late hour most of the city was asleep but even still Tolan didn't want to draw more attention to them. Ganly was struggling to keep his head above water as he swam further and further trying to keep pace with Tolan but he was an older man and not as strong as he used to be.
Soon Ganly was accidentally breathing in the water and starting to cough at the effort when Tolan noticed him nearly being pushed back by the current. In a mad move Tolan turned around letting the current pull him back and he allowed himself to collide with Ganly.
Acting quickly Tolan grabbed Ganly and turned them around slowly forcing them forward with each kick in the water.
"Almost there… you gotta help me" Tolan panted between kicks as he used his free hand to help push the two of them forward. Ganly nodded and started to swim forward as well with Tolan keeping both of their heads above the water.
Together the two Ferelden deserters swam holding on to each other.
When they reached the Kirkwall Docks they were both breathless and Tolan placed a hand on the first port they could reach. Struggling with the effort he pulled himself to the surface before hauling up Ganly too.
Both of them collapsed onto the port.
They had made it into Kirkwall.
They lay there a few minutes before Tolan saw that the sun was beginning to rise, it had taken them hours to swim across. Forcing himself to his feet Tolan grabbed Ganly and hauled him up saying "come on we can't stay here we need to find somewhere safe."
Together they made their way out of the Kirkwall Dock's thankfully before any of the morning workers arrived to see them.
Without knowing where to go Tolan managed to find someplace called the Lowtown Marketplace that was mostly empty. From there Tolan found a back alley where he propped Ganly against a wall and laid down himself to dry up.
Sleep fell upon them and when Tolan woke several hours later with the sun up he saw three thugs looking him and Ganly over. Tolan got to his feet unsheathing his Ostagar knife, the only thing he had from his old life, and calmly said "we don't want any trouble."
Ganly was stirring and got up as one of the thugs said "thing is we want trouble and all you got is that little knife." "What the hell happened to you two? Hehe you don't even have boots" another thug said laughing at the two of them.
"A knife in my hands is worth the three of you" Tolan said menacingly as he moved into a defensive stance.
This is bad we're still weak from the swim Tolan thought feeling the stiffness in his arms and from the looks of it Ganly had the same problem. The thugs began to step forward and Tolan and Ganly stepped back cornered when two City Guards stepped in appearing from nowhere.
"What's going on here" one of the Guardsmen said drawing a Longsword. Tolan and Ganly exchanged looks not believing their luck. "Nothing we're just having some fun is all" one of thugs said raising his hands so the City Guards could see them.
"If we catch you bothering people again like this we will arrest you crime committed or no" one of the Guardsmen said sternly. "Get out of here" the other Guardsmen said sharply and the three thugs left but not before turning back to Tolan saying "we'll be seeing you again."
Now that the thugs were gone the City Guards turned to Tolan and Ganly saying "carefully you two these are dangerous times with the flood of refugees."
"Thanks for the help we'll be careful" Ganly said glad that they're clothes had dried making them appear common Kirkwall folk. "What in the Maker's name happened to you anyway? You don't have any shoes?" the other Guardsmen said curiously.
Thinking fast Tolan spoke up saying "spent too much time drinking with the boys. You know how it is you start playing cards and the betting starts."
"You lost your shoes gambling" one of the Guardsmen laughed. "Well your hangovers seem to be gone so I suggest you two return to your homes" the other Guardsmen said filling in the gapes to Tolan's bluff.
"Right you are Sir" Tolan said as the two City Guards left leaving them in the back alley after saving them from a nasty fight.
From there Tolan and Ganly did some recon and learned that Lowtown was considered the middle to lower class part of the city. They didn't have any coin left so they started looking for odd jobs here and there and managed to find some.
A Month Into Kirkwall
For days they couldn't find an apartment so they descended lower into the city to a place called Darktown and found a place to themselves. They took shifts as the other slept seeing that Darktown was where the poorest and most desperate Kirkwallers dwelled.
Both of them were sick for days after their swim. They had had fevers but they had no choice but to push forward, it was a miracle that they had managed to swim across at all and live to tell the tale.
Working together they managed to survive but it wasn't easy. They never had enough coin to rent a place and the odd jobs the city had seemed so full of were starting to disappear forcing them to look for some shady work.
Barely managing to scrap by Tolan and Ganly noticed that the flood of refugees had drastically raised the crime in the city. Hundreds of desperate people willing to do anything to survive.
It was ironic Tolan and Ganly hadn't made deals with shady figures for ways into the city like so many refugees had but because of this they had no real prospects or jobs that lasted too long and coin went by quickly.
We were Rangers in the Ferelden Army… and now we're becoming criminals Tolan thought bitterly as he and Ganly walked down a narrow street. They were deep into Lowtown near the border to Darktown and a few street thugs gave them bemused looks as they walked.
At the end of the street an older man with tattoos running down his arms sat smoking a pipe and waiting for them. "You two better leave now while I'm feeling generous" the older man said as the street thugs began to surround Tolan and Ganly.
"We've been in Kirkwall about a month now. We've heard things and I know that you're Griff and you can offer us work" Tolan said calmly.
"You're bold I'll give you that but why would I offer you two rats work? I already got plenty of Fereldens working for me. So many refugees that needed a way into the city and well… they're basically slaves" Griff said coldly. "We're not like the other refugees. Both of us were Rangers in the Ferelden Army we know how to move around and get information without being seen" Ganly said calmly.
"And I'm King Cailan's long lost bastard brother" Griff said sarcastically as he laughed in their faces.
"You know how many stories I hear from you Ferelden dogs. Plenty of desperate people come to me saying they were Knights or even Nobles. It's good for a laugh but not much else" Griff said coldly.
"I didn't say we were Knights or Nobles" Ganly said as Tolan suddenly unsheathed his Ostagar knife saying "how many refugees have these?" The street thugs began to draw their weapons at the sight of Tolan's Ostagar knife but Griff held up a hand.
Griff gazed at Tolan's Ostagar knife studying the blade and the small inscription on the handle that Cailan had had put in every Ostagar knife, the Blight ends here, how wrong Cailan had been.
"I've seen one of those before but they're rare. You either had the coin to buy it or you stole it, or you're telling the truth. I'm not saying I believe you two but I'll give you a chance" Griff said smugly.
"What do we have to do?" Ganly asked. "Alright I'll give you a job and IF you can pull it off I'll send some work your way" Griff said taking a whiff of his pipe. Tolan nodded as he and Ganly exchanged looks.
"There's an elf, he set up shop a few blocks from here. He name's Scully and he owes me protection money. Four sovereigns" Griff said. Bulling people… I don't like this but it's the only way we can hope to survive Tolan thought as he shifted uncomfortably.
"You have one day. Get started" Griff said sternly.
"We'll get it done" Tolan said not liking this as he and Ganly left.
From there they found Scully and his little shop. He was a pretty filthy elf covered in rags and he tried to run for it but Ganly grabbed him. Then Scully lied saying he didn't have the coin and that's when Tolan did something he wasn't proud of.
Tolan started to tear apart Scully's shop threatening to break the booth if he had too before Scully finally stopped them and handed them their coin. Later as Tolan and Ganly handed over Scully's money Griff only laughed saying "that was faster than I thought!"
"Alright welcome to the crew but if you ever snitch on me I will burn your corpses and piss on your graves" Griff said as they joined his gang.
Sixty nine days after the fall of Ostagar
Night
It had taken time but Tolan and Ganly had made a place for themselves in Griff's gang and though they weren't proud of their work they could eat. They didn't need to pay rent as Griff give them a spot in his nearly walled off section of hovels in the space between Lowtown and Darktown that was his base.
As it turned out very few of Griff's gang had been native to Kirkwall. Griff's gang had actually started small under the notice of the City Guards until the Blight had flooded the city with refugees giving Griff the expansion he needed.
Griff had given them weapons again and though things were better than they had been for a long time Tolan still felt bitter.
Tolan hated seeing the Nobles in Kirkwall whenever he pasted through Hightown. He hated seeing how careless their way of life was, Kirkwall was a wealthier city than many in Ferelden and as such the Nobles were worse.
Tolan didn't mind hard work, he grown up with it, but living in rags and being forced to run with a gang wasn't something to be proud of. He didn't like the work they did but he did what he needed to survive.
Lately Griff had Tolan going on runs with the others guys to raid the Smugglers in Kirkwall. Griff wanted to take out the old Smuggling group and take over for himself and he started by stealing their supplies.
Ganly was reduced to mostly standing guard in Griff's base. Ganly had been wounded on his side during an earlier run on the Smuggler's shipments; he'd taken a bad slash to his side.
It was only because of Tolan that Ganly had survived as the rest of Griff's gang had run off with the Smuggler's supplies but Tolan had dropped everything and slung Ganly over his shoulder making sure they both got away.
Griff had been angry but Tolan was one of his best men thanks to his training as a Ranger and so had let them off easy. Now Tolan was gearing up with the other gang members as Ganly wished them luck and guarded the door watching for City Guards.
"Hopefully we'll steal something big this time" Tolan said.
Ganly chuckled saying "I'd settle for some good Ale… I haven't had good Ale since Ferelden." Tolan smirked and clamped his friend's shoulder before heading off with the other gang members.
Together Tolan and the gang members discretely reached the Docks where they found that tonight was a lucky night… port fifteen was undermanned.
Not much protection Tolan thought as he rushed forward with the others and started to raid the Smuggler's shipments. At the port Tolan and Griff's gang found the smugglers protecting the shipments and they did put up a fight.
Things were going well for a while as Tolan and Griff's gang outnumbered the smugglers and were quickly taking down men. Tolan caught a glimpse of an elf fighting one of Griff's gang members with a Longsword as he back-stabbed two smugglers.
That's when something strange caught Tolan's eye… a man wearing a simple undershirt and trousers rushing over and slamming a Shield into one of Griff's men then slashing his Longsword at the stumbling man's throat.
The strange man had midnight black hair and blue eyes… the man helped one of the smugglers up with his shield arm as Tolan was forced to defend himself.
Blocking a slashing with his Longsword Tolan used his free hand to stab his Dagger into his attacker's heart. Tolan continued fighting taking down two smugglers as he heard the strange man fighting nearby with one of Griff's ax women.
Suddenly Tolan heard something fall into the Waking Sea and turned seeing Griff's ax woman had been kicked over board by the strange man.
Tolan gaped as suddenly an arrow flew through the air hitting Griff's ax woman in the forehead with the current pulled her away. Glancing around Tolan saw the leader of the smugglers, Athenril herself, bow and arrow drawn followed by three of her goons.
Knowing that with Athenril here the fight was over Tolan started to make his getaway but he decided to take out one more smuggler, the strange man.
Tolan crept silently behind the strange man his Dagger drawn.
The strange man was distracted looking after an elf that was holding what appeared to be his brother who had taken an ax to his arm. Just as Tolan raised his Dagger ready to backstab the strange man one of the elves raised a hand and pointed at Tolan.
The strange man saw the elf's warning and turned. The strange man started moving to the right barely dodging Tolan's Dagger, instead the Dagger hit below his shoulder, embedding itself into the strange man's back. Grunting in pain and still using the momentum from moving the strange man turned with his Longsword arm held out, the blade extended upwards in a desperate slash.
Tolan tried to back away when suddenly he felt pure agony… the strange man's Longsword cutting Tolan in the mouth… the blade slicing through his lips and past his cheeks.
Tolan fell to the floor dropping his weapons as the pain flared.
It was the most painfully thing Tolan had ever felt… it felt like his mouth had been ripped open. He shrieked in pain not being able to scream as his mouth was full of blood. Tolan held himself up with one hand while the other held his torn and disfigured mouth.
The strange man stumbled backwards falling to one knee and holding himself up with his Longsword… Tolan's dagger embedded in his back.
Tolan had been cut across his lips and past his cheeks it would leave a horrible ragged scar and it felt like his tongue was cut by the way he spit out blood. He tried to push past the pain and get up but suddenly an arrow tore through the air hitting his leg and pinned him to the floor.
Tolan yelled in pain.
Through the haze of pain Tolan could hear Athenril talking to her smugglers.
Athenril calmly asked "this wasn't your shift Garrett. What brought you here now?" "Tomwise, he noticed what was going on and brought me here to help" the strange man, this Garrett, replied.
"But how did you know about the attack… Tomwise barely had time to find me" Tolan heard this Garrett say.
"I knew an attack was happening. It happens every now and again, competition trying to get a leg up, been having one of my boys watch from afar. He let me know what was going down. I knew sooner or later they'd attack a shipment again" Athenril answered.
Tolan coughed up blood trying to breathe as he heard Garrett say "there's more to it than that, you should have protected this shipment better. This was... like bait. It was wasn't it? You knew they'd attack at the advantage."
The elf spoke up saying "Athenril! You knew something like this would happen and you didn't bother to put more protection for your Dockers!" Athenril replied "not exactly, I was waiting for a right time and place for something to happen. Now we got some prisoners and I WILL make them talk."
Tolan suddenly yelled in pain as Athenril roughly pulled out her arrow.
He looked up at Athenril and this Garrett and that's when he realized who it was.
You… you were the Corporal we met at the Gallows Tolan thought through the haze of pain as Garrett Hawke looked him over sadly. "This isn't right" Garrett Hawke said uneasily as he wobbled to his feet.
"It might not be right but its effective now time is running out. I have a… distraction keeping the City Guards busy" Athenril answered sternly. Tolan glanced around as Athenril's men suddenly hauled him up and he saw that another of Griff's gang had been captured, a Dwarf.
From there things became a blur of pain and Tolan passed out as Athenril's men dragged him along with the dwarf.
When next Tolan awoke he was in a basement. "Who do you work for!" Athenril called as she unloaded a bucket of water over his head causing Tolan to wake. He realized that he was tied up.
The pain was still there and though Athenril's men had cleaned his face and leg is they had done nothing to save him and even now Tolan could feel his face burning like it was fire, the sheer pain was unimaginable.
"We worked alone" Tolan rasped not wanting to give up Ganly. "Liar! Your dwarf friend died from my questioning but he told me you're a gang!" Athenril yelled dumping another bucket of cold water onto Tolan.
"… He lied" Tolan said breathless only for Athenril to reach forward and grab him by the mouth squeezing the cut across his mouth. Tolan nearly blacked out from the pain but Athenril let him go saying "you can't bullshit a bullshitter. Who do you work for!"
When her first round of questioning didn't work Athenril had her men pick up the tied up Tolan and dump his head in a bucket of water. They held him underwater for minutes before pulling his head up.
"Talk and I'll let you go" Athenril said coldly.
Tolan barely managed to stay awake as Athenril grabbed him by the hair saying "talk!" "Beat him" Athenril said next. Tolan lay unable to move as the beating began, Athenril's men let loose on him and he lost consciousness.
Next Tolan woke somewhere he'd never been before with Athenril forcing a health potion down his throat. But it wasn't a kindness… she healed him to torture him. Athenril's men beat Tolan again and once again forced his head into buckets of water nearly drowning him.
Finally Tolan lay bloodied and broken as Athenril loomed over him as she grabbed the cut across his mouth. Tolan scream in pain as Athenril pushed her thumb further into his mouth and further into the cut drawing fresh blood.
"If you don't talk I will throw you away where no one will ever find you" Athenril hissed.
"We're underneath the Docks where the city uses these massive pipes to push flood water and garbage out of the city. You either land in the Undercity with every bone in your body broken or you drown in the Waking Sea" Athenril hissed as she made him look.
It was too much… Tolan just wanted the pain to end.
He finally spoke in barely a whisper saying "okay."
Athenril smiled coldly saying "who do you work for?" "Griff… he runs a gang between Lowtown and Darktown" Tolan answered weakly. "Fix him up" Athenril said to her men as Tolan once again lost consciousness.
Three Days Later
Tolan awoke somewhere in Lowtown with Athenril looming over him and he felt that his face had been bandaged. "We got a job for you" Athenril said as her men hauled him up.
"No… I gave you what you wanted" Tolan rasped. "Thought you'd say that you see you're in danger of dying we bandaged your wounds but infection will kill you unless you help us" Athenril said smugly.
"If you don't help us you'll waste away down here and die alone. I know where Griff's base is but you can give us the jump on him" Athenril said coldly as she strode forward holding a bag of medicine over his head.
Not having any choice and just wanting something for the pain Tolan found himself dragged .
Soon Tolan was back at Griff's base and knocking on the door. Athenril and some her men were behind him hidden. The slit Griff had installed inside the front door opened and eyes stared back at Tolan.
"You?" Griff's gang member said confused.
"I escaped… barely made it back here please I need help" Tolan rasped. "How? No one else came back" Griff's gang member asked. "Just let him in for Maker's sake! Tolan I thought you were dead" Ganly suddenly called.
Tolan's eyes widened.
Ganly… how could I forget. The pain... I wasn't thinking. No you need to run Tolan thought just as the front door opened and he tried to warn them. But Athenril pushed him aside and stabbed Griff's gang member through the eye before drawing a throwing knife and sending it Ganly's way.
Tolan watched in horror as Athenril's knife struck Ganly's throat and the former Ranger slump to the floor dead.
Athenril and her smugglers rushed in clearing out Griff's base hovel by hovel… Tolan slowly entered Griff's base and knelt next to his dead friend. Ganly the only friend he had had left in the world…
Tolan stayed there kneeling beside the corpse of his friend as he could hear Griff's men being killed by Athenril and her smugglers. The smugglers of Kirkwall were very nearly a mob and they had just taken out the competition.
When it was over and Griff and his gang were dead, Athenril and her men found Tolan still beside his dead friend. "Here" Athenril said tossing him a bag of medicine and some coin.
Tolan looked up seeing Athenril and her men leaving… none of them even looked back… none of them had even learned his name. He hung his head not knowing why he was even alive anymore… when suddenly someone knelt down next to him.
Tolan looked up seeing the man from before. The man he'd met for a third time… Garrett Hawke, the man who had cut open his mouth and handed him over to Athenril, was now holding a piece of bread.
"Take it. I got it for you" Garrett said looking sad.
"Things won't be easy from here. Go on. Take it" Garrett said trying to hand over the bread.
Tolan only glared up at him with hateful eyes. Garrett met his eyes and instead placed the bread on the floor. "Hawke leaving him alone stop trying to help him… he'll be dead in a week" Athenril called to the only one of her men who lingered.
"I'm sorry this happened to you" Garrett Hawke said honestly as he somberly stood up and left Tolan alone in Griff's old base. For a long time Tolan just sat there alone before slowly picking up the supplies and the bread Garrett had given him.
Later Tolan would realize that Garrett Hawke had saved his life by giving him the bread as he barely had enough coin to pay the Healers. Infection had almost killed him and he ran out of money for food… only Garrett's bread saved him.
But he would never forget who scarred his face.
Days past and Tolan had found a safe place in Darktown to sleep at night while during the day he was little more than rat living off what he could in Darktown once Garrett's bread ran out. He stole what he needed to survive and hide down below where no one could find him.
Then came the day Tolan changed... He was hiding below in some corner of Darktown slowly unwrapping his bandages despite the pain. Tolan held his Ostagar knife up and looked at his reflection in the blade.
Looked at the reflection of the raw red flesh that ran along his face, looked at the ragged scar forming across his lips and past his cheeks. That was the day the rage formed in Tolan's heart.
That was the day Tolan became a man filled with bitterness… a man who does not forgive.
Long I know but I wanted to tell this story.
I'm not asking readers to feel sorry for Tolan but just to see his story
Also Bethany was not on Athenril's team that took out Griff's base (Hawke wouldn't let her go).
For fun I suggest re-reading chapter 6. The next chapter will not be so long I promise.
Thanks for Reading and please Review!