A/N I know I said I was going to post the new chapter on Sunday but I got so many favorites and follows that I decided to post the new one!
The chapter is for Tern and LottLott, thank you so much for those kind reviews :D You guys are the best 3
Thank you to dyceymeow, Tern, LottLott, Ellstra, and Rubyhair for reviewing! And thank you to everyone who has favorited and followed! It feels good to be able to write again and makes me feel it's all worth while thanks to you guys!
This chapter's song is Memories by Within Temptation
AGAIN I do not own the characters but I really freaking want Spoooock! (anyone else agree?)
On with the chapter, huzzah!
Chapter Three: Memories
"James, wake up! God damn it James, wake up!" I have never felt this out of control. Not when he was dying the first time. This time it was so much worse. His eyes had shut after he had said he loved me, and once again I was frozen and couldn't say it back.
"Spock!" Uhura cried out. I looked up from the comm to see us approaching an upside down car. I was out before she had even stopped the vehicle, kicking in the window and removing all sharp edges that could catch on his delicate skin before pulling him out and in to my arms. I forced myself not to wince at the blackened part of his arm that was caused by me.
"Jim…" I whispered softly. I pressed my lips softly to his, not caring about the blood and felt his heartbeat and his mind strong. He was alright, he wasn't near death. More importantly, there was time. I had him in my arms in a second, climbing in to the back of the car and holding him to me.
"Alright, we'll be right there soon Leonard." Uhura said before hanging up the comm and stepping on the gas. She was speeding, but not excessively like James had been. I put my hand on his meld points and looked up at Uhura.
"I'm going to meld with him and try to bring him to consciousness." I said. She looked in the review mirror.
"Alright, I'll try to drive steady." She said, turning her eyes back to the road. Instantly I was in his mind.
His mind was in a jumble. It was like he was in a room where the walls were made of various moving pictures and in the center of it was James with his knees pulled up to his chest.
I'm scared Spock, help me not to be. I froze and stared at the memory that I knew so well. How do you choose not to feel…?
I forced myself to look away, knowing it would cause me to be unstable. That was the last thing James needed at this moment.
I want you to know why I couldn't let you die, why I went back for you. No… no, I couldn't hear this again. It stung too much, raising tears to my eyes that I help back.
So tell me what you did wrong, what's the lesson to be learned here? I looked at the unfamiliar memory and recognized it as after I had been dismissed from the meeting.
Never trust a Vulcan. I couldn't help but laugh quietly and shake my head a little.
No, actually, Scotty just quit. And you're boyfriend is second guessing me every chance he gets… I'm sorry that was inappropriate. It's just…. Sometimes I want to just rip the… Bangs off his head!
Wait, are you guys fighting? Oh my god, what is that even like? I rolled my eyes at him, taking another step forward. He could be so ridicules sometimes.
Spock, my display is dead, I'm flying blind.
Captain, without your display, hitting your target is mathematically impossible.
Spock, if I get back we really need to talk about your bedside manners. I smiled again, now enjoying the memories flowing around me.
I have been and always will be your friend.
Wha…. Uh… Look, I don't know you.
I am Spock.
Bullshit. I laughed, all his memories were eliciting strange, warm feelings inside me and I forgot my purpose, turning to look at the wall of video like memories.
So you're saying I have to emotionally compromise you guys?
Jim, I just lost my planet. I can tell you, I am emotionally compromised. What you must do is get me to show it. I looked on in confusion, what were we talking about?
Don't answer him.
Answer me.
I rather not take sides. All fond memories I assume, aside from the first I saw, they are mostly happy, and all but one of them involved me. I didn't know he felt so strongly… I thought perhaps I was another of his illogical conquests. Another… notch in the belt as the humans would say.
What is it like not to feel anger or heartbreak or the need to stop at nothing to avenge the death of the woman who gave birth to you?
Back away from me.
You feel nothing! It must not even compute for you! You never loved her!
"I never meant that." Jim whispered. I didn't realize I had gotten so close.
"James." I said softly, moving forward and slowly kneeling in front of him. The moving walls turned black when he looked up at me. He appeared like he had the first time I saw him, after he had hacked in to my test. Wild, young, absolutely stunning.
"Heya Spock. I knew my last thoughts would be of you." He said, smirking. I blinked, trying my best not to just kiss him now. He had always tested my self-control.
"James, you are not dead, nor will you be dying anytime soon. Will you come with me?" He looked confused for a moment and then a sigh left his lips.
"Where would I not follow you, ?" He said, making my heart skip a beat. I stood and held out my hand, which he took and used to pull himself to his feet.
"I love you too, Jim." I said, deciding now was the best time. I needed to overcome my own cowardice. His grin was brilliant.
"Yeah, deep down I knew. I was just being a girl." He said, his arms slipping around my shoulders. It was my turn to smirk as I wrapped an arm around him.
"You tend to act feminine a lot." I replied. He pouted and I chuckled, leaning forward and pressing my forehead to his.
"How do I wake up? I told you I was coming home, and I won't be called a liar." I wrapped my other arm around him, sighing contently.
"Just follow me, you'll understand how." I whispered, leaning forward and closing my eyes as I pressed my lips to his.
It was really hard not to moan when I opened my eyes and Spock was there, kissing me gently. I pulled away, conscious of the fact that if he was in the back seat that meant Uhura was driving.
"Hey Uhura." I groaned, resting my head on Spock's shoulder to prevent myself from passing out again. I started laughing when she jumped out of her skin while parking the car. I looked at the emergency sign and groaned.
"You're awake!" She cried out, looking in between the seats. Spock was being unusually quiet. He was just holding me while rubbing my arm and nuzzling my hair.
"Bone's is going to kill me!" I cried out, seeing him walking towards the car. Spock finally chuckled, pulling away from me when he realized he was clinging. I smiled apologetically at Uhura. I was the reason they broke up, and I felt horrible about it. I felt Spock shake me gently and I looked up to see his one eyebrow perfectly raise.
"She's dating your engineer." He replied to my thoughts. "Our ending our relationship was mutual."
"Yeah, but…" I trailed off as the door opened and Bones shoved his head inside, cussing very colorfully.
"Jesus, you miss me that much?" He growled, pulling out and calling for a stretcher.
"I don't need one, I can walk." I muttered. Bones looked at me skeptically as Uhura got out of the car and opened the door beside me.
"Alright…" He said, knowing he couldn't stop me. I pulled myself out of the car, smiling at Uhura and teetering slightly when she wrapped her arms around me.
"I was so scared." She whispered. I felt really bad for everything I said and hugged her back.
"I'm sorry." I muttered. She pulled away, rubbing my arm gently before pulling back to let me move when I grimaced at the pain. I used the door to walk forward, everything hurt, especially my left arm. Spock came around the side of the car, looking at me with a questioning look. I shook my head and waved him off, knowing he was asking if I needed help walking. I took a couple steps away from the door, making it around the car before my legs failed and I crumpled in to Spock's arms.
"Jim! This is why I shouldn't have waved off the god damn stretcher." Bones growled, running over. Before he could even reach me, Spock had me in his arms and I felt like a limp doll. Bones hesitated for a moment before nodding and waving us in.
I leaned my head against Spock's chest and smiled up at him when he looked down at me.
"Am I too heavy?" I asked, not wanting to be a burden.
"You are…. What's the saying? Light as a feather. You should eat more Captain." Aaaand we were back to being called Captain. And here I thought we had made it pretty damn far. He only kissed me because I'm hurt, I only imagined him saying he loves me. He set me down on the bed before formally backing away.
"Call me when you're ready and I shall assist you in going home. I must retrieve my vehicle from Uhura's." He said, swiftly leaving the room.
"Fuck off you pointy eared menace!" I screamed, loud enough that I think the entire hospital heard. Bones and Uhura stared at me in shock and Spock slowly stepped back in to the room. I was fuming again and I knew it.
"Pardon me, Captain?" He said, blinking slightly. He was as composed as ever.
"You are a coward." I growled. I saw his shoulders tense.
"And to what are you referring to me being cowardice?" He asked. God he was irritating! Why did my heart choose him of all people!
"Don't bother coming back for me. I'll make it on my own." I said, glaring. I wanted him out of my life so my heart would heal. Maybe he did care, but he was messing with my mind, my heart and emotions. And I was more than sick of it.
"Bloody hell, what happened to your arm? How fast were you going to receive that big of a bruise? And why does it look like a hand?" Bones yelled, obviously trying to defuse the situation.
"I wasn't wearing my seatbelt properly." I said in a monotone, my eyes locked with Spock's, his lips parted in surprise. "I must have hit it a couple times when the car rolled."
"I shall depart then." Spock said, turning on his heel.
"Leave now, and I never want to see you again." I growled. It wasn't supposed to come out. I knew he'd leave. I just didn't want to deal with these feelings and all the pain that came with them.
"James!" Uhura yelled. Spock had frozen in the door, his arms tight against his side and his fists clenched. Bones was trying to stay the hell out of it while assessing the damage to my body.
"Do you really mean that, Captain?" He said, voice strained. He looked over his shoulder slightly, though his eyes were downcast.
"Yes." I whispered. His eyes closed and he took a deep breath, then walked out the door. I cried out in anger and grabbed the vase beside me. Bones narrowly ducked as I threw it in to the wall and it crashed in to a million pieces.
"Oy!" He yelled, smacking me upside the head. "Don't damage hospital property because you and your boyfriend broke up."
"We were never dating." I growled.
"Oh, in that case. That," he pointed between me and the door. "That was weird and angsty. Grow the hell up."
"Jeez, some fucking friend you are." I muttered, closing my eyes.
"Don't go to sleep, you might not wake up, you have a major concussion." Bones instructed.
"Counting on it." My eyes flew open as Uhura's slap caused my head to snap to the side. I blinked then turned to look at her.
"Make that concussion severe." I grumbled. Her nostrils were flaring, and if my heart weren't aching for an emotionless asshole who does nothing but play with me, I'd say it was pretty damn attractive. Oh, and apparently she's dating Scotty? Why do I never get this information?
"Stop being so god damn selfish." She said. "Are you stupid or just plain blind to how Spock feels for you?"
"She's got a point Jimbo."
"Both of you shut up and just fix me so I can go home."
"Not happening. You have suicidal tendencies, a major concussion, a broken arm and torn muscles in your legs. You'll be here for a while." Bones said with a smile. I stared at him with my mouth hung open and Uhura smiled triumphantly before leaving the room.
"You aren't seriously going to keep me here, are you?" I said as he injected me with a hypo. "God damn it I hate those things!"
"More serious than a Vulcan." He grumbled. "Uhura told me you said suicidal things and you just uttered a suicide threat in front of me. You aren't leaving supervision until I deem you worthy."
We all have those moments when we blurt things out that we don't mean, Kirk, don't worry bout it -pats head-
Alright, I hope you enjoyed the Chapter, next one will be up on Sunday! Thank you all for reading!