A/n: I do not own the Clique and I also do not own the credit for the idea because this story is based off a book I read called Hate List. It is a super good book and I thought this could fit the Clique fanfic really well. Heads up this will be a little dark but not really. Check out Hate List...I promise you won't be disappointed!

Love,

Halo.

The school hallways that used to be full of colorful banners for various clubs and sports are now just a plain except for the black banner hanging over the cafeteria that says, 'We will never forget.' in a crimson red paint. I used to hate school because everyone seemed to be so full of life and happy with their lives while I was miserable...it felt as if they were always rubbing it in my face about how perfect their lives were compared to mine.

Now it feels as if the world is just as miserable as I am, but it isn't a good feeling to finally feel a part of something because now I feel guilty for causing everyones' misery. I walked down the corridor past the cliques to my tan locker number 246 and quickly spun my combination 0-30-40 to dispose of my backpack and only take out what I needed for the day.

"I can't believe that she is even allowed to come back." I heard someone whisper a couple feet away and I knew they were talking about me. I am the reason why we no longer can carry our purses or backpacks to class, the reason why there is more security patrolling around campus now, the reason why all of those kids died and even someone teachers too.

"Look at her trying to act like she belongs." another girl whispered.

"She can change her looks but she can never change the damage already done."

"I can hear you, I may not be popular but I'm not deaf. I never wanted anyone to die and I never pulled the trigger," I said annoyed with the constant whispers. I don't know what has gotten into me, I would never stand up to anyone before. "It took a school shooting to finally make you realize that the words you speak, they are daggers to someone else's heart. So go and run your mouth but know that someone is in pain because of you." I have finally snapped as I faced the nerds of the school aka my former friends. Kori Gedman, Claire Lyons, Strawberry McAdams, and Layne Abeley who act like they don't care what other people think of them when they really do care.

"And being his girlfriend you never knew about his ulterior motives. You're just as guilty as he is." Kori the blonde who always styles her hair in pigtails said as her piercing blue eyes searched mine for guilt or maybe even some leftover innocence.

"You were his friend too and you know as well as I do that none of us thought he would ever do something like that." I said coldly because to be honest Kori and I never really got along before. We just seemed too different for one another.

"You'll still never be a hero." Strawberry McAdams fumed angrily because she has always had a short temper which makes me want her to dye her hair a fiery red so it can match her face instead of keeping that yucky bubble gum hair color she has now. Strawberry and I well we never saw eye to eye either and to be honest her anger issues frightened me more than Landon ever did when he would talk about death 24/7.

"I never asked to be a hero. Listen I don't expect much from anyone except hatred but I expected more from my so called 'friends'. If you think I'm guilty than obviously you aren't my friends after all." I said bitter because they were supposed to be on my side not against me. I looked at Layne hoping she would stand up for me like she had done so many times in the past but the green eyed girl remained silent.

"Massie, we're sorry but we can't be associated with someone like you." Layne finally said and without my former friends bumped past me leaving me alone. I slammed my locker door furious of the way they acted towards me.

"For what it's worth I never thought you knew about it." Claire Lyons the blond hair blue eyed girl said when I turned around to walk to my first hour class. I never knew Claire had the balls to ditch Layne to be friends with me-I mean we talked and all but we were never best friends.

"Why are you not with Layne and the rest of those jerks?" I asked coldly because it's all I have ever known.

Even before the 'incident' I was always cold and mean to those close to me because I am terrified of being vulnerable maybe that's why I liked Landon so much...he didn't care if I was strong or weak all he cared about was making me happy. Well at least that's how he was in the beginning but towards the end he seemed as if he didn't like me anymore because he hardly talked to me and he would rather get high than hang out with me.

"Because I chose my own friends and if they don't like one of my friends well then they can go shove it." Claire said with a chuckle and I had to admit it felt good that she has the courage to stand up for herself.

Claire never really seemed to be apart of the group anyway because we all would wear different color skinny jeans, different color converse, and band t-shirts while Claire would wear bootcut jeans, white keds, and more formal tops. Claire was the most fashionable out of all of us but she never did it on purpose that was her style.

"Thanks Claire, I really need someone to help me get through the day." I told her as we walked to first hour together which is World History with Mr. Cane who is a stubby short Caucasian blond hair blue eyed teacher who is in his late forty's.

Unfortunately he has a seating chart posted on the smart-board and Claire and I are not anywhere near each other instead I am right next to Derrick Harrington and Alicia Rivera.

"Hey good looking I'm Derrick and you are?" the dirty blond said as he flirted with me and I have realized it is probably because he doesn't recognize me with this new look.

"Derrick, that is the new improved hot Massie Block." the black raven beauty said as she put more empathizes on the word improved and I still don't know why Alicia is making such a big deal about me. Normally I would think she is up to some prank to humiliate me in front of everyone but this time I feel as if she is being real with everything she says to me.

"Wait is this the same girl that dated Land-"

"Don't say his name, but to answer your question yes I am the same girl." I said as interrupted Derrick because I don't want anyone to mention that name and my own name in the same sentence. Landon betrayed not only me but the rest of the student body and staff.

"Excuse me, I need to leave." Derrick said briefly as he stood up and bolted out of the classroom. No one tried to stop him and no one ran after him because we all know why he is so upset, Landon shot his sister that day.

She was his first victim because Sammy would always make fun of Landon for being in a public school before he went to Westchester which dubbed him the LBR label even though Landon was the most popular guy at his old school. Sammy ruined Landon's popularity and in the end Landon took away her life.

"He's not upset with you, it's just hard to think about that day. I mean we all lost so much but it could have been worse if you didn't sacrifice yourself to save the rest of the us so we all know you are the hero not the murder." Alicia said as she stood up to sit in Derrick's spot so she could be closer to me, I guess. Even though I tried to stop Landon from killing more people it didn't feel like it was enough because people died anyway regardless of me sacrificing myself.

"Sometimes I feel like I'm just as guilty as he is." I whispered quietly hoping she wouldn't hear it because if she does, will she think I was guilty?

I knew my first day back wouldn't be peaches and fairytales but I didn't think it would be this easy either. I thought I would be alone and bullied to the point where I would be forced to call my mom to come and pick me up from school. Maybe BOCD High has truly changed since the shooting but at the same time maybe only a few students have changed and the others I haven't faced yet.

"We all feel guilty because we couldn't save them no matter how hard we tried...we couldn't and we have to learn that we are the victims too." Alicia said before she turned her attention back to Mr. Cane who was going over the class syllabus.

I wonder if Alicia is right that we are all the victims of foul play but what I wonder more about is if everyone else thinks that way too? Do they think I'm a victim? Or do they think I am a murder? All I know is this is just the beginning of my sophomore year and I have two more years before I can move out of town and abandon this hurt behind for good.

Review:) thanks for the reviews! I tried to be more detailed.