Chapter 47

Sorry it took so long. I was expecting it to be easier to write this chapter but I didn't have much inspiration. I hope the chapter is ok. I know what I want to do for the next chapter so should be easier to write. I have been quite busy setting up a roleplay as well so if you want to join here is the link forum/Criminal-Minds-RP/134601/. BTW I don't own criminal minds.

She held onto me as I clambered up the stairs.

I tried to look at my watch but it felt like I was in a dream world where the world was whizzing too fast and the watch hands were hypnotising me.

Garcia whispered "Just focus on moving and keeping awake. I have you."

I couldn't formulate any words at that moment. All I could focus on was moving. I couldn't say thank you or sorry. I couldn't comfort her.

I could only make grunts and such noises.

She opened her hotel room and placed me down on the bed.

The bed was soft and bouncy but I didn't bounce on it.

She sat down beside me and just sighed. We both sat down and faced the wall.

In silence I felt tears slowly fall down my face. It felt as if all my worries and pain had come into one place and started to flow out.

My tears were hot and painful yet they fell silently.

I turned my head slightly and saw Garcia with her head in her hands.

I knew she was breaking down and I could feel her pain. I knew she was sobbing but my tears were clouded my eyes.

I couldn't believe I had to face all my pain now. I didn't want to face all my pain. I wanted it all to disappear.

I was selfish but I couldn't help it. It was my mother's funeral in a few hours' time.

I just hoped I wouldn't do anything else I regretted before the time we left Las Vegas.

Diane sat in her room still not believing what she had done. She had poisoned her only love, for all she knew, he could have been dead.

"I can't stay here," She whispered to herself as she rocked back and forth.

She had shocked, depressed, angered and annoyed herself with what she had done.

"I have to get out of here and do what Spencer would have wanted." She whispered to herself as she got up and walked towards the wardrobe.

She grabbed a black lace midi dress, a pair of purple tights and a pair of black pumps from the wardrobe and placed them on the bed.

She closed the wardrobe and walked to the bathroom.

She was going to make sure she was going to look good for her only lover's mother's funeral.

She at least owed him that!

I wanted to find some diladid and get so high that I would forget all of this pain, but I knew that wouldn't work.

It would probably make it worse.

I'd be an addict and I'd upset the only people left who I care about. It wouldn't be good.

It was a selfish thought but I battled it to the back of my brain.

I saw Garcia and shuffled over to her and placed my arm over her shoulder.

"I'm sorry," I muttered as she raised her head out of her hands.

She had black tears coming down her face and she looked really bad but she still looked beautiful.

'That was probably why Morgan loved her so much.' I thought to myself as I turned to face her.

"You don't need to apologise. It's not your fault I'm feeling like this. I guess you're probably feeling worse but I am here for you regardless. I am sorry for crying but I can't help it. Soon we will be leaving this state, this country in fact. I know it's your mum's funeral, but if you really don't want to go, you don't have to. I know your mum loves you anyway and wouldn't mind if you came to her funeral. She would understand…" Garcia gently said.

Her voice soothed my soul but there was still a pain through my heart.

"I want to go even though it will hurt. I know I will hurt. I will understand if you don't want to do this, but would you mind going to my mums' funeral with me?" I said with tears building in my eyes.

My mind always seemed to wander to her death ever since that fateful night.

Garcia slowly nodded.

I knew she was hurting and that she probably didn't want to come but she was coming because of me.

I felt as if I owed her as I knew I probably did.

About an hour later

"Have you got something to wear Garcia?" I asked as I felt relieved when she said she would come.

She nodded and said "I am sure I can find something suitable to wear!"

I smiled as I walked to the wardrobe and grabbed the pristine, expensive, black suit Rossi had bought for me the previous night.

I walked to the bathroom and said "I'll get ready in here Garcia. You can get ready in the room or wait for me to finish. I'll be about 20 minutes. We have about two and a half hours until we have to leave."

I had a shower and got ready for one of the saddest days of my life, my mum's funeral.