Here's the other chapter I promised and there will most likely be another before I go to bed. To the guest that reviewed the previous chapter... omg... Space pirates... I love you! You are my new favourite person!
The song for this chapter is Monster by Skillet
I don't own em
Chapter 9: Monster
I sat in the corner of my room, the blinds pulled shut and my clothes wrinkled from days of not being changed or washed. Layers of blood were on my skin from all the times Khan took over and did what he pleased with my body. He said he was staying to my compassion, only killing criminals, but that made me no better than they are. He made me no better than they are.
I can still remember the last time it happened, it had been two weeks since the day I moved apartments and became a murderer. They were calling me the avenging slaughterer… Because most of the time there wasn't enough of the body to even properly identify it. But the last time was different. I was watching and couldn't stop myself from what was happening.
I walked down the darkened street, seemingly searching for my next victim. A girlish scream echoed through a nearby ally and I felt a rather disturbing smile form on my lips. I turned down the ally and saw a girl pressed against the wall, a knife at her throat and a man groping her body. I quietly came up behind them, grabbing the man by the neck and squeezing until he cried out and stumbled back in my grip.
"Go." I said, shooting the girl a look. She shuddered slightly and started backing towards the exit.
"Th… Thank you." She whispered before turning tail and running, her high heels making an audible click on the cold pavement.
"Come on man, I would have shared!" The guy growled. I snarled, throwing him against the wall before retrieving his knife and putting it to his throat.
"I have no interest in such humanly pleasures." I scowled, drawing the blade across. I felt the warm blood spray in to my face, the taste of it was in my mouth from how big my smile was. The man started making a sick gurgling noise, and had I been in control, I would have puked.
The would-be-rapist's eyes were wild with fear and before he could die, I raised the knife to his face, starting to peel the skin off his face like it were a potato, his screams nothing but gargling blood.
I keeled over the bucket beside me, heaving but spitting up nothing but acid and flem. My body continued to heave, trying to expel all contents of my stomach, but unable to due to the fact that I haven't eaten in two days. Khan kept me alive, somehow providing sustenance for my body despite my not eating. However, my body was starting to shrink, my usually well toned muscles all but gone.
My head shot up as a loud knock sounded on the front door. Quietly, I grabbed a Kleenex, wiping my mouth before throwing it in the bucket and shoving it away. What if it's the police? My heart started to race as I paniced. What if I wasn't as careful as I thought I was when coming back in to the apartment? What if they were here to arrest me.
Relax, I would make sure to kill every last one of them before they could even try to arrest you. Khan said in my mind, his voice sounded a little too happy to follow through with those words.
You only care because you would be taken away as well. I growled back.
True… But I've come to enjoy our time together, Captain. He purred. There was another knock, louder than before and I shrunk further in to the corner, away from the noise. I closed my eyes for a second and gasped as Khan took me in to my own mind.
My arms were tied above me, a chain connecting them to the ceiling. A metal bar was between my legs, a cuff on each ankle connecting it. I couldn't move as Khan lubed himself, not even preparing me as he slid in without warning.
I cried out in pain, tears falling from my eyes. I didn't want this, no, I want this to be Spock.
"Even after he has left you, even after he hasn't bothered to come find you, you would rather let this hurt than enjoy this, Captain?" Khan growled, slamming in to me harder and leaning down to bite my back.
"I love him, that won't change." I sobbed out. I was becoming so pathetic. Khan was overtaking me and there was nothing I could do. He pulled out suddenly, walking in front of me and kneeling so he was face to face.
"I will make sure, that for everything you have done, and for him almost killing my crew member, that I will kill him slowly in front of you with your body and make sure you feel every last breath that leaves his strangled lungs." He growled. He was thrown away from me suddenly and I looked up in surprise, tears falling down my face. Spock looked at Khan in disgust before gripping my chin in his hand.
"I assume you would rather not stay in your mind with him, Captain." He said. I nodded and he leaned forward, much like the first time he had to draw me out of my own mind, and kissed his lips to mine. I shuddered kissing him back, feeling a tugging in the center of my chest, like there was a string attached there. I followed it, opening my eyes in time to see him pull away.
His hair was cut shorter again, all signs of stubble gone from his face. He stood up briskly, putting his hand s behind his back in a formal stance. Bones was in front of me, swearing profusely as he prodded at me, lifting my shirt, dropping it, then looking on in confusion. And then it dawned on him I think, because in that moment, he pulled away slightly and I saw fear in my best friend's eyes.
"You're the avenging slaughterer." He whispered. The image of the other night came to mind and I leaned over the bucket, dry heaving once more.
"Jesus Jim! Have you not been eating?" Bones yelled, putting a hand on my shoulder. I looked up and smiled sadly.
"Nope, haven't eaten in two days, I was trying to starve myself, but Khan won't let me die." I groaned out between heaves. Finally my body stopped tormenting itself and I grabbed another Kleenex, wiping my mouth before leaning back against the wall with a groan.
"Captain, Khan has obviously violated the terms of your agreement by killing other humans." Spock said formally. So, obviously Bones dragged him and he really didn't want to be here. The kiss? Only to bring me out so they could get a confession.
"Khan didn't break the agreement." I growled. "Technically, since he's making me black out and takes over my body, I'm the murderer."
"So… None of this blood is yours?" Bones asked, looking at me with pity. I started to shake my head and then grinned.
"Some of it is his, he tried to slit his wrists but I healed them." My voice came out deeper and I fought to regain control. Suddenly, Spock had my throat in his hand, his eyes wild with anger as he pinned me against the wall. My hands flew up to grab his wrists and a sinister smile played at the corner of my mouth.
"You do realize that all you are doing is choking the life out of your Captain?" Khan growled out. I was suddenly thrown in to my body again and Spock's eyes widened, going to let go of me. I held his hands to my throat, somehow my strength beating out his.
"Do it, Spock." I groaned, looking in to his eyes. "If you don't kill me, the killings won't stop. The needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few, remember? It's only logical."
"Let me go, Captain." He said, releasing his grip on my throat.
"If you care about me Spock, kill me now." I said, my grip tightening.
"Oh for the love of… No one is killing anyone!" Bones yelled, sticking a hypo in my neck. The jolt of it made me release Spock, who jumped away and back in a formal position. Stupid fucking hobgoblin.
"What the hell was in that, Bones?" I groaned, grabbing my neck. "I fucking hate those things."
"It was a nutrients hypo. You haven't been eating, so I gave that to you. Come on, you need to go have a shower and I'll take you out to a buffet or something." Bones said, getting to his feet, he held out a hand for me and I glared.
"You aren't the one who had to watch your own body flay the skin off someone while they still lived!" I spat out. Bones rolled his eyes, grabbing me by the arm and forcing me to my feet.
"It's not you who is doing it, it's Khan. Don't think that this is going to make me stop being your friend. Now get in that bathroom and wash the blood off your skin."
"Doctor, may I suggest that he isn't alone? He has been starving himself and apparently slit his own wrists." Spock said, not meeting my eye. Bones smirked, letting go of my arm.
"Well, thank you for volunteering Spock. You've already seen him naked, and I don't care to. So you can watch him shower." He said, smiling triumphantly. Spock blinked, his eye twitching slightly. He opened his mouth to protest but I beat him to it.
"Fuck no." I growled, taking a step back. A wave of dizziness his me and I groaned, stumbling backwards. I was suddenly picked up by Spock and thrown over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes. The thought of potatoes made my eyes widen.
"Spock, put me down." I said softly. He walked in to the bathroom and I watched as bones closed the bathroom door.
"It would be illogical for me to release you as you would most likely just attempt to run away." He responded. Despite everything it felt really good to hear his voice. And there's the nausea.
"Spock, put me down I'm going to puke!" I yelled. I was down in front of the toilet in an instant. I wretched loudly, coughing and sputtering as tears started to slip down my face. I took a deep breath before grabbing the toilet paper and cleaning my lips, flushing the toilet. I didn't move though, I felt like if I did, I was going to pass out.
A paper cup filled with water came in to view and I avoided touching his fingers as I grabbed it from him. I put half of the contents in my mouth, swooshing it around to get rid of the acidic taste before spitting it out and drinking the rest of the cup.
"Thanks." I said softly, putting the cup in the garbage. An awkward silence hung in the air before he slowly kneeled down beside me and started gently pushing my shirt up. I held my breath as I gently pushed his hands away.
"I'll shower myself and won't do anything stupid. I don't want you to be forced to be here." I said, looking away.
"Captain, it is my duty as your first officer to keep you safe. Something that I have failed to do for the past two weeks. I must put my feelings aside and help you as much as I do not want to be here." I flinched at his words, I knew Bones dragged him along.
"We are off duty, so leave. I won't be the reason you are uncomfortable." I grumbled, grabbing the edge of the tub and trying to stand up. I groaned as another wave of dizziness hit and Spock wrapped an arm around my waist.
"With all due respect, Captain, you can barely stand. You will need assistance to bath." There was no emotion in his voice. In fact, it sounded so cold that I couldn't help it as my body crumpled in to his arms and I started to sob in to his chest. Maybe, if I hadn't left that house, if I hadn't smashed that picture, none of this would have happened. I wouldn't be crying on his chest, covered in blood, as he just stiffly stood there, an arm around my waist just to keep me up.
"Get the hell out if you don't want to be here! I'm sure Bones dragged you along when he found out where I was, so just get out, I can do this myself!" I sobbed, pushing off his chest hard enough that I stumbled back and fell in to the tub with a thunk. I put my hands over my face, unable to stop all the tears that I had been holding in.
There was a gentle knock on the door and I heard Spock leave the room. I pulled my legs in to the tub, curling in to a ball on my side as I hiccupped and sobbed. A minute later, the door opened and I sobbed louder, knowing that Spock had left.
"Bones! I fucked up badly. All I wanted was to keep you guys safe! If I hadn't made that deal he would have killed Spock then and there, I just know it! He's the only person I have ever loved…" I sobbed. "And I hurt him pretty badly and I've lost him now. I didn't even deserve him in the first place."
I kept my hands over my face, not wanting bones to see me like this as he pulled me up and against him. I stiffened instantly, knowing the difference between how Bones feels and Spock feels. I tried pulling away, embarrassed about ranting out all that stuff to him.
"Don't pull away from me again." He whispered. "I didn't want to be here, because I assumed you didn't want me here."
"I don't ever want you to leave!" I yelled out, throwing my arms around him. He let out a huff and then started chuckling.
"Jim, you don't smell like you. Can you please let me help you?" He whispered. I pulled away, glaring at him.
"So in other words, you're saying I stink." I grumbled playfully. His mouth opened, then shut, then opened again and I started laughing for the first time in a while. His gaze softened and a smile graced his lips.
"How long has he been pulling you in to your own mind and… raping you." Spock asked suddenly, causing me to shudder.
"Two weeks." I said, pulling the shirt over my head and throwing it behind Spock. It would have to be thrown in the garbage. Spock inhaled sharply, his gaze on my slightly protruding ribs.
"I will kill him the second I can do so without harming you." He whispered, reaching out as if in a trance and touching my ribs.
"Yeah, I know, I didn't take care of myself." I grumbled, reaching out to grab his shirt. He raised an eyebrow and I lifted it up to reveal another shirt. I look up at him in confusion and his cheeks flushed slightly.
"It would seem I didn't take care of myself either. Vulcans can go a lot longer than humans can without sustenance and… I haven't eaten since you left." He responded, taking off like… Five fucking shirts to reveal his ribs the same as mine. I didn't eat for two days and I looked like this. He didn't eat for two weeks, how does he not look worse! I felt like shit, it was my fault after all, and grabbed on to his pants, slipping two fingers in to the waist band as I undid the button. He gasped slightly, a purr escaping his throat.
"Jim, may I ask why you are undressing me?" His voice was rough and by the sounds of it, he was trying desperately to stay in control.
"I can't stand on my own, therefore it only makes sense for you to undress and come in here with me." I whispered. "Nothing sexual I just… need to feel you against me."
"Very well." He said, standing and stripping before helping me to my feet and taking my pants off. His eyes stayed on mine as I threw them with my shirt. He reached behind me turning on the water and instantly turning on the shower head. I gasped as the cold water hit me and I swear to god he smirked for a second.
I turned slowly in his arms, letting the water hit my face as I wiped at it to get the blood off. I stifled another gasp as his other arm came around me and started washing my front.
"Kiss me." I groaned, leaning my head on to his shoulder.
"I thought you requested that this remain unsexual." Spock whispered in my ear.
"God damn it Spock, I'm not asking you to fuck me, I'm asking you to kiss me." I growled, spinning around and shoving him against the wall. His hand slipped in to my hair and a moan escaped me as his lips, slippery from the shower water, found mine. The hand on my lower back lowered more, cupping my ass cheek and pulling me closer against him as he purred lightly.
"I missed you." He whispered, pulling away and looking in to my eyes. I grinned, gently kissing him again.
"I missed you too." I said, smiling as his hand slipped down my chest. A flash of Khan raping me shot through my mind and I cried out, backing away. Spock grabbed my face, stroking it gently as I started hyperventilating.
"It's okay, it's alright, I won't go any further." He whispered, kissing my nose gently. I relaxed, closing my eyes as tears mixed with the shower water. "Let's just finish cleaning you and then we'll go eat."
I nodded silently as Khan laughed in my head. Yes, I had Spock back, but… Was I ever truly going to be able to be with him in the same way without Khan interfering?
Another chapter bites the dust muhahahaha, I have so much much more for you guys! Feed me reviews, I live for reviews everyone! So author question, who would you prefer, Spock or Khan?