And in that moment, I swear we were infinite.
A/N: Warning for a rape scene, smoking, recreational drug use, and underage alcohol use.
Dear acquaintance,
It's been a long time since I've written to you because I have been attempting to 'participate in life' as Greg had said. I returned The Murder of Roger Ackroyd to him a few weeks ago and I told him how I'd deduced it and worked out the murder fifty-six pages into the book, and he looked astonished. Naturally it could be hard for one to believe something like this, but Greg was indeed convinced (rightfully) that I had worked it out (leaving out the part that I was masturbating when I did it). I told him that it was a very good book that I had enjoyed, but the mystery was dull and simple.
I could barely believe myself what happened next: Greg gave me a case. A real case. His wife (not for long, though. She's cheating on him) is a detective for the Scotland Yard. There had been serial suicides that I had figured out were all murders. Murder fascinates me, but I have been informed by Greg that this is a 'morbid obsession' and I do not care one bit. I wasn't allowed to do any legwork, but I could deduce things from evidence that Greg brought me. I deduced correctly that the cab driver was the murderer. I wanted to meet him very badly to ask how he'd gotten the victims to commit suicide, but no one would let me. Sixteen-year-olds aren't allowed to talk to murderers, I suppose.
I've also tried to participate in social events at my school, by request of my parents and Greg. Horrendously illogical and extremely dull. But John and Harry go to all of these events, so I am thankful for that at least.
I went to the football game last night. I purchased diet coke and some chips for them, and they smiled gratefully at me. I love John's smile. It made me feel warm inside. Harry didn't pay much attention. She was too busy watching the football game and cheering on Clara.
Harry's gay. It's obvious. Any person with half a brain can see that. She has never publicly showed any interested in members of her opposite sex, and her eyes are slightly more dilated when she talks to females than when she talks to males. She's afraid that if she comes out she'll be ridiculed. She will be.
After the game was over, John said that there was going to be a party at a friend's house. He asked me if I wanted to go. Of course I didn't, and he could see that, but I wanted to be anywhere with John.
I remember once when my parents were away, Mycroft hosted a party. It was a real posh party, with wine and wineglasses, and everyone was smoking cigarettes. They all dressed fancy, too. I thought that since they were Mycroft's friends they would act more polite and civil-minded, but apparently I thought wrong. A large number of our guests must have gotten drunk, because every ten minutes or so a couple would stumble into my room (where Mycroft had requested for me to stay) snogging, then see me and leave. Except for one couple.
They were very sociable and very much "in love," stumbled into my room and asked if I minded them using it. I told them that it would distract me from my experiment, and upon Mycroft's orders I was not to leave the room, but if they must use it they were to be very quiet. So they agreed and resumed snogging intensely for minutes straight. Then, the boy's hand snaked itself up the girl's slinky dress, and she started to protest.
"Come on, Seb,"
"What?"
"The kid's in here."
"That's fine!"
And the boy kept working his hand up the girl's dress, despite how often she said no. I pretended to concentrate on my soil experiment, monitoring them from the corner of my eye. She stopped protesting and he pulled her dress completely off. She wore no undergarments but a pair of black lacy pants. He started to kiss her breasts and put one hand down her pants. She started moaning loudly, and it was distracting. I turned around completely to tell them to please quiet down, but I was mesmerised. The boy's trousers and pants were pulled down to his knees and he was talking to her really low about how good she looked.
"Seb, please, no, don't-"
But she grabbed his penis and started stroking it, moving her hands up and down on it. A few minutes later, the boy, Seb, pushed the girl's head down and she began to kiss his penis. She was performing oral sex on him. She was still crying, but stopped as soon as she put his penis in her mouth. I started to feel ill at that point, so I turned back around and resumed my experiment. It was difficult to concentrate with all the moaning going on, so I covered my ears and just sat there, observing my soil until Mycroft came in with a bowl of crisps (which I don't eat, but it was a peace offering).
He very rudely asked his guests to leave, Seb and (I found out later the girl's name was Sally), and then asked me if I knew they were in my room. I told him that yes, I did, they asked if they could use it. He asked why I didn't stop them, and I told him that I didn't know what they were doing, which was a blatant lie. The truth was that I was curious. Mycroft look disgusted with me and left with the crisps. He probably ate the whole bowl himself.
I told John and Harry about this encounter, and they both got quiet. Harry said that she used to go out with Seb for a while. He's a senior now and plays some sort of defencive position on the football team. Sally and Seb are still together, but since what they did that night classifies as rape, she should break up with him. That'd be the most logical option.
John has his own car. It had one of those illogical sunroof things, but it was so very John in it's entirety that I could barely believe it. I sat in the middle while he drove and Harry sat to the left of me. John loves to listen to music. He kept telling Harry to find a station on the radio to listen to, but all that was coming up were endless adverts. In the end, Harry finally found this amazing song about this boy, and we all got very quiet. John tapped his hand on the steering wheel. Harry held her hand outside the car to make air waves. I just remained seated beetween them and didn't say anything until after the song was finished.
"I feel infinite."
John and Harry just looked at me as if I had just uttered the greatest thing they'd ever heard. The song was that good and we all paid attention to it. I listened to it in the point of view of the singer, and imagined singing about John. It made sense. What didn't make sense was how much my taste in music had changed since meeting John and Harry. I guess I'll have to conduct a study on that.
When we got to the party, Harry did knocked up the door in a secret pattern. The door opened a crack and a bloke with lots of fringe opened the door.
"Harriet known as Harry known as Nothing?"
"Philip."
The door opened and the old acquaintances embraced. Then, John and Philip hugged each other. John spoke.
"This is our friend, Sherlock."
Then, Philip hugged me. It was an extremely uncomfortable experience I hope will never happen again. As we hung our coats John told me that Philip was "baked like a fucking cake."
The party was in the basement of his house. The room was smoky and the kids were older than I am (though not in maturity).
Harry started smoking cigarettes. Everyone kept asking me questions, most definitely because they didn't want for me to feel out of place, especially after I had refused a beer. Soon, Philip started passing around food. This was perfect, because for a rare moment I felt hungry.
"Would you like a brownie?"
I nodded and took one. I ate it, and it tasted sort of off, but something about it made me want to keep eating it. I had never heard of this type of brownie, and you probably know by now what kind it was. After precisely twenty-seven minutes, the room started to slip away from me. I was talking to one of the girls with a belly button ring, and she seemed like something out of a film. I started blinking a lot, looking around. Everything was out of focus.
When John saw me, he turned to Philip. "What the hell is your problem?!"
"Come on, John, he likes it. Ask him."
"How do you feel, Sherlock?"
"...Light," I responded, tracing invisible dust particles in the air.
"Eh?" Philip said, no doubt nervous. The drug seemed to enhance my deductive skills, and I loved it. He was trembling slightly, barely noticeable. Experiencing paranoia and a twinge of regret. Possibly a history with inducing future drug-addicts. Pretended not to feel bad about it, but it was clear where his opinions lie.
John sat down next to me and held my hand. I was too busy observing things to get excited about his cool hand in mine.
"Are you seeing anything, Sherlock?" he asked calmly.
"Light," I said again.
"Does it feel good?"
"...Yeah."
"Are you thirsty?"
I nodded.
"What would you like to drink?"
It took me barely a half second to answer. "A milkshake." I don't know why this was funny, but everyone laughed. I laughed too.
"He's stoned!" I heard a girl across the room say. I recognised her as Irene, the lesbian from my English class.
John ignored them and leaned closer to me. I could smell his breath. It smelled like beer. "Are you hungry, Sherlock?"
I nodded.
"What would you like to eat?"
"A milkshake."
I highly doubt they could have laughed much harder than they did even if what I said was at all funny in any way. John took my hand again and stood me up on the dizzy floor. "C'mon," he said, flashing that warm smile that is so purely John, "we'll get you a milkshake."
As we were leaving he turned to Philip. "I still think you're an arsehole." And all Philip did was laugh.
John and I got back up to the kitchen, and he turned on the lights. It was bright. Too bright. I ducked my head. John just smiled again and turned off one of the lights. He got out the blender, ice cream, and some milk. I asked him where the toilet was while he made my milkshake. He told me it was upstairs, so I went upstairs in search of the toilet. When I opened the door, I saw Harriet kissing Clara. They looked completely lost in each other.
Harry informed me that what I saw was to be a secret. I knew that. She said that Clara didn't want people to know. I understood. Well, not really. Clara was the type of girl to wear skirts or dresses every day, hair up in a flower headband or a bloom tucked behind her ear. She wore pink a lot, and made a big effort to show off her breasts in whatever she wore.
John made the best milkshake I had ever had in my life.
When we got back down to the basement, Harry was downstairs, smiling more than I had ever seen her smile. Then, she pointed at me and said to Philip, "He's something, isn't he?"
"He's a wallflower." Philip nodded his head. Everyone in the room nodded their head along with him. It looked quite silly; like a circus of bobble-heads.
"You see things. You keep quiet about them. And you understand." Harry said.
I didn't know people wasted time thinking things about me. I was sitting on the floor of a basement at my first real party (whatever a 'real party' is), and I remembered that John introduced me as his friend to Philip. I remembered that Harry had done the same for Clara.
I was even more surprised when Philip raised his drink and everyone did the same.
"To Sherlock."
And everyone else said, "Cheers," and clinked glasses. I don't know why they would do that. But it made me feel...special. Loved. Especially by John. Especially him.
John looked very handsome in his suit, but I tried not to think about him like that. It was proving to be quite difficult.
After the party, we left in John's car. Harry drove this time. John had taken off his suit jacket and was just wearing his shirt with the cuffs rolled up to his elbows. Seeing him looking like this made me want to think about having sex with him. John was crouching on the seat in the middle, and I was on the left. Harry started driving really fast, and just before we got to a tunnel, John stood up. When we hit the tunnel, the sound got scooped up as if in a vacuum, and it was replaced by a song on the tape player, a beautiful song called "Landslide." John started laughing. Not from humour, but from joy. Harry started laughing. Before I knew it, we were all laughing.
And in that moment, I swear we were infinite.
-Sherlock
Please review, constructive criticism is ALWAYS welcome! I hope to update tomorrow as I do not have school, but it will be harder to do once school starts up again. I hope everyone enjoyed the Sign of Three. To avoid spoilers, I will only say that it was my favourite episode of Sherlock.