Stephenie Meyer owns all things Twilight.

I don't know what's right and what's real anymore

I don't know how we're meant to feel anymore

When do you think it will all become clear

'Cuz I'm being taken over by the fear

Bella Swan

"Ms. Swan? Ms Swan?" a woman's voice called gently. I opened one eye to find a grey haired nurse standing above me with a worried expression. She visibly relaxed when I opened both eyes and began sitting up. "You gave us quite a scare there," the doctor said. I blushed and arched my back, stretching.

"Sorry," I mumbled, blushing. "So I'm really pregnant?" I asked glumly. The nurse just laughed softly.

"It's not a prison sentence dear. It's a miracle."

No, what's a miracle is that the one time I get laid in forever ends up being the time I get knocked up!

"Yay," I tried to sound enthused. The nurse came over to me and placed an arm around me.

"Um," the doctor began, shifting uncomfortably. "I'll just let you ladies have a minute alone." Typical guy. When things get a little uncomfortable, they jet. That lesson I learned from all of Renee's past relationships.

"You'll have to excuse him." The nurse said with an arm still around me. "Now, when are you going to tell the lucky father about the baby?" It was a simple question that you could normally ask a pregnant woman but it made me break down into tears.

"Shh," the older woman whispered "It's okay."

"No...he...know...and I..can't...alone...how?" I said trough my thick sobs. The nurse just laughed lightly.

"I take it the father's not in the picture then?" she asked once my hysterics died down. I nodded. "Well he's just missing out on your beautiful baby." I smiled.

"Honestly, I don't know if he wants to be in the picture or not," I confessed. Something about this woman made me want to spill my guts. "He doesn't remember anything about the night we…conceived the baby."

"Oh, sweetie," she clucked. "You need to tell him. It's not fair to him." I opened my mouth to protest but she raised her hand to silence me. "Yes, a lot of guys run from this kind of situation but at least give him the chance to run." I thought about what she said for a minute before smiling at her.

"Okay, I'll think about it."

"Good," she said patting my leg. "Now, do you have any questions?"

Oh boy did I ever.

The kind nurse spent the next twenty minutes explaining things and answering any questions that popped into my head. She gave me pamphlets and suggestions of things to read and eat. I thanked her profusely before leaving the doctor's office.

The sun beat down but the fall air sent a shiver down my spine. I pulled my sweater more tightly around me as I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket. I flipped it open to find a text from both Alice and Rosalie asking about my appointment. I sent them both one in return.

Ready to be an aunt?

Simple but it let them know I was...with child. My phone immediately began buzzing and I knew Alice was calling.

"Mommy!" she squealed into the phone. "You're gonna be a mommy!" I laughed at the fact that she was more excited than I was and she wasn't even the pregnant one.

"Yes, I am," I replied, some of her enthusiasm rubbing off on me.

"Well you know what this means!" she exclaimed as I sat down on a bench.

"Um, no I don't," I replied, confused.

"Shopping!" she squealed into the phone, making me pull it away from my ear. "Baby clothes and toys and furniture and food!" I sighed as she said more baby things to be bought and what colors and how many. I had to stop her when she started talking about something called a onesie.

What the hell is a onesie? Shit, I'm going to be a horrible mother!

"Alice, breath," I reminded her. "The kid is not even here yet. I'm gonna call Rose and we can all talk about this tonight, okay?" She agreed and we both said goodbye.

I called Rose next and she was just as excited as Alice was.

Of course you're excited. You don't have to worry about your body parts dropping four inches after you give birth.

I informed Rose of the plans to meet later and hung up.

I got off of the bench and began walking in the opposite direction of my parked car. I needed a walk and sometime to think. I walked into the entrance of a local park and instantly regretted it.

Everywhere I turned there appeared to be woman with their children. Playing on the slide, on the monkey bars, on the tire swing. Shit, there was even a woman with triplets that strolled by, the three kids laughing in their stroller. Tears swam in my eyes. I would never be that woman. I couldn't see myself walking my kid in the park or going to every mundane school play or band recital.

I quickly turned around and booked it out of the park back to my car. The drove home was torturous as I counted four diaper ads that came on. I screeched into my parking garage and threw the door open and hurried into my apartment. Right now I needed the two most important men in my life.

Ben and Jerry.

I scanned my freezer until I found a pint of Chunky Monkey ice cream grabbed the biggest spoon I could find and sat down in front of the television. Luck was on my side in this one area because I Love Lucy reruns were playing. I laughed as Lucy locked herself in a trunk and shoved two good spoonfuls of ice cream into my mouth. I felt my phone buzzing in my pocket and flipped it open without checking to see who it was.

"Huwo," I mumbled expecting Alice to say something.

"Hello?" I heard a smooth voice chuckle on the other end. I chocked on my ice cream and began a major coughing fit. Two minutes later still coughing a bit I managed to respond.

"Edward?" I choked out not fully believing he was calling me.

"Yeah, it's me. Did I catch you at a bad time? He asked, sounding nervous.

Godzilla could be crashing through the city right now and I would still have time to talk with you.

"No," I coughed on last time. "It's fine."

"Good," he sounded relieved. "How are you?" I nearly flipped my shit. Edward Cullen was making small talk with me.

"I've been better," I blurted out. "But, uh, how are you?"

"I'm actually pretty good. Hey," he said clearing his throat. "I was wondering if you were free today. I know it's last minute and if you're busy that's fine. Just say so and-"

He's adorable when he rambles.

"Edward!" I cut him off. "I'm free today. What did you have in mind?" I heard a tiny sigh on the other side of the line.

"Great. Um, let's meet at Caribou Coffee on fourth in half an hour?" he suggested.

"Sounds good," I agreed before saying goodbye. I did a small happy dance before I rushed down the hall of my apartment to my bedroom. This was one time where I was thankful for Alice's painful shopping trips. I grabbed a blue cross back summer dress, jean jacket and a pair of black flats, pinned a section of my hair back, and added a final touch of mascara and lip gloss. I walked down to my car much happier then when I'd exited it a few minutes ago.

I arrived at the coffee place with ten minutes to spare. I made a quick trip to the bathroom to check myself over. When I emerged I really noticed how good it smelled. Coffee was probably my biggest weakness after Edward.

Crap! Pregnant equals no more coffee! Damnit! And I'm supposed to be on a coffee date!

I sucked my bottom lip between my teeth, a nervous habit of mine, as people ordered and sipped coffee around me.

"Hey," I heard Edward's voice call out. I couldn't help the smile that overtook my face as I laid eyes on him. He looked delicious, as always, in a grey v-necked cardigan with black slacks. I suppressed the moan that wanted to escape as he got closer.

"Hey, Edward," I called excitedly and waved like one of my students. When he reached me he placed his hand on the small of my back and leaned down to place a kiss on my cheek.

Again!

I blushed and looked down as he cleared his throat awkwardly.

"So, um, have you ordered yet?" he asked running a hand through his hair.

"Um, no," I thought quickly. "I think I just want a muffin or something."

Lies! I want coffee and lots of it!

"Oh, cool," he said awkwardly. Good start so far. I stepped up into the line with him, ordered and grabbed a table for us. The woman making and distributing drinks was shamelessly flirting with Edward but he just looked uncomfortable. He must have felt my gaze on him because he looked in my direction and mouthed help dramatically. I just laughed. I'd saved him at the wedding but he was on his own with this one.

My stomach clenched tightly as I thought about that night after the wedding. Maybe I should just listen to that nurse and tell him. I could see how that would go now.

Me- "Edward, I know you would never want me unless you were wasted off your ass but guess what? I'm about to bear your first child."

Edward- "Ew."

Call me crazy but I was not looking forward to that kind of instant rejection. My thoughts were interrupted as Edward sat down at the table. I laughed as he set his cup down and pulled out his chair.

"What?" he asked self-consciously checking himself for anything off. I just pointed to the cup. He turned the side facing me toward himself before sighing loudly and rolling his eyes. On the side with hearts surrounding it was the coffee woman's name and number followed by call me.

"That probably happens a lot," I said, picking at my blueberry muffin. Edward scoffed.

"I wouldn't know. I probably wouldn't have noticed if you hadn't said anything." We laughed for a moment but quickly died down into a quiet awkwardness.

"So," I began. "What made you want to see me today, Edward?" Not that I'm complaining.

"Honestly, I don't know," he answered. I darkened a little. I had been hoping for a more romantic answer. "I've just been thinking about you a lot ever since you saved me at Alice's wedding." Better answer.

"That was an…interesting night," I said with a dry laugh. And with that we slipped into an easy conversation. We talked about our friends, high school, college, and a lot of random crap but I loved every second of it.

If Mike Newton had been talking I probably would have fallen asleep from boredom but I could listen to Edward all day. I loved watching his lips move, and the way he tugged on his hair when he thought or for no reason at all. He caught me off guard with a question a few times as I wasn't paying attention to what he said sometimes but watching him instead. I started when I heard my phone go off in my purse.

I want to be rich and I want lots of money

I don't care about clever, I don't care about funny

I want loads of clothes and fuck loads of diamonds

I heard people die while they are trying to find them

Edward laughed and I blushed as Alice's ringtone came loud and clear through my purse.

"She picked it herself," I mumbled before answering the phone.

"Where are you Bella?" Alice asked impatiently.

"What are you talking about?" I asked confused.

"You, Rose, me. Baby talk! Do you have pregnancy brain already?" she accused. I smacked my forehead. I had agreed to come out with Edward and totally forgotten about 'baby talk' with Rose and Alice.

"I'm sorry, Al," I said, using nickname to butter her up. "I guess I do." She sighed in response.

"Just get your little butt down here now and all is forgiven!" she said and hung up without giving me a chance to answer back.

"Well that was Alice," I explained to Edward.

"I could hear her," he said with a laugh. I froze. Had he heard her baby comments? He didn't look freaked out so I guess he hadn't.

"Ha, so anyway, I kind of planned something with Rose and her that I'm currently," I looked at the clock on my cell phone, "twenty five minutes late for so I have to get going." He looked sad for a minute which I took a sick joy out of before he responded.

"I'd hate to make you face an angry Alice," he pretended to shudder at the thought making me laugh. "I'll walk you out."

We both stood and I grabbed his empty coffee cup out of his hand and walked past three garbage cans to throw it out right by the counter where coffee girl just glared at me. I gave her a wink and a smile before Edward caught up with me and ushered me outside with a smile of his own.

song inspiration? The Fear by Lily Allen

hey, does anyone wanna write lemons for this story?

oh, and reviewers get a Caribou Coffee date with Edward.