I stared out into deep space, wondering if Carth, Mission, Bastila, Canderous, Zalbaar, T3-M4 and I were getting sucked into some huge destiny that none of us had any control over. I placed my hands on the co-pilot controls and heaved a heavy sigh.

"Don't do that." Carth scolded and slapped my fingertips.

"Sorry." I whispered and walked away.

I went into the dormitories where Mission wasn't staying and lay down on the cold durasteel floor. I lay on my back and stared at the ceiling, laying completely still and unaware that I was even breathing. I heard soft footsteps outside the door and I immediately sprung up. I sighed when I saw it was only Carth.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to wake you up." He whispered, clutching to the frame of the door.

"I wasn't sleeping."

He came in and sat down next to me. I sighed at his presence and how it could make such an impression on my spirit. He was like the better half of myself and I had a feeling our friendship was no where near finished. He smiled softly at me, and I grinned involuntarily.

"You want to talk now?" I asked.

He nodded, and we discussed more of his past. I learned of how Saul betrayed him and bombed Telos. I nodded and listened intently, realizing he still left details about the roots of his hatred for him.

"Carth, there has to be something else that makes you hate him.

Carth began to seethe.

"Yes, and I told you, he bombed my home planet!"

"But Carth--"

I rested my hand on his, and he flung it off and wrapped his hands around my throat. My eyes went wide and I was terrified. This was completely out of character for him, and he saw the terror in my eyes. He carefully unwrapped his hands from my throat and croaked that he had to go. He ran from the room, leaving me speechless and clutching my neck delicately.

"Well well." Canderous quipped, sauntering into the room.

"Not now." I whispered and got up to walk away.

He clothes-lined me back to the floor. He straddled me and I struggled to loosen myself. He bent close to my face.

"We are not done yet."

"As far as I am concerned, we are."

I managed to push him off me and I locked myself in the med bay. I'm always screwing something up, although technically Carth almost choking me was no fault of my own. I laid on the bed accessed the medication we had in stock. All we had were mild sedatives, which were good enough for me. I entered my ID and the machine silently distributed one needle and a vial. Warning signs flashed on the monitor, but I ignored it, figuring I knew what I was doing. I filled the needle to the fifteen mark, then tapped it to get air bubbles out. A pounding came on the door.

"Yeah?" I said rudely.

"Zerstoren, what are you doing in there?" Bastila asked shrilly.

"Preparing myself for the trip." I replied.

"Zerstoren?"

I hummed and inserted the needle into my arm, gasping slightly from the pain. I was never good with needles, but in a few seconds the lights spun and I began to giggle and sing horribly.

"come on now try and understand
the way I feel when I'm in your hands
take my hand come undercover
they can't hurt you now."

Bastila pounded on the door again, and I barely sat up to scream at her when I fell from the chair.

--CARTH'S POV--

I swiveled in the pilot's chair and twiddling my thumbs when I heard Bastila banging on the door to the med bay. She asked what Zerstoren was doing, and I couldn't hear her answer. Bastila called her name again, then I heard a faint thump, and Bastila went nuts. She screamed her name and tugged on the door hard, but to no avail. My heart raced as I looked at Bastila. She was panicking.

"Carth, open the damn door!"

I had never really heard Bastila swear before, but I tried to open it. I asked Bastila what happened, but she couldn't answer.

"I can't open it. No one can."

"T3!" Bastila screamed, running through the ship.

I personally thought she was making a big deal out of nothing, but then again, Zerstoren probably got into something she shouldn't have. T3 came back and neatly sliced into the med bay door, and I looked at Zerstoren on the floor, her head covered in blood. Bastila didn't scream, but her breathing became faster and heavier. We picked her up and put her back on the bed. Again, she hits her head. Bastila carefully picked up a needle and sighed.

"She's overdosed on something."

I took the needle from her hand. It had some blood on it, and it was empty. There was no way she overdosed on the ship. Then again, Davik did handle spice. It was possible she crushed it up and stuck it through her arm. That was unlikely, as I'm sure she didn't do this on purpose. Bastila carefully dressed her head wound, and I gingerly grabbed her arm.

"Let's go." I said quietly.

"But Zerstoren…she's still hurt Carth!"

"She'll be fine. We need to leave her alone for now."

Bastila reluctantly followed as we left Zerstoren alone in the medbay with the door open and T3-M4 watching over her very carefully.